#n centric

When they all became so obsessed with him, Hakyeon wasn’t sure, but it was starting to be slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it was the blonde hair. Two of them, Taekwoon and Sanghyuk, seemed happy enough to just have the chance to play with his hair.

It was fine, really, if a bit distracting when he was trying to do things. But he’d accept it because at least their antics were more subtle, less bothersome. (When did it become him thinking others were distracting?)

Jaehwan and Wonsik were a bit more on that “actually say things about it” side. Which, in and of itself wasn’t all that surprising. But Hakyeon was starting to think they were trying to get something from him, with how often the compliments came.

He took to glaring at them and hiding in hats. Still, he could handle it. At least until he realized hiding in hats from the compliments left the two who wanted to play with his hair pouting. These guys, really.

Hongbin was the one to straight-out tell him everyone just thought he was hot. If Hakyeon had expected the bluntness, maybe he wouldn’t have tripped over his words and feet at the statement.

“What the fuck?”

“What did you think was going on?”

“I don’t know, not that!”

He never really got it. The whole soulmate thing wasn’t really relevant to him, if he was honest. Hakyeon wanted to know, to meet his soulmate, of course. But the part about hearing your soulmates voice in your head? Of your thoughts changing for your voice to theirs? Wasn’t really relevant to him.

Hakyeon figured, if he had never gotten sick, if he had never gotten nerve damage in his cochlear nerve, or whatever it was the doctor said had happened, maybe it would have been relevant. But he had been so long, he doesn’t remember anything related to sounds at all.

So while his friends, as they turn eighteen, talk about how weird it is to have the voice change, he wonders how that will work for him.

Taekwoon is probably his best friend, Hakyeon figures. Even if he’d deny it, Hakyeon is pretty sure that’s how they both feel. And he appreciates that Taekwoon doesn’t talk- sign, really- about the voice in his head all the time. Not that Hakyeon would mind hearing more about it, but Taekwoon had only mentioned his soulmate a few times, and was usually not intrested in talking about it.

Hakyeon could sort of appreciate it. Since Hakyeon doesn’t have one. Not a soulmate, at least he doesn’t think that’s the case, but a voice in is head. Maybe because he doesn’t know much about sounds, or what they well, sound like. At least he’d read that people who are deaf from birth- or early life, like him- usually can’t hear their soulmates voice even though a soulmate exists. So he isn’t worried, but he still feels awkward hearing about other people’s head-voices when they turn eighteen.

Hongbin, his neighbor and other best friend despite being younger, on the other hand isn’t old enough to hear their voice yet, so he’s fine too in that respect. Besides, he’s more caught up in having Hakyeon teach him sign-language to care.

While Hakyeon is older than him, Taekwoon still goes to college first. After taking a few months break. Once his semester starts in January, he leaves. Hakyeon can’t afford it though, not when he was all-but-adopted by his aunt and uncle and they already have two kids of their own to support, and he’s got no money of his own. So he gets a job straight out of highschool while Taekwoon goes off to college.

It’s most of his friends being off at college- except Hongbin who is busy in school anyway- that causes Hakyeon to persue finding someone else to hang out with. And really, what better way than to go to a bar? Okay, so maybe that wasn’t his first plan. But as it turns out, there aren’t a lot of people his age at the nursing home he works at as a janitor. At least none with his hours.

The bar, as it’s called, is actually more of a club. It’s open late on the weekends and play’s music so loudly that Hakyeon can feel the base in his bones. At least, he knows what everyone’s dancing with. Not very well, in most cases, but that’s beside the point. He visits once every two weeks, in hopes of meeting someone, maybe. But it’s not like the occupants there are very good company, when drunk and unaware that he can’t hear them.

Which is why the fight isn’t his fault. About two months into the plan someone tries flirting with him. Not that he realizes it, at first. Since he’s not facing them and they’re most likely too drunk to understand if he could. Hakyeon only realizes when someone grabs him, spins him around, and asks him what he’s doing in a less-than-friendly way.

“What?” He attempts, and they clench their teeth at him, say something far to quickly for him to catch and look expectant. “What?” He repeats.

They punch him. Hakyeon’s world spins, he stumbles back, and in the corner of his eye he sees someone pull the guy outside.

Later he finds out from the generous person who calls him a cab, what had happened. Not a lot of people date when they haven’t found their soulmates. Unless they’re really desperate for some type of action or know they wont have romantic feelings either way. But some people do, get caught up in those relationships even to the point of ruining them later. And apparently the person he didn’t know was flirting with him, and the guy who hit him, were some of those people.

“He said that if you weren’t their soulmate you should back off.”

Hakyeon wasn’t sure what logic that guy was running on, honestly.

So he stops going there. He finds the only thing he misses is the pounding of the music.  After he brags about getting into a fight and surviving to Taekwoon and Hongbin, of course. (They weren’t as amused by the story as Hakyeon was.)

In his sixth year of school Hakyeon started dance lessons. His aunt and uncle insist that he takes them when they find out how much he loves watching dancers. He thinks it’s a bad idea, how can he dance when he can’t even hear the music? But he finds himself excelling at it despite his worries. He can physically feel the music if it’s loud enough, and since he doesn’t have to worry about damaging his hearing, he can turn it up against him and dance along with the beats.

When his aunt and uncle have their first kid- bless her soul- they stop being able to afford Hakyeon’s lessons, and thus Hakyeon loses access to a dance studio. And he can’t exactly go blasting music in their house, nor is dancing with headphones on allowed after he breaks the third lamp.

A week after the fight, Hongbin bursts into his house asking Hakyeon to help him do some reasearch.

“Is it possible to start hearing your soulmates voice early?” Hongbin asks him in a panic and as much as Hakyeon wants to remind him that he doesn’t hear his at all, he shrugs and asks Hongbin to explain.

When he gets the explanation that Hongbin think’s he’s hearing someone else’s voice in his head- and really Hakyeon shouldn’t have been surprised. So they do some research. As it turns out, the “when you turn eighteen” rule is more of a general “most likely” than anything exact. Some people start hearing the voice earlier, some later.

“You should see if anyone else you know has too.” Hakyeon’s suggestion seems to be taken, when Hongbin texts him that someone else he goes to school with has the same thing going on.

Hakyeon is personally offended that Wonsik is taller than him. Hongbin hadn’t even warned him, before introducing them. And honestly, Hakyeon was pretty tall to start with, how come all his friends and friends, friends were so tall too?

“Nice to meet you,” He says instead of mentioning any of that, and Wonsik’s confident grin disappears for just long enough that Hakyeon notices before he smiles.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

Hakyeon never really got why some people thought living with your parents even after you turn eighteen was such a big deal. Even so, he didn’t want to live with aunt and uncle forever, so he tried to find an apartment of his own. At least, after Taekwoon refuses to let Hakyeon live with him.

Hakyeon is grateful that Hongbin introduced him to Wonsik, when Wonsik mentions how cheep the rent where he lives is. As it turns out, the apartment building which isn’t far from where he lives, and is where Wonsik lives, has really cheep rent because of noise problems in the area. Hakyeon has to resist laughing in the person who warns him about that’s face.

It’s through living in the same building as Wonsik that they become friends. Which, he thinks, isn’t much different from how he became friends with Hongbin. The difference, though, is that Wonsik shares a very specific interest with Hakyeon.

Hakyeon finds out, through idle conversations months, that Wonsik works part-time at a convenience store nearby. He uses the money he makes to, twice a month, rent out a room in a dance studio for a few hours. When they find out their shared intrest in dance, Wonsik invites Hakyeon to join him the next time he rents the room.

The studio room, as Hakyeon finds out, is fairly big. There’s not shortage of room for the both of them, and the music echo’s off the walls in a way that Hakyeon can feel with most of his being. This is how Wonsik become’s his new best friend.

“I’m hurt.” Taekwoon texts him when Hakyeon says as much. Followed by, two hours after, “I’m replacing you with Hongbin then.”

Hakyeon sends a horrified emoji in return.

On the weekdays, Hakyeon works from eight in the morning until five in the afternoon. Wonsik and Hongbin, during that time are in school. At least until three, when Hongbin baby-sits Hakyeons cousins and Wonsik works. So finding times when their free is pretty easy. Until Hongbin starts taking extra lessons after baby-sitting and Wonsik and Hakyeon’s are the only one’s available.

He finds himself spending most of his time with Wonsik because of that.

Hakyeon’s cousin, the oldest of the two, expresses that she doesn’t want to be friends with people younger than her because they’re immature. She’s only in her first year of schooling, and Hakyeon tries not to laugh.

“You’re immature too,” Hakyeon’s younger brother tells her, and she pouts and hit’s him while Hakyeon think’s of something to say.

“I have a few friends younger than me,” Hakyeon starts, “And they’re a little immature, but not bad to be around.”

She nods, but looks unsatisfied with the answer. He wishes she spoke, it’d make figuring out what she wanted easier. He doesn’t have long to think about that before his brother is off to cram-school and Hongbin is arriving to watch the kids.

“You’re here today?”

“I can visit my cousin’s sometimes, you know.”

Summer comes and leaves, and when fall starts Hakyeon gets a message from Taekwoon saying “kill me.”

“I can’t afford to go to jail.” He responds back before asking what’s wrong.

“My roommate moved out.”

Hakyeon is well aware Taekwoon can’t afford the apartment on his own, and offers his sympathies and help setting up an ad for Taekwoon to find a new roommate.

It’s a few months, during which time Taekwoon steals food from Hakyeon to save money, before Taekwoon finds a new roommate.

Also during that time, Hakyeon spends less time with Hongbin and Wonsik. Busy with that and his actual work. That when he finds out Wonsik had moved he’s rather shocked. Hongbin says’ he hadn’t moved far, and he really hadn’t, still within the same area, just into a better house. However, he moves just far enough that getting to and from his work is too far, so quits. Which mean’s there isn’t the income to pay for the dance studio.

It’s about that time that Hakyeon and Wonsik start spending less time together. They’re still friends, sure. They text just like Hakyeon does with Hongbin or Taekwoon when he can’t see them. But actual in-person hanging out doesn’t really happen.

When nearing the end of the year he turns twenty, after a year of things being like that, Hakyeon gets promoted. From Janitor to secretary/doorman for the nursing home he works at. The pay isn’t a ton better, sure, but it’s enough that he can spend some of that money to rent out a that dance studio room for a few hours, every once in a while.

Wonsik is too busy and Hongbin too un-interested to join him, though. So he lay’s on the floor by himself for a while when he breaks his arm half-way through the year.

Unable to operate like a normal person in his home, he returns to his aunt and uncles for a few weeks. Which is how he finds out that Hongbin is no longer his cousins baby-sitter. Sanghyuk is a good kid, really. Doesn’t even ask Hakyeon for any help with anything while he’s there.

He does, however, ask him a lot about Hongbin which has Hakyeon really curious and leads to asking Hongbin about it.

“He’s probably curious because I’m avoiding him.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because he’s only fifteen!”

“So where you two years ago, and I was older than you then.”

“Yeah but you weren’t my-”

“Hongbin! You’re soulmates aren’t you?”

“No.”

“...”

“You can prove nothing.”

Hakyeon doesn’t think he’s laughed so much in a long time. Sure he feels bad for Hongbin. Hakyeon is sympathetic enough to know that Hongbin is probably more upset that he was hoping to have a romantic one, than he is that Sanghyuk is his soulmate in anyway.

“You shouldn’t avoid him.” Hakyeon tries to over advice.

“Still going to.”

He tried at least.

Hakyeon is twenty one when he get’s the most panicked message he think’s he’s ever gotten from Taekwoon.

“Help.”

Hakyeon think’s, he must have become his friend’s certified soulmate expert, or something, since Hongbin has started dumping his worries about the topic onto him, and since Taekwoon texts him of all people about the topic. Taekwoon had lost another roommate, and was supposed to meet his new one on the day Hakyeon got the text.

“Oh no is he a serial killer?”

“Soulmate.”

“Oh no.” Hakyeon tries not to laugh too much. He fails, he’s nearly in tears when he gets a response.

“Not helping.”

“Are they hot?”

“Less helping.”

“Are they cute?”

“Stop.”

“Can I come to the wedding?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“How can he not know?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Yeah but I’m deaf!” Hakyeon has to take a full minute to realize that’s what Taekwoon means. “Oh.”

When he doesn’t get a response for a few hours he sends another text. “If I help you tell him can I come to the wedding.”

“No.”

Hakyeon will still pretend like he’s the expert, even if only one person want’s his advice.

He never understood why in shows people why people in shows could so easily go back to how things were after years of basically not knowing each other. It always seemed really ridiculous, like some many thing’s change in that time. People change in that time. Even if the person you remember is still there, they’ve added layers to themselves you didn’t know before. You might not like those new parts.

Hakyeon has to find out Wonsik has gone to college from Hongbin and wonders how long it’s been since he stopped hearing about those kinds of things from Wonsik himself. He wonders if Wonsik has any luck finding his soulmate, if he did would Hakyeon be a good advice giver to him too? He could only hope, maybe then he could call himself an expert.

Never would Hakyeon have expected his hopes of being the soulmate expert would be restored by a highschool student he’d only talked to a few times before, but somehow he found himself being asked by Sanghyuk to talk to his friend about it.

“Sorry, maybe I’m reading your lips wrong, did you just ask me to give someone soulmate advice?” Hakyeon asks, and watches Sanghyuk pout and heave a sigh.

Which he follows up by signing the question again.

“Oh,” Hakyeon mutters. He’s probably too easy to get to do things, he thinks, when he agree’s without any convincing.

“So, what do you want to know?” Hakyeon mouths to Jaehwan, the friend when agreed to help. Sanghyuk had given him some details, like that Jaehwan was deaf and that he needed Hakyeons expert advice (trade mark).

“Any way to know if someone’s your soulmate.” Jaehwan looks hopeful and Hakyeon take a second to think about it. Any sure way? There were people trying to find science behind it, but usually people went on gut instinct.

He asks something about if Jaehwan means besides the obvious method that he know Jaehwan can’t use, in order to stall for time. Until he decides on a way to answer.

“There’s supposed to be some scientific way to figure it out, but it’s not very... Accurate. They’re still figuring it out. But as for proven way’s? Asking.” Hakyeon has to keep himself from laughing at the surprised expression Jaehwan makes. “Didn’t think of that?”

“It hadn’t crossed my mind!”

“And If they aren’t you have an excuse for not being sure, anyway.”

“I can’t believe myself!” The over dramatic sigh he gives has Hakyeon thinking they could be friends.

“So, what’s this person you’re wondering about’s name?”

“Taekwoon,” Jaehwan tells him, looking bashful for the first time in the conversation. “He’s my roommate, now. Since earlier this year.”

Hakyeon nod, changes the topic of conversation, and feels a little like he’s cheating in the while “help Taekwoon tell his soulmate their soulmates” thing when he’s talking to the soulmate. Either way, he think’s he’s earned the soulmate advice expert (trade mark) title through it.

“A kind man named Hakyeon gave him advice.” Taekwoon gives him no context for the text, not that he needs it.

“Your welcome. And I didn’t know when I did.”

“Thanks.”

Hakyeon never really got it. The whole soulmate thing sure did make one of his friends really happy, but the other hadn’t talked to his in years. Hakyeon himself hadn’t found his and, as far as he knew Wonsik hadn’t either. But he hadn’t talked to Wonsik in so long he wonders if he would have even heard about it if he had.

He asks Hongbin for Wonsik’s new number early in the summer of the year he turns twenty three and Hakyeon is sure the way they talk has changed. Maybe because Wonsik isn’t a kid anymore, or just because of the changes that come with time. Either way, when they meet up it’s really odd, like he’s meeting a completely different person.

Hakyeon remembers being young and having dance lessons. He also remember being a teenager and giving Wonsik lessons. He’s pretty sure whenever he thinks of dancing it’s with this view of happier times. Maybe they weren’t though. Because he feels a lot different now.

Like how he actually feels like he’s on equal footing with Wonsik. Maybe it’s because Wonsik is twenty now, a full grown adult, by most standards. Or the fact that he seems much more mature, calmer in a way that probably wouldn’t be all that obvious if there hadn’t been so much time between the last time they saw each other in person.

“So, how are things?” He’s asked before, over text, but seeing Wonsik girn at the questions is completely different.

“Good.” Wonsik leans back. “How about for you?”

“Also good.” Hakyeon laughs. “This conversation feels really forced, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, real questions then, when am I going to get invited to your wedding?” Hakyeon jokes and Wonsik rolls his eyes in a joking way.

“You know, as soon as my soulmate knows I’m their soulmate and agrees to a wedding.”

“No luck in that area either, huh?”

“Well I know who mine is,” Wonsik admits, and Hakyeon tilts his head hoping Wonsik will explain without him asking. “I have since I met... You.”

“What do- oh.” Hakyeon could almost feel Wonsik laughing across from him as he realized. “Oh it’s me.”

“Yep. I sort of figured back then we were probably soulmates of the platonic kind. Since I sure didn’t feel that way and I know you didn’t.”

“Back then, huh?”

“Hey, but on the bright side you’re already invited to my wedding.”

“Don’t make it weird,” Hakyeon jokes and they fall into an easy conversation of a less soulmate-focused nature.

Hakyeon doesn’t know what he feels toward Wonsik, if he’s honest with himself. He barely feels like he knows him, even if they used to be such good friends.

Hakyeon’s feeling might change over time, years later, when they’ve both changed even more and when they know each other much better. When they aren’t just friends who share a singular interest, or young adult’s who barely know each others. He’s not sure what will happen.

But for the time being, Hakyeon figures that’s okay. He doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t know what any of his friends, or even his soulmate, sound like. He didn’t know Wonsik was his soulmate. And He doesn’t know when he’ll finally get invited to someone’s wedding.

He doesn’t really need to know yet. He’ll survive not knowing.

Six hours into the drive Hakyeon all but screamed for Minseok to stop the car.

“What?”

“I swear I saw that person from earlier!”

“That’s not possible. That was four hours ago!”

The kept driving but Hakyeon’s stare out the window as concentrated for the next twenty minutes.

Eight hours into the drive, Minseok suddenly sat up from where he was slouching and stuck his head out the window to look behind them.

“What are you doing?!”

“I swear I saw someone running again!”

“Yeah, was it the same person?” Hakyeon’s bitterness had Minseok reeling back into his seat.

“…it sort of… looked like the same person.”

Nine hours into the dirve, while Minseok had his window down and was resting his eyes before they switched again, a screech echoed out and faded as the drove. Minseok shot up, rolled his window up on instinct, and Hakyeon gripped the steering wheel harshly.

“What the hell?!” Minseok turned to look out his window, despite having passed far from where the screech had come from, only to slam down the lock on his door.

“What?!”

“Is it possible for someone to run and keep up with the car?”

“We’re going seventy miles an hour, so no.”

“Just… keep driving then.”

Ten hours into the drive, when Minseok and Hakyeon we’re supposed to switch place, Minseok begged Hakyeon not to stop the car.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Hakyeon took his eyes off the road, it was a straight away, anyway, and glanced out Minseok’s window. “…that…”

“I told you, something’s running next to us! I’m not just imagining it, right?!”

“That looks like the person I saw earlier,” Hakyeon admitted, turning back to face the road. The didn’t switch places.

Ten and a Half hours into the drive, Hakyeon told Minseok to get some sleep, because he wouldn’t be able to keep driving for another three hours on so little sleep. The both tried to ignore the muffled sounds coming too-clearly from the side of the road.

Eleven hours into the drive, surrounded by trees and woods, they made sure their doors were locked and, without getting out the car, hurriedly switched seats. Once Minseok was in the driver’s seat, and before Hakyeon had gotten into his own, they started moving again.

“If we get arrested you can blame me,” Minseok told him, as Hakyeon tired to get back into the front seat of the car.

“Fine.” Hakyeon, though, pulled Minseoks seatbelt on for him, before he settled into his own seat or put his own on. “Just this once, that’s the least of my concerns.”

Twelve hours into the drive, they hit a roundabout in the middle of nowhere and the sinking feeling that the extra time it took from them was too much settled over them both.

“Hakyeon, what are we even so scared of?” Minseok tried to reason, with himself, that they were probably just seeing things.

“Yeah, what could be out there?” Hakyeon agreed.

The screeching that reached their ears again, and the strange humanness of the sound, was enough to have them both silently agreeing not to stop anyway.

“You know, now that i’ve had time to think about it,” Hakyeon started, as they drove down the longest road in existence- in Hakyeons opinion and no fact. “I think I know what I thought was weird about that figure I saw near the beginning of the drive.”

“What’s that?” Minseok was sort of hoping he wouldn’t get an answer.

“The hand they were trying to wave people down with… Looked broken or something. That or they had too many joints.” Hakyeon tried to sound like he was joking, but it didn’t.

“Weird, I was thinking the figure I saw running, looked like it’s body was bending in too many places too. But we are moving pretty fast. It’s probably our imagination.”

Neither of them thought it was.

Thirteen hours into the drive, when they were nearing their destination, Hakyeon called one of their friends who should have been there.

“I know we have the codes, I just wanted to talk to you.” Hakyeon laughed, but he and Minseok shared a look that wasn’t at all amused. “No, I know I’ll see you in a few minutes. Hey, listen, can you just stay on the phone with me just in case? Because!”

Both he and Minseok jumped at the sound of another screech.

“No! We don’t know either! Please just stay on the phone with us.”

They reached their destination. Got out of their car and into the building as quickly as possible, and gave a sigh of relief that the drive was over.

“Man that drive must have taken a lot out of you, you look terrible,” One of their friends said. “The drive back in a few days will probably be easier though, I’m sure!”

Having a headache, the sun was too much. Vaguely he wondered when someone had moved in across the street, but he hadn’t kept up with who was living where for quite a long time. He groans again as another wave of pain shoots through his pounding head and hopes Taekwoon will be back soon.

He’s pretty sure, when he wakes up and sees a shadow move across his wall, that Taekwoon his home. But, even though he desperately needs water, he doesn’t have the strength to call out to him. Still, Taekwoon would check on him, eventually, right?

Hakyeon wakes a second time, and the shadow walking down his hallway is there again. Somewhere in his fever-ridden mind he thinks that Taekwoons shadow looks shorter than it should be.

He hears the sound of pots dropping and covers his ears. What was Taekwoon doing in the kitchen at- he checks the clock- four in the afternoon. He would have already eaten by now, and Hakyeon was almost sure he wasn’t going to make anything for Hakyeon without checking with him first. He sighed and tried to fall back asleep.

He woke a third time, this time to too-light foot steps and the ringing of his phone. His phone, which was usually on his bed-side table, sounded too far. When Hakyeon reached for it, it wasn’t there, so he forced his eyes open. It really wasn’t there, and the ringing of his phone sounded down the hallway and into his room.

“Taekwoon?” His voice cracked, throat dry, and he forced himself up despite his muscles protests. “What are you doing?”

He gets no response, and if he wasn’t sick this wouldn’t have been all that strange. But he was and he knew he wouldn’t be ignored in this condition. “Hello?”

He hears a voice respond, and for a second he thinks it’s just the fever playing tricks on him, but it doesn’t sound like Taekwoon. Or anyone Hakyeon knows. The voice is too deep and too quiet, any other combination of traits would have made Hakyeon think it really was just the fever, but that didn’t seem right.

He held his breath, heard the ringing of his phone stop, and after a moment, the realization of something being wrong set it. The shadow was too short, too thin. The voice too deep, too quiet and wrong. He saw the shadow, once again, dance across wall again and tried to silently move backwards. The creaking of his bed gives Hakyeon away, and the shadow stops. He can hear his phone being dropped.

Hakyeon holds his breath as the shadow tells him it’s owner is moving closer. The more it does, the more the shape looks familiar in a way he can’t quite place. It stops short of his room, and he sees the shadow wave.

A glance is sent at the window next to him and Hakyeon suddenly finds not knowing someone moved in across the street much more relevant.

Had he even heard any footsteps this whole time? He wonders, when the shadow moves again and it’s silent.

Chocking on his words, Hakyeon tries to push himself out of bed, only to fall to the floor, panicked. He hears the door to his apartment open, watches the shadow stop again, and once he blinks it’s gone.

“Hakyeon, why are you on the floor?” He nearly cries, coughs through his racing heart and dry throat.

“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon was hardly so direct in approaching Hakyeon, that had Hakyeon was surprised enough to jump at the sudden apology.

“Okay?” His voice was strained and Taekwoon frowned and shook his head.

“You’re my friend, I’m sorry I said something stupid.”

“Um…” Hakyeon was relatively confused, about the apology, about Taekwoon out of any of them being the one to say that, about the whole apology happening while Hakyeon was taking lunch. “It’s… okay.”

If he was honest, Taekwoon wasn’t sure his apology, out of anyone’s, helped.

“Hey! Did you know that you’re really great and we all think you’re super handsome?” Subtly wasn’t Jaehwan’s strong suit. Hakyeon frowned, suspiciously, and leaned back in his seat.

“Since when?”

“Since… Uh, Alway’s?” Jaehwan sighed, dropping into the seat next to him. Hakyeon could almost feel the guilt running off Jaehwan in waves. “Sorry, you know I say stupid stuff all the time, right? But we- I really think you’re great, okay?”

Some part of Hakyeon wanted to say that didn’t help, but he felt at least somewhat better from it. But Jaehwan was hardly this serious unless he completely meant what he was saying, so Hakyeon nodded and watched Jaehwan looked relieved. “Okay.”

“Next time I say something dumb you can hit me!” There was a pause where Hakyeon watched in amusement as Jaehwan looked worried. “Please don’t actually hit me.”

“No promises.”

If he was honest, Jaehwan knew was the most at fault in the first place.

Hakyeon was, honestly, just trying to watch TV. The sliding Sanghyuk did across the floor was a bit distracting, especially when he slide directly into a table to the sound of cute music.

“What are you doing?” Hakyeon has to hold back laughter as Sanghyuk groans.

“Why did I listen to him?” Sanghyuk mutters, forcing himself off the floor. “Being…. Cute, or something.”

“Or something?” Hakyeon sits forward and Sanghyuk nods.

“That’s what you usually want, anyway…” He shrugs and Hakyeon has the sudden feeling that this was some sort of apology. By the was Sanghyuk looks frustrated and worried, or the way he could hear mumbling in the distance when the music stops.

“Hyuk,” Hakyeon starts, but isn’t actually sure what to say. Wasn’t he the one who needed an apology?

“I’m sorry!” Sanghyuk all but yells, lowers his head, and mumbles more apologies Hakyeon can’t quite keep up with. “You know we didn’t mean it, right? You’re like, my favourite-”

“Hyuk,” Hakyeon say’s again, firmer this time, and stand’s up. “I get it.”

“But- We really, really didn’t mean it. I know that doesn’t make it okay, and I’m sorry we- I’m sorry I said it. But we really don’t think any of that was true.”

“I… Know.” Hakyeon nods, Sanghyuk doesn’t seem as relieved as he should be.

If he was honest, Sanghyuk knew the original plan wasn’t what was needed to start with.

Wonsik prided himself on being able to understand the others really well, so not realizing they were going to far until they already had, he blamed himself for that. He had said things, as well, and hadn’t realized until Hakyeon’s face dropped how bad it really was.

So he made it personally mission to make sure Hakyeon knew how much they cared and how none of them thought anything bad of him.

That was why Hakyeon came home to Wonsik passed out over the coffee table, plans strewn across the table along with a bunch of take-out containers for Hakyeon’s favourite type. An alarm for five minutes earlier going off.

“Wonsik,” Hakyeon shook him, watching Wonsik blink awake. “Hey, wake up.”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing?”

“You’re back!”

“Yes, I noticed.” Hakyeon glanced at the papers around them and Wonsik looked guilty.

“I’m sorry.”

“I… See that.” Hakyeon frowned, looking over the plans one thing was pretty clear. Wonsik wasn’t expecting forgiveness. Why, Hakyeon wasn’t sure, he felt like a pretty forgiving person. “Go to bed you look exhausted.”

“Huh?” Wonsik blinked, shocked, and after the fifth blink he nodded. “Okay.”

If he was honest, Wonsik knew no amount of plans would exceed just being honest in his apology.

Hongbin wasn’t as good at expressing how sorry he was as some of the other, nor did he have a big plan or the silent clear sincerity. So he was as direct about his apology as possible.

“I’m really sorry about what I said and how I acted about what the others said.” There was a weird rehearsed sound to the words, and Hongbin shook his head. “Why do you sound like that?”

“Talking to yourself, Hongbin?” Hakyeon’s voice startled Hongbin enough to spin around, face-first into the door frame Hakyeon was standing behind. “Oh.”

“No.” Hongbin groaned, but shook his head.

“That’s what it sounded like.” Hakyeon shooks his head.

“Um, how much of that-”

“All of it,” Hakyeon cut Hongbin off, who looked ashamed and frowned.

“Well… I am sorry.”

“…Yeah.” Hakyeon nodded, “I know.”

“Okay.”

If he was honest, Hongbin thought maybe he sounded more nervous than rehearsed.

“Hey Hakyeon did you know we love you?”

“What did you do this time?”

“What make’s you think I did something?” Jaehwan mocked offense while the others dropped down next to Hakyeon on their couch.

“We haven’t done anything… New,” Sanghyuk offered, shrugging.

“Yet.” Taekwoon added when Hakyeon looked suspicious.

“We wont do anything.” Hongbin didn’t sound very sure and Hakyeon redirect his stare to him.

“Don’t make promises Jaehwan can’t keep.” Wonsik ducked away from Jaehwan’s offended stare.

“I’m a model person!”

“No.”

“I have to agree on this one.”

If he was honest, Hakyeon had just wanted to be reminded they didn’t mean it. And, he was well assured of that.

“You know I was trying to watch something.”

“Yeah, probably something boring.”

“A model person, he say’s!”

Subtly, Hakyeon tended to be really caring towards the others. They may joke about him not being serious, but he always was when it came to their health and well beings. So Sanghyuk shouldn’t have been shocked that Hakyeon spent so much time making sure Taekwoon was okay when he came down with a cold. Still, something seemed odd to Sanghyuk.

Hakyeon prided himself on being able to understand and know what the others need. He could tell just by the looks on their faces what was needed. Usually, the only person better at it was Wonsik, but he found himself somehow falling behind. Hakyeon suddenly knowing what was up way more quickly than usual, when it came to Taekwoon. Like he was paying too much attention.

Together, they could piece together the reason behind everything.

Hakyeon being unusually happy, attentive, and quick to realize things would have been harder to understand, if everything wasn’t so clearly focused on Taekwoon.

Together, they could easily see where the subtle changes happened.

Jaehwan could see the way Hakyeon’s face lit up when he was talking to Taekwoon. Hongbin could see Hakyeon directing all his physical attention to Taekwoon. Sanghyuk could see Hakyeon using an extreme amount of effort in taking care of Taekwoon. Wonsik could see Hakyeon being able to understand Taekwoon more than he ever had before.

It didn’t even take putting all their minds together to come to the conclusion of Hakyeon’s feelings for Taekwoon.

His whole body felt like he’d been put inside an oven and smothered in water. Sweat trailed down his skin and he felt weak in every part of his being. Breathing, lifting himself up, even opening his eyes felt like it would take all his energy and he didn’t have any to begin with.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Hakyeon couldn’t make the voice click, but he thought he should have been able to. Something about it though, was so, strange. It didn’t sound right.

“It wasn’t this bad for the rest of us was it?” Another voice that echoed familiarity in his head.

“No, I don’t think so.” A third.

“He looks like he’s in a lot of pain, can’t we help?” The first again.

“I mean, he’s dying.” A fourth.

Dying? He sure felt like it. But as much as he felt like he should trust the familiar voices, something was wrong. Would they really be this calm about him dying?

“Water.” A fifth.

“You think that’ll help?” The third.

“Well, it might help cool him down, that’s not a bad idea.” the second?

The voices started to fade, like they were getting too far away and he couldn’t distinguish them anymore.

And suddenly his face was cold. His breathing suddenly stopped, he couldn’t force himself to breath no matter how hard he tried, and he tried to force himself to move. Too reach for something, someone, anything that could help. He couldn’t breathe why weren’t they helping him?

He finally caught air in his lungs again only to have sharp pain shoot through him and he screamed.

“I can’t listen to this anymore, tell me when he’s better.” One of them said, he couldn’t remember which, just that the noise made his head pound and another pain shot through him.

“One of us should stay with him.”

“I will.”

“Really?”

“Okay.”

There were steps, and he tried to reach that direction but he couldn’t move his arms, couldn’t feel them even, just knew that trying made him hurt more and if he could feel his face he’d imagine it was covered in tears.

Painful moment after painful moment faded into each other until he shut down, couldn’t feel anything. Maybe he really was dying.

“Hakyeon?” They were so quite Hakyeon almost didn’t notice the voice.

“Huh?” He managed something, struggling through the numbness in every part of him. How long had passed? He felt like he was waking up from a sleep he couldn’t remember overtaking him.

“...Hand.” He couldn’t hear what was being said to him, not in it’s entirety, but he tried to move his hand. He tried, and tried until he felt like it had worked. He kept trying, until he could feel his finger tapping against something, it felt like flesh, but he still felt somewhat numb in his hand, so he couldn’t be sure.

“Other hand?” The voice asked him and he complied, trying to move the other hand. Within a few minutes he was tapping his other hand against something metal, probably. But even that had exhausted him.

He felt like he’d run a marathon by just tapping his fingers against where they were sitting. How much energy would moving the rest of himself take?

“’M tired.” He managed to slur through his numb mouth.

“Sleep.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

Hakyeon woke again, this time he was sure he was awake when he managed to lift heavy eye-lid and see the white of the room around him. He felt... lighter. Like something was very wrong, but now he could move. He thought that couldn’t be a bad thing, yet felt unsettled by it none the less.

He lifted a hand in front of his face and was even more unsettled by looking at it. He looked so... Sick. All bones, his skin seemed to be barely keeping his suddenly too-slender hand and even then, his skin itself was, well, wrong. Too pale to be his own and where it wasn’t looking like the colour had drained from him it was bruised.

“What happened to me?”

“Hakyeon?” He heard a shift to his side and turned to face the voice and noise. Even if the voice sounded off, as everything had since he felt like he was dying, the face he recognized. Taekwoon.

“Yeah?” Taekwoon looked oddly shocked for a second, before he visibly sighed and stepped forward to where Hakyeon was.

“You can move?”

“Somewhat. What happened? I feel like I was hit by a truck!” That wasn’t entirely true, he had, yes, but now he just felt sore where he could feel at all.

“You Died.”

“Don’t say that so plainly! What do you mean I died?!” His throat hurt, he wondered if it was from the earlier screaming or something else, but he continued anyway. “I feel pretty alive!”

“That’s good,” Taekwoon nodded and Hakyeon wondered why he was acting like this wasn’t strange. “What do you remember?”

“What? I remember feeling like shit and then waking up here!” Taekwoon frowned at that and Hakyeon wondered suddenly if he was forgetting something.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“...I’ll get Hyuk, he’ll explain.”

“Hey wait a second! You can’t just say I’m dead, apologize and then leave!”

“...But I am.”

“Well it sounds like someone finally woke up!” Hakyeon forced himself up slightly on his arms, feeling the pain of them against whatever he was lying on- he hadn’t bothered to look but it felt cold- to see Sanghyuk, grinning nervously from a doorway in the all-white-room.

“Yeah.” Hakyeon nodded, and before he could ask anything, Taekwoon had left the room and Hyuk was at his side instead. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“...Welcome to immortality!”

“What?!”

“You were dying! We had to do something right, and like three of us are some sort of immortal so we figured it out!”

“What do you mean three? What do you mean some kind? Immortal? Dying?!”

“That truck hit you pretty hard.”

“...I actually go hit by a truck?”

“Yep.”

“...What about the rest?” Hakyeon watched Sanghyuk avoid his gaze and mumbled something to himself. “Hyuk?”

“Well technically all of are. But Hongbin and Taekwoon weren’t human to start with so they don’t count.”

“What.”

“Demon and Angel, respectively.”

“That seems...”

“Backwards, right? Anyway, so then I’m a vampire, Wonsik is basically a zombie, and Jaehwan died once and then woke up later fine. He doesn’t know what happened ‘apparently’ so there you have it.”

“I’m not any less confused.”

“You’ll get used to it! It only took me like, 40 years to!”

“...How old are you?”

“....Anyway-”

“Hyuk-”

“Hongbin used his demon powers to make you immortal! All it cost was my mortal soul.”

“But you just said you weren’t mortal!”

“Exactly!”

“What?!”

“Anyway you should get some rest, you’re still recovering.”

“From... Dying?”

“Yeah.”

“....Okay.”