#mumthoughts

Feeling a little sheepish over my last post ‘Evolving’. Recently I had the chance to look after my two nephews plus my son for an afternoon. My nephews are aged 7, 4 and my son is 14 months. To put it politely,  it was a s*it show. The eldest couldn’t stop arguing with his brother, all three were constantly wrestling on the ground and I had to umpire their boyish inability to know their own strength. I was exhausted and it was only for a few hours.

I definitely began to question my ability to have even a second. I mean these kids want your soul, your undivided attention. Although it’s meant to be a team effort with your husband we all know for the most part the onus is on the woman to do most if not all of the child rearing. So with that being said, how the hell am I going to do it?

I’m stuck in limbo. I want my son to have a sibling so he can have someone to love when we depart this earth BUT I don’t want to be pregnant, spend a year of my life not sleeping and feel the weight of it all on my marriage. I’m at a stage where my son is 14 months, I’m getting my life back. Everything is getting easier, I could possibly get a job or build a business BUT what’s the point if I’m going to be pregnant in a few months.