May 11
Jaune: "Happy mothers day mom!"
Momma Arc: "Aww sweetie you got me the chocolates I like!"
*momma Arc gives Jaune a hug*
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Jaune: "Happy mothers day mom!"
Momma Arc: "Aww sweetie you got me the chocolates I like!"
*momma Arc gives Jaune a hug*
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Lost in The Nowhere & Nothing...
Jaune: *Wounded, possibly dying, drifting in non-existence* Well... hngh... this fucking sucks...
?????: *A body immaterialises into a non-euclidean physical form*
Jaune Miles-Luna Arc...
Jaune: Egh, full name...
?????:
I am here to claim your damned soul, as has been agreed upon the time of your demise.
Jaune: Oh, hey... Darkie...
Brother of Darkness: *Slumps in mild disappointment*
I was certain we had established you would not call me "Darkie".
Jaune: Wasn't part of the contract. Tough luck.
Brother of Darkness: *Huffs a non-possible breath*
No matter. Your soul is mine!
Brother of Darkness: *Tries to pull Jaune's soul out*
Jaune: ...
Brother of Darkness:
...
Jaune: Nothing's happening.
Brother of Darkness:
I AM AWARE!
Jaune: Okay, okay... no need to shout.
Jaune: ...
Jaune: Do I hear a phone ringing?
Brother of Darkness: *Stops pulling*
Huh? Wait, that would be mine.
Brother of Darkness: *Unpockets a tiny, human-sized, flip-phone*
Jaune: *Suppressing a snicker* Pfft. A flip-phone, really? In this age?
Brother of Darkness: *Flips open the phone and accepts the call*
Shush, mortal. We need reliability in The Nowhere & Nothing- Brother of Darkness speaking. Who-
The Profane Contract Management Affairs Department?
The Arc Dossier?
It is under moratorium?! For how long?
Indefinitely?! Who ordered that? I am the sole controller of contracts!
Jaune: Heh... that's corporate for you.
Brother of Darkness:
Hmph, no kidding.
Yes, I am still here.
...
Uh-huh...
I... huh?
Okay...
Brother of Darkness: *Hands Jaune the phone*
It is your mother...
Jaune: Ugh... kill me now.
Brother of Darkness:
Not until this contract business has been concluded.
Jaune: Damn it... *Takes phone* Hi mo-
Momma Arc: Jaune Miles-Luna Arc!
Jaune: Ugh, full name again...
Momma Arc: What is this I hear about you selling your soul to Darkie?!
Jaune: Ma, it's just business.
Momma Arc: Just. Business?! You are my son! Your business is my business. What could you've possibly traded your soul for anyway?!
Jaune: A solid shot against Cinder Fall, the false Maiden, murderer, madwoman, and overal miserable being.
Momma Arc: Agh, you fool boy. You got that transactionalism from your father's side.
Jaune: And the drive for vengeance is yours...
Momma Arc: Well, no Arc soul, divine or profane, is a negotiable resource.
Jaune: Neat... can you at least get my out of this... place? Non-place?
Brother of Darkness:
The Nowhere & Nothing.
Jaune: Yeah, that.
Momma Arc: Egh, that stupid place is a one-way street only. Best I can do is just send you on your way to Ever After.
Jaune: The what now?
Brother of Darkness:
Ugh... Mother's place...
Momma Arc: Don't you "Ugh" me, mister! After my boy's back in Remnant, we are going to have some words.
Brother of Darkness:
Oh, joy...
Momma Arc: Pah! Anyway. Jaune, my dear little imp...
Jaune: Yeah, mom?
Momma Arc: Your soul is mine.
Jaune: Okay, mom.
Momma Arc: Now, off you go. Ever After is going to a weird one. Portal will open soon. Ta-ta! *Hangs up*
Jaune: *Blinks owlishly at the flip-phone* Well, that happened.
Brother of Darkness: *Takes phone back*
Manager of the year for the past millennium. Quite the... force of personality.
Jaune: Neat...
Jaune: *Feels and tastes a portal opening before he sees it* Ah, guess that's my exit.
Brother of Darkness: *Awkwardly waves goodbye*
We shall settle the contract a different way, at a different time.
Jaune: Guess we wiiiiiiii- *Gets sucked into the portal* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHH!
Portal: *Closes with a pop*
Brother of Darkness: *Floating in The Nowhere & Nothing*
Hmmm... Nothing to do and Nowhere to go out here, so I might as well...
Brother of Darkness: *Opens flip-phone again, starts playing Snake*
Hehe... silly little snake...
Thicc Arc
OK so random thought. What are your thoughts on Momma Arc being chunky?
Hello? Mrs. Arc?...Hi, does your son get emotional when he drinks?...Well, he's had about 8 beers and is crying about how much he misses someone named Pyrrha...Sure here he is. *crosses bar* Dude, talk to your mom.
“No! Leave me alone grayfaces!”
Aur sighed “Give me a moment.”
*banging on the door* JAUNE MILES ARC! YOU CUT THIS PUN WAR NONCENSE OUT RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN! I DON'T CARE IF SHE STARTED IT, AND IF YOU CAUSE ONE MORE CATASTROPHY, YOUR FATHER AND I WILL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!"
“You’re not my mom!!! Seriously my mom is right here.”
“I much don’t care for being impersonated dear anon.”
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Alright, we'll leave you be, Mrs. Arc. But, before we go, your daughter asked us to give you this (hands over DVD titled "The Adrian Collection")
“Ah yes, my adorable grandson. I will cherish this and use it as more reasons why my other children should make me more, especially Jaune.”
“Ah crap.”