#moosefrog

Four years ago I drew my interpretation of what Bilbo would look like in Ereborian-inspired clothes. This week I decided to redraw that picture. The furs got plumper, the pose got sexier, and the face got hit by anime influence.

Iruka all but threw himself down into one of the few empty wooden benches—one sitting in the shade too—that had been set up around the training field.

The Academy was putting on its first-ever Field Day.

It was the worst idea ever, and Iruka full-on regretted ever allowing himself to go along with it (despite his general uneasiness with the idea to begin with). Letting seventy-some-odd students run around completing athletic challenges was a pain in the ass, and the heat of summer only worsened Iruka’s foul mood.

There were a ton of people here for the event: off-duty shinobi (observers and helpers), obnoxiously boisterous parents, and some curious civilians.

Iruka wanted to strangle everybody.

The event started around eight in the morning, and it was going on one in the afternoon. The kids just had their lunch, and now it was time for Iruka to have his own break (and he had absolutely threatened Kotetsu with bodily harm and a month of evil pranks if he couldn’t get a break).

Iruka melted against the bench, he was overheated and annoyed, but the relief he felt sitting in the fortuitous blob of shade was immediate. The greatest tragedy of his life was that he was unable to do wind release jutsu; a nice breeze would have been heavenly

In badly need of a distraction from this plane of hell, Iruka dug out his copy of the new Icha Icha Masquerade and cracked it open to where his bookmark kept his place. Mori-kun had just been approached by a dashing and mysterious man in a silver wolf mask. Iruka was dying to find out how the encounter would play out.

Iruka never used to like Icha Icha. He had always thought it was tasteless porn dressed up in purple prose and called literature. So it came as a surprise to him when one day he decided to see what all the hype was about. He discovered that not only did the author write a rather impressive variety of stories (featuring an equally vast combination of gender identities, sexualities, and kinks), but the writing was actually pretty good if a little cheesy at some parts.

Suffice it to say, Iruka was immediately hooked. He even had to get a new bookcase to hold his growing collection of Icha Icha novels.

So far, Icha Icha Masquerade was his favorite novel. There was something to be said about the suavity of a mysterious, mask-wearing stranger.

“Where are you at in the book?”

It said a lot about Iruka’s mood and energy levels that he didn’t immediately launch himself up off the bench and murder the person next to him. Well, he might have tried to murder the person next to him, but he doubted he could kill Kakashi so easily.

Some days Iruka really wished he could kill the man based on his poor mission reports. He drove the mission desk workers up the wall.

Iruka tilted his head a little to the left to stare at him, taking note of the orange book cradled in the fingers of Kakashi’s left hand.

“Excuse me?”

Kakashi pointed at the novel in Iruka’s own hands. “Where are you at in Icha Icha Masquerade?”

“Oh, uhh Mori-kun just met the man in the wolf mask,” Iruka said. The question had his entire mood shifting.

Kakashi held his own copy of Masquerade up, waving it a bit. “I just got to the part in the garden, after their first meeting—”

Iruka squawked, “No spoilers, Hatake!”

Kakashi snickered and made a placating gesture.

“How long have you been sitting here anyway?” Iruka groused, feeling a little annoyed at himself that he didn’t notice Kakashi was already sitting on the bench.

“A little while, before you showed up,” Kakashi shrugged. “I’m hiding, you see, and so I camouflaged myself.”

Iruka squinted at him; Kakashi seemed amused by something. He guessed the jounin was off-duty and had somehow got roped into the Field Day shitshow. Iruka could definitely appreciate Kakashi’s brilliant idea. And he wouldn’t mind having someone to talk about Icha Icha with.

“Tell you what, you hide us both, I get caught up, and you can tell me who your favorite character in Masquerade is. Sound good?”

Kakashi tilted his head a little, making a show of contemplating Iruka’s offer.

“I can do that,” he said after a moment, then quickly ran through a few hand seals, with his copy of Icha Icha still in hand, and released a small burst of chakra. Iruka felt the brush of an illusion wash over him.

“But I think I can guess who your favorite character already is, Sensei,” Kakashi added once his jutsu was in place.

Iruka snorted. “Oh really? Please, tell me. I’m just dying to know.”

“I’d say Mori-kun is your favorite character. He’s also a school teacher and shares a lot of the same qualities you do.” Kakashi said, and the cloth hiding his face shifted. He was definitely smirking.

“You got a list of my supposed qualities now, do you?” Iruka asked pointedly.

Kakashi shrugged in lieu of a real answer. 

Maybe it was the heat playing tricks on him, but Iruka swore he could see a blush on the one-quarter of Kakashi’s face that wasn’t hidden. And he most certainly enjoyed the way the question made the jounin shift (which honestly translated into him squirming) awkwardly. Everyone loved Mori-kun, and Iruka did too. He was a good, well-balanced character and Iruka was flattered by Kakashi’s subtle compliment.

“Mori is everyone’s favorite, but I think I’m more partial toward mysterious men in masks. There’s just something about them that drives me wild.” Iruka smiled.

Hi! 😊

My favorite expletive... As in, swear words? In French, it would be the classic yet always useful "putain", which is the equivalent of "fuck". "Putain de bordel de merde" is a really good and expressive one, loosely translated : "bloody fucking shit". In English, I prefer things like "holy fuck" or "Bloody Hell". I looove "bloody hell", it's so imaginative! Like, picture your idea of hell, and then just add blood, and you've got the perfect vacation destination for anyone who bothers you. ... Yeah, I can be pretty petty. Otherwise, in Arabic, I tend to use the equivalent of "go fuck yourself" (سير تقود - "sir tkaoud") but only when I'm sure no one who speaks Arabic can hear me, because it's a pretty violent one.

Also, yes, yep, I have a potty mouth. We don't censure swears and bad words in my family, so we tend to yell expletives pretty freely. And we're all multilingual so we swear in any language that comes first to mind. My mother swears in Spanish and my father in Arabic. The funniest thing is hearing my 9yo sister yelling swear words in English when she's just started to learn it.

... Aaaand that is enough foul language for one day, kinda glad Tumblr doesn't have a censorship. 😂

Ask me - 65 questions you're not used to

Yes, happily!

Nori’s the sheriff?! What a twist! :D

I 100% agree with ketchup on poutine for exactly the reason you stated! I prefer malt vinegar if I can get it but ketchup does the job! FYI Canadian here. XD

sagedarkwoods replied to your photo “They have poutine at the ballpark today! Nobody judge my ketchup....”

Agreed. Also malt vinegar. Also Canadian. :)

OH MAN malt vinegar would have been SO GOOD on it you guys. God damn that gravy was so salty. It’s already got fries and cheese, don’t salt the gravy!

amazon-x replied to your photo “They have poutine at the ballpark today! Nobody judge my ketchup....”

It needs cheese to be poutine

It did have cheese, though I know it’s hard to see. I can’t tell if it was proper curds or just sliced up soft cheese, because it was pretty melted, but oh my god it was good. 

savelion replied to your photo “They have poutine at the ballpark today! Nobody judge my ketchup....”

Nooooo why would you put all this sauce on French fries??? What is this atrocity unto god???? Explain urself D:

It’s because sauce on fries is glorious, my friend! I cannot explain, I can only evangelize. 

archwrites replied to your photo “They have poutine at the ballpark today! Nobody judge my ketchup....”

oh, so they'll have poutine Gary style but not a Gary-style hot dog, I see how it is, GARY

It takes things a while to catch on in this town, Arch. You gotta be patient. And clearly we have to start demanding Gary Style! 

scifigrl47 replied to your photo “They have poutine at the ballpark today! Nobody judge my ketchup....”

I can hear your arteries hardening from here, Starbuck.

It’s good for the heart! Makes it work harder, makes it strong! 

sunhaina replied to your post “tienriu replied to your post “I HAVE FINISHED “DYING FOR CHOCOLATE”....”

This hurts so much. Kage Baker's Company novel are my favorite series of all time, even above the Discworld and the Spencer mysteries.

Um... YES! Supernatural AUs are definitely something I enjoy writing and vampires are perfect for Miranda and Thomas. Have you ever seen David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger? (look at me and my 80ies movie references) That kind of vampire.