#moonsdying

     Sai had taken the path through this forest, see. It hadn’t been on the map, this path, but it had pointed south and he’d thought maybe he could cut a few hours from his trip and make it back to the village and his friends just a little bit sooner. The path did not make sense once he was on it, left and right turns through a forest of trees not made for running the way the redwoods were and underbrush that made it just a little bit treacherous to wander. He stuck to it, not turning around. He thinks perhaps it was the first time he’d felt honest curiosity. 

     The daylight had turned to late afternoon almost without him noticing, the sun hanging low in the western sky and peeking down at him from those dense branches. Pine needles had muffled his footsteps to almost nothing and the ground had felt spongy, dense, rich. He’d noticed immediately with the birds stopped singing, but pausing and feeling for life around him had revealed nothing-- not even deer, not even foxes, not even rabbits. Sai had continued on the winding, nonsensical path. 

     He’d smelled death first: that particular mixture of fear-blood and torn stomach, and keeping his course had led him right to the source. A pool of blood soaked into the hungry dirt between two massive trees, staining the rust-colored pine needles red and black and when he’d lifted his head he finally saw her. Her, long dark hair spilling over her shoulders and falling into her face. Her, with dull and sightless eyes staring right at him, head tipped down until her chin rested against what remained of her sternum. Her, impaled on the branches several meters above him, her ribcage split open and her entrails hanging out of her, still slowly dripping blood onto the forest floor. Her Kumo headband remained snug around her forehead.

     Strange, he’d thought to himself. There were no signs of a struggle-- no broken branches, no tang in the air that spoke to any jutsu being used. And other than the obvious she hadn’t been injured as far as he could tell. Just caked with loamy dirt on her hands and the tattered remains of her uniform, like she’d been rolling around in the dirt before someone had placed her up here and then ripped her open. 

     He’d peered up at her for a few minutes, probably, except he thinks maybe it had been longer than that because when he heard the twig snap behind him the sun was far closer to the horizon than it should have been. Part of him had wanted to cut her down, though he’d not been sure why at the time. The muffled four-beat footsteps behind him were animal, probably a deer or one of those massive elk or moose that hang around these woods he’d thought, though it was strange that a prey animal would stray so close to another dead thing. 

          Sai turned around. 

     The thing’s lack of fear made sense, then, because it was clearly no prey animal. Four massive cloven hooves connected to brown-black furry legs that were too-long and too-lean and too-strong. It was almost twice his height at the shoulder, big-bodied on those spindly legs, its rear hunched but its front straight and proud. He had to tilt his head back to look it in the face, looming over him as it was, even though its head was leaned down on its massive neck as far as it could go. 

     Its head didn’t make sense either. There was a sense of a massive rack of antlers, of a cervid jaw and a nose of exposed bone. Human arms sprouted where there should have been ears, and from underneath the jaw where it met neck, long and pale things blackened with soot like the antlers and tipped with long and broken nails. Upon its forehead sat a blank mask of a human face with too many glowing golden eyes, and the hands reached down for him with the fingers outstretched. 

          “Oh,” Sai said, and the thing had stilled. “Hello.” 

     Its fingers curled into fists but it stayed frozen for a moment, peering down at him with too-many-golden-eyes, and then slowly the head had cocked to the side curiously. Sai mimicked the gesture, and finally the thing had rumbled a curt “hello” in return. 

     He blinked at it, and then a polite smile fixed itself firmly on his face. His heart beat evenly and his voice was as smooth as glass when he tucked his still hands behind his back and he observed, “it’s quite rude to go around grabbing people without permission, you know.” 

     The thing gave a massive incredulous snort and crossed the one pair of arms under its chin and the other up near its horns like a fleshy crown, and its voice rumbled like thunder when it replied, “by your standards or mine?” 

     Sai had tilted his head and conceded the point silently-- after all, he was trespassing on another predator’s territory. That was certainly rude of him, too. The thing watched him for another moment before stepping forward and uncrossing its arms, reaching down to settle two hands on his jaw and one on his forehead, tilting his head this way and that. Its skin felt restless, like if Sai cut it only maggots or poorly packed dirt or a great wall of static might fall instead of blood. He stood still. 

     “You will do,” the thing had murmured then, absent and nearly fond as it stroked a five-jointed-thumb over his cheek. Its breath was musty and damp against his skin.

     “No,” Sai had said, sounding almost apologetic for some reason as he reached up to settle his own hand on its wrist. “I will not.” 

     The thing had squeezed his head then until he thought his skull might crack, snarling something unintelligible at him that turned into a howl when he’d swiped his tanto across its wrists and lopped off one of the hands completely. When it landed in the dirt at his feet it had dissolved into a hundred moths that scattered frantically into the air between them. The thing had reeled back and he’d taken the opportunity to dart away, far enough to shape three ink clones and drop below the surface of the earth. 

     It had taken off after the clone heading north with a bellow that shook every branch, and Sai had waited a long while before he’d finally crawled back out of the ground with a sigh. It had caught one of his clones moments after the sun had finally set below the horizon but the other two were still running around out there. He glanced at the woman hanging from the branches, sighed, and started walking south once more, careful to keep his footsteps quiet and light and his senses alert. The forest around him was completely empty of life. 

     By the time he made it to the edge, the sun had been coming back up. The thing had caught both of his remaining clones in the night, and the less said about the things it did to them in the brief moments before they dissolved the better. He’d been exhausted, and a dozen or so meters from the treeline he’d turned around just to see and there it had been, lingering just in the shade of the trees and watching him. One hand was clasped around the still-bleeding stump he’d made of one of the arms, and the blood was black, and when it dripped to the ground little raspberry vines sprouted from the ground. 

     Sai had raised his hand in farewell, and the thing had turned its back to him and wandered back into the trees silently, either unwilling or unable to leave its trees behind. He’d gone home, and Naruto had laughed about the perfect hand-shaped bruises on his face and asked what he’d said to piss someone off bad enough to slap him on the forehead, and Sakura had just sighed and settled a glowing green hand to his cheek and he hadn’t flinched because not for one moment was he afraid. 

         He just didn’t think he had any business killing something he hadn’t set out to kill in the first place. 

     It’s the same deal now, he thinks. The thing will not be happy to see him again. But the story is long and he doesn’t feel like telling it, even if he knows Hayate has to be curious-- he’d just spent the last few minutes standing perfectly still and staring blankly into the space between the tall-straight tree trunks. 

     “The path is not actually a shortcut,” he finally says, gesturing to the worn and inviting dirt track that leads weary travelers to their doom. “It is still faster to go around the forest.”  

     And as for what’s in there? Sai just pats Hayate on the shoulder and starts walking again, tucking his hands into his pockets and keeping an eye out for flashes of movement in the trees. One of the other jounin with them scoffs, but no argument comes. “We should keep moving. There is a lot of ground to cover by dawn.”

It’s full tonight. he wonders distantly if that has anything to do with his sudden and intense longing for hayate, how he swears he can feel the man’s presence in the night’s sky. iruka chuckles to himself, smiles at his own fanciful thoughts. he’s been talking to the moon so long in hayate’s stead, ever since they parted at the beginning of this long and violent battle, it’s as if he can hardly tell the difference. that’s what missing someone will do to you.

he curls his knees in closer, hugging them tight against his chest, mimicking the comfort he’s gotten used to seeking from hayate. chin tilted towards the sky, he draws in a deep breath, lets eyelids flutter shut as he bathes in the moonlight. iruka remembers the stories hayate has shared of his clan, of the moon, of their shared ancestry. he must have, at some point or another, internalized them. formed some unconscious connection between the two. perhaps that’s why he feels a pull in his chest when it begins to wax, a tugging on his heart to sit in its company. some inexplicable compulsion to talk to the moon like it’s his lover.

“I hope you’re okay, wherever you are tonight.” it doesn’t matter how foolish iruka thinks this is; he can’t stop his heart from spilling out before the full moon. he could never hide his secrets from hayate. “I want to let you know I’m okay. I mean, I’m not sleeping much, but when have I ever? and it’s so much harder to sleep without you. but it’s alright - it means I get to stay up and talk to you.” 

a pause while iruka swallows back something thick and emotional. “I miss you, and not just because I’m exhausted without you to help me fall asleep. i keep thinking, as time goes on, I’ll get used to missing you, but I’m really not. everyday, every night, I keep missing you. I just - I can’t wait to see you again. to be together, after all this is over.” 

there’s a breeze that tickles the back of iruka’s neck. he must be tired, the way it feels like hayate’s reassuring touch, the press of lips against his skin. “I love you. I guess that’s all I wanted to say. That I love you, I miss you, and I hope you’re safe.” 

he’ll watch the sky a while longer even after he’s finished speaking, until he’s sleepy enough that the moonlight blurs behind half-lidded eyes. iruka picks himself up, drags heavy limbs back to bed, and settles in. he sleeps better after a chat with the moon, strangely calmed by his little ritual, like the dark of the sky has brushed tendrils through his hair and kissed him goodnight.