#pg rating

It’s raining when Yoongi leaves the convenience store. The warmth of his coffee does nothing to ease the cold of the rain, as he steps outside. Briefly he wonders if he should just run back to his apartment from here, but he really doesn’t have time to get sick. Yoongi pulls his jacket tighter around him, and glances back inside. The cashier- a young woman with the unfortunate luck to have the word disappointing carved across her cheek- gives him a sympathetic, if nervous, smile. In return, he offers a halfhearted smile, and turns back to the sidewalk, watching the rain for a moment. With a sigh, he resigns himself to running, and pulls his hood up in the hopes it will provide extra protection.

“Yoongi?” The voice- familiar and quiet- stops him. To his left stands Park Jimin, who goes to the college just a few blocks south of where Yoongi- during his days- works. As well as who shares a mutual friend- one Jung Hoseok- with Yoongi.

“Oh, hey.” Yoongi glances, briefly, at the umbrella the other holds, before looking back to Jimin’s face.

“It’s raining.”

“I noticed.”

“We’re you planing to run in it?”

“Yep.”

“Would you… like to walk with me?” Jimin’s question confuses Yoongi for just a moment, before he remembers that they also live in the same apartment building. Yoongi pauses, considering this, then nods.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, give me a second? I was supposed to buy some stuff before getting home.” With that, Jimin shoves the umbrella into Yoongi’s hands, and rushes inside. For a moment, Yoongi thinks about how easy it would be to just go on his own, since he has the umbrella, before pushing that thought aside. That would be more than mean, and he can stand to wait a few minutes.

When Jimin returns, he’s holding a bag filled with at least six cold coffee bottles, and is holding a slushee. Yoongi raises an eyebrow at this, but Jimin shrugs, sipping it.

“Roommate.”

“Ah.”

They head back, together, and separate when they reach the building.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. See you later!”

 There are very few people who are willing to risk themselves, in exchange for fame. In a world where one word said with enough venom, or one phrase that hurts you enough, can etch itself over your skin permanently, it’s a big risk. There are people who become famous, only to have someone who claims to be their fans scream something hurtful at them just to know that their words are scars on that persons skin. There are people who want to ruin them, and do the same. There are those who believe their comments will never reach them, but that somehow get back through one of dozens of sites. There are those who try to ruin someone before they reach fame, and those who throw insults at each other to entertain people.

It’s cruel, and it’s not everyone, but it’s a large enough threat that many fear trying. Those who do either being confident enough not to get hurt, or are able to hide their scars easily. Or, in some rare cases, those who don’t try to hide them, despite any criticism.

Someone who makes music without showing his face, and who preforms only in small venues populated by people with the same wants- dreams, goals, careers- as him, Min Yoongi both does and doesn’t want to rise into that. Fears it, because of the words already there, yet desperately holds onto a dream that a young him had, before the cruelty of the world was revealed to him.

For now, no matter what he wants, he keeps doing what he has been, and working to make up for what his dreams can’t do.

 It’s still raining early the next day, when he wakes. He doesn’t work, today, if only because his boss got tired of seeing him every day for the past month. Yoongi takes this chance to listen back to the newest track he’s created. The mixing he “finished” the day before, while he may have been far too tired to properly judge it, needs some work, so he resigns himself to that task, for the morning.

By afternoon he’s sure he’s listened to his own voice far too much, and that he can no longer be trusted to be the judge of it.

So he sends the most current version of it to two of his friends- who he trusts to give honest thoughts- and leaves deciding he should probably eat.

It could be quite a while before he hears back from them; Namjoon and Hoseok. Namjoon is in a different timezone, and is halfway to finishing a manuscript he’s been invested in for the past few months. Meanwhile Hoseok is knee deep in internships and, between that, his personal ventures into the career he actually wants.

To his surprise, Yoongi receives an email from Hoseok only four hours later, while he’s taken to writing down whatever comes into his mind; writing thoughts for future reference. So he sits up, and grabs his computer, reading the email.

 Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. A month before that, they were dating.

Yoongi knows he’s responsible for at least one of Hoseok’s scars, and he can’t do anything about that fact. Neither of them can, or could have. It was something that had to be said, that they both knew was going to be, eventually. An inevitability that they couldn’t avoid. One of them would be hurt.

“It’s okay.” Hoseok had taken Yoongi’s hands, and smiled, despite the clear fear there. Yoongi hesitated, frowned, refused to say what he knew would hurt Hoseok. What he knew would carve a fresh scar into his skin. It’s surprising, to hear Hoseok talk gravely, but he speaks with a finality that Yoongi can’t manage. “I already know, but neither of us will feel better leaving it unsaid.”

“I don’t- I’m not in love with you.”

“I know.”

Hoseok left, that day. The only evidence that Yoongi was right, that the words scared, is his slight wince when Yoongi said it. Yet, he doesn’t say anything hurtful back. Doesn’t try to pay Yoongi back for them. Is clear enough in what was happening, to know that Yoongi tried to make the words untrue. Tried to feel what he knew Hoseok did. But it hadn’t worked. In the end he didn’t, and it wasn’t doing either of them any good.

So Hoseok leaves with the words, “not in love with you,” and Yoongi finds the words, “I know,” trailing over his stomach the next time he looks.

Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. Four months after that, after everything is over, Yoongi finds Hoseok sitting outside a convince store, leaned over a warming bowl of noodles. Yoongi stares, and meets Hoseok’s gaze when he looks up. Hoseok offers a smile, surprisingly warm, and Yoongi finds himself dropping down next to the other.

When it was over, when Yoongi was far away from Hoseok’s feelings for him, he had time to process. Time the realize that, “not in love,” wasn’t always the case. That, once, at the beginning and middle, he had been in love with Hoseok, he thinks. That despite losing that, there had been a time where it was true.

“You know, I think…” Yoongi gazes at the table, frowning. “Even if I didn’t, at the end, I think at one point- I think I loved you.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok nods, turns his gaze away. “I loved you, too.”

Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. One year ago, Hoseok sent Yoongi a picture of a dog, after barely speaking for months, and Yoongi thought, maybe they’d be okay.

 Today, Yoongi and Hoseok are friends. Hoseok sends Yoongi an email, telling him that he liked the song, but that he’s not an expert on music production. Something felt a bit off, but he isn’t sure what, and tells Yoongi that Namjoon will probably have a better insight into that. Otherwise, he really liked the song, and says he, “wasn’t prepared to cry, so thanks,” at the end of his email. Yoongi replies, thanking him.

Hoseok responds with a small dismissal of this thanks, saying it wasn’t a big deal, and then a P.S. That says,“you should buy an umbrella.”

The next day, Yoongi gets ready for work while thinking that Hoseok is right. The rain has yet to let up, and he breathes a sigh before he sets out for work. One more glance is sent at his window, before he closes his door and stuffs his keys into his pockets. Just as he takes a step, he kicks something, and looks down to find a dark, red umbrella sitting next to his door. It’s almost certainly Jimin’s, and he picks it up with a frown on his face.

There’s a note tied to it. “I got a new one and Hoseok said you didn’t have one, so you can have this if you want? Don’t get sick!”

The day after, he finally gets a reply from Namjoon that simply tells him the song is good, but Yoongi’s voice is too low in the mix. Yoongi spends the night making adjustments with that, until he thinks it’s perfect, and then adds the song onto a blank video with the song title before posting it. He wont- despite always wanting to- check the comments. He knows better, and that’s why he has mods. To make sure that by the time he does look at the comments, they’re less likely to be filled with possibly scar-worthy words. Leaves genuine criticism, opinions- because he has to deal with those eventually- but they get rid of anything blatantly hateful.

Then he finds the clock reading approximately ass o’ clock in the morning- 4am- and knowing he has to work two hours later. With a sigh, he drags himself to bed- any rest is better than none- and sets an alarm. When he wakes, the next day, the rain has finally let up. When he goes to leave, he takes a moment of consideration, before grabbing the umbrella from where he left it beside the door, and taking it with him, just in case.

 That Sunday, two things happen. Yoongi decides enough time has passed for his mods to make it safe for him to look at his comments, and he get’s a text from Namjoon. He deals with the former, first, since he expects Namjoon will have texted him, and then gone to do something else right away, anyway.

This is so sad?

i wanna kno who this is about

ugh ‘I think I loved you’ how dare you do this to me

This makes me miss someone ive never even met ha

His voice !!!

Yoongi scrolls through the comments, the video playing the song they’re about, until he has a good idea of the general consensus. Which is, in short, that it was sad and that they liked it.

With that- for now- out of the way, Yoongi checks Namjoon’s message. It’s a picture, actually, and Yoongi isn’t sure what he’s looking at, at first. It’s a tattooed arm, that much is obvious, but he isn’t sure why Namjoon would send it to him. The bird is pretty, but it takes him a minute to realize that it’s Namjoon’s arm. The one that is scarred with the word, fake. But that word is nearly unnoticeable, under the detailed tattoo.

“When’d you do that?”

“Mostly last month but it was finished a few days ago.”

 When Yoongi is sixteen, he meets this kid named Namjoon in passing. The latter was visiting family in the town Yoongi lived in, and they met outside a CD shop. Yoongi was going to apply for some part time work, while Namjoon was just looking at the selection. This kind of meeting would be something they would both forget, something they would never think about.

When Yoongi is twenty, he meets this guy named Namjoon in passing. Yoongi is working at this store, and Namjoon is buying an album. They somehow get to talking, and eventually end up exchanging information, even though that’s unusual considering Yoongi is working. Later, months later, they talk about hometowns and spiral into a conversation that reveals their having met in passing before.

When Yoongi is twenty, he makes friends with Namjoon, and this leads, eventually, to a discussion about scars. It’s hard to miss, especially when Namjoon has never made a huge effort to hide it, but Namjoon has the word fake scrawled over this right arm. Yoongi makes a bigger effort to hide his, but it’s still not hard to notice. Yoongi has the word fucker scrawled across his left forearm. They take a weird solace in knowing these scars are both the result of broken friendships. In the fact that they aren’t alone in this.

 Yoongi looks down at his own arm, and wonders if he should do something similar. But, no, he doesn’t want to. As terrible as it is, he can’t bring himself to hide it, not from himself at least.

“It’s nice. Planning more?”

“Eventually.”

 It’s a Thursday evening, raining yet again, when Yoongi begins his journey home under the cover of the umbrella given to him by Jimin. It’s a Thursday evening, and Jimin runs past him- likely returning from university- bag held over his head.

“Jimin!” Jimin stumbles at that, spins around frantic, and stops. Then, after a brief pause, rushes over to Yoongi, hiding under the cover of the umbrella that was once his.

“Hey.”

“I though you had a new one.”

“I forgot it.” Jimin huffs, pushing his wet hair out of his face.

“Well, you in a rush?”

“Not really, now that I’m out of the rain.” Jimin grins, and Yoongi just nods. They make their way back together again, idle conversation breaking up their relative silence, and separate once back to their apartments, again.

The next morning, Yoongi checks the weather to see it’s probably going to rain, again. He isn’t sure why he’s doing it, really, but he tapes a note to Jimin’s- and his roommate’s, technically- apartment door frame- so he can’t miss it- that reminds Jimin to take an umbrella.

Later, that night, when Yoongi returns home after working overtime, he finds a thank you in the form of a note slid under his door.

 There are a number of people, in the world, who’s scars will never be visible. Who hide them under clothes or makeup- or who don’t have to make much of an effort to hide them- so nobody will ever know. Yoongi doesn’t have to make much of an effort to hide his, a lot of the time. They’re all in easily covered places. His arms, sometimes, are a problem when it’s too warm, but otherwise he doesn’t have much trouble. Sometimes he wonders about strangers. If they’re like him, or if they just don’t have a lot, or, or, or.

Yoongi has never so much caught a glimpse of Jimin’s scars. It’s not as if he’s been looking for them, specifically, but… he wonders. If the man who gave him an umbrella, and has always seemed generally nice, and who’s friends with Hoseok- which basically guarantees someone isn’t awful- could possibly have that many scars. If many people could have said things worth scarring, to him.

If he would be hurt by the words, in the first place.

Yoongi admittedly doesn’t have that many scars. No more than fifteen, if he counts the long faded ones that are barely visible from his childhood. The ones that remain, visible and obvious and red, are more recent. Sometimes, when someone looks at him for a second too long, he worries. Worries that they’re wondering, too, or maybe that they know. It’s not rational, he knows that, but he can’t help but wonder.

What would actually happen, if someone saw them? Logically he knows the answer is nothing, but…

Yoongi runs into Jimin, as he’s on his way up to his apartment, and Jimin is leaving, and he wonders. Wonders about Jimin’s scars, wonders if the other wonders about his.

“Oh, hey, Yoongi.”

“Hey.”

“Thanks again for the reminder about the umbrella, it rained again on my way home.”

“No problem.”

But their conversations are so normal. Scars are never addressed.

So maybe it’s just Yoongi that wonders.

 The long-running streak of rain finally comes to an end, on a Tuesday morning. Yoongi works in a small coffee shop just off of the nearby college campus. Technically Yoongi was a student there not long ago, but left because it felt like a waste. When he was working towards something he didn’t even want to do. His family hadn’t been happy, the word disappointing on his chest evidence of this.

Someone stumbles into the shop, seemingly losing to the weight of their bag, before looking up at Yoongi and- oh. It’s Jimin, he realizes when he sees the other’s face. Jimin is shortly followed by another of Yoongi’s neighbors- and Jimin’s roommate- Taehyung. While the later laughs at Jimin’s stumbling, and makes his way to one of the many table, Jimin shoots him a glare and approaches the counter. Yoongi offers a smile, as he’s supposed to.

“Hey, Yoongi, I forgot you worked here.”

“Yep. What do you want?”

Jimin recites his- and presumably Taehyung’s- order, motioning with his hands. Yoongi never realized before, but Jimin’s wrists have always been converted in some way. It never occurred to him why, until he notices the small, red, scar on his right arm. Pathetic. Yoongi forces himself to focus on Jimin’s order, rather than the word, and then recites it back, to be sure it’s right.

“That’s all?”

“Yep!”

Yoongi charges the other, and gives the order to another of the shops workers to get started on. When Jimin gets the drinks, and goes to sit with Taehyung, Yoongi feels bad.

Yoongi always wonders about others scars, but whenever he sees them, he feels bad. Feels like it’s an invasion of privacy that he can’t take back. Because these are words that hurt that person so badly they became physical wounds. Who was he to look at those, without permission?

 The first time Yoongi had seen someone else’s scar- that wasn’t a family member- they belonged to Seokjin, his and Namjoon’s mutual friend. At the time, shortly before Yoongi dropped out of college, Seokjin had been his roommate, which made hiding their scars from each other nearly impossible. There wasn’t enough space or privacy. Yoongi was nineteen at the time- hadn’t met Namjoon or Hoseok, yet- and had felt sick to his stomach when he realized what he’d done.

But Seokjin hadn’t seemed bothered. Said, simply, that he didn’t care. That the words didn’t mean anything, because now that they were on his skin, what else could they do to him?

Yoongi didn’t get it. His own scars hurt to look at, still. Filled his chest with anxiety at the realization that someone else could do that to him, and he could do nothing to stop it.

Yoongi wonders, now, what Jimin feels about his scars. What they mean to him.

Because Yoongi knows what his own mean to him. And they’re awful. It’s awful. He hates, deeply, every one of them.

Or, maybe, he just hates himself for believing the insults. Or himself for letting the ones that weren’t, be said.

 So, Yoongi and Jimin have this one conversation. Run into each other, again as they’re both on their way home, and have a short conversation that sticks in Yoongi’s mind.

“You ever worry that if someone knew your- uh- words, that they’d try to use them to hurt you more?”

“Huh?” Yoongi blinks, surprised, before nodding. “Yeah.”

“I lost my scar-covering band, and went through today, and nothing happened.” Jimin frowns. “So why am I still worried?”

“Just because nothing’s gone wrong- or even if you know nothing will- doesn’t mean you’re gonna stop worrying.”

“Sucks, though.”

“Yeah.”

It sticks with Yoongi, for two reasons. One is that Jimin has the same worries as him. Somehow that makes things easier. Makes him feel better. Because it isn’t just him. The second is his own words. He isn’t sure where they came from, in his mind, but he spoke without really thinking about it.

Just because you know you shouldn’t, doesn’t mean you wont worry.

And just because you know they shouldn’t matter, doesn’t mean your scars will stop hurting.

 Two weeks later, Jimin and Yoongi meet in that convenience store. The cashier looks unhappy, when the two start talking- likely too used to groups of people being noisy and inconsiderate of her time- but Yoongi tries to ignore that. He knows they aren’t going to cause her problems.

“Hey can I ask you for something?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to Yoongi.

“Depends?”

“I need music recommendations. For- uh- dance routines? Hoseok’s gonna be back in town, this summer, and we wanna do something together, but haven’t figured out what song to use.”

“Oh, sure. I can send some recommendations to him, if you want?”

“You could just give them to me?” Jimin frowns at him. “Oh, wait, you don’t have my number, huh?”

“No?”

“Okay, give me your phone then.”

 Yoongi and Jimin talk more. It’s a slow thing, that happens. One day, they barely knew each other, and the next they were talking almost every day. In passing, mostly, with the rain gone, but talking none the less. Within a year, the two have become friends.

And the rain is back.

 Yoongi is on his way back from work, as the rain pours down. It’s windy, too, and his umbrella is struggling. Still, it holds up. Then, he hears Jimin’s voice.

“Yoongi, hold up!” The other runs to him, before Yoongi can fully turn to face him. Jimin forces his way under Yoongi’s umbrella, gasping for breath after running.

“Did you somehow forget your umbrella, again?” Yoongi jokes, only for Jimin to raise the remains of his umbrella in front of them.

“Nope. It just turned out the new one was garbage.”

“New,” Yoongi repeats the word. “It’s been a year.”

“And I barely used it!”

“Fair enough.” Yoongi shrugs. “So you want to walk together, I take it?”

“Yep, that okay?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks!” Jimin’s grin is startlingly warm. Yoongi’s chest hurts, and he isn’t sure if it’s because of Jimin, himself, or because he reminds Yoongi of something else. Of the kind of smile he was scared of getting rid of, once.

 Three years ago, Yoongi and Hoseok weren’t friends. Two years ago, they became friends again. Yoongi hesitates, after everything, to ask Hoseok of all people, but he does. Sends Hoseok a short message, to ask a simple question.

How did you know you were in love?

It’s not as if Yoongi thinks he is, suddenly. As if a friendship of idle conversations has caused that. But he doesn’t remember what he felt, back when he loved Hoseok. Doesn’t remember what it felt like, before he fell out of love. His memory is clouded with anger at himself for hurting someone, even if they both knew he had no choice.

I couldn’t really tell you, sorry. Hoseok’s response doesn’t help Yoongi any.

 “You know,” Jimin starts, one day. They sit just outside their apartment building, during a break in the rain. There’s a bus, that comes in a few minutes, that Jimin has to catch, and Yoongi just doesn’t have anything to do at the moment. “Sometimes I wonder what I would have done, if I was born- like- seventy years earlier.”

“Why then?”

“That was before the whole words-causing-scars things started, you know? My grandma was born just a few months before it started, and has none.”

“Oh.” Yoongi nods. He was sure he learned about that, in school, but it had never really registered to him. He was so used to how things were, that a society devoid of it seemed wrong, somehow. Was it better? Or was not being able to physically display the effects of ones words worse?

“Don’t you wonder?”

Yoongi has wondered about a lot of things, but that wasn’t one. “I guess not? I don’t know. I sure do, now that you’ve mentioned it.”

Jimin nods, frowning. “I wonder if it would have made me happier, or not.”

“I doubt the words would hurt less, just because you don’t have to look at them.” Yoongi never looks at most of his words. Some he couldn’t avoid, but he never looks in a mirror, to avoid words like I know. That didn’t stop them from hurting.

“Maybe not.”

 So Yoongi doesn’t think he’s in love with Jimin. Not yet, at least, but the other takes more and more space up, in his life, over time. So, he does what he usually does when things take up too much of his life’s space. Writes about it. Writes about Jimin. It turns, too quickly, into a song.

He hesitates to send to to Hoseok, but knows the other will complain if he finds out Yoongi only sent it to Namjoon. When he hears back from both of them, he gets two very different responses. Namjoon’s, “it’s nice, different from your usual though,” is expected. As is Hoseoks, “somebody has a crush~” though he wishes it wasn’t.

What isn’t expected, is the response after he posts it. Not from most people, their responses are what he expects. But from Jimin. Who knocks on his door, mid afternoon on a Saturday, nearly bouncing where he stands when Yoongi opens the door.

“Jimin?”

“Your new song was really good!”

“Uh- oh. Thank you? You- wait- you heard it?!”

“Uh, yeah? Wait did you not know I listen to them? Hoseok told me about your music a long time ago. Why do you think I went to you for music recommendations?”

“Oh.” Oh, Yoongi thinks, that’s unfortunate.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask a favour about it!”

“What- uh- what’s that?”

“Let me make a routine to it.”

“Like… dance?”

“Yes?”

“You’re asking my permission?”

“Uh, yeah?” Jimin tilts his head, frowning. Unfortunately, it’s cute. “You’re not like a big, record-signed artist, so I’d feel weird not asking you about it. Especially if I film the routine and post it, you know?”

“Right, okay. Sure, have fun?” Yoongi really just wants this conversation to end, honestly. Really would prefer not to talk to Jimin about the song that also happened to be about Jimin. “You know you could have texted me to ask?”

“Oh, yeah, but I was on my way out anyway- oh shit, I have to go.” Realization forms on Jimin’s face, and he’s rushing off before Yoongi can properly respond. “I’ll see you later!”

 So Yoongi’s face isn’t really out there, publicly. His profiles are all icons, or specifically edited pictures to hide his face. His main avatar is a picture of him, yes, but with his face hidden behind his left arm, and the word fucker censored, but visible. Multiple people have asked if it was real, but he’s never answered that question.

When Jimin asks Yoongi if he wants to post the video of Jimin’s routine on his account, too, Yoongi has a feeling someone is going to ask about that. He’s never put his own face on his videos, and nobody else’s either. So he hesitates to change that.

Eventually, though, he decides to do just that. Jimin’s face becomes the first, and only, one on his channel. He asks his mods to be extra strict about the comments, on it, because of that.

Unfortunately for Yoongi: with any harmful words eliminated the comments that remain are still thing’s Yoongi doesn’t find he likes to read. Though he agree’s with a lot of them, there’s an odd weight in his chest as he reads them. Questions- mostly jokes- about if Jimin is the person the song is about. Comments about Jimin himself- positive, if a bit too much in some cases- that Yoongi both agrees with and doesn’t want to read. A few comments of people who recognized Jimin, immediately, and fewer still that didn’t read the description- or the title card, for that matter- who ask if Jimin is Yoongi.

They aren’t bad. They shouldn’t bother him.

Yoongi messages a link to his version of the video to Jimin. Says, “I think my commentators like you more than me,” and tries to tell himself that’s all there is to it.

Jimin responds, “you should see the comments on my post of it,” and gives Yoongi a link to that. Which leads Yoongi to seeing more of the comments that bothered him on his own upload, as well as a few about his song, from people who hadn’t heard it already. And, more unfortunately, means Yoongi now has access to- knows of- Jimin’s own channel.

Which leads Yoongi to watching nearly every one of Jimin’s videos over the course of the next two days.

He’s not proud.

 It’s a day of sun, in between their current season of rain, one Sunday when Yoongi has to work. The work day drags on, especially with the ever-present thought reminding him he needs to go shopping, today. Has gone far too many days without proper food in his house, for someone with a job, and who will have enough for his next rent payment, even after buying food.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity- the low number of customers leaving him bored more than stressed- Yoongi’s shift ends, and he makes his way to the store. Despite being- in name- a grocery store, Yoongi find a stand selling umbrellas, right near the cash registers. Ignores them- he has an umbrella, already- and returns to his shopping.

Then, as he gets everything he needs, he finds himself reaching for his phone. Sending a message that, generally, isn’t a big deal. “Did you ever replace your umbrella?”

“no i havent had the chance :(“

So Yoongi happens to pick up an umbrella, on his way to the register. Happens to buy it, and bring it home. And when he’s finished putting his groceries away, he picks up the new umbrella- it seems about as sturdy as his current one- and makes his way out of his apartment. Makes his way to the door of his neighbor apartment, and knocks for what he thinks might be the first time.

Jimin opens the door, looking as surprised by this as Yoongi feels with himself. Then, after a pause, Yoongi holds out the umbrella, not looking directly at Jimin. “I owed you, for mine.”

“Oh.” Jimin takes it, surprise evident in his voice. Probably on his face, too, were Yoongi to look. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

 It’s raining when Yoongi leave the convenience store. The warmth from his coffee does nothing to ease the cold of the rain, as he steps outside. He fumbles to open his umbrella, clumsily, and looks back inside to see the cashier- a young woman cursed with the words disappointing and boring carved across her cheek- trying not to laugh at him. He looks away, hiding under the umbrella. The red of the umbrella is faded, slightly, but it still blocks the rain- and the remaining light of evening- from him just fine. Yoongi holds his coffee closer to his chest, and moves to start his walk home.

“Yoongi!” And he stops. Turns to see Jimin run to meet him, mint green shading him from his own umbrella.

“Oh, Jimin.” Yoongi’s tone remains neutral, despite the vague feeling of nostalgia in his mind. It’s not been nearly long enough to be feeling nostalgic. Only a year. It’s only been a year.

“It’s raining again.”

“I noticed.” Yoongi offers a smile, then looks away from Jimin, when the other returns it. “When is it not?”

“Summer?”

“You got me there.” Yoongi looks back, Jimin is still smiling, his heart twists. “Heading home?”

“After a quick stop.” Jimin motions into the store. “Would you… like to walk with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi says, without thinking. Jimin grins, folds his umbrella, and rushes inside. It’s only a minute, before he’s rejoining Yoongi outside. He returns with a bag of bottled coffee.

“Roommate,” Jimin offers as explanation.

“Of course.”

They head back, together. Make their way upstairs, to their floor, together. Stop outside Yoongi’s door to say bye to each other.

 Before Yoongi had met Jimin- before Yoongi had met Namjoon, or Seokjin, or Hoseok- Yoongi was gifted thirteen scars. Had yet to have I know or disappointing carved into his skin. What he did have was Nobody. Etched onto his chest is curved writing- handwriting- so much like the writing of the person who gave it to him. Seeing it, alone, Yoongi thinks people would misunderstand. Assume it meant- assume it hurt because of- something else.

“You’re such an asshole. Nobody is ever going to love you.” Given to him by the first person he’d ever thought he loved.

Yoongi doesn’t remember what they felt like. What being in love with them felt like. It was different, distinctly, from what he thinks he felt for Hoseok. But he doesn’t remember how he felt then, either. Knows he loved, but not what they felt like.

Nobody, from the person who would never love him. I know, from the person he couldn’t love back.

 It’s too obvious, the title. Rainy Season. Too obvious, the words. If I was someone else, could you love me. Would you know I loved you.

It’s too obvious. Yoongi doesn’t publish it, though he gets as far as uploading the video. Stares at the make public button until his eyes hurt, and closes the window. It’s far too obvious. Jimin hadn’t realized, after the first song, but surely he couldn’t miss the obvious if he heard this one.

It’s too obvious, so he doesn’t post it. Doesn’t send it too Namjoon, and certainly not Hoseok.

 “I wonder if it would have made me happier, or not.” Jimin had said. If not having scars from the words- or living in that world, where no one did- would have made him happier. They still would have hurt, but would it have changed something, not having them? Not knowing they were there, carved into his skin.

Yoongi had said they’d probably still hurt, even if they weren’t scars. He doesn’t look at his, after all, but they still hurt. Knowing they’re there, still hurts, but maybe they’d hurt less if they weren’t there at all. Yoongi somehow doubts it.

“Are any of your words still…fresh?” Yoongi asks, one day. They’re walking back, again, together. He doesn’t know how else to phrase it. The scars fade, the less you think about them. Fade into slight marks, the less they hurt. The more they mean to you- the more they hurt, the more you believe them- the more they look recent. Red, raw, like they were freshly carved.

Jimin stares at Yoongi, wide-eyed, and hesitates to answer. The longer the silence, the more Yoongi regrets the question. Moves to say Jimin doesn’t have to answer, when Jimin responds. “All of them.”

All of them. From childhood, until now. All of them. Yoongi slows to a stop. Most of his scars have faded. Most of his scars he can ignore, if he doesn’t look at them. “All of them?”

“Yeah?”

“How…many is that?” It’s too personal a question. Yoongi shakes his head, before Jimin can answer. “No- sorry- that’s not any of my business.”

Jimin nods, and they return to a walk. It isn’t until they’re on their floor, that Jimin speaks again. Just as Yoongi opens his door. “Thirty.”

“What?” Yoongi spins, quickly, and Jimin gives him a weak smile.

“I have thirty.”

Jimin returns to his apartment, while Yoongi stares. Unable to move, unable to breathe. Thirty. Yoongi has fifteen, and Jimin- sweet, talented, nice, genuine Jimin- has thirty.

It isn’t fair. The world, life, the way scars work. How true they are, who said them, how much they’re deserved- none of it matters. The scars are based on how you perceive the words. How you feel about them. How you’re hurt by them.

So people like Jimin have thirty and people like Yoongi have fifteen.

Yoongi repeats this sentiment later, muttered, not really expecting Jimin to have anything to say about it.

“But you don’t deserve yours, either.” And it’s so simple, the statement. Breaks Yoongi from his thoughts of the world being unfair for a moment, as shock hits him horribly.

“What?”

“You don’t deserve your, either.” Repeated, with more force, the words make Yoongi’s chest hurt. Because he doesn’t know if he believes them- doesn’t know if he can- but, yet, he easily believed the ones carved into his skin.

“Oh.” Yoongi leans into him, when Jimin wraps an arm around his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“I’m just being honest.”

 Yoongi posts the un-posted song that evening. Doesn’t read the comments, even a week later, and doesn’t read his texts, either. Leaves early for work, returns late, to avoid facing Jimin.

 Yoongi can’t avoid Jimin forever. They have mutual friends, live in the same apartment complex, and know each other’s schedules too well.

Jimin is sitting outside his apartment, when he returns home. Yoongi can’t turn around and leave, since Jimin sees him, so he approaches. Sits next to Jimin, outside Yoongi’s apartment, and breathes a sigh. Finally, he speaks, softly, “Hey, Jimin.”

“Hey, Yoongi.”

“What’s up?” He can’t muster false casualness, so Yoongi’s words hold all the anxiety he feels. Jimin hums, lightly.

“I heard your song.”

“Figured.”

“It’s lovely. Kind like the last one? Not really your usual, but nice.”

“Thank you.”

“You… can just be you.”

“Huh?” Finally, Yoongi faces Jimin. Jimin, who smiles, stands, and offers Yoongi his hand. Pulls Yoongi to his feet, as Yoongi struggles to process the words.

“You can be you, and I’ll understand.” Jimin pauses, looking away. His own embarrassment is enough to make Yoongi less aware of his own. “And I’ll- and I can- you can be you, and I’ll love you.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t- uh- horribly misunderstand, did I?”

“No- no you- that’s- you got it.”

 Besides comments questioning Yoongi recent change in lyrics, most of the comments are positive. Yoongi doesn’t look through them as much as he usually does, before he finally reads his texts. They… are about what he expects, too. Support mixed with a slight amount of teasing. Which becomes a lot more, when he tells them about what’s happened since he posted the song.

 It’s raining, as Yoongi leave the convenience store. The rain is supposed to let up, but at the moment it gives no signs of stopping. It’s cold- cold enough the hot coffee in his hands doesn’t help much- as he waits outside of the store, umbrella at his side, as he stands under to the awning. Yoongi pulls his jacket tighter around him, and turns in the direction he knows Jimin will arrive from.

A few minutes later than usual, Jimin jogs up to the store, closing his umbrella as he steps under the awning. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Yoongi greets, in return.

“Sorry I had to talk to my professor.”

“It’s fine.” Yoongi shakes his head, and holds out his hand to take Jimin’s umbrella. Jimin gives a small thanks, before heading into the store. Yoongi turns, watches Jimin grab coffee, and make his way to the register. When Jimin turns around to leave, the cashier meets Yoongi’s eyes with a knowing smile that forces Yoongi to turn back around.

Jimin takes his umbrella back, when he exits, and opens it as he steps out from the awning. Yoongi takes a step forward, and is pulled under it before he can open his own umbrella. “Let’s walk together.”

“We were already going to do that.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, but steps closer, under the umbrella.

“It’s raining,” Jimin says, lightly.

“I hadn’t noticed.” Yoongi’s sarcasm gets a short laugh from Jimin. “Summer’s soon.”

“Finally.” Jimin breathes a sigh, his exhaustion with the rain clear. Yoongi feels all too fond. “We should do something.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know. Go to beach?” Yoongi blanches at the suggestion, and Jimin laughs at him. “Scar covers exist.”

Yoongi knows that, but he’s never had to bother with them. Scars easy enough to hide without them. Still, he looks a Jimin- lightly smiling and seeming unconcerned despite what Yoongi knows of Jimin’s worries- and sighs. “Okay, sure, I’ll think about it.”

“That’s basically a yes.”

“It is not.”

“It is. You love me, you’ll give in.”

“Don’t go using that power for evil all the sudden.”

“Me? Evil? Never.”

“If you say so.”

 A little over a year ago, Yoongi barely knew Jimin. A year ago, he and Jimin became friends. A month ago, they started dating.

But it hurts. You’re sick. You could die and all because your feelings aren’t returned. All because the universe decided you should have this illness that somehow avoided him. That rather than being tortured with his own feelings, he has to watch you be punished for yours.

And the worst part is, you refuse help. No matter how much he tells you to just get rid of the flowers you hesitate. Put it off. Say you will, say you might be able to just… forget your feelings. Maybe you wont even need the surgery. You both know this isn’t true, but Mishima finds himself back in old, meek habits. Unable to speak up. Unable to beg you to get help because he can’t lose you.

“Who is it?” He finally asks, sitting across from you as you study in the restaurant you always do.

“Who-” You cough- “Who is what?”

“Who do you love, ___?” Mishima’s frown is likely startling, because you seem rather surprised with his seriousness.

“It’s not a good answer.”

“___.” He says your name like he’s pleading, and you sigh, frowning down at your forgotten school-work.

“You.”

It’s a simple word. A simple answer. And in way it changes nothing. It doesn’t undo your suffering, or the hurt that’s come from watching you. It answers some things, like why you haven’t yet fixed the problem, and why you wouldn’t tell him before, but it only really changes one things.

You don’t have a reason to be sick.

“Mishima?” You call out to him, nervousness surprisingly clear in your voice, and he looks up to meet your eyes.

“You’re joking!”

“N-no. I’m… sorry.”

“This is- there’s no reason for this!”

“What?!”

“I have the same feelings for you! We’re both stupid! This whole time you could have been healthy, and I wouldn’t think that you were dying by having feelings for someone else!”

“Are- are you just trying to make me feel better?”

Mishima stops, looks at you as if you’ve said something ridiculous and shakes his head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

It starts, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ isn’t something he immediately sees coming. See, it all begins with his parent’s attempts to enrich his life. Which he would appreciate, had their plan to do so not been to set him up with girls in the hopes that, one day, one of them would be someone he was interested in. It isn’t like any of the people they try to ‘trick’ him into going on blind dates with are bad, by any means. In fact, he might even like some of them, under different circumstances. But he really just doesn’t like the idea of being set up with someone while on a blind double-date with his parent’s as the other couple.

So, he takes solace in the fact that his parents at least allow him choice of restaurant. Two of his close friends- Jimin and Taehyung- happen to work at to place he picks as waiters. They are the only good thing about the ‘dates’ in the end. They give him every opportunity to avoid talking to his dates, and listen to his complaints after everyone else has left. More often than not, Jimin is the one severing them, because Taehyung has a harder time pretending like he doesn’t know Yoongi, but they’ve both been his servers at one time or another, and he honestly really appreciates their presences.

On this particular day, they’re both working, and Taehyung is the server. And the ‘surprise’ guest of his parent’s is a girl a little older than Yoongi. She’s fairly nice, and cute, so Yoongi feels a little bad that she’s been dragged into this, especially since he has aproximentally zero interest in any part of this.

“Hi. I’m Yoongi and I don’t want to be here.” Yoongi shakes her hand, and she looks vaguely taken aback. Though she covers up a laugh, Yoongi’s mother smacks his arm, sighing.

“I told you not to introduce yourself like that anymore.”

“Well, it’s true.” Yoongi shrugs. He does feel a bit bad because of the disappointment clear on her face, but it isn’t his fault he’s been put in a situation he doesn’t want to be put in. It’s uncomfortable enough to go on blind dates, but to have them all be the result of his parent’s ‘tricking’ him into going on them doesn’t help at all.

He’s honestly beginning to get fed up with the whole thing. He has this feeling like he, Jimin, and Taehyung will have a long conversation after tonight. Mostly consisting of Yoongi being, yet again, exhausted with the situation. And then Jimin will pat him on the back, despite finding amusement in Yoongi’s situation.

Or, Yoongi thinks, he could come up with a reason to get out of these dinners entirely. To make his parents give up on trying to set him up.

Yoongi isn’t actually entirely sure what possesses him to do it, but he stands as Taehyung is walking past their table- halfway through dinner that night- and grabs his arm. Taehyung looks briefly surprised, before Yoongi turns back to the table, without letting go. Yoongi’s parents and ‘date’ are staring, questioning expressions on their faces. And Yoongi, without thinking, speaks the words he hopes will end this entire thing. How wrong he is.

“Mom… I’m gay, this is Taehyung, and we’ve been dating for three months.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, closing his eyes and waiting for her- or his father’s- response. There’s very little truth to the statement. In fact, only one thing in it is true. Taehyung is, well, Taehyung, but they aren’t dating and Yoongi isn’t gay. Saying so was just easier in this situation than saying he was bi.

“Oh.” His mother’s surprise is evident when Yoongi opens his eyes, and nobody seems to know what to do.

Taehyung is the first to move, and Yoongi really wishes it had been Jimin instead as soon as he does. Taehyung leans against Yoongi, free hand on his chest, looking like he’s just discovered sunshine.

“I thought this day would never come.” Yoongi internally groans, but doesn’t last long. Taehyung grabs Yoongi’s face and Yoongi has approximately a tenth of a second to realize what’s happening before Taehyung is- far too enthusiastically- kissing him. He can’t exactly act like this is strange, since he just said they were dating, and tries to control his expression. When they break apart, he begins contemplating life while Taehyung turns to Yoongi’s family. Somewhere in the corner of his vision, Yoongi can see Jimin trying not to laugh and filming the whole thing. He’ll deal with that later.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Yoongi’s mother says, clearly in shock.

“I really didn’t think this would happen.” Taehyung breathes a relieved sigh, griping Yoongi’s hand. “He was really worried about what you would think, so we kept it a secret until now. He really values your opinions.”

“Oh, Yoongi, you know we wouldn’t- that we don’t- mind!”

“Y-yeah,” Yoongi manages.

“Well, we haven’t been dating long. We only even met last December.” Taehyung smiles, leaning more against a frozen Yoongi. “It was a sunny day-”

“In December?” Yoongi’s abandoned date asks, eyebrow raised.

“Well, I guess it technically wasn’t sunny, but it felt like it. After all, he lit up my world.” Yoongi internally screams, wishing Taehyung would shut up. It’s helping, sure, but he’s embarrassed enough as it is. Not to even mention all the people staring. “Of course he told me to keep it quiet, at first, because he holds you in such high regards. And how could I say no, when he was so worried? He even made sure all the dates were here, so I wouldn’t worry. I wouldn’t, anyway, because I trust him, but it was really sweet of him, don’t you think? Oh but… it was a bit hard to watch all of them, you know? I guess he just coudn’t stand this either, while I was right there.”

“Yeah that… that about sums it up.” Yoongi nods, gripping Taehyung’s hand tighter. To his credit, Taehyung manages not to react to Yoongi’s attempts to break his hand.

Yoongi, once away from the situation, takes to screaming externally. Hoseok- his good friend- laughs from where he sits on the ground of the dance studio they’re in. Yoongi had gone to visit him- the rest of their friends all joining- upon processing exactly what he’d done. As it turns out, he already knew. Jimin already sent the video of the whole thing to their entire friend group.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Yoongi sighs, laying on the ground. Hoseok, to his credit, pats his shoulders and attempt to stifle his laughter. The others are less supportive.

“You’re fucked,” Namjoon says, simply. When Yoongi glares, he shrugs. “Do you even remember any of the story Tae told?”

“...No.” Yoongi glances over at the man himself, who shrugs.

“We met on a sunny May day?”

“December,” Jimin corrects, shaking his head.

“Well shit.” Yoongi sighs.

“This is going to be a disaster,” Seokjin adds, looking over Hoseok’s shoulder. The other is in the process of saving the video of the incident to every possible place. Yoongi doesn’t have the energy to stop him. “And I’m going to watch this video every day for the the next year.”

“Same.” Hoseok knocks shoulders with Seokjin, while Yoongi groans.

“You have anything to add, Jungkook?” Jimin asks, looking to the only of them yet to speak. Instead of responding verbally, Jungkook makes a face that immediately gets laughter in response. And imitation of the surprised expression on Yoongi’s face right before Taehyung went for the kiss.

“I’m murdering Jungkook.” Yoongi sits up, and Jungkook laughs, jumping to his feet.

“But you light up my world!”

“Definitely killing him.”

In the end, his friends aren’t even 5% helpful. The only one at all useful is Jimin, who remembers the facts of Taehyung and Yoongi’s fake relationship far better than either of them do.

It isn’t obvious at first, that this will lead into the ‘shit show’ state of life Yoongi is headed towards. In fact, it works out fine at first. Yoongi gets out of any more blind dates, and all his mother ever requires as an excuse for other events is that he has dates with Taehyung. Taehyung, for his part, insists on taking a bunch of pictures- in different places and with different clothes- so Yoongi has ‘proof’ whenever he needs it. Jimin, their savior, helps them keep track of their story and, in turn, Yoongi continues to bring his parents the the restaurant he works at, while Jimin is working, to make sure Jimin gets more tips. It isn’t much, and Jimin still complains about the whole thing, but it's something.

“How did I get roped into this?”

“If I have to suffer, so do you,” Yoongi says one day, hours before he and Taehyung are supposed to go to said restaurant with Yoongi’s parents. Jimin is, once again, going to be there for support- it’s much easier this way, than the time where they have to discretely text him during conversations- but isn’t happy about it.

“What about Tae? He’s not suffering.”

“Oh he is.” Yoongi nods, mostly to himself. “I mean he is trying to play a role without remembering literally anything.”

“Ah,” Jimin nods, “yeah. He’s probably almost stressed as me.”

“We’re all stressed.”

“Your fault.”

It really doesn’t seem like it’s leading into a downward spiral, at first. But over the next few months, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep their story straight, even with Jimin’s help. All three of them are beyond stressed about getting caught. Which lead’s Yoongi’s no good, awful, traitor of a brain to think that his next idea is a good one. To further deepen the plot of nonsense that they’ve created, by adding a cheating story line.

Yoongi would like to personally develop cloning technology so that he can fight himself. As is, he can do nothing but accept what he’s doing, when he stands, grabbing Jimin in a manner similar to what he did when Taahyung became his fake boyfriend.

The thought Yoongi had was that he somehow needs to get out of the fake relationship. That he needs some way to keep them from this continued cycle of stress. It just happened that the ‘perfect idea’ that came into his mind first, was this. “I can’t keep this up anymore, Taehyung.”

“What?” Taehyung’s surprise is genuine, which at the very least makes the whole thing more convincing.

“I’m cheating on you with Jimin.”

“So am I!” Taehyung shouts, standing. Yoongi stares, Taehyung looks surprised with himself, Jimin looks ready to die- Yoongi feels that way too- and Yoongi’s parents are horrified. Finally, Yoongi’s mother speaks.

“I knew something was up! That cheater was making eyes at the waiter every time we come here!” She motions to Taehyung and Jimin. Yoongi takes a moment to figure out where that came from- they stare at Jimin in order to confirm their stories, a lot- before clearing his throat.

“But I’m the one cheating…”

“Uh… listen…” Jimin starts, but shrinks under the glares of Yoongi’s parents. Yoongi has only a second to feel bad, before Taehyung breaks down. Taehyung leans over to laugh-cry into his food, shoulders shaking. This entire things is a disaster. Like standing in a train wreck. As if to make things worse, Jungkook is there. At the other end of the restaurant, where he was serving a table- having taken Taehyung’s shifts, when the other started going with Yoongi on ‘dates’ more often- filming this situation. Yoongi just knows this is going to get back to their friends again, and that makes the whole thing all the worse.

Jimin takes a step to be slightly behind Yoongi, hiding from the latter’s family. Yoongi isn’t sure what to do. Even if his plan was dumb, he hadn’t expected Taehyung to somehow make it even worse by making them both into cheaters. One would have been enough!

“I can’t believe this.” Yoongi voices his thoughts, knowing it fits no matter which version of the situation someone is aware of. “I can’t believe you, Taehyung.”

“You’re doing it too!” Taehyung takes a deep, wheezing breath as he stands up straight. His hands come up to wipe tears from his eyes, and Yoongi has the vague thought that he should probably wipe them away. So he reaches over to do that, before realizing what he’s doing and halfheartedly slapping Taehyung.

“This is ridiculous!”

“I just love you both!” Taehyung says, throwing his hands up. Behind Yoongi, Jimin makes a startled noise. “I think we should bre-eeee- be together. All of us.”

Yoongi curses Taehyung for not going with, “I think we should break up,” mentally. Then he stares Taehyung down, incredulous. “What.”

“We clearly all like each other, let’s all date.”

Jimin turns, pressing his face into his hands, and muffles a scream. Yoongi stares for one second, then two, before dropping to his knees and slams his face into the table. “Jesus Christ.”

Their savior this time comes in the form of Jungkook, who informs them all that they’re disturbing the other customers, and asks them to leave. Yoongi’s parents, once they’re outside, immediately turn to Yoongi, silently wondering what to do about this situation, and Yoongi just shakes his head.

“I- uh- I’ll have to talk to those two about… this. Sorry mom, dad. I didn’t really… I didn’t think this would happen.”

One comforting hug later, Yoongi finds himself in Jimin’s apartment with Taehyung and Jimin.

“Well… now what?”

“Now, apparently, we’re all cheating on each other.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, pressing himself into Jimin’s couch.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this, too.” Jimin huffs, covering his eyes with his arm. “Honestly.”

“Sorry.”

“And you!” Jimin points at Taehyung. “What the hell?”

“I panicked!”

“Clearly Yoongi was trying to escape this situation, not make it more convoluted.”

“Either I tell them we all broke up, or we become a fake poly relationship.” Yoongi sighs, sitting up. “Honestly at this point it’s up to you, I’m fucked either way.”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung starts, “is it bad this is kinda fun?”

“Tae!” Jimin smacks him, halfheartedly. “You turned me into a home wrecker, you know that?!”

“We could fix the story, so you look better.”

Yoongi watches them, silently, as they share looks. A silent discussion about the situation. They’re his friends, so he’s admittedly too fond of them to be entirely too mad. Taehyung was trying to help, and Jimin hadn’t done anything except be helpful, even though he wasn’t supposed to be involved. Whatever they want to do, he’ll go along with it. Part of him- a terrible, traitorous part- has to admit that, despite it being a disaster, the whole thing was kind of fun.

“I think we should do it.” Taehyung grins.

“Sure, why not.” Jimin shrugs.

They explain the new situation to the others, the next day. They’d already seen Jungkook’s video, so they expected something, but they’re all surprised that they’ve decided to continue the fake relationship.

“How do you fuck up this badly and keep going?” Namjoon shakes his head. Somewhere behind him, Jungkook is having trouble breathing, and is crying, from laughter. Hoseok isn’t much better, either.

Seokjin buries his face in his hands and mutters, “idiots,”’ before sighing. “After all this, you’re really going to keep this going?”

“I’m in too deep to quit now.” Yoongi shrugs.

“You used to be a logical one in this group.”

“Who’s gonna keep track of your nonsense now?” Hoseok asks, when he’s finally done laughing at them. All eyes turn to Jungkook, the only worker of the restaurant left that isn’t part of it, but he shakes his head.

“No.” Jungkook continues this adamant refusal until they give it up.

Their new story goes like this: Taehyung was in a relationship with Jimin first. They were together before Taehyung started dating Yoongi, and it wasn’t until a month into their relationship that Yoongi started cheating on Taehyung, with Jimin. Jimin, for his part, had known Taehyung was in another relationship, because they had an open one, so he thought the same was true for Yoongi. Finding out that he was the other man from their perspectives had been a shock to Jimin.

This is the story they go with, the next time Yoongi has dinner with his parents in that restaurant again.

“Okay, so we said Taehyung started cheating first…” Jimin reviews, before the next time they have to see them. They were already weary enough of Jimin and Taehyung, without them getting information wrong.

“Really, wasn’t it Yoongi?” Jungkook offers, from his spot a few feet away. He’s not supposed to be part of the conversation, and they all know better than to trust him- he’s a chaotic force, truly- so they ignore him.

“Anyway, Tae started cheating first,” Jimin repeats. “He was with me before he even started dating Yoongi, Jungkook.”

“If you say so.” Jungkook shrugs. “That really doesn’t put any of you in a good light.”

“There isn’t a good light in this situation.” Yoongi glares.

“Not even the truth would make us look good at this point.” Taehyung pouts. “We have to be bad people.”

“Hey, you wanted to keep this up. You don’t get to pout about it.” Yoongi pokes Taehyung’s cheek, and the other’s pout deepens. Jimin laughs, pinching Taehyung’s other cheek.

“It’s okay, we know you’re not bad.”

“But my boyfriends parent’s don’t.”

“Yeah, but they’re the parent’s of a cheater, anyway. You can’t even trust your boyfriend.” Jimin shrugs. “So what does it matter?”

“Good point. Yoongi is the one who cheated on me, his parents shouldn’t judge me."

“You cheated on me first.” Yoongi kicks at Taehyung’s legs, and the other makes a show of pretending to be hurt. “I can’t believe you, making me into your mistress and then pretending like I’m the bad guy. How could you treat Jimin like this?”

“I know I started this but…” Jimin glances at Jungkook, looking for solidarity.

“...You guys remember this isn’t real, right?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at them. From next to him, Seokjin shakes his head at the group.

“Shut up!” Yoongi and Taehyung, in a rare moment of unity, shout.

This time Yoongi brings both Jimin and Taehyung, and they sit at a table further to the back of the restaurant. Jungkook, despite not agreeing to help them any, is their waiter, and that gives them a small relief, knowing Jungkook is aware of everything.

“So…” Yoongi’s mother starts, frowning at the groups, “you’ve decided to go along with… this.”

“Well…” Yoongi glances shortly at the other two, before staring down at the table, unable to face his mother. “There’s a reason I was with Taehyung to start with, and why Jimin was- why I was doing what I was. I mean… we all agree we were all acting terribly, but at the end of the day we all care about each other.”

“So we’re going to make this work.” Taehyung adds, when Yoongi quiets. Jimin, on Yoongi’s other side, nods.

“At least we know to be more open with each other from now on!”

As time passes, they fall into their roles more easily. At some point, they start spending more time together- just the three of them- even when it isn’t necessary. Lunches, coffee, movies, ect. They all end up doing these things together, even when it doesn’t effect the perception of their fake relationship. After all, if they act like they’re dating enough, it’ll be easy enough to hide the truth.

That’s the theory, at least.

“Hey, guys,” Hoseok greets them when they all file into his studio, after his last class for the day. Jimin and Taehyung greet him in return, enthusiastically, and Yoongi gives him a hug. “How’s the fake relationship going?”

“The what?” Taehyung glances over, confused for a second. “Oh, right, it’s fake.”

“How- how do you forget that?!” Hoseok glances at Jimin, who just shrugs. Then he turns to Yoongi, likely hoping for him to have the same reaction as Hoseok himself. Instead, Yoongi just shrugs as well. “What is wrong with you three?”

“At this point if we didn’t believe it we’d just ruin the whole thing.”

“That- I don’t-” Hoseok stops, looking up at the arrival of Seokjin. “Please, talks some sense into the kids.”

“What did they do this time?” Seokjin asks, at the same times as Yoongi mutters about being older than Hoseok.

“They just said that if they didn’t believe it, they’d ruin their fake relationship.”

“Okay, hold on.” Seokjin sighs, rubbing his temple. “Is the relationship real or not?”

Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi all share a look, before Yoongi shrugs. Taehyung copies him, and Seokjin gives another sigh. Finally, Jimin answers, “I think it might actually be real at this point.”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe the three of you.”

“Neither can we,” Yoongi offers. Taehyung, beside him, just laughs.

Before he knows it, the shit-show that is Min Yoongi’s life has taken a turn from completely ridiculous to manageable. Some part of him still isn’t entirely sure how he ended up in a polygamous relationship with two of his friends. That same part, also isn’t entirely sure when fake turned into real. It wasn’t like much had actually changed, between them. Just, somewhere along the line, Yoongi had realized that he actually enjoyed their dates for being dates. Enjoyed the most real parts of their fake relationship, and ended up falling for the false idea himself. Then, somewhere along the way, the same happened to the other two, and none of them did anything to stop it.

Before he knows it, it’s been a year since he announced to his parents that he was dating Taehyung, in an attempt to escape blind dates.

“Hey, I guess it’s our anniversary.” Yoongi hums. Beside him- sideways, with his legs thrown over Yoongi’s- Jimin frowns.

“Actually…”

“What?”

“I mean, you did say you were dating Taehyung for three months at that point, so you’ve already far missed it.”

“Wait-” Taehyung interrupts, leaning against Yoongi and looking at Jimin- “do we celebrate our actual anniversary, or when we told Yoongi’s mom?”

“Actually, are we talking your and Taehyungs,” Jimin motions between Yoongi and Taehyung, “yours with me, mine with Taehyung, or the day all three of us decided to date? And then when did the fake stop being part of it?” There’s a significant pause, where they all consider it.

“How about… we just celebrate on new years?” Taehyung offers.

“Yeah, fuck it.” Yoongi nods.

“Good with me.”

Years later, Yoongi would like to think he could streamline the story. Remove all the entirely embarrassing and unnecessarily nonsense that came along with the whole situation. Unfortunately, Yoongi’s boyfriends aren’t so willing to let him forget the situation. Though he doesn’t think Taehyung has any right to act like he wasn’t the biggest part of the nonsense.

“Hey guys, remember when I was so great that both of you cheated on each other with me?” Jimin asks, one day, while they’re sitting on Yoongi’s couch watching a movie. Currently the main couple is arguing over one of them cheating.

“Pretty sure Taehyung was the one cheating on you with me.”

“I’m pretty sure Yoongi is the only one anyone cheated with, actually,” Taehyung adds, frowning.

“No, wait, I was cheating on you with Jimin, too, remember?’

Somewhere to the side, Seokjin sighs. The rest of their friends having been ignored until that moment. “You guys know that wasn’t real, right?”

“At this point I’m not sure they do,” Jungkook adds. Taehyung throws some pieces of popcorn at Jungkook, for that, and Yoongi gives a shout about having to clean that up later.

“Anyway, in the end you both chose me, so who’s the real winner here?” Taehyung turns back to Jimin and Yoongi.

“Pretty sure that isn’t how this works at all.” Yoongi shakes his head.

“But really, what is ‘real’ in this world?” Namjoon hums, considering it. “At what point did fake and real switch?”

“If you don’t stop your twenty-three year old midlife crisis you’re gonna find out how real my hands are. When I hit you. It’s a threat.” Seokjin raises one of his hands, but Namjoon seems unperturbed.

It started, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ and then into ‘a worthwhile disaster’ was neither slow, nor something he saw coming. But it might have been worth it, in the end.

“But remember Taehyung shouting, “so am I,” when Yoongi said he was cheating on him?” Jungkook asks, grinning.

“Iconic.” Jimin nods, laughing.

“I panicked!”