1) Most important thing you learned this year?

Let it go... let it gooo. No one will care about your mistakes/embarrassed moments, will eventually forget you yourself, and then move on with their life. Maybe, hopefully. *retreats into blanket cocoon*

2) What you’d consider a normal habit, that others consider strange.

I don’t know if I have any habits because I change things up a lot... hmmmm NAHHH if there are any habits, I don’t think others will think it’s strange. >_< Unless there is one I’m not aware of.. AHHHH

3) The last big choice you made.

... not much... maybe my choice to do a 100-theme drawing challenge. D8 It’s doing fine, yes it is. /shakes fist like ron swanson

4) If a show’s first episode doesn’t feel like your thing, what do you do?

I’ll go look at the gifs on it or see what kind of pain is in store in that series/show and spoiling the story a little, and if it’s painful enough, I’ll continue. Er... but also if it’s good in story, because some stories start slow! M’yeees *taps fingers*

5) Something you don’t like about yourself.

My painfully awkward self perhaps. Or.. OR that growing summer pudgy tummy that I have. O^O

6) Something you do.

I uh... look for itty bitty random things and sort of collect them, and eventually, if I see I can make something creative out of it, I WILLLLL :D

7) What’s a quality you find important in friends?

Friends that don’t judge you for anything, understanding, considerate, all the nice things, and occasional trolling. :3c

8) How often do you think about your OTPs?

I have so much OTPs... probably everyday... thinking of how to draw them close and snug. ////

9) You are making an escape. There are paths. Choose one: a) zipline, b) vine, c) a falcon with its leg extended, d) a blanket that may just catch enough wind, e) a floating log.

I choose... THE FALCON!!! I trust that the falcon is friendly and will have me land safely. A zipline/vine/blanket might be too fast and I have bad arm strength... and I don’t know how to swim. x’D

10) Your dream amusement park.

One with a Victorian Era/Medieval theme... complete with educational time period shops and props with FANTASY FLARE AND MAGIC like Harry Potter. :3c Or just like the Renaissance Faire, except all year round...maybe.

When it comes to sound, which is prettier: Violin or Piano? I’d say both too. But Winny has a point, violin can be screechy in unpracticed hands, while piano is less capricious and can make good sounds even w/ an amateur.

List your OTP’s here, as many as you can think of! makoharu, zenyuki, nodame/chiaki, kyoru, and many others(sorry i’m lazy today). in italic the ones more fresh rn.

What color lightsaber would you have? purple or turquoise. though, i’d probably want it to change according to my mood

What is your aesthetic? only one? i have so many >< like wisteria tunnels, chinese gardens...

Hogwarts house? I always thought I was a Ravenclaw, that is until I did the sorting tests and 75% of the time would get Hufflepuff. So I’m a Hufflepuff w/ Ravenclaw tendencies?

Which one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse do you think you could totally be/want to be? idk this one, maybe Death.

What’s something that can always make you laugh? (smile actually) puppies * v *

Aliens or ghosts? ghosts!

If you could live in any past era, what one would it be? one where i could be a druid and dance to celtic music. or in a nice tribe w/ peaceful philosophy where women were as respected as men. but imagine living in those jap/chinese castles w/ the beautiful gardens and bridges, though! or in a ladies and gentlemen era, w/ pretty clothing (and the possibility of meeting a Mr. Darcy). don’t ask me the specific era, i don’t know.

Would you ever swim with sharks? hmmm. i don’t think so. i’m not a good swimmer and i’d be terrified.

What’s your favorite word? I don’t have one, either. But there’re many that are pretty. Like poesia, sinestesia...

Favorite band? i don’t have one. i’m not someone who can choose favorites easily. but there are some i like many songs of. 

Have you ever wondered, even for a moment, what another human tastes like? hm, i don’t recall doing so. but sometimes, you wonder if you’d know how to tell. (many years ago, there was a famous murder case that ended w/ occultation of cadaver. how, you ask. well, they used the flesh to fill pies. and then sold the pies in their store. after police discovered, nobody trusted pies coming from that city or even pies in general for quite some while. x.x)

Fire or ice? Ice is cooler. Fire is warmer. as symbol, i pick ice. 

in practicity, idk if i would endure cold w/ much ease. but warmth seems easier to endure. (if you’re not in a fire ofc) (but it seems easier to be in a hot summer than in a icy winter. do i make sense)

Light or dark? this question seems tricky. > ~ <’ but one thing i’m sure: full darkness or brightness can blind you. also, light things are better seem in the dark, and dark things are better seem in the light. practically, brightness gives me headache so i pick darkness. full darkness is tricky though, so i want to keep my lights close. in moral symbology, i pick light. (sidelook at star wars)

What’s your favorite romantic trope? friends to lovers, soulmates finding each other across the eras, discovering things together, encouraging and giving strength to each other to be the best version of themselves, growing up together, deep connections, MUTUALITY

What’s your favorite quote of all time? I can’t pick one, by the same reason I can’t pick a favorite song. :] but there’s this one I saw a time ago and rly rly liked: “Let me explain a couple of things. Time is short. That's the first thing. For the weasel, Time is a weasel. For the hero, Time is heroic. For the whore, Time is just another trick. If you're gentle, your Time is gentle. If you're in a hurry, Time flies. Time is a servant, if you are its master. Time is your god, if you are its dog. We are the creators of Time, the victims of Time, and the killers of Time. Time is timeless. That's the second thing. You are the clock.”

What’s your favorite holiday? Summer break (that is at the end of the year here).

How far would you go to keep the person or thing you love the most? Yes, it depends. Depends on how they feel too. I wouldn’t want to disrespect them or myself trying too hard to keep someone who doesn’t want the same, it wouldn’t be worthy. Sometimes, the best you can do is move on, it’s an act of love too. Society is used to romanticize intense passion, but the border is thin, and obsession/possessiveness aren’t romantic at all; plus it’s degrading.

Who or what are you most loyal to? I don’t know? maybe myself bc i want to be honest w/ myself when i talk or do things.

What’s your favorite flower? all flowers deserve love and appreciation! but for now, i pick lotus and orchid.

Favorite amusement park ride? i... don’t go to amusement parks often. and i don’t go in all rides bc they make me dizzy and nauseous. ><’ but i enjoy the ones that aren’t too hardcore and have rhythmic movements + music.

Favorite board game? I don’t play these much either. But I enjoyed playing some that involve images like Piktureka and Imagem e Ação.

What’s your favorite meme? omg, i can only think of brazilian memes rn. x] what can i put here that it’s more international, ahh. i don’t know if this counts, but ~7 years ago there were many amvs on youtube w/ dif fandom versions like super hyadain, tamagotoji, laugh maker and the hammer song. some were cute and funny. they’re nostalgic now.

Favorite ice cream flavor? cookie, parfait (yes it is a flavor here), fruit: soursop, caja...

Disney character you are going to FIGHT: those siamese cats in “the lady and the tramp” or maybe ariel... (sorry i don’t like her very much. even as a kid, i used to think she was selfish, inconsiderate and reckless ><’)

Last book you read/book you are currently reading: a greek mythology book

What characters are your “children,” so to speak? Rakushun (twelve kingdoms), Ryuu (akagami. actually the whole akagami squad could be here), Sawako (Kimi ni Todoke), Lucina (fire emblem),...

Favorite comic series? Mafalda, maybe.

Favorite Tim Burton movie? I rly liked Big Fish when I watched it years ago, but I don’t remember it very well now. So I’ll go w/ Corpse Bride too.

Zodiac Sign? Aquarius

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins fits you best? Sloth

When picking a brownie, do you pick the middle, side, or corner piece? Assuming that the brownie is perfect and not rock hard on the sides, the corner!

Ocean or Space? Ocean~

When it comes to sound, which is prettier: Violin or Piano? Piano AND VIOLIN!  .... You’re right Winny, a piano does sound good even for an amateur compared to a violin. heh

List your OTP’s here, as many as you can think of! Naoe/Kagetora, MakoHaru, ZenShirayukiObi 8D, KouAobabe, Adrien/Marinette

What color lightsaber would you have? Silver~

What is your aesthetic? Vintage.

Hogwarts house? Attempts so far includes majority of Ravenclaw and then Gryffindor. They always let me choose between the two.

Which one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse do you think you could totally be/want to be? I think I’ll bring... death. Pale Horse. OvO

What’s something that can always make you laugh? Videos of animals doing... anything.

Aliens or ghosts? Ghosts. Now Winny, tell me about that ghost supposedly in your dorm... what happened and what is it supposed to do? What are the reports of sightings about? OvO

If you could live in any past era, what one would it be? Meiji Era... because, the nice clothes...

Would you ever swim with sharks? ~_~ mmm No... because I’ll probably be too scared and paranoid, especially if that deep underwater, and I can’t swim. orz

What’s your favorite word? I think my vocabulary consists of mostly “....” and “ummm” and.. screaming. :’D What about... the people I love’s names? 

Favorite band? Hiroyuki Sawano for a composer. WHY NOT 

Have you ever wondered, even for a moment, what another human tastes like? Not necessarily came across my mind until I fed my brain with random things and came across a cannibal murderer, saying we taste like pig. It probably depends on how the person prepares it. Now what would Hannibal say... 

Fire or ice? Fire to be warm~

Light or dark? Dark... but light is good sometimes too. ~_~

What’s your favorite romantic trope? First love, happily ever after, the occasional star-crossed lovers...

What’s your favorite quote of all time? "Turn to page 394.” --Professor Snape, Harry Potter, Year 1, First day of class. Actually, I don’t know. 

What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas!

How far would you go to keep the person or thing you love the most? Yeah, it depends. OuO;; 

Who or what are you most loyal to? My family and friends.

What’s your favorite flower? All of them... Amaryllis, chrysanthemum... etc. xD

Favorite amusement park ride? The merry-go-round, then the other one, except suspended by strings in which I forgot what it’s called. :’D

Favorite board game? Chess... it’s all I know~

What’s your favorite meme? Ummmm... anything with art memes in it..

Favorite ice cream flavor? Cookie dough, green tea, vanilla + chocolate

Disney character you are going to FIGHT: Heartless. I don’t know... but I will gladly join Sora, Donald, and Goofy if I had a keyblade~ Then we can take down all antagonists. >8D

Last book you read/book you are currently reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. POOR HEDWIG. 

What characters are your “children,” so to speak? Ryuu (Akagami no Shirayukihime).. or anyone that should be protected. *3*

Favorite comic series? At the moment, Countdown to Countdown! I haven’t read much comic before though... but I think I probably liked Calvin and Hobbes too. So witty~

Favorite Tim Burton movie? HMMmm.. I liked Corpse Bride..

Context: Konoha’s just had a day and a half, and has been unwindingwith a run when Akaashi is accidentally thrown in his path and somehow managesto convince him to come to the duelling compound and have a spar with Onaga.Sarukui’s been there some of the afternoon, and when Konoha suggested having around on brooms, he volunteered to come with. Konoha thought this was suspicious, but agreed, and now...

Oh, and if you haven’t read H14I already, or have perhaps forgotten since I haven’t updated for nearly three weeks (spoiler alert!!!) tonight is thefull moon and Saru has lycanthropy. You know, as you do.

He looked defeated. Bowed to something he could notovercome, caught in a battle that would not end until he died. Konoha glancedup to the sky. The orange expanse of the setting sun was streaked with deepgrey and the light was fading fast. He closed his eyes briefly and his fingerstightened around the lock.

Sometimes it hits Saru on the full moon that this isn’t the last time.It isn’t nearly the last time. He’s going to have to go through this monthafter month, year after year after year until he’s dead. It’s relentless, andalthough most of the time he can deal with it okay, this night is not one ofthose times. It wears at him. It sets him into funks that he can usually getout of, but that he sometimes let take a hold of him.

Additionally, in this whole section of the fic I’m doing my best toforeshadow the reveal without actually using the phrases “full moon” or “werewolf”.I hope that people will get it before I make it blatantly obvious right at theend of the chapter, but you never know…

“You had today’s dose yet?”

Fortunately for Saru, this is the twenty-first century and it’s much easierto get a hold of Wolfsbane potion than it was back in 1993 for Remus Lupin,plus there’s a whole department of people where he lives and works that arequalified to make it. It’s one of the things that only a select handful ofpeople are supposed to know about, so naturally the entire potions departmenthas figured it out. They all reckon Saru’s metal as fuck.

Sarukui shook his head. He looked awful, and Konoha wantedto help him back to the apartments, or squeeze his shoulders, or even just tolay a hand on his arm and reassure him. But Sarukui, though he wouldn’t say it,hated being touched in the last few hours before the sky darkened and the moonrose full and deadly over the mountains. And there was almost nothing Konohacould do.

Sarukui is normally a very tactile sort of person (in this AU at anyrate) (which hopefully I will get to show???) (maybe in Ch 6 mwahahahaha okay I’llstop with the evil laughter now AHEM LET’S CONTINUE). He’s one for casualtouches, hugs, fist-bumps, high-fives, whatever goes. And it’s just one of thethings that makes him Saru, one of the things that everyone knows and likesabout him. So it’s really hard for him to suddenly be like, “No high-fives, nofriendly punches, no touching no nothing today”, because he feels like it seemsviolently out-of-character and if people start to make a link between theno-touch days and the lunar calendar… (he’s overthinking this a lot but being awerewolf does that to you, who knew). He wants everything to seem normal,because it can seem normal, so he keeps quiet—but Konoha has known Sarufor years, now, and he knows better.

“Go on back,” he said eventually, deep in the darkness ofthe broom shed. “Take your potion, get comfortable.”

What may or may not be clear here is that it’s actually been severalminutes since Konoha asked the question about the potion dosage. Saru needssomeone in front of whom he can break down and stop being his usual chill self.He needs someone who can just listen, someone who won’t think less of him.Konoha and Saru can spend silences together, and they trust each other. It’s adifferent kind of trust to what Konoha has with Bokuto and Kaori, where hetrusts them to have his six around the dragons; a different kind of trust towhat he has with Kaori in their romantic/sexual long-term relationship. Konohais someone Saru can be vulnerable in front of, and vice-versa. It’s not likethey spill all their woes and deep dark secrets to each other willy-nilly, butthere’s an understanding that they don’t need to be embarrassed about showingweakness to each other.

Something which might belie their closeness here is the name by which I,the narrator, refer to Sarukui (his full surname) versus what Konoha calls him,Saru. In other Fukurodani fics I’ve written, a Konoha POV would probably resultin Sarukui being called Saru in the narration, especially in third personlimited introspective. However, I’m trying to write in a more objective stylehere, going for story-telling and showing the POV character’s actions to conveytheir reactions rather than a deep analysis of Konoha’s thoughts, and that’swhy I call him Sarukui in the narration, and not the more familiar Saru.

I will now go off on a tangent here and remark that I am very pickyabout which names are used for characters in fic; both in the narration and inthe dialogue. I really dislike it when, for example, Ukai Keishin is shown asreferring to Kenma and Lev as… well, Kenma and Lev. He’d say Kozume and Haibaif he called them anything non-epithet at all, not their first names. If Takedais talking to or about Daichi, he would call him Sawamura or Sawamura-kun, nothis first name. And when the players are talking to or about each other, theywill have specific names that they refer to each other by, which may not fitinto the names that are used in reference to players in the canon material.

I also know that many writers refer to the POV character by first name,since that’s what they’d call themselves (or at least, the writer will use thename that the character feels most comfortable with). However, as a reader, Ido often feel a real sense of disconnect when I see this. Some first/surnames Iam happy to read interchangeably between fics: Oikawa/Tooru, Sawamura/Daichiand Iwaizumi/Hajime come to mind. However, there are others I can’t connectwith at all. I don’t know Koushi; I know Suga. I think of Ennoshita, notChikara. I admit I actually have a very hard time calling Narita and Kinoshitaby their first names in narration, and together they’re my OTP.

So when I write, I want the reader to connect with the character morethan I want the character to connect with themselves. And I almost always usesurnames, because that’s what the reader is familiar with. In the dialogue, Ido switch the names up according to who is speaking to whom; but the names inthe narration are always the same.

A long, breathy sigh came in response. “Akaashi… Onaga…won’t they think something’s wrong?”

There is now a lot less general stigma worldwide against werewolves,but at the same time people do still have pretty mixed reactions to learning “Oh,hey, I’m starting work here this week and also I am a werewolf”. It isn’t asecret that Saru shares lightly.

Konoha thumbed the broom in front of him, the smooth, heavywood reassuring in his hand. “I’ll cover for you. Onaga doesn’t know anybetter, and Akaashi wouldn’t say anything.” He was quiet a moment. “You’ll bealright.”

Akaashi’s smart. He’s observed, run Case ABC in his head (and probablygone to Case D), and reached the correct conclusion. He’s quiet about it, becausehe recognises that it’s a very serious, sensitive matter that Saru probablydoesn’t want people to know about, but at the same time he also does want tohelp, if he can. Onaga’s fairly new to the reservation and hasn’t actuallyspent time with Sarukui before this evening, so he has no idea about what’sgoing on.

Also, Konoha is tactile in a different way from Saru—he likes to havesomething to do with his hands, especially if he’s agitated. Mostly it wouldjust be him carrying his wand and fiddling with it.

A thump. “I think it’s going to be a bad night.” Sarukuisniffed, and Konoha’s gut twisted. “I’m scared.”

The thump is Saru thudding his head back against the broom shed. Andyes, he’s trying valiantly not to cry under the duress. His efforts aren’tproving very successful.

Some nights are worse than others (sometimes the longest night of theyear, or if Saru’s in a really bad emotional state (very sad/angry/scared)).This night is going to be bad less because of Saru, and more because someonefucked up very, very slightly when concocting the Wolfsbane potion, so it’s notcompletely effective (as we will see in Ch 3). Whoever it was is going to getan earful and a half from Shirofuku and will then get cauldron-washing duty fora week and whatever other punishments she devises and desires because NO ONEhurts her friends and ESPECIALLY not the friend who already has to go throughhell and beyond every month.

Also, for those who are interested, Saru being a werewolf is irony onmy part. Who better to be the monthly-tortured semi-canine than the chill boywith the sweet cat smile? I’m so sorry. Saru doesn’t deserve this. (And if allof this is spoilers for you but you read this commentary anyway, I wouldsuggest a read of Heartstring, Fourteen Inches to get yourself up to date.There are dragons aplenty and lots of minor Kanto characters and a ton ofaction.)

I hope you got through that okay (I really got carried away with talking there). Aaahhhh, and now I feel I ought to eventually write something where Saru has a nice day in this universe to make up for all this angst...

“You’re just exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

There’s a pause, and instead of what Kenma thought was coming next (another volley from his best friend stuck in denial) he finds himself being pulled, cocoon and all, into Tetsurou’s lap, arms wrapped around his middle and a chin propped up on his shoulder. And then the ball’s served again.

“You are.”

Kenma huffs, shaking his head a little and leaning back against his new rest. “You make your own heat.” Which is nice right now, enveloping him as it does. “You don’t get to say what’s cold or not.”

Tetsurou laughs, ends it with a hum, and leans more against Kenma. “So what’s today’s quest? Killing monsters? Collecting magical artifacts?”

“Raising a prize cow.”

“Aah. Farming game.”

It lapses into another quiet, Kenma turning up the volume after a brief second because really this music is too good, and Tetsurou thinks so too obviously when he starts humming along beside his ear. Though the other liked video games enough to play with him, these solo games were just out of his reach -- with the exception of time wasters like the ones on his phone, with their cute idols and easy maintenance. Kenma didn’t mind though. It was just nice sitting like that, answering questions now and then about the different characters (which is one thing Tetsurou did like about games like this) and what he’d like for Christmas, if anything.

“... Nothing really,” Kenma answers, ducking his head a little. “There’s no new games I’d like this season... So...”

“Hmmm. Well, it looks like I’m out of an idea for your gift then.”

‘No way,’ Kenma thinks to himself. ‘He’s just trying to trick me.’

“If you say so, Kuro.”

There’s some muffled reply that’s not important to hear and he glances back through his bangs, quietly observing the other for a moment before returning to his game.

This is the mistake he makes.

This is what leads him to realizing that he’s falling backwards and makes a startled noise that causes Tetsurou to cackle, game slipping from his hands onto a pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. Kenma hates his best friend. He really, really does, and he says as much in a grumble, not wanting to turn around.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the one who was complaining that the next ice age was coming.” So the obvious solution was to share warmth, he’s gathering from the implication. Kenma rolls his eyes and stretches back, moving just to pick his game back up before returning to Tetsurou’s embrace.

“It’s warm in here, so I don’t need it.” But he doesn’t move otherwise, hands habitually moving the farmer around and doing the ingrained daily duties. “And you’re not as comfortable as my bed.”

Empty complaints as always. When Tetsurou suggests he just roll off Kenma shakes his head, mentioning that it’d be a waste of energy and it wouldn’t matter since the other’d just find a way to hug him again.

(Physical contact is exhausting most of the time -- but he doesn’t mind it so much from Tetsurou or Shouyou.)

When Kenma asks his childhood friend if he doesn’t have a better way to spend his Christmas, he feels Tetsurou’s head shake from the chin rubbing against his scalp.

“I’m already with the one I love,” he coos, and Kenma makes a face of disgust the other can’t see. There’s no real ire to it though. Tetsurou’s always said things like that. Still--

“That’s gross, Kuro. Shut up.”

Still, he can’t keep his ears from burning a little, turning up his volume more and ignoring the rumble of laughter beneath him. Tetsurou’s breathing slows after a time, lifts him less frequently, and Kenma can admit to himself that there’s really nowhere else he’d rather be either.

Dear Winny, 

You write in a way that makes me feel like I’m using all of five senses. Then there’s full of longing, and pining, and prolonging a single moment into something more than just a simple action, and I just have this heart pain~ I hope you have a good day, and may all your wishes and dreams come true. Thanks for everything! 

Sincerely,