#n0tdrunk

this one?

Don't Leave Me Asunder by maikurosaki (oneshot |31,135 | T)

Like many other war veterans, Bucky Barnes is alone. He doesn't talk to his family, he has no friends and his only human interactions are with his cleaning crew from Avengers Tower. Plagued by nightmares and pain, he lives each day in isolation. Until the Avengers bring their fight at home and Bucky gets to meet the famous Captain America. To his surprise, both their lives change forever after that.

I mean, there’s not much I could “figure out”, really... my options are sadly quite limited. But last night I got back from Madrid (I don’t actually live there, I was just there for the weekend because of a uni assignment) and when asshole ex-roommate came to my place to leave Raven with me again we talked. I posted an update here <3

The situation is still less than ideal of course --moreso considering that Raven only stayed with him for a few days and when she was back with me she was totally starving (and she’s never been a dog that eats her food quickly and with desperation, more like the opposite, so it was VERY NOTICEABLE that she was super hungry and hadn’t eaten a thing in who knows how long) and super thirsty, and had lots of pent-up energy..... so I’m never super happy about having to leave her with him--, but at least it’s a bit less critical now? *sighs*

OH! OH 

okay so you want some pain. Got it. haha

Well, more like bittersweet vs angst pain. Actually, I don’t think it’s a matter of Bucky not leaving the hospital but it’s a matter of Steve and Bucky both deciding it’s time and that he should leave the hospital and forgo all remaining treatment that they could’ve tried. So, Steve takes Bucky home, knowing that now he has to provide hospice care, and that his kids are going to have to learn what’s happening (they’re grown now though, so it’s not like they have to explain death to children). Well, that’s probably a lie because they have grandchildren by this point. And Steve’s in his 70s so it’s not like he can carry Bucky to the bathroom each time he needs it. So he’ll have to explain to his children that he needs their help through this too. 

And it’s very painful watching someone you love die, knowing it’s their choice to stop fighting. Bucky says he’s ready though, he’s had his marriage, his college years, watching his children grow from babies into adults. His eldest has children of his own. Bucky had it all, thanks to Steve’s rigorous combating of H-IGM, but it’s now time to stop fighting and accept what he used to be so afraid if. And he’s not afraid anymore. 

But Steve, no matter how supportive of this decision he seems, always feels like he’s somehow missed something. Or there’d been a sign he could’ve traced, or that they could’ve caught the cancer earlier. So he beats himself up psychologically. He doesn’t dare tell Bucky this though. But he’s got a life-long friend in Sam, and he tells him. Who tells him, When it’s your turn to you, you gotta go. And that it’s not Steve’s fault and he gave Bucky everything he could.

It’s hard to watch Bucky whither away without medical treatment. They keep him comfortable, of course. With the help of their children, they set up an in-home hospice for Bucky. Of course, Bucky’s prescribed all the pain medication he needs, but he refuses to take it. He doesn’t want to die feeling foggy. He’d rather be alert and in pain with the ones he loves than in a medicine induced haze, forfeiting the remainder of his time. 

Steve does accept Bucky’s choice. He does eventually realize it’s not his fault. He spends every waking moment with Bucky, surrounded by children and grandchildren and thinks back to the stupidest decision of his life--kissing a patient, and knows that it was the best decision he’d ever made. 

After Bucky’s death, there’s a noticeable change in Steve though, his children pick up on it. Losing a soulmate is hard, especially one who should’ve gotten to live as long as Steve had, but life and genetics had other plans. Steve doesn’t outlive Bucky by much. Their kids are absolutely positive Steve wanted to die, which hurts them--because they lost both their dads. But there’s something romantic about following the one you love to the grave, and so they try to keep that in mind when they’re attending the funeral and in the days to come. 

@n0tdrunk

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AU Ideas: 4 (with Artist Steve?? that'd be...

Ducking fuck, they get together don’t they, they kiss and Bucky cries a little cause he never thought he’d have this even tho he’s been dreaming about since he was little and in the army he would pretend that he’d be going home to see Steve cause even after all that time he was still thinking about the punk and fuck FUCK nucky is going to wake up every morning and quietly whisper Steve Rogers to himself because it will never be real to him even after 20 years

steve "i need to train harder to ride dick harder" rogers

Here is the Ao3 search for everything featuring Diana, but these seem to fit especially:

The Odyssey by buckyjerkbarnes

“No,” Diana murmured, “we fight to protect the men, women and children who are suffering uselessly under the thumbs of infantile dictators. Those men are not leaders—they are whining children, bullies to those who hold less power than them.”

If Steve were awake, Bucky knew damn well he’d have hearts in his eyes.

He wasn’t the only one who seemed to be having the same series of thoughts as Monty breathed: “My god, there are two of them.”

[Alternatively known as “The Frisbee Friends” for Diana and Steve set to be future shield-bros. Ranges from 1944 to 2011.]*Note: chapters 1-6 were all written before the release of Wonder Woman (2017)

Yours too? by doubled_helix

“I mean, I fell off a cliff for two minutes, and the punk goes and takes a plunge into the Arctic. You would think the chewing out I gave him over the grenade incident knocked some sense into his tiny blond head.”

Diana raised an eyebrow. “You fell off a cliff?”

Bucky shrugged. “I got better.”

(Or: Bucky and Diana are so done with their self-sacrificing boyfriends’ shit)

a state of emergency (who was i trying to be?) by QueenWithABeeThrone

The first time Diana meets Captain Steven Grant Rogers, she breaks his nose.

or: a series of related, non-chronological vignettes starring an Amazon, two spies, three soldiers, and a few love stories.

For the World That Can Be by stellahibernis

Diana is on a mission to prevent the war from taking a dark turn, when she finds an unconscious man in the middle of a forest in southern France. It feels like cosmic irony when it turns out his name is Steve.

Steve wakes up, and nothing is as he remembers, and yet it’s familiar, because it’s late fall in 1943. He’s right in the middle of the war again, except this is not his war.

Bucky comes out of cryostasis in Wakanda, and immediately knows something has gone horribly wrong.

To the Left of Fate (WIP) by Maraudera

When Diana dove into that water and swam toward the metal wreckage, she changed history forever. She also changed the lives of the two soldiers she rescued.

Story will most likely include polyamory.

Ain’t No Easy Way Out (WIP) by littledaybreaker

this is just about the funniest, sexiest, outright awesome fic I’ve read this week

there are puns, annoyed with the bullshit but awesome bro Sam, bucky being a 21st century slut, and blushing shit head Steve. 

do yourself a favor and read this