Here you go @nightingaelic ! 'Lucky' Ricky Gee and his wife Sofia have a brahmin on their homestead farm. She's a bit of an old gal who likes to kick but still grants them the creamiest milk now and then. 'Moo-Maw' grazes on the lush Appalachian grass near the famous Cowspots Creamery.
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So Iâm pretty sure if Bitty was afraid to come out to his parents he was also terrified of coming out to his Moomaw, whoâs even more southern and old fashioned, but honestly that couldnât have gone better because all Moomaw has ever wanted was someone to cook for and wowee can that Jack Zimmermann eat.
Bitty might have spent that summer before Senior year with Jack and didnât see his parents for months on end but Iâd be damned if they didnât get a temperature-sensitive weekly delivery ďżźof Moomawâs best.
Bittyâs in MooMawâs kitchen, helping her with the last batch of pies for the Fourth of July. Jack is helping his parents set up outside, putting his height and muscles to good use. Deep breaths, you can do this. Right as he gets ready to ask, MooMaw breaks the silence.
âNow, Dicky, why donât you tell me whatâs bothering you. Youâve been tenser than a mouse in a cat parade this afternoon.â
âSorry, MooMaw, I didnât mean to be. Itâs just, uh â I was wondering, um,â he exhales sharply before just blurting out, âIwaswonderinâifIcouldhavePopPawâsringtoproposetoJack.â
âOne more time love, these olâ ears didnât quite catch that.â
âI was wonderinâ, well, hoping, I could maybe â if you donât mind â and if you do thatâs totally fine I wonât be mad or anything â if I could have PopPawâs wedding ring.â
âPopPawâs wedding ring?â
âUh-huh. To propose to Jack.â
âNow Dicky, I know Iâm a little out of the loop, but I could have sworn I got a very excited phone call from your mother the day you graduated sayinâ you were engaged to the tall glass of water out there.â
 âMooMaw.â
âWhat? Itâs not like Iâm dead! Heâs a very attractive fellow,â she says, a wicked grin lighting her features. âBut arenât I right, yâall are engaged arenât ya?â
âYes MooMaw, he proposed to me and I said yes,â he says, kneading the pie crust dough a touch too hard. âI just â I wanted to propose to him as well.â He looks up from the dough to look her dead in the eyes.
âI want him to feel as amazing and wanted and loved as I did when he proposed. It was one of the best days of my life, MooMaw, and I love him. Why wouldnât I want him to get to have that feeling too?â
âOh, Dicky,â she cries, throwing her floury arms around him, âyouâve grown into such a wonderful man. I know PopPaw would have been proud to see who youâve become.â She pulls back to wipe her eyes.
âOf course you can have the ring. Itâs mean to be worn, after all, does no good to anyone just sittinâ in my jewelry box.â
âThank you, MooMaw.â Bittyâs not crying. Heâs not. Oh who is he kidding, heâs totally crying.
âI just â I thought it might be a sort of good luck charm. Yâall were married so long and you loved each other so much I just thought â â
âI already said yes, Dicky, thereâs no need to make me sob young man,â she says thickly, âyou stop being so emotional right now, we have pies to make.â
âYes, maâam,â he says, kissing her on the cheek before turning back to the dough.
Step one: complete.
_X_Â _Â _X_
âBITTY!!!!!â
âYOUâRE HERE!â
Bitty canât help but beam as he walks up the sidewalk toward the front door of Haus 2.0.
âHi you two, Iââ Heâs cut off with a noise that doesnât sound human as heâs scooped up by Ransom and thrown into Holsterâs arms. These boys.
Theyâre all laughing by the time Bittyâs feet are on the ground again.
âItâs a good thing Iâm not making a pie 'till later, I wouldnât want to try and hold onto one while flying through the air.â
âBro, we would never endanger a pie!â Bittyâs never seen the two of them look so offended.
âGlad youâre here, Bitty. It hasnât been just us since we lived in the Haus!â Holster says.
They get inside and start on a six pack and get down to business.
âAlright so â it came? And neither Shitty or Lardo saw it?â Bitty asks.
âGot it right here, bro.â Holster hands him a small box pulled from the highest cabinet behind a collection of ugly vases.
âDo we get to know what this secret package is?â says Ransom.
âYeah, plus I need your help with the second part,â Bitty says as he carefully opens the box. He gasps. Thank god for Etsy, it looks perfect. They even managed to get his cowlick to stand up.
âUhhh, Bitty?â
âHmmm?â
âNot that it isnât stupidly adorable â look at the little C on your jersey â but why do you have a Lego version of yourself? No, better question, why was it secret?â
âBoth excellent points, Holtzy.â
âThis is how Iâm going to counter propose to Jack.â
Thereâs a beat of absolute silence and thenâ
âHOLY SHIT BITTY!â
âThatâs GENIUS, bro!â
The congratulatory screaming only dies down when they hear a door slam down the hall. Oops I guess we were being a tad loud for the other roommate.
âYou said you needed our help for the second part?â asks Holster.
âYeah, I want to make a Lego-sized version of the âyo marry meâ sign but I couldnât remember the colors or layout well enough and I know Shitty has it in his closet.â
âBitty, bro, your brain is so big. Our little frog, all grown upââ
âOh hush you two,â he says, swatting them playfully, âNow then. I donât think it has to be Lego-sized because Jack will never be able to read it, but I think if we scale it down to about postcard size thatâll work as a nice backdrop.â
âAye aye, captain.â
Itâs a nice afternoon, and itâs hilarious watching two huge and broad-shouldered men hunch over a tiny piece of cardboard, arguing about font size while he makes a pie.
Well two pies. But one is mini pie as an apology to the random roommate. They may not be âdown to motherfucking clownâ but Bitty knows his friends (and himself) can be a lot to deal with.
Bittyâs just put the full size one in the oven when Ransom and Holster finish.
âYâall⌠It looks great. Thank you so much.â Bitty didnât think a sign that ridiculous would make him cry but thereâs definitely some tears.
âGot your back, Bitty,â Ransom says.
âMama Mia while we wait for the pie?â He laughs a little as Holster pumps his fist in triumph, âIâll just nip this stuff out to the car for safekeeping while yâall set it up.â
Step two: complete.
_X_Â _Â _X_
Everythingâs finally ready.
Heâs got the Lego-Bitty, with Ransom and Holster's sign as the backdrop. He made a pie for later (and about three kinds of cookies - so sue him he was nervous). SeĂąor Bun is probably tired of having to listen to Bitty rehearse his speech by now. PopPaw's ring is nestled oh-so-carefully in Lego-Bitty's hands. Now he just needs Jack to get back from practice.
so today my guest lecturer for one of my classes is âProfessor Moomawâ
I already know heâs a dude but Iâm still 100% expecting some sweet southern old lady to come tottering through the door and talk to us about veterinary medicine but also go on tangents about jam, and how good of a baker her grandson is, and that she just met his boyfriend whoâs such a nice young man and perfect for her grandson, etc etc
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day 5 of #omgcpwomenweek: sexual/gender identitiesÂ
Zelda didn't know there was a word for it when she was young. Well, she knew there were words that described it as immoral and wrong and disgusting but after Dicky brings his boyfriend home for the first time, Zelda gets comfortable in her favourite armchair and opens up the Google on her iPad to ask its opinion of the best recipes for showing youâre supportive of your gay grandson and all his choices.
Somewhere along the way, Zelda taps on something that brings her to about the different types of sexualities and she pauses when she sees that the list is longer than hetero- and homosexual. Her eyes catch on the word bisexual and she brings the screen close to read the description. Her mouth goes dry and she puts the ipad down for a moment. She takes her reading glasses off, and lets them dangle from the chain around her neck while she rubs at her eyes. Theyâre very wet all of a sudden.
Thereâs a word.
Thereâs a word to describe how she feels.
Thereâs a word that she can use to talk about herself and the relationships she had before she met Owen- god rest his soul- and reading it settles something at the base of her spine.
âBisexual,â Zelda whispers to herself, liking the way the word curls around her tongue. âIâm bisexual.â She touches her cheek and laughs; the words together feel like coming home, like taking a pie out of the oven at just the right time.
With shaking hands, Zelda brings her iPad back into her lap. She presses the button at the bottom to leave the internet article and swipes screens until she finds the green icon for facecalls. She looks at the list of names, family members from all over the state, but scrolls through, knowing exactly who she wants to talk to.
âHi Dicky,â she says smiling when the call music cuts off. âI hope youâre well baby.â She takes a deep breath. âThereâs something I want to tell you.â