#mobbtalks

With Helena, combat tends to be ‘I roll to hit. I roll to hit. I roll to hit.’ And it’s great (now that I’m actually hitting things) because Helena does boatloads of damage, and also that’s how Helena is, she’s singleminded! She’s locked tf in!

With Cindy, I’m going fucking nuts. I’m running around like a cat with the zoomies. I’m frolicking. I’m catching bullets midair and throwing them back.

But what happened tonight.

We’re in a house under siege by a collection of undead. I, before the siege started, managed to spot their vehicle from a second story window, so while everyone else was defending the house I was scuttling out the window, sprinting across the yard, and stealing their wagon

Now, unfortunately, their driver & also their attack dogs were right there. The dogs jumped into the wagon and started trying to bite me, but simply could not match my AC. the driver tried to shoot me, but I caught the arrow/bullet, and flung it back, so then the driver also got into the wagon and at that point I realized my plan had gone from ‘run over the guys at the front door’ to ‘I am now driving a fun package of bonus guys to fight’ so I did a pristine 3 point turn and started driving into the night

Wagon has a movement speed of 50. Dm allows use of dash, so with the 3 point turn factored in I manage to get 60 feet off the edge of the battle map.

This is where it goes wrong.

If I do my turn right, I can move 120 feet. I decide to bail out of the wagon (full of things attacking me) and try to cut the horses free as I go, so they can’t turn around and come back.

I roll acrobatics to get out of the wagon.

Natural one.

Reroll burning a luck point.

Natural one.

I fall out of the wagon. Dm tells me to roll acrobatics to see if I fall under the horses or not.

Natural one.

I take seven points of bludgeoning damage.

I am now at 20/22 hp.

I pick myself up, brush myself off, and sprint 100 feet in order to arrive directly behind the guys trying to break into the front door.

We run out of time for the session to keep going.

The dolphin???? From dolphin shoals?????? Like okay yea yeah moo moo meadows cow phenomenal show stopping the dolphin shoals dolphin???

What comes to mind is the upheaval decaying almost all the weapons. I can imagine Ganondorf picturing Link, without the master sword, unable to find a suitable replacement. Man has no idea that this Link spent an entire previous game beating bokoblins to death with their own skeletal arms. He’ll use sticks. Mops. Torches. I once saw a man kill a lynel with a bookshelf.