instead, i can’t bear anything at all--i’m going to nap and see if that helps. but i sent off my very first pitch for a paid writing gig! something i never would’ve imagined possible years ago. i’m really proud of it whether i get chosen or not, and it’s strange to just feel pleased with a big leap i’m taking rather than anxious. i’m really grateful to @actuallylukedanes for giving me advice and feedback. 

and i also need to shoutout @mythologicalmango, who first recommended the buzzfeed writer anne helen peterson to me here. i read all of her long articles once i’d looked her up, then followed her newsletter when she moved, and joined the discord connected to it. that discord group helped us save kinnie recently, and that newsletter needs a guest host for a week, which led me to put myself in the running.

now that i’ve done that, i’m also eyeing the emerging writers series offered by roxane gay. i know adderall is playing a role, because no longer feeling incapable of following through on goals opens me up to dreaming bigger...but it’s also just funny to me how these things can meander their way from one point to the next. i followed an article link on tumblr, discovered an author, and now i’m waiting to see if she wants to promote me on her own platform. 

i’m no longer reading essays and seeing them as created by superior talent. now i’m thinking of everything i want to say, and how every piece that’s gotten published started out as ideas and flawed drafts and needed hard work and polishing. and i know how to do all those things! i just have to be willing to try.

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. fields of flowers, fairy wings, hair blowing in the wind, long dresses, cups of tea, floral wallpaper, staring at the moon, a cat purring in your lap, car rides in the countryside to nowhere

Ahhh-- these are excellent questions. Thank you for asking, my love

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: What’s your guilty pleasure?

I think splurging on bath bombs and taking lots of baths with a cup of tea in my favorite mug, while listening to music on my phone. I do this way more than I’d like to admit.

Drugstore Cowboy: Which historical figure most spikes your interest?

MARIE ANTOINETTE! Back in my senior year of high school, I had to pick a historical figure to write a topical paper on, and we had to link that figure to some historical movement and discuss what relevance they have in today’s world. We had to use a few primary sources. I did SO MUCH research on Marie Antoinette. I think she’s super misunderstood. I will die on this hill.

80s Movie Asks

🎃Werewolf: What is your favorite urban legend?

probably some of the scary stories I was told in New Orleans. The stories of ghosts in some of the hotels, and vampires? love it

👻Trick or Treat: What was your favorite Halloween costume?

I answered this [here] but here’s another pic of a costume I loved- Hermione

Thank you for your ask, and also thank you for following me!

Top five movies would probably be, in no particular order:

1. Pride and Prejudice (2005)

2. Tall Girl (2019)

3. The Wizard of Oz (1939)

4. Meet me in St. Louis (1944)

2/2 Also just like Olivia and Nicky, I totally love the idea of Hannah and Erin meeting! Clearly she is destined for that found family! And the Hurricane Party! That was hilarious, and as sad as I was about the devastation, I couldn’t help but think about the liquor stores here in Alaska that had “earthquake survivors sales” of bottles that didn’t break, but the labels had been ruined from others falling and breaking. You’re one of my favorite writers and I love the feels from sports you give 💕

Hello, hi, what if I just looked at this message at, like, regular intervals for, at least, the next week? Possibly two weeks. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So much!! Genuinely, this made my heart grow forty-seven sizes. I absolutely loved writing this story (both books are kind of one thing in my mind) and seeing what your favorite parts were was fantastic. 

The scene in Baltimore where Liv walks into the apartment and Nicky says “Hey, Olivia Marie” just like he did in Chicago was one of the first things i thought of when I started writing this story. (That and her calling him Nicky by accident when they first meet again in Rocky Cove) I also thrive on writing dialogue and the half-finished sentences and people kind of talking over each other, because that’s just...how humans work. My goal was always to make it clear how comfortable all five of them were together, even when Liv hadn’t been around for years. 

And, in my head at least, that comfort never really changes as they get older. They all end up spreading out (Erin and Bran definitely have more than one house and he gets traded from Kansas City at some point and maybe Amanda starts managing the bar???) but there are holidays and birthdays and kids and baseball games and everyone is consistently annoyed by how often Nicky and Liv kiss each other in public. 

ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE SO GREAT, I am so proud of you for graduating—it sounds like it was a real labor of love to get it done and that is all the more incredible. And while you’ve been doing that you’ve ALSO been killin’ it at work to become a fucking business manager, how are you so cool??? AND a Barista? SLOW DOWN YOU’RE MOVING AT THE SPEED OF GREATNESS.