#mountstreetflat

@theconnaught #coburgbar where armed with my pair of #conversational-shields, I can speak privately on my iPhone as I look out on the beauty of #mountstreet where I've spent my life in the pursuit of magnificence & the extraordinary magic of mayfair from my #mountstreetflat (at The Connaught)

As I lay in bed struggling with the pain of my #openbookpelvicfracture my mind travels through the years of my #derring-do From climbing the #mountstreetgarden gates after a night of #parklane #revelry to my #mountstreetflat - my years in Cairo & riding #Arabianhorses across the desert fearless & free - or the #paristodakar rally of the 1980's & of course my life long love of horses & polo & the adrenaline of playing - even #elephantpolo for #wepa with #jamesmanclark in 2002 to raise money for elephant #conservation in the rapidly diminishing forests of Asia - yet never a bone did I break a bone. Alas my #braintumour has rendered my bones as brittle as glass & a simple squat has me laid up in #agony & #laudanum travelling the roads of my past - my adventures now limited to those I read or write about as #Mayfair's #inkyscribe & #mosteccentricbritish #thinker

I'm out of #hospital; rattling with pills, my veins ruined from ineptly inserted catheters. I snuck out as all the medics can do now is "monitor" me & my #iPhone can do that. I'm an infamous runaway-patient & expertly remove catheters as other mothers remove splinters. My family have been conspiring in my hospital escapes since I first gave birth to my daughter in the bath, assuring all I wasn't in labour at all. I just needed a "nice little soak." OConnell women have a predisposition for absconding & dissent & my husbands & children have aided me in my MayfairEscapades more than expected, despite my prenup full disclosure. I strictly adhere to Tradition etiquette & #good-manners but hospital-confinement, panjandrums & men-in-polyester-uniforms make me #bolt. My children suffered terribly with me constantly urging them to "skip school darling & spend the day with Mummy" at the #V&A @Fortnum's or "playing with jewels at @Aspreys." Probably why they ran away to #boarding-school. They were frequently pressed to rescue me in scaling over the Church-Gates of @MountStGardens when I'd come home from my #Park-Lane revelry after the #church-gates had already been locked. I probably could have found an alternative route to our #MountStreetFlat but when it comes to navigation-skills, I score about as low as a #Spaniel. Getting up the blessed gates was a breeze, but once up I couldn't face the drop. I'd phone the family & they'd all clamber onto the window-seat on MountSt Mayfair & look down on me dangling off the gate post like a distressed cat. After their laughter & general merriment, the husbands & children would eventually clamber down the four flights of stairs with the ladder & rescue me. Throughout my self-inflicted "spot-of-bother" (as I described these regular predicaments to my own #mad-madre) #Jesuit-Priests, Mayfair-doormen & patrons of #scott's would amble past without a second glance. It takes more than a Mad-Mayfair-Matron in six-inch #crocodile-shoes dangling from the church gates to raise an eyebrow in My Manor! Not without reason has Mayfair & St James's been home to #RomanCatholics #eccentrics #royals #spies & #bluestocking-salons (at The Ritz London)