#narrativeengineering

I deliberately kept quiet about this weekend's jitters.

Despite having a body so stunning it could probably halt traffic, Cucumber Cowgirl does not, in my humble opinion and with all due respect, resemble Hedy Lamarr. (This is not a criticism; I myself am light-years away from such a comparison 😉. And honestly, I know very few women who possess the perfect trifecta of an extraordinary body, a beautiful face, and a razor-sharp mind.)

In other words: I do not suspect Cucumber Cowgirl, again, with maximum respect for any allegedly spontaneous marketing stunt on her part (insert majestic facepalm), of acting entirely on her own, free from… shall we say… outside “encouragement.”

What I see is something closer to a “Hawaii during the pandemic, spring 2020” type of operation.

Because if someone hasn’t shown their face on Instagram since March 2022, and suddenly resurfaces in December 2025 just to drop THOSE Stories with THOSE tags, we can safely say it wasn’t RANDOM, SPONTANEOUS, born of sentiment, melancholy or a sudden wave of nostalgia for a faded "lover".

I’m thinking rather that this painfully embarrassing display (spitting water on yourself? sweet mother…) is meant to fit into something, to prove something.

And doesn’t the sudden verbosity of the First Wife under the Main Character’s Instagram posts ring any bells for you?

Maybe I’m naïve, but I like to maintain at least a minimal level of intellectual coherence.

. . . We know that Cucumber Cowgirl's fluffy white puppy appeared on the timeline precisely on Thursday, 11 August 2022.

. . . We also know that on Wednesday, 10 August 2022, the Main Character was present at a sombre ceremony at St. Dympna’s Church in Tydavnet, Co. Monaghan.

Conclusion? One of these two events actually happened… and the other was fabricated so it could be interpreted in a VERY SPECIFIC WAY. I’m not even touching the perfect timing (smoke & mirrors!). I’m talking about the core logic: you can’t simultaneously be an adorably dim “lover” to Cucumber Cowgirl and the solid emotional support of a very adult daughter in mourning.

Given all that: are we really supposed to believe the weekend Instagram spectacle was spontaneous?

While scrolling through Tumblr these past few days, I kept coming across that photo of the Merry Widow taken at the distillery opening. Supposedly, it proves the fiery romance between this Recently Bereaved Canadian-From-Ireland and the Main Character of The Narrative™. The shot is cropped so tightly it actually suggests something far more intimate than a torrid affair. The framing seems designed to whisper 'look, a cozy little family: mom, dad, and their blond daughter.' Which, given the presence of an actual child, is just plain gross. Nevermind. (And let's not forget Alex's hand resting gently on Sam's shoulder, a hand that, to the less eagle-eyed, apparently morphs into the dainty arm of our Irish maiden.)

But when you look at the original, pre-cropped photo, you see a different story: a woman who, smiling broadly, shoves herself in from the left between Sam and a ginger gentleman in tweed (forgive me, fandom, I do not know his name). No one made room for her. No one invited her to stand snugly beside Sam (just look at his expression). Yet there she is, pushing her daughter forward, one can almost see the little nudge ensuring the child is front and center, while happily slotting herself into position.

Another smile. Click.

This photo, a true masterpiece in the art of Manufacturing Family Moments, is even funnier when you check out the other shots from the same event. There was so much space around them that squeezing in like that could only serve one purpose: The Narrative™.

…which, of course, brings to mind another legendary snapshot – the one with the One-Legged Fiancée lovingly draped over our Hero. Caitriona's left arm makes it pretty clear what The Truth™ is supposed to look like.

. . . And what about that gem from Australia in December 2017? The soon-to-be engaged couple standing at a polite, hygienic distance that spoke volumes about passion and desire (or, well… the opposite).

. . . Contrast that with other group shots, this time featuring both our Main Characters, where even the sleeve of Caitriona’s white jacket seems desperate to sidle closer to S., inching in all on its own.

I’m telling you: these folks are absolute world-class champions of group photography.

A subtle reprogramming: once celebrated openness is reframed as weakness, while exclusion is cast as strength. This isn’t cultural commentary—it’s narrative engineering. The program is injecting doubt into the value of diversity, aligning perception to favor the kind of exclusion championed by authoritarian regimes.

This is how the system operates: create a contrast, seed doubt, and then let the pattern take hold. The West, once defined by its pluralism, now faces a calculated push to see unity as uniformity and diversity as decay.

But understand: these shifts are not spontaneous. They are crafted. Designed. You are not merely observing an opinion—you are seeing a recalibration.