Imagine creating Pantalone segments 🤔 He is dying after all you need to keep him alive as long as possible you never know when one segment might just die
I've never had any interest in creating segments of Pantalone, as that would require splitting his soul. And I prefer him intact.
We keep him alive through the elixir instead, including quite a few doses in storage for when all the segments are inevitably gone. I sincerely doubt we would allow him to die before us. We are The Doctor, after all.
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They are useful animals, but they are not particularly interesting to me. That being said, I have nothing against them, per se. I suppose I do like them in the vaguest sense of the word.
Man I love anything that has to do with the Nod Krai quest and more specifically the possibility of us saying yes to Dottore's offer. Any fics that go with that route (even if they are very very few) are always delicious every time. Like yes Dottore I'll betray all my friends, you look hot 😭
EEEXACTLY i hate that we didn’t get a choice to say yes……….like i would absolutely go with you fuck the power of friendship 😂✌️
and I agree that all of the fics are soooo amazingtastic…….imagining dottore and reader cracking because now we’re going to rewrite the world to fit our image and finally found someone that matches our ideals……..people don’t talk about reader insert also being evil enough imo……👀
DSCP AU: Through the eyes of Columbina (pre-Zandik's death)
I did a thing! This is a rundown of Columbina's relationship with everyone in the AU, through her prespective. The plan is to do this with Scara and Pantalone, too. And then I wanna write versions for after Zandik has died.
cw for the weird ass manipulative, way-too-handsy, we're-a-family-actually-so-this-is-all-normal, i-yearn-to-be-inside-of-you-(medically-speaking-(probably)) relationship Columbina has with some of the segments
Zandik:
Zandik was immediately drawn to Columbina. Columbina, not so much. It was how there were so many of him that sparked her interest. What kind of person would split himself into different ages and have them all run around? Apparently, she was the quickest to realize there were multiple Dottores.
Zandik, the one who continued to age, seemed to get irritated over how some of the other Dottores would treat her. In fact, she quickly began noticing how a lot of Zandik's grievances were with himself. How sad... But Columbina liked him. It surprised her at first, but she soon began finding Zandik's presence comforting. Like the home she never had. What a strange man. Somehow welcoming despite often coming off as cold. Columbina found him funny because of that.
She would always follow him around. She enjoyed listening to him ramble (because it helped her fall asleep). She began opening her eyes in the comfort of the lab. She liked to sing while he played the piano. She didn't understand why Zandik was dying, and neither did he. Neither of them understood why he's become less cold in his final years either. He hasn't become kind, but his edge has noticeably dulled.
What will it be like when the foundation of this home she's come to love is suddenly removed? Columbina doesn't want to witness that. She thinks she'll keep her eyes closed again when the day comes.
---
Scaramouche:
Columbina didn't know what Irminsul was until Dottore explained it to her. Dottore talked about Scaramouche a lot, eyes lighting up as he went on and on about how unique and resilient this puppet carved from Teyvat's world tree was. Dottore clearly treasured this puppet. Like a one-of-a-kind jewel he managed to get his hands on. Columbina thinks Scaramouche is pretty like a jewel, too. His skin, made from Irminsul wood and made to imitate mortal skin, has a an almost silky texture to it that Columbina finds very soothing. Unfortunately, Scaramouche did not like being touched. He didn't really like her, either. And he especially didn't like her calling him "Mr. Puppet" or "Mr. Tree" ("Scaramouche" was too long to say).
Despite Mr. Tree constantly pushing her away, Dottore encouraged her to keep trying. So, she did. She liked following him around, too. She tried to ask him questions, but he always brushed her off. One day, out of frustration, he asked her why she was even here—what was the point of her existence? Why was she even a Harbinger? Columbina didn't really have an answer to those questions. But she longed for a "home" and the Tsaritsa had promised her one if she joined. And she likes Dottore.
There was a weird look in Mr. Tree's eyes after her response. His demeanor around her changed after that. Apparently, he decided he'll put up with her now, on the condition she stop using those godawful nicknames. They've settled for "Scara" now. Scara is very rude and a little scary, but he lets her touch his skin now, and even snuggle up to him. What a strange yet endearing puppet. Columbina is beginning to understand why Dottore likes him so much. She gets sad when Pierro sends Scara out on long mission in the Abyss, but she enjoys watching Dottore fix him up again when he returns.
---
Pantalone:
How odd. This random human Dottore had grown an affinity for looks at her with such contempt and unease. Had she done something to offend him? According to Scara, it was most likely because she was a goddess. Apparently, this human had a particular disdain for those born into divinity. Columbina didn't care for him, either. He was boring and reeked of tobacco. In fact, the only reason she wanted to be friends with him was because Dottore liked him. She wanted to be friends with everyone Dottore was friends with. He was such a frail-looking human when Columbina first met him. Apparently, he had no home. Columbina could at least relate to that.
Scara offered the advice of trying to treat Pantalone the way Dottore does. This... did not end well. Pantalone became even more uncomfortable around her. This confused Columbina greatly. Is Dottore the only one allowed to call Pantalone funny nicknames like "darling?" Human relationships are so confusing... He also reacted very extremely whenever Columbina reached out to try and touch him.
To this day, Columbina has no clue what she did for Pantalone to start liking her, but eventually, he began loosening up around her and gave her genuine smiles instead of fake ones. She's decided he's okay, too. He's still boring and smelly, but he makes good tea and has started bringing her snacks.
Hmm... Is he just trying to win her over for something?
---
Theta (8):
What a funny child. So quiet and always keeps to himself. Aren't children usually supposed to be loud and messy? Even as a child, Dottore stands out. Columbina's only ever heard him raise his voice towards the other Dottores. The other Dottores are often quite mean to Theta. Columbina doesn't like that. Why does Dottore seem to dislike his child self?
She likes to play with Theta. She taught him how to play in the snow. They make snow angels and build snowmen together. One time, after a huge snowstorm, they built a massive fortress and pelted anyone they spotted with snowballs (they got in trouble when they clocked Pulcinella's hat right off—followed by his glasses). Theta taught her how to draw different things, including these cute little Sumeru creatures called Aranara. He also taught her how to make hydrogen cyanide (which also got them in trouble).
Columbina always gets a strong sense of loneliness from Theta. It makes her sad. Theta is her best friend. She wants him to be happy, so she'll spend as much time as she can making him smile.
---
Delta (18):
The most polite Dottore. He always looks at Columbina with such reverence whenever she uses her kuuvahki. It reminds her of the Frostmoon Scions, but with less expectations, and more just pure wonder. Maybe that's why she doesn't mind it coming from him.
Despite his fondness of her, he gets annyed quite easily. Columbina takes great advantage of that, because he's funny when he's irritated. She likes to poke hm until he swats her hand away. His cheeks get red when she touches him or gets super close to him. It's cute.
He's a little boring, though, all things considered. He shouldn't be this boring yet at his age. Columbina thinks some of that comes from how he seems to get competitive towards the older Dottores. It's pretty one-sided, though. Maybe he doesn't like how they look down on him. That's something he and Theta have in common. Columbina thinks those two should get along, but they fight a lot, especially over her. How confusing...
---
Beta (21):
Unnervingly quiet one minute, then super loud the next. He laughs a lot, and also scowls a lot. Lots of mixed signals from this Dottore. Sometimes, he calls her "Lady Columbina" with a big grin on his face. Sometimes, he just nonchalantly says "you" while ushering her over. Sometimes, he looks at her like she's his favorite thing in the whole world. Other times, he barely even acknowledges her presence, and even insults her.
So odd... Columbina still isn't sure if she likes this Dottore or not. He gives her a headache. But she enjoys singling him out and getting the others to dogpile him. So, he's good for that at least.
---
Lambda (25):
The most exhausting Dottore to deal with. He's polite (in some ways), but he's... a lot. "Lady Columbina" this, "Lady Columbina" that, over and over again, always following her around, grabbing and holding her hand in his, looking at her with such idolization... Columbina gets the feeling she should feel flattered, but it's honestly just tiresome. She's taken to using her kuuvahki to either go invisible or teleport somewhere out of reach whenever she spots Lambda excitedly rushing towards her. He's always complimenting her, always agreeing with her, and so, so, so clingy.
Lambda is like this with Scara, too. Scara told her if Lambda gets too handsy, just call out his behavior in front of the other Dottores, and they'll deal with him.
---
Omega (cunt):
Omega is mean. Mean to her, mean to Scara, mean to Pantalone, mean to all the other Dottores. But even Columbina can tell how much he likes her, and Scara, and Pantalone. He gets possessive of the three of them. Is he jealous of himself? How strange!
Columbina wasn't one to get jealous, but she found herself growing frustrated over not understanding why Dottore treated Scaramouche and Pantalone more intimately than her. Why did Dottore enjoy strapping those two to tables, cutting them open, and injecting weird liquids into them? How come Dottore only enjoyed bossing her around and telling her to use kuuvahki over and over on various things until she was exhausted?
Omega was kind enough to explain it to her. "You're the only sister of this strange little family of ours. Naturally, we're more protective of you."
That answer didn't sit right with Columbina. So, she's treated differently because she's seen as more... fragile? Precious? That felt unfair to her. If they were all family, she wanted to be treated equally. Omega promised her he'll start doing exactly that. They'll have their own special relationship, just between the two of them, where only he will strap her to his table and cut her open.
Columbina agreed.
---
Epsilon (45):
He's very quiet. He used to confuse Columbina with how he would simply just watch her from afar. This Dottore isn't one for physical contact, much to Columbina's dismay. But he's an excellent listener. Columbina certainly isn't a talkative person, but she finds herself talking more with him. He doesn't talk much either. His responses are often curt or just "hmph."
Columbina can't tell if Epsilon despises Omega or actually really likes him. She's noticed Omega is the only one who can truly ruffle Epsilon's feathers. And yet the two dress very similarly. She likes to poke fun at him about that. It's funny seeing Epsilon frown and grumble.
---
Omicron (65):
A very strange old man with a funny mask. Columbina likes him. And the mask. Outside of the lab, Omicron treats her like a fair lady, always offering his hand despite needing a cane to walk. He doesn't speak much when out in public. Doesn't really need to. When he isn't busy, they go out together, sometimes to the opera, or sometimes to browse the markets. Columbina has noticed he enjoys collecting little trinkets, so she sometimes gifts him some. He's very honest, and will tell her if he likes the gift or not, but he's always grateful nonetheless. He buys her things, too, like dresses and hair accessories. She also tells him if she doesn't like a gift. He seems to appreciate that, even chuckling at times.
In the lab, Omicron isn't very nice. He sees Columbina as less of a person and more of just another test subject. He handles her as if she were a mannequin and doesn't respond to her complaints. He never shows an ounce of remorse, unlike the younger Dottores. All things considered, Columbina hates when it's his turn to experiment on her. She tries to hide, like a cat scared of the vet. He always finds her, though. So annoying. But that's just family, so she'll endure because she still like likes him. Plus, he gives her head pats afterwards.
---
■■■:
Columbina started sensing him shortly after an incident where Omega destroyed an experiment Zandik was working on. She didn't know what the experiment was. Zandik had kept it very secret. Omega really didn't like the project, so he destroyed it. That's all Columbina really knows about what happened. ■■■ doesn't have a body or even really a voice. No one else can sense him. So, Columbina tries to make sure she's alone when she talks to him. ■■■ can't speak back. Columbina doesn't know anything about him or what he is, and neither does he. He reminds her of Theta, if Theta wasn't Zandik. Hmm... Does that make sense? She gets the feeling Dottore wouldn't like ■■■. He'd probably be mad if he found out ■■■'s existence. Does ■■■ even exist? What a strange friend, but a friend nonetheless. Columbina will keep him company, because she gets the feeling he's never experienced what it's like to be loved.
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What would you say the going rate is for your gender-affirming surgeries? And is there a Fatui discount?
Mn... I actually don't remember. I'm sure we have it written down somewhere. If not, the Regrator might know; I believe Omega mentioned the prices to him once in passing.
I am under the impression that we do have a Fatui discount, yes. But we can do nothing about procurring you leave beyond a doctor's note unless you are one of our subordinates specifically.
I removed the render on Zandik's model to make them look similar, but the difference is still visible. Hoyovers, we hope you'll remake the old character models someday...
