#moose why

So I was doing a little cleaning because I’m supposed to move in a few months and I discovered this little gem.

Looks innocuous enough, right? Let’s paint the picture so to speak.

My metabolism is super slow. I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed. It doesn’t even blip across my mind to tell him this. Cue anesthesia. He keeps giving me more because I’m not passing out like a normal person. Like I’m getting dosed and I can tell this dude is going WTF?

Anyway, I finally take the big nap. Now cue panicked nurses because they can’t wake me up. They’ve given me so much propofol that they now have to give me a reversal to bring me back to the land of the living. If you don’t know what that is, it feels like straight speed. Like uncut speed just injected directly in your body.

And I am hyped. Because slow metabolism remember? So guess what they give me extra of? Yeah, that’s right. Speed.

Now we get home and most people go to sleep after wisdom teeth surgery. I do not. I am awake and aware.

I watch three (3️⃣) movies and slip into my lesser known persona (apparently this persona was a secret even to myself) the Spider.

Now I crocheted this monster (badly) while high on speed-reversal.

I’ll tell you right now, I knew this was a monster because it was heavy.

Guys. I can’t.

It’s so bad and why is it so long? I missed so many stitches and it’s so uneven. It’s the crocheting of a chick high as a kite.

I had to get out a tape measure, just to see. I took a panoramic because I want you to see the truth.

Why?

Why would I make it this long? A king sized bed spread is only 90 inches at its longest.

I did one row and a half sober and it took me an hour. AN HOUR.

Like I have no use for it, but I kinda don’t wanna throw it away, but seriously. What do I do with this?

Me: *sees clothing and other junk all over instrument*...