#myrmica

so while i Have seen some stuff from s4 i havent seen all of it yet so i dont have the complete picture of how their relationship was but i do know enough to know that they did (and still do tbh) care for each other and tried their hardest to make compromises before The Great DivorceTM but well. we saw how it turned out. in another life they def couldve worked out but as you yourself said that would require them to be different ppl with different goals, mindsets, experiences, and circumstances so in the end it doesnt really matter anyway, whats done is done and all they can do is to try to reconcile and move past it -- and try to reconcile and move past it they did! with... variable results.

despite zams resilience when it comes to external troubles its rather typical of him to succumb to his internal ones which generally leads to one or both results: repression/avoidance or a desire for action to an unhealthy degree and in s5 he managed to do both! hey girl why are you vehemently trying to repress your past while relentlessly tormenting your ex under the guise of "cause you felt like it" which gets worse the more he tries to bring up your past together with you only to finally let it all go when he gives you a book addressed to your real life self?? gay as fuck if you ask me

when it comes to zam it really feels like vi is endlessly trying to reach towards someone who burns at even his slightest of touches and reacts accordingly. while most probably give up especially with how frustrated and agrieved he is he cant help but keep trying to reach out anyway cause despite everything he doesnt wanna cut off that connection. what really gets me tho is the fact that he entrusted jumper to abyss despite the fact that their relationship has been nothing but antagonistic til that point like girl why did you think that a team made up of some of the main proponents of your suffering both that season and the season before that which btw includes your ex who was the main source of said suffering both times who keeps trying to deny what you had and either avoids you or tries to kill you, were the most fitting and reliable candidates to be with your best friend and neglected teammate?? gay as fuck if you ask me

idk vitalazam is just one missed opportunities after another i think, always so close but never enough, always something to regret, always something to grieve and this season was no exception. icb vi logged on for a whole 24 hours unsure when he can log back on again and zam decided to prioritize building the mapicc castle instead of spend as much time as possible with him 😭 and now zams living in vis basement and keeps ruminating over the past and what vis been through and wants to revive him even if he never logs back on again like. bro.

Treading Gently