#mysme.fics

You had inevitably fallen into a depression episode. Compared to your other episodes, you mostly spent this time laying around, not really being able to do anything and waiting out your episode until you were able to function again. This time, you had Saeran but to be honest, it still wasn't any easier. In some ways, it was almost harder to do anything.

When you first started dating, you were the one that was able to commfort him on hard nights. You were the one that talked him through his anxiety attacks and night terrors, but now you felt you set a high expectation for yourself. The expectation to be his caretaker… and now you weren't meeting it. 

Saeran was your partner and vowed to make you happy in any way he could but this was not solvable by just talking it out. You just needed this to pass and wanted him by your side to make it easier. But you were still new to this. 

You didn't know how to just be depressed around someone you loved.

 You wanted to be there for him but when it was a struggle to even do basic human functions, you found it hard to be there for him. 

And worst of all, you just felt needy . You hated hearing that word as you grew up and as you aged, it never got any easier. At first, you appreciated Saeran doing the extra work for you. Cooking you meals, bringing you flowers, laying with you in the morning until you could manage to get up, but now it was all starting to get to you. 

Didn't he feel tired?

After all the trauma he went through, didn't he feel tired having to look after you. You just felt so helpless and weak. He promised to spend eternity with you but that was before you had exposed your mental state. Did he still love you as much as he did before where you were the one helping him stand on his own?

You laid in bed, mindlessly letting your thoughts run rampant in your head as you stared at the bedroom you guys shared. What if he finally just got fed up and didn't come for you in the morning? What if he finally realized how much baggage you carried and no longer wanted to spend eternity with you? How deep did his love truly go?

Right on cue, you heard knocking before seeing Saeran walk through the door holding a plate of what seemed to be pancakes. “Good morning my love, I’ve made you breakfast.” 

You managed to meek out a small thanks before looking away. You felt guilty. You should be the one taking care of him, not the other way around. 

And you knew a relationship goes 2 ways, but it didn't stop you from feeling the familiar burn in your eyes. You quickly tried to blink them away but the blinking quickly turned into tears and tears quickly turned into crumbling against Saeran as he held on to you tightly much to your dismay. 

He let you cry into his shoulder until your throat became dry. You felt so pathetic crying into the shoulder of the person you felt should be doing the opposite. Did he really love you this much or was he just tolerating you. You couldn't stop your tears from falling until you eventually ran out of tears. Saeran held you the entire time, only letting you go when your crying became stuttered breathing.

He held your cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away tears as you attempted to catch your breath.

“Don't you ever get tired of me?” you managed to get out. It was meant to be only a thought but you unconsciously said it outloud as you avoided his eye contact. 

Saeran dropped his hands from you face in confusion as if he had did something wrong. Of course he didn't but you just felt so frustrated in the moment, you didn't mean for your words to come off as aggressive.

“What do you mean?” he asked. He sounded so genuinely concerned. You a

“Me. Arent you tired of having to take care of me?” You told him, trying your best to hide your hurt but it was hard to do so when you had only just stopped crying.

Saeran stared at you as you continued to avoid his eyes. “My love… why would I be?” Maybe it was because he was confused or was genuinely hurt that you questioned his love, but his pause only proved how shocked he truly was. He sounded so soft and you so badly wanted to take back your question but you knew there was no going back now.

“Because well… I mean… you know.” You managed to get out. You knew you had an answer but you didn't really have an answer for him. 

“No. I don't know.” He answered back quickly. He was adamant on his stance. He tried to get you to look at him for an answer but you were to embarrassed to look him in the eyes. He didn't show it but you knew he felt somewhat hurt by this.

You guys sat on the bed for what felt like ages before Saeran let go of the hand neither of you realized he was holding. “I’ll be right back.” You thought this was the moment yout brain had made up. The moment where he leaves you and never comes back and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. That is until he doesn't reach for the bedroom door but rather the closet door.

He pulled out a large mirror you forgot you had stored away and placed it in front of the bed. 

He came back to the bed, sitting his back against the headboard before patting the space in front of him. You tilted your head in confusion before he mumbled “Please, I need to show you something. Take your clothes off”

You slowly striiped your clothes and climbed towards him, sitting between his legs, back facing him. He gestured for you to open your legs so you followed. You still refused to make eye contact with him or the mirror knowing exactly what’d you see. You pathetically opening your legs for him after crying your eyes out over feeling too needy. And here you were, naked and already getting horny and needing his touch.

“God… you know you look so amazing right now right? I wish you’d look at us” Saeran whispered into your ear.

You didn't answer. You were still unsure of what he was trying to do and to be honest, you didn't feel too amazing right now. You loved hearing his compliments but, it only reminded you of how dependent you had become recently. This also felt wildly out of place for the emotional moment that happened not even a full 5 minutes ago. 

He grabbed your chin, gently turning it towards him before kissing you. He tasted like the fruit and pancake batter and you couldnt help but melt against his tongue pushing through your lips to taste yours. 

His hands began to wonder around your body. He began to massage your thigh, coming close to your sex but never quite touching it. You resisted the urge to roll into it but after touching your body a million times before, his touch still felt amazing. 

He placed a couple of quick kisses down your neck before saying exactly what you didn't even know you needed to hear. “I’ll never get tired of you. I’ll never get tired of how our bodies mend together. I’ll never get tired of your pretty face no matter how many tears you shed. I love you more than anything and no amount of anything is going to stop that.” 

You leaned into his kisses and let go of the resistance you didn't even know you were holding. You took this time to finally sneak a peak at the mirror. Saeran looked so… in love. His kisses and touch seemed to soft and intimate and you couldn't help but let out an escaped moan. 

Saeran heard you moan and smiled at you through the mirror, seemingly pleased that you finally peaked. “You see yourself in the mirror right? You see how my hands kneed into you body like it's the only thing I want” You nodded, staring at him through the mirror in front of you watching you squirm against his touch. 

“Good. I want you to look at me and see how much I love you because obviously I havent been doing a good job with that recently.” He pulled a bottle of lube from out the dresser before squeezing a good amount into his hands. “Don’t worry about needing me right now, I just want to show you how much love I have for you.”

He closed the bottle and put it back in the dresser before going back to your sex. You finally let yourself roll into his touch and god did it feel amazing. So this is what he was planning. 

You let out a few more moans, rocking yourself against his hands. Watching you fuck his hand was all Saeran needed in that moment and you could feel his cock rising against your back. You looked so amazing against him. 

“That’s it. Feel my hands against you. Let me love on you for just this moment.” he breathly said into your neck. 

He began to use his other hand to rub your sensitive nipples as he kissed against your neck. Between him massaging your hard nipples and rubbing your messy sex so slowly, you began to feel your climax approaching. You held your hands around where his hands were and began to close your eyes in pleasure. You were so so close. Or at least you were close.

Saeran pulled his hands from off of you and used his other hands that were previously on your nipples to pull your chin fowards. 

“Ah ah, no closing your eyes. I need you to truly see how much I love you. Look at me now.” 

You opened your eyes to look at the mirror. Saerans hand held a loose but firm grip on your chin guiding it towards the mirror so it was hard not to look. 

He looked… beautiful. His eyes were soft and focused on making you feel good. He took his time with you, admiring every curve and shape on your body. He traced his fingers over every mark and blemish the front of your body had before returning to your nipples and touching both of them. You sqirmed against his touch. You wanted him to touch you where he was before but he wouldn't. You lowered you hand in an attempt to touch yourself but Saeran used one of his hands to stop you.

“Nope, none of that either. Right now, I’m the one making you feel good. You just need to tell me what you need, ok love?” 

“Saeran, please, mmm~,  I need you to fuck me.” you manged to get out between him still rubbing your sensitive nipples. 

He was waiting for you to ask him and after being able to ask him without him telling you to, he felt you deserve more. “Alright, alright. But I need you to say these words ok? Whats my name?”

He stopped rubbing you and placed his hands around your hips in order for you to answer properly. He needed to hear you say this. “...Saeran.”

“Good. Now say ‘Saeran loves me’. That's the secret code for now ok? I’m gonna need you to say it whenever you want something from me ok?” 

You were used to telling him that you loved him or him telling you that he loved you, but you’d never had to tell him that he loves you. It felt kind of embarrassing to say but you knew Saeran had a habit of teasing you like this. 

“...Saeran loves me.” you said, but not loud enough for his liking.

“I need to hear you baby. You know I won't continue if I think you don't know how much I love you.” He continued to tease your hole with his cock making very light brushes against your sex. You just wanted him in you and you were almost to the point whered you face any type of embarrassment to get that from him. 

“Saeran loves me- mmph!” you were interrupted by him sliding his cock into you. You fell fowards slightly, his push forward proving he was a lot greedier than he let on. 

“Good job love, that's all I needed to hear from you - fuck baby you feel so good~ “ Saeran leaned over you, using one of his hands to place around your waist while using the other one to hold your hand. You interlocked fingers with him as you slid back against his cock. “Arch you back love.”

He began rocking into your needy hole as you watched him in the mirror. He looked so focused on fucking you, so proudly watching you fall apart under him.

“Fuuuck mmmm baby look at us. Look at how my dick slides into you.”

You watched as he pumped into you, his tip reaching you most pleasurable spot. Each rock followed by you moaning his name. 

“If i didn'tlove you, would I really be fucking into you like this? Do you see how much I love you right now? Tell me how much you need me right now.” 

“Ah~I’m so close Saeran!” you moaned.

“Whats the code love?” Saeran asked between thrusts. 

“Saeran loves me.”

“Louder, I need you to say until you believe it.”

“Saeran loves me!”

“Louder for me.”

“Saeran loves me!! Saeran loves me! Saeran loves me!!” You didn't care how loud you were at the moment. This was the least you could do for him right now and you wanted, no, needed to believe him right now.

“That's right, mmm, that's right baby I love you. Now cum for me, I know you can.” 

Saerans pace became uneven as you felt the wave hit you full force,cumming around his cock inside of you as you moaned incoherent strings of how much you love him. He moved his hand from your fingers and moved it towards your stomach as he fucked into your hole clenching tighly around him until he slowed to a stop. When he slowly pulled his cock out, he was covered in a mixture of both his and your cum. 

He pulled you back up against you, kissing all over your body. In between each kiss he couldn't stop smiling and staring at the mirror. “Look at you. You look so beautiful,you know that right? Come on, lets get you cleaned up.”

He led you to the bathroom, where he prepared a warm bath for the both of you to sit in. Once in, he gestured for you to face him as he cleaned and massaged you.

The both of you sat in silence, enjoying the presence of each other before Saeran spoke up. “You know, my love for you extends past anything you can imagine. I love you and want to spend eternity with you and no amount of is too much for me.”

You only managed to nod after his words.

“Can I hear the code?” he asked softly. 

You looked him into his eyes and unlike before where your words were mostly just from horny brain fog talk, you cupped his cheek and told him. “Saeran love me. And I love you.” 

“That's right, I know you do my love.” he told you, now holding the hand that was against his cheek.

His hands glazed over a mark on your shoulder you didn't realize before before you flinched. Saeran just laughed before touching you more gently. “Look at the lovebites I left for you. If I didn't love you, would I have left these just for you?” He continued to massage your shoulder, being extra careful around the hickies he left. 

Between his soft touches and reassuring words, your body began to tremble again. This time from comfort. You realized how little tension you had in your body compared to the last couple of days. Sitting between the love of your life in the hot bathtub was more than your brain could handle. You unapologetically let your tears flow for once enjoy the comfort you felt in that very moment.

“I love you Saeran,” you began to hiccup. “I love you so so much.”

“I know you do. I love you too.”

The both of you sat in silence as he continued to bathe you. You wondered just what you had done to deserve such a loving partner, but you knew Saeran would put you through another round of “showing you his love” if you said that though out loud. 

“The breakfast is probably cold now…” you thought outloud. 

Saeran facepalmed his forehead in shame. “Damn, I completely forgot about it.” You found it kind of funny how after all of that, he still felt bad over cold pancakes.

“...Can I make us breakfast instead?”