#moonbump

Don't think we forgot about how you were caught playing with your moonbump during your 1 and only tour at the Meyhew Clinic---squatting down with your knees together.

The same day you threatened to selfcide yourself & an unborn baby because you & Sparry were boo'd at the Cirque du Soleil performance.

You forgot to tell NOprah how you went a full day without any selfcide ideation. You were flooded with endorphins from petting the animals & physical touch from your NYC bff.

You were happy all day until your mask slipped in Royal Albert Hall. EMBARRASSED because you were boo'd by the audience & Sparry publicly REJECTED your claw.

You were boo'd for poor job performance. Your claw was rejected because Sparry needed claw-free hands to clap for the special guest.

You and Daniel posted a photo of your disgusting avocado toast, hot tea & chocolates. You gushed about what a wonderful visit the two of you were having, just like old times...

Daniel flew all the way from NYC to London to do your makeup for the engagement but you lied to NOprah.

You told NOprah you were alone and couldn't skip the event because you might commit a murder. You lied to NOprah about your makeup. You told NOprah you had to put your makeup bag in the sink and just get yourself ready for that event.

You lied. You and Sparry lied.

You brag about how easy it is for you to cry on demand and yet somehow you managed to cry throughout the performance without shedding 1 tear from your left (or right) eye.

Thanks for reminding the world that you trauma bonded yourself to Sparry & the BRF by naming your website after their missing (abandoned) Jack Russell Terrier dog named TIGger, and their (abandoned) nannny named TIGgy.

A few hours after squatting in 4 inch heels with her knees together, she's wearing a beachball under her dress & needs Harry's help just to sit down in a chair.

And that coat is still NOT chic or elegant!!

In Trouble with mummy

Victoria is an actress in a long-running tv series. When she finds out that this season, her character is going to get pregnant, Victoria is initially annoyed; she doesn't think this direction makes sense. But she's a professional, so that night she goes home and talks to herself in the mirror to get more in-touch with her character, get into a headspace where she can commit to this subplot. To her surprise, the reflection talks back. The character tells Victoria that she's actually very excited to become a mother. She says that Victoria has already caused her to feel so many painful things, it would be nice to have a domestic plot where she actually gets some pleasure for a change.

The next morning, the executives show Victoria the prosthetic belly she'll be wearing while filming this season. Victoria asks if she can take the belly home to wear it in her free time; the executives applaud her method-acting and remind her that she should also gain some weight to make the belly look more convincing. Some extra pounds would look good on her anyway. She's not supposed to wear the belly for the first couple episodes, but as soon as Victoria gets home, she tries the belly on in front of the mirror. She practices her lines with her reflection and admires how strange it feels wearing the prosthetic. Throughout the week, she wears the belly more and more and even starts having the classic pregnancy symptoms, binging on weird cravings, complaining of various sensitivities, and even wearing it while having sex with her boyfriend. Ratings for the show is up and Victoria's agent's phone is ringing off the hook. It looks like everyone agrees she looks pretty hot in this moonbump. Still, when the subject of the paparazzi comes up, Victoria gets confused: It sounds like the tabloids actually think she's pregnant. "Of course they know you're pregnant," responds her agent, "Once you started to show, it was kind of hard to hide". Wait... does Victoria's agent think she's pregnant too??

Victoria undresses in front of the mirror, her reflection reminding her to keep calm. Victoria screams; she can't take off the prosthetic! Her pregnant belly is suddenly real! She had thought she felt movement earlier that day, but she assumed those feelings were just in her head. The character in the mirror tells Victoria that this is a good thing; now her baby can play the baby on the show. When she goes into work the next day, it seems like everyone else in the world - the executives, the director, her co-stars, her agent, and the rest of the whole media circus - remembers her announcing her IRL pregnancy a few months ago - the writers were even annoyed that they had to change the script to make this direction work for her character! The only other person who remembers the belly ever being fake, is Victoria's boyfriend. Unfortunately, this just makes her boyfriend suspicious that this baby might not be his.

"Deceptions are being dealt with."

In the comments, TLF say, "Maybe before 2023 end we may have a better idea. I know, so far!"

Hmm, wonder which deceptions?