#mycotoxins

It is not surprising finding, since mycotoxins are found in small quantities in a lot of staple foods, including dried nuts, cereals, spices and even coffee. Many of these ingredients are used in plant based replacements, so it is to be expected that those mycotoxins would be present in the finished product, too.

I hope more funding will be made avaialble to study it further, as it is quite a limited sample of products. Mycotoxins are naturally occuring and none of the products surveyed had levels that were above EU recommendations (which are quite stringent when compared to any other food regulations), and it is widely agreed that small amounts carry very little risk.

What needs studying further is the cumulative effect of eating a lot of these kinds of foods, and how that may all add up. I think it is likely you'd have to be consuming a hell of a lot of these foods to get to the point where there was any real risk. All of these foods have already been through safety review in the EU, so they're all safe to eat alone, but again the concern is the cumulative effect.

That said, while we don't have much research on mycotoxins and how they relate to plant based alternatives, we do have a lot of reseach on the safety of mycotoxin consumption more generally, and on the health status of vegans and vegetarians. We don't see any kind of correlation between vegans and the sort of symptoms we would expect to see if a cumulative effect were occuring in even a significant minority of vegans in the UK or elsewhere, so I don't think this study is setting off any alarm bells in the food industry.

Still, we should know what kind of quantities a cumulative effect could happen at, so we could have a sort of "maximum recommended portion," in the way we do with processed red meat as a carcinogen. We also need to know how that consumption may interact with existing health issues and allergies.

Now of course the media love any negative story about veganism, and particularly anything that makes plant-based diets sound unhealthy. The word “toxin” is big and scary and the media know it. The less reputable outlets generally seem to be pretending that this is an issue exclusive to vegan foods, rather than something prevalent in common staples that everyone else consumes. The research team have pre-empted that kind of overblown response themselves, and they're careful with the conclusions they draw.

Other academics have also responded to try and reduce some of that inevitable fearmongering. Andrea Patriarca, a senior lecturer in mycology at Cranfield University, said: “Mycotoxins occur naturally in foods and cannot be completely avoided. As consumers, we should not be frightened or deterred from enjoying a variety of products."

quick lil warning, this contains fairly specific descriptions of poisoning, ye be warned

T-2 Mycotoxin is a highly toxic compound, so much so that it has been utilized as a chemical/biological weapon. 

It is naturally occurring in a mold, though the toxin itself can be extracted and appears as a yellow liquid. This gives it the name “yellow rain”. 

It is most often naturally absorbed through consumption, though unlike most mycotoxins it can also be absorbed through skin, as well as aerosolized and released into the air. Symptoms from contact will appear within seconds to minutes.  

These include severe itching, sores, and shedding of the skin. Effects on the airway include nose and throat pain, coughing and wheezing, shortness of breath, and the victim may cough up blood as a result of pulmonary hemorrhage. Severe cases of poisoning result in weakness, jerky movement, collapse, shock, and death. 

In high doses death may occur within minutes to hours. 

The Russian military discovered the potential of T-2 Mycotoxin shortly after WW2, when citizens ate bread baked with flour contaminated by the mold, with some contracting deadly illness. It was used in attacks on Southeast Asia in the 1970s and 80s. It is estimated that 6,000 died in the “yellow rain” in Laos. 

There is no vaccine, so the standard treatment is intravenous fluids and pain medication. 

There’s some sort of shiver, a tremor, a little earthquake trapped in my body.

I try not to analyze what it is or where it comes from- I try not to wonder which combination of bodily processes, imbalances, dysfunction, ailments is creating this feeling.

A feeling like, I am a container- that is no longer large enough to hold what is inside. Like I am full of waves lapping up against the walls of a pool before eventually spilling over.

It’s hard sometimes to bring my brain to this place- where creative interpretation is welcome and easy and the sensations in my body are neutral - not good or bad.

It is hard to feel my heart rate leaping around and not ask; is it because I put honey in my green tea? Is it tachycardia? Sinus arrhythmia? Anxiety that is so underlying I don’t notice that it is anxiety any longer? Is it from smoking weed? Is it from my rx? Is it—-

Here is the best thing I have found in the dark;

I am building a muscle that allows me to make a choice: sometimes I allow the storm of what if’s, i write them down, i chase answers on the internet, i try new solutions, i make new appointments, I must do this. It is important. It is often productive.

But that is not where I want to live. It is the preparation for having a life, it is not a life.

So I can do this other thing to take a break, I can enter the third door I found through therapy that is not ignoring your symptoms/feelings OR analyzing and trying to fix them.

It is feeling them and letting them speak to you - allowing them without trying to change them or fix them.

The dissented part of my abdomen on my left side feels heavy, something the shape of a fist sits there, inside. It’s tender like a bruise. This is the part of my body I have so often tried to annex, I have divorced it from myself. I have sent my awareness, my breath, the hands of other people, on routes that avoid this place. It feels too delicate to be handled by others. Something wise within me knows that the most fragile and human parts of me exist there - I needed barriers to protect this part. I think my body is brilliant. I enjoy thinking that body has a wisdom it has been guided by that always eluded me. I can make the case for this all being an adaptation. I imagine it falling away, like so many other forms of self protection that no longer serve me that I have learned to slowly shed.

Sometimes it feels like fire, sometimes a swarm of bees, like I’m in a room with the wrong amount of gravity, like there’s a layer between me and everything else, like there’s a rope twisted through the left side of my body.

Coming up with these analogies does nothing “tangibly” productive toward “solving” my illness. But when you stay in the solving mode 24/7 you begin to burn out. I did burn out. When people who aren’t sick, or who aren’t in your body tell you to take a break- there is no way to listen to them.

“If you understood what was happening inside me you would understand this is urgent and desperate and you would not tell me to take a break.”

But this where something akin to spirituality, or maybe just creativity, maybe self compassion, has helped fill the space between science and my human limitations.

Creatively interpretting both your symptoms and your emotions (which live in your body as well) is there for you in the moments when you MUST tolerate the uncertainty and the waiting. When there is nothing else productive to do. It can offer you rest as well as new insight. An alternative to worry. Another tool in your tool box. And once you have practiced it, it has ways of making your symptoms a smidge less alarming (to me anyway)

They are still there and they still hurt, but I am not combatting them so much. I am not at war with them every moment.

I let them happen to me and let them effect me and take note. Like an artist instead of a patient. Like a person whose experience matters right now in this very moment, not just later, not just when I am “fixed.”

This is a marathon for most of us. Try to swim seamlessly between fighting to feel better and learning the cold hard facts, and staying the present moment because your life right now matters too. Embracing your live in the now probably looks different than how it did when you weren’t sick (if you weren’t) or when you were in denial about being sick (like me.)

But start with just noticing. Compare your bodily sensation to something in nature- what does the ocean in you look like today? How rocky are the seas? Physical and mental illness takes so much from us. This is something it can give us - a super power that can be applied to your difficult emotions forever that lets you learn from your experience instead of fighting it, on the days when you are out of fight.

Where can you go from there? <3

August 9

I finally got my appointment scheduled with the cardiologist! Now to make sure the written referral and the medical records get sent to her office before my appointment.

Also, update on the mycotoxin detox: I'm taking some supplements that Dr. Davis recommended to help remove some of the mycotoxins from my system. I'm not able to do the infrared saunas or glutathione IVs at the moment due to cost, but Dr. Davis says that's okay and to just keep doing what I can.

Here's Poppy:

What a snuggle butt.

That's all for now! Hopefully I'll have some real news in a couple weeks. I also have some posts I've been working on for a while now about life with chronic illness coming up soon.

July 13

I saw Dr. Davis (functional/integrative medicine doctor) on Friday the Thirteenth to go over the results from my celiac screen test and my mycotoxin urine test.

The celiac screen showed weak sensitivity to gluten, which may be because I hadn't eaten any gluten for 4 months when I had the test done (I've been very strict, avoiding even cross contamination as much as possible). It's possible if I had had more gluten exposure prior to the test, it would have showed more of an issue. It's also possible that I only have a mild gluten intolerance. Anything is possible.

Dr. Davis agreed to let me try reintroducing gluten by eating a meal with a lot of gluten to gauge my body's reaction. If it goes well, I may get to include small, occasional amounts of gluten in my diet (hello, soy sauce).

The mycotoxin test revealed that I do have some mycotoxins in my body: aflatoxin and ochratoxin. Not a devastatingly high amount, but apparently enough that if I had a genetic susceptibility, it could be causing real problems.

Dr. Davis says he doesn't have a way to test for that genetic susceptibility, so the best way to find out if the mycotoxins are an issue is to try to get rid of them.

He's recommending supplements (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine and liposomal glutathione), weekly IV glutathione, and thrice-weekly infrared sauna sessions.

This is expensive. 💲💲💲

To do this recommended treatment would cost me $500 per month until I either get better or Dr. Davis is satisfied that the mycotoxin issue isn't the root of my problems. "It could take some time," he said. I've already been spending over $500 out of pocket every month since March on tests and other healthcare expenses, and we're trying to save to get to Mayo. Since I'm not able to work, we're living on a single income, and it's looking like this might be a bit too pricey for us right now, especially if Mayo Clinic really is in my future.

I'll be in contact with Dr. Davis soon about this issue, and we'll see what happens next.

It's stressful trying to wade through these choices...

But it'll get sorted.