Hey so this is linda urgent? I'm trying to write a sex repulsed ace character and i'm not sure i'm doing it well... How do i do this????
This is sort of a broad question and Iâm not sure how to answer it. This is our myths about asexuality post and this is our post on ace/aro stereotypes. Theyâve both got links to more resources, so theyâre good if youâve got no idea where to start!
Itâs important to note that only some ace people are sex-repulsed. Iâm not completely sex repulsed, but I can try to share some experiences Iâve had that might help you. Before I begin, I want to note that sex-repulsed ace people can and do still have sex, for a multitude of reasons that arenât anyoneâs business. However, some common ones include wanting to conceive and wanting to please a partner. We go into this more deeply in the myths about asexuality post.
SoâŚI am fundamentally uninterested in sexual relationships. They donât have any sort of bearing on what I think or do or feel. When I come across sexual stuff, I avoid it. I groan and walk out of the room or pull something up on my phone if itâs a scene in a movie or tv show. Usually kissing and touching is okay, itâs really sweet! But thereâs a line (itâs different for everyone) and when itâs crossed I get uncomfortable.Â
When I see sexual stuff, Iâm annoyed, in a âcome on, this againâ sort of way. I also get really uncomfortable knowing that people thought about me sexually at all. Thatâs something thatâs definetely not just an ace thing, but god, it gives me anxiety attacks. Also, I donât assume situations are sexual/romantic when (apparently) they are and it leads to awkward interactions. I chat with someone because theyâre nice and then they ask me out and I freak because thatâs what you thought?Â
Honestly, the thing to remember is that ace people are fundamentally people. Being sex-repulsed means that sex isnât really a part of our lives, but thatâs just one little piece, and trust me, we find plenty of ways to fill our extra time. I mean, the internet, for one. Video games? Cooking? I honestly donât think Iâm missing out.Good luck with your character!