#moonjo

To be loved is an open door. It welcomes you in with cold arms and crooked nails that have patiently waited for lifetimes to be acknowledged as worthy of, at the very least, consideration under the category of "love". You are not the first to try. You will not succeed, he's certain; he does not know how to be what you need.

You say you don't care, that you know him, that you want him as he is. You're sure, and truthful, and full of hope, and reservations because yes, you do know him, and all his habits, and all the destruction he is to bring your way that will, in no way, overrule the peace you feel when it is just the two of you alone.

But when it is not. When you're in your room and he in his own— you can think. Clearly, without the disturbance of his oh-so-magnificent brain that loves to dissect your every thought, your body's movement and read into every little reaction because that is his way of paying attention to you. It's comfort. It's suffocation. He has caged you in, and you can only glance outside when you've convinced yourself that, for just a moment, he is not keeping his tabs on you.

He is sweet. And bitter. He is the poison you micro-dose on. Take him in little by little on a daily basis until your system knows his every feel, every touch, and every word. He is all around you, and inside you, and he has an eye when you, audacious creature, think you're safe in the likes of your own mind.

He does not force himself on you. That would implode the curated sanction he has provided for you alone. He does not need to lie to keep you addicted; he does not need to change your perspective on the folk around you because you've already signed them away the moment you decided to put your focus on him.

You do not wish to stay. But you do not wish to leave. To him, that is the biggest advantage; he will have you either way— you are his, he has decided. You don't get to turn away from him.

For you? A flaw. You'd sleep better if you knew what that voice of reason, you've long blocked out, has been trying to tell you.

Your greatest nightmare wrapped in silk shades of passion and understanding. But you cannot have another snatch him away from you either, no. Perhaps you are right where you need to be