#mylifeishell

I had to use my birth certificate to fill out some job onboarding today (When did I get this fucking old) and now I'm just sitting here at nearly 3 am wondering if my husband really did just try to make me feel like I was doing something wrong by slipping that birth certificate back into my binder where it BELONGS or if I'm just crazy.

Goes through my binder looking for bank routing and account numbers bc he won't believe me when I say they need a voided check for direct deposit and thinks I am so stupid that having to put two long numbers on a form confuses me, I guess. When I know I am right because it says that right there on the fucking paper.

"What are you doing with your birth certificate?"

Idk just putting it back where it was before you put it in a safety deposit box in your bank.

Why is this even a question

What are you doing with

Your

Birth certificate?

But the less crazy part of me thinks maybe he was just asking me if I was doing anything with it tomorrow.

anyway sat in a parking lot for an hour in town today and now have this inescapable feeling that I am gonna be in trouble for it within a month because he ended up calling me about 3 times on the way home asking for etas

drug tw

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I literally had just finished smoking meth and for whatever reason where that shit makes other people bounce off the walls I end up glued in place. Buttttt I'm gonna get in trouble for my utterly harmless fucking reaction. Like yes. Meth is bad. It is bad for you and the people around you. But out of ALLLLL the fucking shit people do on meth I think "Sitting in one place in a parking lot in a car I own doing absolutely nothing" ranks among the least harmful to self and society. Like, I hurt nobody and I am still probably going to get in trouble for it just like I always got in trouble for things that hurt nobody before. Like sitting in my car after work literally just choosing a song to play to drive home/to him...next thing I know "WHO ARE YOU TEXTING AND CALLING WHILE YOU SIT IN YOUR CAR BEFORE YOU LEAVE AND BEFORE YOU COME IN"

I'm...checking my phone?

I am DETERMINED to make sure he doesn't find this account bc he for whatever reason takes venting online to strangers as a very personal attack even when 0 identifying information is provided. Calls it slander and everything. Well it's not. It literally does not hurt him in any way bc you can't tell who he is from this post and I don't even provide the state we live in so FUCK YOU YEAH I'M SEEKING VALIDATION FROM STRANGERS BECAUSE YOU CONSTANTLY FUCKING LIE AND TWIST THINGS and strangers are better to talk to than you because they don't fucking interrupt me every. single. day. Every fucking DAY. I will be telling him something and he will just interrupt with something completely unrelated and I end up totally losing my train of thought or sometimes I have to try multiple times to just get one fucking sentence out.

I shit you not, this man has ACTUALLY gotten mad at me for venting to fucking CHATGPT before. A fucking AI BOT. THAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH ON MY PHONE ANYWAY. He has also in the past literally ripped pages out of a journal because I was ranting about him. In. A. Journal.

I remember it like it was yesterday... me about to leave my home, leaving behind my wife and my new born just to fight in this stupid war. I remember kissing my beautiful wife and son Telemachus Goodbye. I did not want to leave them for a second but I had no choice. As the general I had command in the Trojan War. It’s been ten years and still nothing. I just want to go back home to see my son all grown. I’ve already missed so much of his life, what more can I miss. Sadly it’s too late to see all of the early stages of his life but I must come up with an idea in order to return to my family. YES! Why didn’t I think about this before. I have a plan ...

      I really hope this work. I can see in the men’s eyes they no longer believe in me as the use too, they just wanted the war to be over and go back home, so did I but we cannot give up we worked way too hard to give up now. All of the men got in the horse just like I commanded them to. Its time! We have a a gift for you let’s end this war ten years of fighting for what for more men to fight and died.This is an apology gift I hope you accept it. We finally have you Greeks decide to make the right choice. I knew that it would of work. Well to be honest I didn’t but hey, a part of me believed that the Trojans weren’t as smart as they think. My plan was to get a giant wooden horse, supposedly a gift for the city of Troy and the Trojan men. But what they didn’t know was that my Greek men will be in the wooden war ready to attack them the minute they’re asleep...

  We won the war thank you Athena without you I wouldn’t be able to do it. My men and I were ready to go back home now that we have won the war, but it wasn’t as easy as we thought. My men and I ended up on the island of Kikones. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen by I knew my men and I had to find a way back home.  My men raided the island and pillaged its luxuries. I was urging my men to take what they need so we can leave this island as soon as possible but my men did not listen. Their greed made them forget about our journey home, their greed kept us on the island. When we all were having fun the Kikones army attack us. We were fighting them with bravery but we knew that there’s no way we were going to win. We all were drunk but we knew we had to gave it our best. We finally escaped but six benches of men ship were lost. I wanted to give up on my journey but I knew I had to be strong for wife and my baby boy.