Notice: please consider this blog now archived, either temporarily or permanently.
With life pulling me in so many directions, it feels only right to lay down my pen, and let this blog have a good, solid rest.
Thank you to everyone for your utterly unwavering support and laughter at a time in my life where I needed to discover something new about myself. It has been an absolute fucking blast, and I'm privileged to have engaged with every single one of you.
For now, so long and take care; I hope that whatever I have written that has brought you comfort or laughter can remain here to be read time and time again.
Probably the last sign off, until life throws me back,
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Do you selfship? If so then I have to assume it's with Nanami and Higuruma. IF SO, what are your selfship headcanons?
I don't selfship actually, no! But it's not because I have any sort of negative opinions over it, and no shade to anyone who does self ship.
You enjoy yourselves. Live your best lives. Get cute art, etc etc. Writing, for me, is more for love of the craft over the content; I take pleasure from eliciting the emotional response from readers that I've aimed to elicit. I take pleasure in controlling the pacing and narrative and dialogue to tell the story I want.
But, feel free to 'selfship' me with them in the comments. The funnier the better.
so there is ongoing and nonstop infighting in the nana, higu, kusahigu, higunana community. i know youre not a X/twitter girl but it did make me think of the issues you reported ages ago about clique activity and how people treat people online, and i think its proabably the same group. hoping youre not getting any more shit from them! and tips please for being a part of ancommunity like this for the art even if the people are toxic please and thank you xxxxx
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I can't say I am. While I've long since left that nonsense behind, I'm sorry you feel like you're stuck in the middle of it. First of all: do NOT lose your art! It is yours, and it is wonderful. Nobody can take that away from you.
So, regarding clique activity and the sharing of art online, remember that the value is in your art, and not the 'organised religion' of certain community groups.
You tend to find that in any fandom group, there are some horrid people, and some non-horrid people (the majority), and while you cannot stop the former from acting as they do (and nor should you expend your energy on doing so), you can alter if or how you interact with them, and how you emotionally respond to them.
You also tend to find that these groups share things in common:
- they always have to have a common enemy; if they've expelled one (usually unfairly ostracised) person, they will absolutely move onto the next, because their perception of themselves as the smartest, most bestest and righteous social justice warriors is reliant upon...
- ...always being either the Hero or the Victim in their own story. The sort of superior magnanimity they maintain (the 'above-it-all-ness' over the drama that they, themselves have created, and over people's legitimate emotional response to being bullied) will always make it seem, to the unaware reader, that this group/person must be in the right. In this way, feeling unhappy and outcast is an unwinnable fight. Walk away with your head held high, and continue sharing your art. You will find your people. The horrid ones are always the loudest, and so you will feel convinced that they are the majority, but they're not. Good people are everywhere.
- They are chronically online, even if they portray themselves as these people with such busy important external lives. You do get the impression that the community they have online forms the absolute majority of their human contact. While I'm absolutely not demeaning the importance or value of online interactions or communities (especially for those who are vulnerable, isolated, disabled, neurodivergent, etc.), you do get the impression that for a great many of those who are chronically online, it is their life. They tend to hyperbolise the significance of really quite inconsequential disagreements or differences. There is a lot of drama over, well...nothing. Just people having minor differences of opinion.
- There is a collective desperation to portray a certain image of oneself, even to the extent that the individuals in the group have utterly convinced themselves that they are the way they portray; usually, frankly, due to an inherent self-loathing that they must mask by portraying themselves as 'impressive' or 'influential' somewhere, because they likely don't feel so in real life, and wearing this mask is easier than accepting and working upon your faults.
- Virtue signalling everywhere!
- Much more aggressive insistence that they are a 'safe space', than actually being a safe space. In truth, actually much more fractious forced drama and casual gaslighting instead.
- Lots of people banding together over the pretence of being social justice warriors, and actually just being mean to people, because the individuals within the group have determined that 'mean girling' within a group is preferable to being out of the group. Real social rejection fears, steering the ship.
- And the final thing in common, is that you tend to notice that if there's ever 'drama', they're (strangely enough) always there. Again, they will portray that it's because they're the brave Hero or Victim, exposing people left-right-and-centre, like the brave and noble warriors that they are...except, the truth is, if you are the recurring variable in drama, you've probably got to stop and ask yourself: why is that?
So, my final advice: step back from any toxic community in any way you feel you need. Don't allow yourself to be pulled into giving an opinion on anyone else's drama. Always assess any 'drama'; if that same thing happened between people you were actually in the room with, how would you respond differently? And finally, don't allow yourself to be gaslighted, or to feel that your art isn't worth anything because the rhetoric is being controlled by toxic people.
Okay?
You know what, I've actually come to be quite fond of the phrase 'touch grass'; and not by means of an insult, or an attack. But because, really, taking a step outside of whatever you're in, and taking a breath of fresh air, really does help you to gain some perspective.
So in the most loving way: touch grass! If something feels wrong to you, talk to a trusted friend or someone who is entirely outside of any of the nonsense. Having a fresh perspective will likely get you to the point that I'm at; laughing it off, and in some ways, feeling a vague sort of pity and disgust towards people who make people feel small, for nothing.
I don't really spend any time worrying about this rubbish now, but I'll always provide insight or support to anyone who needs it. I'm sorry you had to reach out like this, but you are very welcome.
I have reminded your husband to say 'i love you' to you, your children and yalls loved ones
NOW
idk i just hope you guys let each know how much you love and cherish each other
Hi!
As a man who constantly makes his wife (me) and his babies feel loved and appreciated and adored, he was actually fairly insulted by this; even if your intentions are good, it's fairly assuming to project any feelings you have regarding men making their wives feel unappreciated, onto him.
I'm told incessantly how loved I am. It's always about my soul, and not my body. It's shown in gestures too; the solidity of always being there, and reliable. He's been through a rough patch lately, and it's taken a lot out of him. He recognises if he's ever let me down, and makes moves to fix it.
He really is an excellent man. Please always assume that to show us practical, emotional, and physical affection, is his baseline.
This isn't me being dearly horribly offended and self-righteous, so don't feel rejected; just a gentle reminder that I'm incredibly fortunate to have what a lot of women look for from a husband.
Our sons aren't fed any toxic masculinity. They have received an early and ongoing education in consent, how to love someone, expressing themselves emotionally, and more. They are hugged and kissed and played with just as much by him, as me.
Thank you for being concerned about us though. Rest assured, we're in good hands, and so is he.
"God, I love them so much," chokes my husband in the kitchen, where we hug surrounded by the noise of 3 fighting boys, 57 fires, screams of agony, the slow beep of a truck reversing and a radio playing in some unknown location in the house.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
