as i get older,
 i kind of just take a step back and look at what has become of this world and its people. i also take a look at myself and realize how much i've changed since a decade ago.
i've still got ways to go but i know the importance of self-development as a muslim and how Allah always wants us to be better and strive for better. i actually think i've been an introvert all my life bc when i think about it, looking back at all the situations i was in, i always preferred smaller group things rather than large groups and i would always feel more at peace when i was alone or with just one or two people.
well, since i became muslim, things haven't changed in that regard. i love being in small groups preferably one to two people MAX. but it doesnt really work that way here, lol.
it's all about big groups and gatherings. the more the merrier. i can't really deal with that and it's so overwhelming, to say the least. i often wonder how anyone from here can ever have alone time to reflect upon themselves. like the word introspects doesn't exist here even though in Islam, the prophet pbuh did a lot of self-reflection and encouraged Muslims do the same...
well, all i can say is Alhamdulillah Allah has allowed me to be an introvert who values quiet time and being alone. people don't make lots of noise but that they ARE noise. noise in every way possible. honestly, the people of the cave were really blessed to live far far far away from the people for that long period of time..
while socializing is natural for a human's wellbeing, i think too much of it definitely brings more harm than good. especially now that the world is only full of quantity and no quality humans.
i mean, it's nice, though. to sometimes experience the culture of the place you are visiting or living in. it opens your eyes to many things and also makes you grateful for a LOT of things.. especially makes you grateful for the things you are given from Allah ... sometimes we take things for granted and until we are in another country or it's taken away from us, we then realize the true value of something...how cliche..but such is the human being... hasty, ungrateful and feeling entitled.
i need some tea.
