#msnautism

and even if someone is just picky?? like so what?? food is personal. ppl should be allowed to eat what feels safe/comfortable to them. no one owes anyone else “proving” they’ll eat every food on the planet.

calling someone picky like it’s an insult just makes it harder for ppl like me. bc then i feel ashamed when i already struggle enough w/ food. and shame doesn’t make me magically able to eat more things. it just makes me sad n anxious.

People say to disableds you are more than your disability and yes, it's somehow right. People shouldn't reduce disableds on their disability

But

There are disabilities which causes restricted thinking which bassically can cause that a person feels like their identity consists only of their disability or mostly consists of their disability and that's okay and in general it's okay when a disabled person sees their disability as a big part of their identity or as their whole identity.

For example, I'm MSN autistic. According to my official care needs categorization, I need around 3 hours of care a day. That is a lot of stuff like making my breakfast/dinner , cleaning my room , doing my laundry , making appointments for me or helping me with showering, tooth brushing, tidying my room, dressing and so much more. I live in a carehome because of my care needs because my mom couldn't deal anymore with my challenging behavior. So, my disability has a really big impact on my daily life. The topic disability is also my special interest, so my thoughts are very often about the topic disability. I see my disability as a very big part of my identity. I think 80-90% of my identity is my disability and that isn't bad for me. I like to write texts about my disability. I like to make posts about my disability. I like to chat with other disableds, especially other higher support needs autistics. I often have disabled joy . (My definition of disabled joy is joy due to my disability for example, when I'm happy because my posts got liked. My definition differs from the definition of most people.).

So please

Shoutout to all autistic people who want to be able like others.

Shoutout to all autistic people who feel like nothing will ever get better.

- im white passing

- im straight passing

- im cis passing

- i can speak english

- i have a strong support network

- i have access to clean food and water

- i have somewhere to live

- i can afford my various supports for my autism

disadvantages i have as an autistic person:

- i cannot properly mask

- i have medium (or medium high) support needs

- im afab

- im queer

- im visibly disabled

- i am not fully verbal

- i cannot work a job

- i have minimal independence because most things need to be done for me

- i have violent meltdowns in public (and at home) and cannot stop them

Last Wednesday I was helped by a strange caregiver in the shower for the first time. Fortunately, my wife was there. Because I was not able to speak with the person more than single words in the meantime. The caregiver was too fast. She set the water way too hot and didn't wait for me to feel if it was ok for me, but just got my legs wet with it. But I couldn't say anything. The caregiver also did not pay attention to the fact that the curtain was wide. The temperature difference between water and air is too big and burdens me a lot. My wife then told her. But she didn't change it, she just got faster. But I couldn't say anything. And my wife couldn't see my face and didn't see how I was.

It was so stressful and overwhelming that I didn't take a full shower and also left out the conditioner so that it would go away quickly. Somehow paradoxical that it was too stressful for me that the caregiver was too fast and I wanted to finish even faster as a reaction.

Than the caregiver help me with drying my skin. But also so fast again and that's why I wasn't really dry yet. And then I should put on my clothes. Wearing wet skin and clothes is not a good combination. But I couldn't say anything. So she helped me get dressed. Fast and a bit fierce. And she put on my socks as terribly as it is maximum stressful for an autistic person. No seam was where it should be. They sat so tight and you couldn't turn them because my feet were still completely wet. And then my socks. It was so stressful and overwhelming.

Next Wednesday a strange person will come again to help me shower. I don’t know if it’s the woman from this week or an other one.