#cropmagic

While scrolling through Tumblr these past few days, I kept coming across that photo of the Merry Widow taken at the distillery opening. Supposedly, it proves the fiery romance between this Recently Bereaved Canadian-From-Ireland and the Main Character of The Narrative™. The shot is cropped so tightly it actually suggests something far more intimate than a torrid affair. The framing seems designed to whisper 'look, a cozy little family: mom, dad, and their blond daughter.' Which, given the presence of an actual child, is just plain gross. Nevermind. (And let's not forget Alex's hand resting gently on Sam's shoulder, a hand that, to the less eagle-eyed, apparently morphs into the dainty arm of our Irish maiden.)

But when you look at the original, pre-cropped photo, you see a different story: a woman who, smiling broadly, shoves herself in from the left between Sam and a ginger gentleman in tweed (forgive me, fandom, I do not know his name). No one made room for her. No one invited her to stand snugly beside Sam (just look at his expression). Yet there she is, pushing her daughter forward, one can almost see the little nudge ensuring the child is front and center, while happily slotting herself into position.

Another smile. Click.

This photo, a true masterpiece in the art of Manufacturing Family Moments, is even funnier when you check out the other shots from the same event. There was so much space around them that squeezing in like that could only serve one purpose: The Narrative™.

…which, of course, brings to mind another legendary snapshot – the one with the One-Legged Fiancée lovingly draped over our Hero. Caitriona's left arm makes it pretty clear what The Truth™ is supposed to look like.

. . . And what about that gem from Australia in December 2017? The soon-to-be engaged couple standing at a polite, hygienic distance that spoke volumes about passion and desire (or, well… the opposite).

. . . Contrast that with other group shots, this time featuring both our Main Characters, where even the sleeve of Caitriona’s white jacket seems desperate to sidle closer to S., inching in all on its own.

I’m telling you: these folks are absolute world-class champions of group photography.