#multi generational

I’ve been seeing a few viral posts like “You don’t have to move out of your parents’ house when you turn 18; multi-generational homes are good.” And I agree – multi-generational homes ARE good, and cultural stigma on living with one’s parents as an adult IS wrong! Personally, I’ve lived with my parents for most of my adult life, first by financial necessity, and later by choice. If you’re fortunate enough to have a good relationship with your parents, spending time with them can be great.  BUT.  While you don’t necessarily need to move out of your parents’ home when you’re 18, you DO need to start thinking of yourself as an adult and making your own choices, and your parents will need to respect that. If you and your parents can seamlessly make the transition to viewing you as an adult housemate rather than a child under their care, that’s great. Sometimes, though, even the most respectful parents will have a tendency to Meddle, and even the most self-assured young people will have a tendency to Revert to old roles and habits. If this is a problem, you may in fact need to get some physical distance to reinforce the psychological distance. And even more importantly, every young adult deserves the living wage and affordable housing to live on their own, whether or not they ever choose to use it. I’ve been shouting into the wind for years that the “young adults are still children” narrative is an excuse to normalize the low wages and high costs of living faced by Millennials and Gen Z, and “Multi-generational homes are good” seems hardly better in this respect. At best, it’s tonally mismatched to the cultural and economic moment. At worst, it’s normalizing the conditions of abusive control of young people. Somewhere in between, it’s propaganda reframing being unable to afford housing as a wholesome family lifestyle. In fact, I think the demographic this demographic is nominally targeted to – 18 year olds who are freely choosing between two options, having both the financial resources to live on their own, and supportive parents who would willingly share a safe and respectful multi-generational home – are a relatively small segment of the population.  “Multi-generational homes are good” does nothing for the 18 year old living with their controlling parents because they can’t afford to move out, let alone the 18 year old moving in with an abusive partner because it’s the only way xe can escape xyr even more abusive parents, or the 18 year old living on the streets because her parents kicked her out and she’s ineligible for any benefits because she’s assumed to be supported by her parents (who have no legal obligation towards her). And as always, young people most likely to be controlled, abused, rejected, or involuntarily “helped” (which is also abuse) by parents and family – queer young people, disabled young people, young people who’ve made different reproductive or philosophical or religious or life-path choices than their family approves of – are most harmed by having no economic options to live on their own. So can we get universal housing, universal living wages, and universal healthcare and student aid for young people which doesn’t require the involvement of their families FIRST, and THEN, once everyone has the option of living on their own, remind them that multi-generational homes are also good as one option among many?