#mvccomplains

If the first thing you do when you find out I have two colorblindness conditions is any of the following: A) ask me what color something nearby is B) make me take a colorblindness test C) say "does that mean that this is (insert color) to you?" You are going to have to deal with a very irritable Caldy for the next five minutes while he goes off on a rant about how annoying that is/explain colorblindness to you.

I'm sick of everybody in my fucking family feeling like they fucking control me. My little sister makes me fucking drive her everywhere and gets my mom to make me do it too, my older sister tries to be my fucking mother and enforce curfew on me and threatens to tell my parents on me when I'm up late, my dad treats me like I don't exist, and my mother fucking treats me like shit and calls me garbage and says I'm an embarrassment to the family. She laid into me for fucking 20 minutes today and until I felt so fucking shitty I threw up and lost all inspiration to do anything and just lay in my bed all fucking day because I could even bother to get up even to eat. I finally convinced her to let me go to a friend's house, even though she had already approved it yesterday and she still put a curfew on me. Then the worst part happened. I promised Rabbit that I'd come home and talk with him after I left my friend's house and guess who fucking comes downstairs to tell at me for being up late. Like fuck everything, he was so patient and put up with me being all whiny all day and not just getting over myself and I just fucking shatter my promise to him. Great fucking great!! He even stayed up though he felt kinda sick and now he's probably gonna feel terrible tomorrow and it's gonna be all my fault and I couldn't even give him just a minimal amount of happiness. Now I feel like I'm gonna puke again too. I can't wait until I'm out of this fucking house, I'm gonna fly my sorry as out to see him and personally apologize for being the worst fucking piece of trash ever, I'm not even tired and I got nothing done. Stack this garbage on top of a shitty thanks giving and my knees killing me and I'm probably gonna cry. I'm really sorry... I'll try to make it up to you...

Color blindness is incredibly obnoxious because it’s very difficult to explain. The most common question I get is “So does that mean this looks (insert color) to you?” What people don’t understand is that my colors are already skewed. So what I’ve come to know as red, blue, green, etc. looks different from what you know as red, blue, green, etc. I cannot use my colors to describe yours, because our colors are different. Also, please don’t ask people what color something is hoping that they get it wrong. Unless you honestly are trying to understand the condition, don’t just use it as a novelty to pass time because it’s incredibly annoying and will most likely make them uncomfortable. Now that I’ve explained this, here’s a story: One time when I was in kindergarten, my sister had shown me how to press harder or softer with a crayon to make coloring look nicer. The only problem was everybody shared crayons, so people would always peel the labels off and I had to guess colors. I spent the longest time on my Columbus Day picture making it look the best I possibly could. Then I handed it to my teacher who said it looked gorgeous, but asked why I’d decided to color the water purple. I broke down crying and my dad had to come in and explain it to her. To this day I still get really mad at people when they peel the labels off of crayons.