#mutantdatingproblems

Okay so I have two pieces of advice, one is legit and one is more joking but still advice nonetheless. So first up my real advice is to tell people that they are making you uncomfortable when the hit on you or flirt with you (by the way as a fellow ace I feel you on this so hard), I know it sounds basic and stupid but non-shitty people will usually apologize and back off if you ask them too. And if they weren’t intentionally flirting with you they’ll probably still apologize and back off (again if they aren’t total dick-waffles). Maybe even explain why it makes you so uncomfortable (if it’s a safe space for you to be able to and the other person isn’t a shitty ace-phobe or something) because understanding why is makes you uncomfortable will help a lot of people adjust their behavior better cause otherwise they might sometimes think you just hate them or something and then they can turn into angry asshole and stuff or if they’re your friend you could end up messing up your friendship by accident. ( Alternate kinda funny suggestion: Get a shirt or a button or something that says something along the lines of “Flirt with me and I’ll set you on fire” or alternatively if you like puns “I know I’m foxy but keep your flirting to yourself or get flamed” and they could be in the ace flag colors or something). For my kinda joke advice it’s kind of a follow-up to my real advice. Basically if someone turns into a dickhole because you asked them to stop flirting with you and they somehow took offense to it: Set. Them. On. FIRE!! Like maybe not fatally or super badly, like maybe just their jacket so they can take it off or something like that (I dunno how accurate your powers are but if you can just burn their eyebrows off without really damaging their face I highly recommend it cause it’s funny as hell) because if someone is being so much of a fuckwad and you warned them and were nice about it first they deserve a little pay-back in my opinion.

 #youareliteralfirefox #Iwannamakeawindowsjokesobad #mutantAceandproud #hopepeoplearen’tdickholestoya #goodluckfoxyfriend #mutantdatingpuns #oratleastkindamutantdatingpuns

Wow……What a total dick-waffle triple dipped in fuckwad…….Sorry man I’m with your friend Tommy here. A guy like that deserves the highest amount of inconvenience that can be done to him. I suggest moving everything in his apartment two inches to the left so he runs into shit all the time and then once he adjusts to it move it all back (maybe move it two inches to the right after he adjusts again just for good measure). May I suggest alcoholic ice cream floats for comfort and a getting-tipsy delivery system, they’re really good (especially with cake flavored vodka). I’m sorry that that happened to you though, it’s total bullshit that people think we’re diseased or broken or something, like yeah we didn’t choose it but most of us (at least most of the mutants I know) if given the choice would choose ta stay mutants because it’s part of who we are. How dare dick-waffle guy suggest that our abilities and attributes are “symptoms of a disease”, how dare he presume to think it’s some kind of a compliment or some source of “ally points” to say that he “doesn’t blame us” for being mutants. Seriously bro, let Tommy wreck his place and THEN get tipsy and cuddle.

Dude! That is hilarious! And don’t worry, though we are mainly a dating-based story/problem blog we do not mind hearing about your general wacky mutant shenanigans too! I sincerely hope your dream comes true my friend, the Avengers are pretty awesome and they’d be even more awesome with you on the team I’m sure. Besides it can’t be that hard ta get in, they let Hawkeye in after all (Clint if you’re reading this I promise this is a joke, we love you and you know it. *signs out “You’re seriously awesome dude!” in sign language*). By the way it sounds like we totally woulda been friends in kindergarten, cause I was known for causing trouble and giving “weird” answers myself! (Apparently Vampire Superhero was not a valid career choice….well jokes on you Mr. A, I’m a superhero in training and I have fangs, pale skin, and I avoid sunlight so I’m basically a vampire superhero, suck it!) #awesomemutantkids #futureAvenger #weloveHawkeye #you’reawesomefriend #weknowyou’llmaketheteam #andwe’llbuyyourmerch 

Okay as a plus size person who is also a mutant with obvious physical mutations I will join you in the inevitable vomiting that follows thinking about these creeps. Ugh they bug the fuck outta me. Like listen weirdo there’s nothing wrong with kinks and stuff but mutation is not a kink, and it’s creepy and dehumanizing when you treat us as a kink. Same with being fat, like yes I get it, we’re insanely attractive and awesome but if you only like us for our weight it makes us wanna punch you. There’s a person inside this chubby mutant body and you’d best learn ta respect that shiz or get the fuck outta here. Like how many times do we have ta be on like Tinder and get a message from someone that’s like “Hey I saw in your bio that you’re a mutant….that’s so fucking hot!! I’m a normal guy but oh my god I fucking love banging mutie chicks! They’re absolute freaks in bed! Way better than a normal human chick!” or “Oh my god I love your rolls and your chub! Just let me feed you or cover you in icing and lick it off! God I love fat girls!” and if it’s both I instantly block and then vomit. Stop fetishizing our existence people, it is not a good way to get a date or even an easy fuck, it;s just creepy and uncomfortable and might earn you a punch in the throat. #fuckoffwithyourfetishizing #we’repeople #fabulousgorgeouspeople #butpeopleokay #stopfetishizingmutants2k18 #stopfetishizingfatpeople2k18 #juststopfetishizingpeopleingeneral2k18 

We’ve actually had someone with a similar problem on this blog before so I have some generic advice on this. First piece of advice: Maybe wear gloves in your dates along with some other body-covering clothes? (Ask Rogue where she gets her stuff if you’re a student here at Xaviers cause she is an absolute godsend when it comes ta getting clothes that both make you feel fabulous and keep you from dangerous skin contact). Second piece of advice: For the sexytimes I kniw it sounds kinda lame but condoms can really help as well as keeping most of your clothing on while doin it (I know it’s pretty lame advice but it’s pretty much all I got). And of course we have lots of mutants here with similar abilities who might be able ta help you find a way ta control your abilities, Rogue for instance is a serious font of knowledge on this kinda stuff and the Professor could probably help a lot too. I’m sorry man, I wish there was more I could do ta help. But I (and my other mod friend) wish you luck getting lucky and finding love!

Hmmmmm……Okay I’ve got an idea: You ask this classmate of yours ta hang out, you go on a walk, you talk about cute things, you make each other laugh, it’s all cute as fuck. Then you pick the perfect moment and you turn ta them and you go “Hey I gotta tell ya something” and you hold out your hands to them, they take your hands, you say “Listen I might be able ta read your mind but I’d much rather learn how ta read your heart and I just want you ta know that when I’m around you I get so happy that I just feel like…” you pause for dramatic effect and start ta float up while still holding their hands and you look down at your feet floating off the ground and then you look into their eyes and say “like I’m floating.” and you smile and they smile and you ask them out and they say yes and you continue your walk holding hands and it’s so fucking cute and sweet that everyone in a hundred mile radius develops cavities. #gravitycan’tholddownallthislove #Ibelieveinyou #hopeyalikeit #hopeitallworksout