#myspnfic

series background:

the major world difference is that the hunting community is slightly more structured (though no less dysfunctional or dangerous, maybe more so) and that it includes dedicated magic users within it (though on the fringes and generally with a lot of reticence and, for some, active resistance). the magic and its systems are also somewhat different and much more developed than in the show. as far as the winchester family goes, john never bothers to hide hunting or the paranormal from either of them. sam starts showing signs of powers (and not necessarily demonic) from a young age. there's also a family ritual that involves painting sigils on one's body that is central to the story

story:

sam begins his apprenticeship with the esoteric, gideon, and it's more than he'd ever expected in a lot of ways. over time, though, he grows more volatile and isolated and secretive and dean worries about him while john seems even less able to handle his shit than ever. dean does what he can to keep the peace but there's a buried streak of resentment that leads him to look for something of his own outside his family, even if it's still within the family business. sam falls in love but also finally admits to himself that he's also in love with dean, and wonders if he can have both. they do get a summer together, but, well, stanford.

excerpt (you get the end of the story since it isn't a surprise anyways):

.....

Dean unfolds his thumb, pauses, sneers at Sam. 

"You want me to keep going?"

He expects Sam to start raging, snarling, to lunge at Dean. They'll start rolling on the ground. Sam's razor-edged insults will tear Dean to shreds, but they'll blacken each others' eyes and split each others' lips and all the poison will drain out and then Sam will drop this bullshit about leaving. 

They'll figure this shit out, right here on the floor. And then they’ll finish it for good over there in the bed.

Dean'll fuck the college right out of Sam.

…but Sam just stands there, staring at him. Face blank. Eyes blank. 

Dean's getting nothing from him. Nothing. Like a dead space in the room. Like Sam's already gone, and this is just his pale, staticky shade, haunting Dean. 

"No. You've said enough."

In for a penny…

"You sure? 'Cause I got plenty more to say."

"I'm sure you do." His voice as dead and flat as the rest of him. He grabs his duffle, slings it over his shoulder. "Send it in a letter. You do know how to write, don't you?"

"Yeah, I'll find some fucking crayons!" He shouts at the door as it slams behind Sam.

He stays in the bedroom, door closed. Stays through the thick silence filling the rooms.  Stays there when he hears Dad come home an hour later. Sits on the bed, staring at his hands as he listens through the thin walls.

I've got a scholarship to Stanford, Dad. I'm going to go.

Listens to it escalate; the curses, the pleading, the ultimatums. Funnily enough, they're pretty much all from their Dad's side. Sam's voice raises in volume, in pitch, but he just keeps saying the same thing. Versions of the same thing. 

I'm going to go. I have to go. 

It cycles, over and over, until it culminates with the thud of flesh on flesh. The silence settles again. Then, the opening of a door. His father yelling. 

If you walk through that door, don't you ever come back.

series background: the major world difference is that the hunting community is slightly more structured (though no less dysfunctional or dangerous, maybe more so) and that it includes dedicated magic users within it (though on the fringes and generally with a lot of reticence and, for some, active resistance). the magic and its systems are also somewhat different and much more developed than in the show. as far as the winchester family goes, john never bothers to hide hunting or the paranormal from either of them. sam starts showing signs of powers (and not necessarily demonic) from a young age. there's also a family ritual that involves painting sigils on one's body that is central to the story

the story: sam leaving was handled really poorly by both of them for various reasons (mostly trying to hide secrets from each other, surprise!). they hurt each other badly and are basically estranged for that time, most of this story takes place in the first 2 years sam's away. lots of dean falling into debauchery and recklessness to try and numb his feelings and shut down his thoughts. he's also dealing with john's increasing caginess and distance, which is leading to him hunting on his own more often. all while starting to make connections and a reputation in the hunting community (mixed results there, but mostly growing respect that's still overshadowed by being 'john's son' or 'the winchester boy')

and of course, being obsessed with sam the whole time

excerpt: takes place when dean decides to bury his grudge and go visit sam at stanford 2 years in. he finds out that sam's at a party from his roommate and decides to go find him and surprise him. instead, he stumbles on a surprise himself. sorry it's long but this is the shortest bit that works on its own

........

Dean breathes deep. He's got to get out of here. Go back to his motel, get something a little—no, a lot harder—than this watered down cheap kegger shit and sleep this bad dream off. Decide what to do in the morning.

Maybe, maybe he can still head over to the dorm and see Sam tomorrow. He doesn’t have to let on that he saw anything tonight, just, you know, stop in, check on his little brother. Take him out for a greasy breakfast. Be a good big brother and see if he needs anything. Feel things out.

Maybe Sam's just been looking for someone to pay attention to him. This guy said he's had it rough while he was here. Dean knows Sam can get real down sometimes, those black moods that used to scare Dean so much. Gets pretty lost when he’s like that. Talks himself into feeling all lonely and misunderstood and shit.

Brady just probably took advantage of that, stepped in and showed Sam a little affection, acted like he cared, and Sam ate it up.

And, sure, the way he acted like…like he owned Sam, the demeaning way he talked to him, that shit doesn't sit right with Dean. It didn’t seem like this fucker knows what Sam wants at all. Sam’s the most headstrong bitch Dean’s ever met. Fights for what he wants. Like all that shit with Gideon. Like the way he chafed and bit and spat whenever Dad tried to tell him what to do…

Dean pushes the thought aside. Sam's a big boy now, right? Can take care of himself, doesn’t need Dean. He’s said as much before. And Dean’s sure he’ll kick this asshole to the curb once he’s had enough of that controlling crap. Once he’s sick of…how had he put it?…his possessive, neanderthal, patriarchal bullshit.

Yeah, he’s said as much in regards to that before, too.

But other than that, what did they really do that was that bad? A little exhibitionism? Some...groping, sure, in a hallway? Dean would be a hypocrite if he judged Sam for that. He's had girls, guys, go down on him in the dimly lit corners and back rooms of certain types of clubs. Jerked himself off in a truck stop shower for fifty bucks, once. Plenty of road head, from Sam himself (he pushes those memories aside, too).

So what if usually shy Sam doesn’t mind anymore if anyone’s watching? It’s college, right? He’s supposed to be trying things out, figuring out what he doesn’t like, getting it all out of his system before he’s back in the real world, before he comes ba—

Yeah, yeah. They can work things out. Dean can show up, remind Sam what it feels like when someone really cares about you, when someone actually knows what’s best for you.

Yeah.

Dean's head jerks up when he hears loud, rowdy voices in the hallway. A group of guys, laughing and talking over each other. They sound like they've stopped right outside the room Dean's in. Shit.

Dean stands up silently, edges his way towards the crack in the door. Peers out.

There's a group of five guys, standing in a loose group in the hall. In front of the door Sam went in to. Four of them look like your typical frat douchebags: the same overpriced messy haircuts, expensive shoes, hats or shirts with ugly logos. They're all at least a little drunk. Loud.

The other one? Is Brady.