#naylaa

I was going thru her old photos, especially the newborn pictures and I can’t help but to feel melancholy about it. She is so big now. This time, last year, I was heavily pregnant and was wondering why did I have to go through such painful pregnancy. Allah’s plan is the best plan. He was preparing me to go through motherhood. I remember complaining to Suffian that I hated the fact that I couldn’t sleep 8 hours straight during pregnancy; that was just my body preparing me. I love my midnight feeding session so much because at that moment, it’s just me and my daughter. No one else.

During the fourth trimester, things were crazy for me. I thought I was a bad mother because I didn’t care but little did I know, it was just a phase. People gave me so many comments along the way but I learned to ignore it because when it comes to motherhood, to each his own. 

Throughout the 28 years of my life, I learned the most this year. I learned to be patient, less self-centered. I learned to let go of my ego and the best part, I learned that love doesn’t divide, it multiplies. The amount of love I have for my daughter, I cannot explain it but now I understand why parents go extra length of their kids. It’s the immense love that we have for them. 

I looked at Naylaa last night when she was sleeping; I cried a little bit knowing how big she has gotten. She has developed some strong-willed (I do not want to say stubborn lol) personality, she knows what she wants. Now, she would crawl to us whenever we get back from work. Oh my, heart. 

My darling Naylaa,

I might not be the perfect mother and you might realize that when you’re older but please know, everyday, I give my best as a mother to you. When I first saw you, I never knew I could love any being this much but you taught me so much. I would literally give my life for you and I hope you realize one day that everything that we do, we do it for you.

Mummy and Papa love you, above all things in life.