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By the time you read this, I will have already been in the Furthest Ring for multiple days. This post will be the last communication you will have with this incarnation of myself.
It has become clear that I cannot keep up after everything that has happened, eventually the Handmaiden of Death shall shed the shreds of sentimentality that allowed me to exist for as long as I have and this incarnation of me will be erased.
Instead of allowing that fate to find me, I have taken it upon myself to recover Sephone. I'm sorry to have done this so clandestinely, but it is for the best that I kept attachments to a minimum.
I will miss you all. I hope that whatever version of me appears next, will be good to you.
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Halfsies came downstairs, stomping his clawed feet to make his displeasure more obvious to his detached brother. Freeman was lounging on the couch, scowling at the screens in his prosthetic eyes- after all, he had just been arguing with a couple of people, and decided to end the most unpleasant when finally dared to do so.
"what."
"You! You brought me up, you argued with Ember! You blocked her!"
"yeah, i did. i don't see you unblocking her, either."
Halfsies approached the couch Freeman had been living on for years now, his large tail thumping with further displeased body language; Freeman's point, however, made Halfsies blush white in shame, as well as his current unhappiness.
"That is not the point!!"
But he did have a point. Halfsies had soft-blocked Ember ages ago, but hadn't stopped her from re-following not too long after... and now, he hadn't unblocked her, either, even though he fully had the power. Avoidance of conflict at its finest.
Halfsies's chest tightened. He flexed his clawed fists. Freeman continued lounging, scowling at the screens within his eyes, for a few moments longer, before he blinked them away and made to sit up. His scowl was pointed to Halfsies.
"So what is your point, then? That I didn't have to open old wounds by mentioning you? That I didn't have to acknowledge Ember in the first place? That I shouldn't have fucking bothered anybody with my shitty commentary?"
He loosely hugged his knees. Freeman already knew that the answer was all of these things, and also, that his twin was thoroughly humiliated by Ember's response; he would have preferred if they didn't talk to her at all unless she engaged first, and therefore didn't tread where they weren't welcome. Halfsies never wanted to step out of his comfort zone, his personal barrier of competence: if he knew where he stood and he knew his goals, he was bright and confident; if he didn't, he was overly cautious, sometimes downright too anxious about the unknowns to do anything at all. Yellow slit pupils searched Halfsies's openly expressive face.
Halfsies was now scowling. But he also looked about to cry. A frustrated growl was building in his throat.
Why did his brother have to be so aware of what was going on, but not be able to care enough to do more than argue over it? How could he thoroughly insult someone, hurt them, and not be angry or have been doing so maliciously? How was he so out of touch with the consequences of his words and actions?
"Maybe, Freeman, I WISH YOU WEREN'T SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!"
It was rare for Halfsies to yell, anymore, and Free's scowl lessened slightly.
"Maybe, you should be keeping your douchey opinions to yourself! Maybe Aitar is right, and you should not feel superior to people from media because you know their stories and fates, you should just let them live their lives as they are meant to!! We are not better than anyone, but that does not mean you have to be such a pessimistic, know-it-all, unrepentant douchebag all the time!!"
Halfsies began to pace, gesticulating with his arms for emphasis and out of a need to move.
"We were wished a happy birthday! There was cake, and well-wishes- why do you have to ruin everything that is potentially good?! Why did losing Roxy make you into such a--"
"DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TALK ABOUT HER TO ME! DON'T!"
Freeman was standing on the cushions, now, sparking white and black, eyes blazing crimson from the excess energy.
"WHY DID YOU--" he pointed aggressively at his brother, hand close to him, "HAVE TO BECOME SUCH A PATHETIC FUCKING COWARD AFTER ESTERA LEFT? HUH?! OH, WOE IS ME, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE ME LIKE HER AGAIN-
"GROW UP, SOLLUX! GET OVER IT!"
Halfsies tackled Freeman in a rage, toppling the couch and table.
Just a post to make the splitting of Midnight Swarm official. Russell is no longer part of the band because they're all going their separate ways. But that now gives him more time for drumming/gaming steams and recorded videos at least.
The five of them on the video call sat in silence. It was almost strange to be wearing their street clothes after only really seeing in each other in their band outfits for all these years.
"I think we all know why we're here," Stacy, the vocalist only said. Her voice was sombre, "We all knew this was coming."
"And yet you couldn't be bothered to make this an actual in person meeting?" Leopold asked, adjusting the string to a guitar he was holding.
"Listen, I don't think Stacy would want to make us all go out to meet for news like this," Delilah said. It appeared that she knew what was happening.
"Oh she told you and Lucy first, did she?" Leopold rolled his eyes, "Of course she did."
"Well no," Lucy was quiet as she gave her input, "But as Stacy said, I think we all know."
"Nothing to say, Russell," Leopold asked.
"Not, not really..." Russell only said, "I, I was just gonna say, what-whatever we, we decide, I'm, I'm behind it."
"Well, that's the thing," Stacy said, "I don't think any of us are happy doing this anymore. We've started to resent this whole thing. We go through the motions. None of us actually look forward to performing anymore. Even you, Russell, you had a spark in your eyes when you first performed and now it's gone."
"Oh um, well, I..." Russell fidgeted where he sat.
"You don't have to say it," Delilah said, "You still have it in those streams you do. You still have your joy for drumming, just not with us. Just how I don't enjoy back up singing anymore."
"So you're just verbally confirming it now," Leopold confirmed, "We're done essentially. Midnight Swarm has finally committed pesticide."
"If you want to put it that way, I won't stop you," Stacy said.
"I'll be putting a video on our social medias later," Lucy added, "Just so those who did listen to us can know. They've given a lot of support and it's the least we can do."
"We-well, it's been a, a good seven years," Russell said, with a small smile, "So, so I, I have to say thank you for, for letting me be, be part of it, even, even if, if it is over."
"That's just like you, Luna Moth," Stacy said fondly, "Always trying to see the best in things."
"Well, someone has to," Delilah said, "But hey, before we, well, end things for good, how about we do one more song together, now, for old time's sake?"
For the first time in ages, a unified agreement was instantly made, and even if it was on a video call, Russell felt like it was a perfect send off for this part of his life.
People don't talk about the unspoken rules of entering a classroom. What happens in the walk between home and the door of the classroom doesn't matter and doesn't dictate your mood during the next 2 hours.
But the 2 minutes between the door and seat does. In those 2 minutes you should not:
. Have eye contact with anyone you don't know. Except the teacher which you can sometimes repel with a slight nod or hello.
. Say "good morning/evening" or "hello". It's a huge gamble of the dice. Pray to whatever god you believe in that your voice doesn't crack or someone doesn't say hello back out of kindness.
. Misstep, or walk awkwardly. Most of the time, it's just your head playing tricks on you. But you don't know if it's one of those times or not, and that's scary.
. Sit awkwardly, or throw your derriere down with the might of zeus. Instant zero aura
And all of the above can be negated with pure confidence which, in the case you found all that I said relatable, I have bad news for you and me.
