#mrhaitch

First things first, people will try to get you wrecked on purpose - I don't know how it is in your country, but in the UK there's an old tradition of hazing new drinkers by pressuring them to drink pretty much everything and anything.

Second: take all drink recommendations with a pinch of salt. The first time you go out, people will insist you have to try this, and try that. Mixing your drinks will get you drunk faster and you will have a bad time.

Pick something you've always been curious about. Then stick with that thing for that first time, is what I can recommend. Admittedly, on my 18th I ended up slamming down wine, beer, whiskey, shots of some fruit liqueur, and absinthe. Needless to say, I stank of vomit by the end of it.

As for how it feels: if you've drunk the right amount, then it's like a warm buzz. You feel a bit weightless, a friend to mankind. I've been known to hug people when I'm drunk. If you've gone over the edge, it's the worst case of vertigo: you're a POV camera strapped to a roller coaster controlled by a lunatic. You watch yourself stagger and trip and mumble or shout, unsure why you're doing what you're doing, but here you are doing it.

do i get a) red velvet cookies

or

b) classic choco chip cookies

Croissant or pan au raisin with coffee.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW5RCCKDHmS/?igsh=MTI4dDB1NGZuN213

I have no idea why it reminded me of you immediately Mr Haitch but it should be at least a little bit funny...... Right?

i really don't have any trusted adult to talk about this (i live in a conservative country....and im a woman....ha ha ha), and while i do have friends that i share the same beliefs with, i just want to know what's your opinion about this because i think you have enough wisdom than a 19 yr old 🫡

life gets tiring sometimes cuz wdym i still have to study for exams while the powerful countries are starting (potential nuclear) wars to distract people from how their leaders are pedophiles- can someone stop this year for a sec

(i'm sorry again if this is too depressing ;-;)

I don't have a clear answer for this, as I am struggling with this as well - I think everyone is, to tell the truth. Most of my colleagues are of the blue collar, "gunboats in the Thames", "Tommy Robinson is our saviour" type so, even at my age, I still feel like an outlier and a weirdo for being horrified by all this shit.

Most of the students I teach have similar fascistic leanings, gleaned from parents and social media, and I spend far too much time talking to them about their views and opinions. I'm forbidden from taking an open stance, but I can talk factually about things, correcting their assumptions. Most ignore me, some get angry, and a very slim minority go quiet and thoughtful and I hope I've nudged the needle just a little.

In truth, short of direct action against our governments that's all that many of us can do: little nudges, trying to convince one person rather than a thousand. Focus on the small, daily kindnesses that undermine the fascistic narrative.

I also lean more and more into storytelling, into books, and films, and art: not as an escape, but because art allows us to fix periods of time or ideas or beliefs in amber. We can step back and look at them without being threatened by them, and then return to our lives feeling a little restored or empowered.

(Also watching Andor helps. God I love that show)

Oh! And music! There's a wealth of antifascist protest songs out there, which are good for a little pick-me-up. A few favourites:

Sliming, for murdering. At first I thought it meant something very, very different.

Peak, which apparently means something is bad or rubbish. I find that one particularly annoying.

And there's a whole host of them who are into one of these new manosphere guys, Gymskin, who keep asking me to 'drop the shoulder'. I'll give it another week and then threaten to drop them.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Tcvu47Hmd-U?si=6Q5DI5J5A-yuxnSp

I've always thought that all artists should endeavour to lift one another up, to embrace and valorise art wherever it may be found, whatever the medium.

Except poets who are mewling, self indulgent hedonists who deserve nothing but our contempt. THIS has done nothing to change or alter that view.

(I am of course kidding. Poets aren't worthy of our contempt. But I will shoot any that happens upon my lawn)

NOW

idk i just hope you guys let each know how much you love and cherish each other

Hi!

As a man who constantly makes his wife (me) and his babies feel loved and appreciated and adored, he was actually fairly insulted by this; even if your intentions are good, it's fairly assuming to project any feelings you have regarding men making their wives feel unappreciated, onto him.

I'm told incessantly how loved I am. It's always about my soul, and not my body. It's shown in gestures too; the solidity of always being there, and reliable. He's been through a rough patch lately, and it's taken a lot out of him. He recognises if he's ever let me down, and makes moves to fix it.

He really is an excellent man. Please always assume that to show us practical, emotional, and physical affection, is his baseline.

This isn't me being dearly horribly offended and self-righteous, so don't feel rejected; just a gentle reminder that I'm incredibly fortunate to have what a lot of women look for from a husband.

Our sons aren't fed any toxic masculinity. They have received an early and ongoing education in consent, how to love someone, expressing themselves emotionally, and more. They are hugged and kissed and played with just as much by him, as me.

Thank you for being concerned about us though. Rest assured, we're in good hands, and so is he.

Love,

I hope this ask finds you well!

I’m a big fan of your wife’s work and I have a deep respect and appreciation for your line of work as well, as I wish to be a university teacher as well, one day.

I have a question to ask you, and I hope this doesn’t sound too weird or make you uncomfortable in any way, but seeing as you’re the first university professor I stumble upon on a platform that allows for anonymous asks, I thought I’d ask you.

So, here goes: have you ever felt like one of your students was trying to cross personal boundaries with you in a way that is inappropriate? If yes, what kinds of behaviours would be a red flag in your opinion?

I ask because I admittedly happen to have a dumb little crush on my professor, that I would obviously absolutely NOT do anything about in any shape, way or form, but at the same time I sincerely look up to the guy like A LOT! He’s a great professor, truly passionate and intelligent guy, and his way of approaching his work and his students is so open minded and understanding. Like, unfortunately I’m a little attracted to the guy but honestly I just really really look up to him and would genuinely just like to know him a little better. He seems to be a very interesting person even outside of our common academic field- related interests (meaning he’s a nerd and I sometimes overheard him talking about some movies and bands that I love), so sometimes I just ask him questions and talk to him outside of classes and during these interactions I’m afraid my minute (or not so minute, idk tbh) crush could potentially show; I’d absolutely HATE for that to be the case and I’d HATE to make him uncomfortable in any shape, way or form especially because he’s very young (not even a decade older than me) and I’d hate for him to think I’d actually try to cross any boundaries.

So yeah, I was just wondering if it ever happened to you that a student gave you THAT kind of vibe and if yes what behaviours did you find to be disturbing?

I really, really hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable and please do feel free to ignore this ask if it does, I would 100% understand.

Additionally, I apologize for any mistakes I might have made in this … quite long ramble. English isn’t my native language and, although I hope to be at a point in my life where I get to be seamless enough in one of the languages I aim to get a degree in, I am but a student of the craft lol.

PS: I was heartbroken to learn your disliking of english linguistics, I wish I could brainwash everyone into liking phonetics, but I understand that I need to accept that most people do not, in fact, like linguistics in the slightest. I’ll probably die livid about it though.

I don't really have any experience of this, but my mentor and former supervisor was very popular with some female students. He's about six foot five, jacked, and has a permanent thunderous expression on his face (he was actually very nice, mildly spoken, and I know for a fact the one time he got into a physical confrontation, the other person started it and my mentor felt ill throughout the whole thing). He managed these students and their infatuations by being utterly oblivious to the situation, the whole time. Even now he probably thinks they were just very hardworking and attentive.