#mlb oc

Just updating the old list and adding the Chaos Class. (I will add Imaginative after @fayflutter updates it)

@booksrbetterthanpeople @msweebyness @imsparky2002 @nerdy-chocomallow @natedogx15

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For @kittysuicoffee 's Miraculous Next gen

Alfonse Arcangelo

Alfonse is the only son of Felicia and Eric Arcangelo, in a family full of all sisters both young and old. Alfonse was known throughout of the school for the gossip monger/information handler due to his insane photographic memory but also for his sly flirting to both boys and girls to get said info. Which says a lot about determination on getting things either way possible

Spend most of his time either boxing in his parent's gym or helping out with deliveries of his eldest sister's shop.

It's an AU based on "What if...?" And I wanted to add Felix (my favorite character), as the holder of the Ladybug Miraculous.

I also created an original character who will be a Chat Noir here, but he will be based on a Siamese cat. (His name is Dante Moretti), he is from Italy but lives in Paris with his parents.

It's still in process as they're thinking about which characters to move.

And part 2 has arrived! This time with the Science Kids (I was gonna do them with recess, but I only had come up with ideas for Victoria, Mason, and DJ, so... it will take a while for their turn).

TW: violence, abusive boyfriend, bullying, suicide baiting, sexism, and the usual haunted class unpleasant topics.

@booksrbetterthanpeople @natedogx15 @msweebyness @imsparky2002 @fayflutter @nerdy-chocomallow

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Dear lord...I just got over an artistic block. So... I'm back!! A few little drawings here and there.

Shizuke Midorikawa was just an average boy who lives in an apartment above a flower shop with his grandmother. Blair Crawford was a fairly famous girl who models part time with her brother but dreams to be something else. They had nothing in common… Until a monster attacked their school and they received magical jewelry that allows them to transform into superheroes. A next gen AU set in the distant future. A remastered version of my own fic.

CHAPTER 7: A CONCERNED BROTHER’S REACTION TO THE LOVE SQUARE

This is the story of how I fell into shipping hell.

0-0-0-0-0

{LADYNOIRE}

It was a rainy Saturday night, and what better way to spend it than waste away in my room and rot my eyes off by spending hours on the internet? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Like everyone else living in this city, my search history is filled with searches for the Miraculous.

They're kind of a big deal.

Especially now that Helios City has their very own Ladybug and Chat Noire. They're even fighting their very own Hawkmoth. It's like watching the history of this magic-made city's founders unfold a second time.

If the last pair to wield them got to reshape an entire continent and will huge self-sustaining cities into existence, then it's only natural people would have high expectations for the new heroes. Only time will tell how far they'd go… If they'd even make it that far.

But that's not what I wanted to research about.

Finding the topics about them that I specifically wanted has been getting harder and harder to find with all the traffic the new heroes are causing on my feed. Not even the Ladyblog, written by the former Fox Heroine Alya Cesaire has what I wanted to know…

“What’re you searching for?”

“What are you doing in my room?” I spun my gaming chair to face my twin sister, who was laying stomach first on my bed reading something.

“I was bored,” she rolled herself over so she was lying on her back. “And so what if I’m in your room? We used to share a room all the time,” she swung her legs up before she flipped herself to stand.

I rolled my eyes at her attempts to evade my question. “Does this have something to do with the weird smell in your room? You better not be trying to spread it here.”

Seriously, her room has been smelling awfully funky lately and I hope my room doesn’t start smelling like hers soon.

She stiffened for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, before she groaned in mock defeat.

“Fine. I came for your comics!”

Blair waved what she had been reading earlier, which turned out to be one of my issues of The Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir – not the current duo, but the previous ones from a century ago. So epic were their legend that people still make adaptations of their stories.

“What did I tell you about buying your own comics?” I said in a stern tone and folded my arms across my chest.

Those comics are limited editions and should be handled with utmost care! Written and drawn by the famous French comic duo Marc Anciel and Nathanaél Kurtzberg!

“The same thing I told you whenever I catch you playing with my action figures, to which you’d reply, ‘why buy my own when I can borrow yours for free?’,” she grinned smugly, “Great life philosophy, bro. Wise words I now live by.”

My brain failed to give me an answer that wouldn’t make me sound like a hypocrite so I chose to shut up. I should’ve known she’d use that against me some day.

Blair stretched her arms up carelessly in the air as she walked over to me and my desktop and looked over my shoulder to read my latest web searches.

“Why are you searching for LadyNoire?” she said, full of disdain as she spat the word.

“Lady-what?” I asked, annoyance temporarily forgotten.

“LadyNoire,” her nose scrunched in irritation. “It’s what people call the ‘romantic relationship between Ladybug and Chat Noire’ these days.”

“The what now?”

“Exactly bro. People are crazy. Their relationship is purely platonic!” she finished her vent with a face-first flop to my bed.

“I don’t know sis. Pretty sure Ladybug has a crush on Chat Noire.”

Thinking about the bug hero, he does get flustered around the cat heroine when they’re not busy fighting akuma. It’s as clear as day whenever the Ladyblogger interviews them. He looks at her like she hung the flipping moon or some romantic stuff like that.

“No. He just looks up to her because she’s super cool.”

Honestly, I think that’s part of the reason for his crush on her. But being the older and wiser twin, I know when an argument is moot so I chose to just hum in agreement rather than continue fighting her on this. If Blair wants to believe there’s nothing romantic between the two heroes, fine by me. She's entitled to her own opinion.

Personally, I think they’d make a good couple. I just wouldn't be bummed if they don't end up together. At the end of the day, they're only connection to me is saving my sorry butt whenever an obsessed fan akuma happens to target me. We are complete strangers. And I'd rather not have a strong opinion on who they should or shouldn't date… As a model, it wasn't fun being on the receiving end of that. I'm not about to do the same to others.

Seeing as I probably won't find what I'm searching for by looking it up the internet, I decided to give up for now and close all my tabs. It was a longshot I'd find anything like this anyway.

Blair stayed quiet for the rest of the night and continued to roll around my bed while taking out more of my comics. Anything I say about her getting her own stuff went completely ignored.

When it was getting late, Blair let out a big yawn and made her way out the door, not bothering at all to clean up the mess of comic books she made- aside from the Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir, there's also Trials of a Queen Bee autobiography of Chloe Bourgeois, A Fox's Expose and a Turtle's Secrets duology, Hisuikame of the New Dawn, an assortment of comics written and drawn by Marc Anciel and Nathanaél Kurtzburg... What's with all the Miraculous wielding superheroes? Could she also be curious like I am? She better not-

Before she left my room, she gave me an ominous warning.

“Blake, you’re so innocent when it comes to the horrible world of shipping. Please stay that way and don’t let Keagan corrupt you too.”

Those are the words of wisdom I wished I’ve taken to heart and followed to my dying breath.

0-0-0-0-0

{SHIZUBLAIR}

Now, what really kickstarted my dilemma happened at that fateful lunch break a week after the Poppyrazzi incident.

Normally, Blair and I would find a nice quiet place to eat our packed lunches together. Sometimes, we’d eat out somewhere that has private enough booths as a treat. It's all about moderation, Mrs. Liung would say. Diets shouldn't about eating less but about eating just right.

But then there are days like today where my dearest sister just disappears and I have no idea where she went.

“Oh, you too? Shizu’s also been disappearing a lot lately,” said Fiona, in between chewing her lunch.

During those days when Blair would flake on me, I end up having lunch with Keagan and Fiona. We’ve bonded after they saved me from Poppyrazzi and realized we have something in common: We’re all kindred spirits in getting ditched by the people closest to us.

“Hmm… Now that I think about it, whenever he disappears, Blair’s missing too,” Keagan dropped his thinking pose and adopted what Blair likes to call his signature ‘shipping grin’. “Secretly dating, perhaps?”

Fiona and I rolled our eyes. Leave it to Keagan to somehow make this all about romance. Of all the people, he just had to pick on my sister.

“That’s unlikely,” Fiona flatly said.

I hummed my agreement. Blair and Shizuke hardly interact. And when they do, they don’t get along. Shizuke is the last person in school that I could imagine pairing up with Blair. They’re just so… different. And I don’t just mean that in the ‘Beauty and the Geek’ sense. I never would’ve thought of them as a potential couple until Keagan just had to suggest it!

“Oh come on! It’s not that ridiculous!” Keagan said defensively.

“If he really is crushing on Blair, everyone would’ve known,” Fiona countered, her icy blue eyes casting a glare that can stop anyone cold.

Good point. The way he glares every time he sees Blair, I think it’s clear to everyone that he doesn't like her.

“But what about that one time you suggested it after you found all those magazine clip-“

“Kaji, that was a joke,” Fiona firmly said, her pupils quickly darting towards me before glaring back at Keagan to keep quiet about it.

Keagan's mouth formed an "o" as he blatantly stared at Blake, nodding in understanding.

Fiona covers her face in embarrassment at Keagan's lack of subtlety.

… I miss my twin. At least she wouldn’t make me feel like a third wheel.

“Oh, right, the brother is here,” Keagan said, suddenly remembering I exist. He turned to face me, grin growing wider as he did so.

I scooted away from Keagan, my instincts screaming at me to run away.

“Kaji, no,” Fiona muttered as she gripped her fork in a threatening manner.

“Do you mind if I ask what kind of person would you approve of for your sister?”

Seriously? Is this what most guys would talk about over lunch? Meh. Whatever floats his boat.

“He must never make her cry,” I answered in my typical neutral voice.

And beyond general awareness of the person she’s dating, it’s none of my business. Age, race, religion, gender- it doesn’t matter as long as she’s happy. But if they hurt her, it officially becomes my business.

For now, it’s the farthest thing down my list of concerns. We have more than enough to deal with. School, work, fans, akuma… Working up the courage to talk to Natalia in my case… And Blair never mentioned anyone she’s interested in. She hasn’t even experienced her ‘first love’ yet! That’s why I don’t bother to think about it too much.

Keagan pats my shoulder with a look of approval on his face.

“That’s a good answer, bro. I can respect that. I really do.”

I raised my eyebrow at Fiona, tilting my head to Keagan, hoping she’d explain Keagan logic.

“Kaji also has a sister he’s overprotective of. An older sister. One who happens to be a champion fencer who’s more than capable of taking care of herself and any jerk who breaks her heart.”

Ooh, way to hit a nerve there. The last part felt more like it was directed at Keagan than it was at clearing up my confusion. It sounded almost like a warning.

Keagan got the same vibe too as his russet eyes glared at Fiona, but the girl was completely unfazed and shrugged it off.

“Long story. Don’t ask,” Keagan stiffly muttered.

“Sure,” I solemnly nodded to my fellow protective brother. Even if our sisters are a force to be reckoned with, it wouldn’t be enough to stop us from looking out for them or going after the jerks who hurt them.

At this, Keagan dropped his glare and he’s back to being all smiles. Little did I know at that time, but this conversation was the start of my descent into madness.

“Miraculous! Simply the best! Up to the test when things go wrong!~”

And then someone’s phone rang. I was not surprised to see it was Keagan’s as he excitedly whips it out of his pocket. After one look into his phone, his smile drops and he hunches over the table staring at his phone in disbelief.

“Oh no…”

“What?” Fiona was looking warily at Keagan, her lunch temporarily forgotten.

The three of us were still with suspense, until Keagan yelled the cause of his misery.

“I missed an akuma attack!”

Fiona and I did matching face-palms.

0-0-0-0-0

Half way through lunch break, Shizuke came back and offered to give Keagan and Fiona free desserts at the bakery as a peace offering for ditching them. He offered me some free desserts too, but I declined. I need my daily alone-time after socializing with Prince Extrovert and his dashing Knight in shining leather boots.

For the rest of the afternoon, the duo were looking anxiously at Blake the whole time during class. As soon as bell rung, signalling the end of classes, Keagan and Fiona ambushed me at the lockers. The two dragged me to a shady corner to promise me that no matter what happens we’ll always be lunch buddies and to apologize in advance on Shizuke’s behalf.

“For what…?” I asked.

The duo took this moment to bicker on who’s going to answer. There was so much whispering and whining and ‘You’re stronger and more intimidating than me, you do it!’ and ‘It’s your idea, take responsibility!’ in between so much shoving and glaring. After one last icy cold glare from Fiona, Keagan finally gave in and took a step forward.

“Shizu believes your sister is Hawkmoth.”

Whuuut. How on earth did he jump to that conclusion?! If she was Hawkmoth, I should’ve known by now! There is no way my annoying sister is secretly masquerading as a supervillain. She’d sooner gut herself with a spoon than go down the path of villainy! Our parents, bless their souls, would be so disappointed in her and she wouldn’t want that…

(There was a long pause as Blake quietly stood there, staring into space as he thought of every single reason he could think of as to why his twin isn’t secretly masquerading as a supervillain. Keagan and Fiona started getting uncomfortable with his lack of response.

“Uhh… Blake? Are you still in there?” Keagan worriedly asked, waving a hand in front of Blake’s unseeing eyes.

“I told you this was a bad idea! Now there’ll be two of them after Shizu,” Fiona said, readying herself to jump between the two boys if necessary.

“Relax Fuyu, he’s just shocked. Give him time to-”

“’time to-’ what?! Time to plan Shizu’s-“)

… There’s a lot of things I wanted to say about how impossible that is, but all I could say was a dumbfounded “Whyyy…?”

Keagan took a deep breath before his usually sunshiney smiley face drops to a flat scowl. I thought he was going to say something serious, but then his way of explaining things was just…

“Well, Shizu was like ‘There’s so much evidence that point to Blair being Hawkmoth. This can’t be a coincidence!’” Keagan was trying his best to imitate Shizuke’s voice. He even mimed adjusting his glasses. “And I was like ‘Dude, there is no way Blair would be caught dead wearing the evil office lady look. She can’t possibly be Hawkmoth’ because let’s be real, Blair would’ve made a much hotter and flashier villainess than Hawkmoth.”

I glared at Keagan as I cracked my knuckles as a wordless threat.

Fiona took the hint, slapped her hand over Keagan’s mouth and continued their exposition.

“The point is: You know Shizu. The word ‘subtle’ doesn’t apply to him.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Fiona thought carefully to find just the right words to phrase their concerns without triggering me into protective brother mode.

“One day, he might go overboard with this crack theory and do something that would piss off your sister. We’re here to prepare for damage control and we’re kinda hoping you’d help.”

“Sure. But if things get out of hand, I’ll side with my sister.”

Mostly because she can be scary when she wants to be and she plays dirty. I’ve learned it’s best to stay on her good side.

“Fair enough,” the pair said simultaneously.

And the three of us shook on it. Just as we were about to walk out of school and pretend our conversation never happened, we saw them. Keagan, curious monkey that he is, pulled us back to hide behind the lockers so we can spy on them.

“Will you please leave me alone?! I have homework to do!” Shizuke shouted, trying to walk around Blair

Too bad he’s no match for my nimble twin who effortlessly blocked his path without taking her eyes off him.

“No you don’t. We’re in the same class, remember?”

Blair playfully smirked as she grabbed Shizuke by the neck tie and pulled him down so they were ‘growling’ face to ‘smirking’ face.

“If you don’t have anything else to do today, why don’t we hang out?”

Shizuke’s face may have gone as red as my hair, but he still refused to back down. He fixed his glasses in a not-so-subtle attempt to cover his blush, pulled his tie away, folded his arms close to his chest and stood up straight to glare down at her.

“What do you want?”

Wow. He’s actually kinda intimidating when he puts his foot down. He could give Fiona a run for her money.

Sadly, it did nothing but made my sister grin wider.

“I want us to be better friends.~”

Shizuke is not amused. His blush is completely gone and his glare intensified, glasses gleaming menacingly.

“Why now?”

“Oh nothing. It just occurred to me that we’ve been classmates for almost four months now and we still haven’t talked to each other much.~”

Shizuke folded his arms over his chest. “There are plenty of other people in class you could bother with this. Why me?”

“Why not?~”

They continued their stare off until the bell rang, signaling the end of club period. Shizuke took this as a signal to run away from my fearsome sister, all huffy and red faced. She didn’t try to stop him this time.

Blair on the other hand just stood there with an amused smile at Shizuke’s flustered retreating form as he disappeared within the crowd of athletes down the hall.

“Interesting,” I commented under my breath.

I’ve never seen my sister go after a guy with no ulterior motive before. At least it seems like it. What could she possibly gain from the class president anyway? A free hall pass?

I was about to ask my fellow eavesdroppers about their opinions on this weird development, but one look at them and I got all the answers I need.

Fiona was pulling the brim of her hat over her face in embarrassment, while Keagan is taking pictures with his shipping grin on.

“Yeah, interesting indeed,” Keagan dreamily said with sparkling eyes.

And this is the moment I knew there was no turning back.

0-0-0-0-0

Since then, Blair started laying it thick with the flirts on Shizuke. With Shizuke’s loudness, it wasn’t long before everyone noticed. Just about everyone’s taken an interest in my sister’s strange fixation with the loudmouthed nerd. It’s like a rom-com came to life. I guess everyone’s a little interested in watching the ‘Beauty and the Geek’ trope playing out in real life, and there’s no one who embodies that trope better than Blair the popular model and Shizuke the class president.

As her brother, of course I was curious too.

“Is there something going on between you and Shizuke?”

I just had to ask her as we were walking back to the Liungs’ together. We rarely get to do this anymore because aligning our photo shoots got trickier with akumas attacking the city delaying one or the other's photo shoots.

“Huh?” she asked, loosening her arms that were crossed behind her head.

She’s playing dumb. We’re twins, of course I could tell.

“You’ve been… how do I say this?” I ran my hand through my hair.

How does one accuse his sister of flirting with weird guys without being insulting?

Blair started to snicker.

“Aww, is bwotha deawest scawed of wosing his sista to a boyfwend?” she mocked, putting both her hands over her heart and batting her eyes exaggeratedly.

“No! That’s not it! I was just wondering-“

“Chill bro. Shizuke doesn’t like me like that,” she barely held back a cackle when she said; “He thinks I’m Hawkmoth. Could you believe that?”

My eyes widen and I almost choked on thin air when she said that. She knew.

And she’s just laughing it off as if she isn’t offended at all.

“But what about you? You’ve been hitting on him lately. Do you like him?”

Woops. I didn’t mean to blurt it out that bluntly, but I just did. Too late to take it back.

She went quiet for a second to absorb what I just said. Blair’s lips curled to a grin reminiscent of the Cheshire cat.

“Maybe?” she said before going back to laughing.

I gave her the most unimpressed look I could muster.

I never got a straight answer from her, so I never bothered asking her about it again. If she really knew what she feels about the loudmouthed nerd, she would’ve just told me. Looking further into it will only result in a headache of confusing feelings I am not prepared to help my little sister sort out.

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if she ends up dating Shizuke. After he gets it through his head that Blair isn’t Hawkmoth, I can see him treating my sister well. While Shizuke may be a hyperactive academic zealot, I think he’s a nice enough guy. He was nice enough to offer me free food. He’s probably the sort who’d remember dates and sincerely apologize if he’s ever late. Even better, he’s not the sort who’d just let Blair step all over him. He’s got a spine. He’d make a dedicated boyfriend. Keagan and Fiona will surely attest to that.

Most importantly, he can make her smile. Not the picture perfect smile she gives the photographers, or the smirk she gives everyone else - but a more unguarded smile she has whenever she’s around people she’s comfortable with, like friends and family… or when she’s watching funny cat videos on Youtube.

I was suspicious at first about Blair being suddenly keen on befriending-slash-flirting-with Shizuke, but it wasn’t long before I just got used to it and stopped questioning it. Judging from the amused look on her face, she’s probably just doing it because she finds him amusing.

This is just a strange fling at most. For now, Shizuke Midorikawa is nothing more than her new entertainment system.

0-0-0-0-0

{LADYBLAIR}

About two weeks after ShizuBlair – Keagan is a terrible influence for teaching me how to name relationships – started, LadyBlair happened.

That was the sixth time an akuma went after one of us twins. To sum it up:

Charmer was the first, followed by the male equivalent, Stunner. They were after us on the same day. I learned that throwing food at an akuma made for a wonderful distraction and that Blair had terrible acting skills and lacked originality in terms of escape tactics by ripping that tactic off of me.

After them was the Un-Secret Admirer, who declared to the entire city that I will be her boyfriend while she tied me up on a flag with a heart. I’ll give her an A for presentation, but an F in naming sense.

There was not a single man in Helios who didn’t pity Mr. Right. Even Ladybug winced when Blair kicked him in the nuts. I almost felt a little sorry for the entitled jerk. Almost. Not that it would stop me from doing the same to him given the chance. I just think it's better to let Blair do it on her own. It sends a message better.

Poppyrazzi at least made some effort in naming. Keagan, Fiona and I became friends after that particular attack. A friendship I am now starting to regret.

Stud Muffin was the latest monstrosity who followed this trend. Hawkmoth must’ve been running out of ideas to name him that.

After this akuma, a shipping war – why do I even know this term? – in the Ladyblog forums somehow started. It was Blair versus Chat Noire over Ladybug.

As celebrities, this shouldn’t be new to us. We’ve paired up with different models that, according to some photographers, we’d make an aesthetically pleasing couple with. We had to work with some of them more than others, to the point that there were a few articles of a rumored relationship going on- some of the rumors we intentionally left alone - stoked, even - to promote ourselves.

Blair took advantage of the hype to further her career and came off as a... well... I'd rather not think about it lest I pop a blood vessel. The less said about the sleazy men counting down to her 18th birthday, the better.

While when I did the same, the magazines just dubbed me as a bad boy heartbreaker with a tragic past. It appeals to the fan girls who want to "fix me" and be the first girl to get me to "let down my guard for" after years of hardly trusting anyone. The fanfics are writing themselves.

The publishers aren’t even trying to be subtle about the double standards. Meh. We’re getting paid for this anyway.

But I never would’ve dreamed that either of us would be shipped – Keagan stop adding unnecessary words to my vocabulary – with a superhero! Much to my relief, it wasn’t me. The heroes are great and all, but I’m just not into them that way. But my sister is kinda available…

Then again, staying by the side of a hero is not all fun and games. The thin chain of our family's locket burned coldly around my neck. We should know better than anyone.

Danger follows those who wield the Miraculous after all...

“You know Blair, if I didn’t already ship LadyNoire, I would’ve shipped Ladybug with you instead,” Keagan teased Blair.

I shot a glare at Keagan. It’s his fault for planting that idea in my head.

“Ah, but there’s a risk to dating a superhero that I’m just not willing to take. I wouldn’t want to be seen as the perfect hostage for the akuma to target and force Ladybug to give up his Miraculous for me,” Blair answered like the professional she is.

Welp. She’s not interested.

Good.

That’s the end of that.

0-0-0-0-0

{SHIZUCHAT}

Admittedly, it was kinda funny to watch Shizuke’s head turning to wherever Blair puts Keagan’s phone. It was kinda like watching a cat video... Coincidentally, the video Keagan’s phone is playing just happens to feature a certain cat themed heroine.

If someone asked me yesterday what I’d imagine Shizuke’s ideal girl would be like, I’m sure ‘wild, red haired girl in a skin-tight leather cat suit’ wouldn’t come to mind. But lo and behold! He couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.

This guy’s got a huge crush on Chat Noire. That lovesick look on his face can rival even Ladybug’s. It’ll be a miracle for any girl to catch his attention, even if the girl in question happens to be a famous model.

Sorry, Sis. You just lost to a crackship. This just sunk any chance of ShizuBlair ever sailing.

It will never be canon!

… Keagan, why did you teach me your shipping ways?

0-0-0-0-0

{LADYNOIRESHIZUBLAIR}

And now for the day I regretfully learned of a concept I wish I can unlearn.

“Guys, have you heard that the heroes were having an argument yesterday?”

The five of us were having lunch together. For some reason, both Blair and Shizuke were out of it today and were napping on their sides of the table, their lunch completely forgotten at their side. As the nice twin brother that I am, I did my sister a favor and tied her hair into a messy ponytail to keep her hair out of her food.

“Kaji, I was there right next to you. They were screaming about getting ice cream or something,” Fiona piped up.

I raised a brow at that.

The two sleepyheads finally woke up.

“Well, after asking around the Ladyblog for videos or sound clips of their argument, I compiled them based on the time they were recorded and this is what I got,” he explained, before playing the recording on his phone.

“[-z-z- -z-zzz-- our bond!]”

“{No!}”

“[-zz-- contacting –zzz--zz- --zz-z-!]”

“{No!}”

“[--zzz-z-- --z- --zz--z- together without anyone bothering us!]”

“{No!}”

“[-zz--zz-- -zz-z-- running away zz-z-z- -z-z-zzz- --z-z- -z--zz- zz--zzz-z- -z-z- -zzz--zz- -zz--zz-z-!]”

“[---zz-- -z-z- -zz-z- hiding -zz--z-!]”

“{No!}”

“[Fans -z-z-zzz- -z-z-zzzz- -z-zz-- -z--zz- get ice cream together -z- -zzz-zz-z--!]”

“{No!}”

Half of the audio was hard to make out due to wind turbulence since the heroes were quickly swinging around the city. I could barely make out their words. The leather kitty ears must be functional if Chat Noire actually understood whatever Ladybug had to say for her to keep replying.

“Any idea what they could’ve been talking about?” Keagan asked.

That shipping grin on his face tells me he already has a theory.

“… I have no idea what I was just listening to,” Fiona admitted.

“Kaji, maybe you should just leave them alone,” Shizuke groggily suggested as he fixed his glasses on his face, his usually properly combed hair and neatly pressed shirt in disarray.

“Yeah. If they have a problem, it’s their business,” Blair haggardly agreed, skin weirdly pale, dark circles under her eyes and her hair tied in a plain misaligned ponytail I worked so hard to put it in.

… Wow. For once, these two actually agreed on something.

“But that’s no fun. Besides, they’re just harmless theories. It’s not like I’m trying to unmask them or something,” Keagan whined.

Blair stiffened right beside to me. Guess I’m not the only one dreading what Keagan’s latest shipping theory. I know for a fact that Blair hates LadyNoire.

“Spill,” I ordered with complete resignation, just to get this over with.

Keagan grinned my way. “Gladly.”

Keagan takes out a notebook and roughly sketches chibi style heads of the iconic hero duo. He drew a two way arrow between them with a broken heart above it.

“The heroic duo had an argument and possibly broke up…” he explained, as he drew another chibi head.

This time, the head looked like Blair. He drew a line to connect her and Ladybug with the arrow pointing towards Blair and labelled it with a heart with a question mark.

“… because Ladybug was in a rush to get back to famous teen model Blair.”

He then drew another arrow from Blair, this time the arrow is pointing towards the broken heart on LadyNoire. The arrow was labelled with a smiley.

“Blair was probably pretty happy that LadyNoire broke up because she’s an anti-shipper,” Keagan said with a pout.

Blair frowned back at him, but did nothing to deny his claim.

Keagan isn’t done yet. He was drawing yet another chibi head. Judging by the glasses, I think it’s supposed to be Shizuke. It’s hard to tell. Aside from his glasses, Shizuke is pretty nondescript, especially when drawn even more simplified as a chibi.

He connected Blair’s chibi head to Shizuke’s with an arrow pointing towards Shizuke. This arrow is labelled with a winking smiley with a small floating heart. Flirting smiley?

“… But she’s more interested in class president Shizu than Ladybug.”

Shizuke’s glasses gleamed menacingly at Keagan.

Keagan drew another arrow, this time from Shizuke pointing to Blair. It’s labelled with an angry face.

“Shizu on the other hand is still holding a petty grudge towards Blair. And even if he does forgive her…”

Keagan added another arrow, from Shizuke to Chat Noire. This one is labelled with a heart.

“… He’ll never look her way because he’s too besotted with Chat Noire.”

“HEY!” Shizuke piped up with his face turning red, standing up with his hands slammed on the table. His voice actually cracked. “DON’T TELL OTHER PEOPLE THAT!”

“Wait, was that supposed to be a secret?” I couldn’t help but retort out loud. With how obvious he was, I thought he just didn’t care who knew!

“Apparently, yes,” Blair helpfully answered.

“Shh…” Fiona effortlessly pulled Shizuke back to his seat with one hand before rubbing circles around his back in a comforting manner. “Everyone already knows, Shizu. It’s no big deal. No one’s judging you.”

Shizuke grumpily scowled.

“Where was I? Oh, yeah,” Keagan said, drawing another arrow from Shizuke towards the broken heart on LadyNoire. The arrow was labelled with a confused face. “While he does have a huge crush on Chat Noire, he ships LadyNoire, so he has very mixed feelings about their break up.”

He drew another arrow, pointing from Chat Noire to Ladybug. This one is labelled with the word ‘tsundere’.

“Chat Noire still has feelings for Ladybug, but is upset with him.”

Another arrow is added, this time pointing from Ladybug back to Chat Noire. This one is labelled with a heart, this time with polka dots. And antennae.

“While Ladybug feels bad about upsetting her and is trying to make amends so they can get back together. That’s why they were arguing all around the city. It makes perfect sense!

He wanted to fix their bond.

He’s been trying to contact her but she won’t pick up her phone.

He wants to go somewhere together where no one can bother them.

He promises Chat Noire that he’ll never run away from her to be with a model.

That she doesn’t have to go hiding from him and seek comfort from fan boys.

He was offering her a date over ice cream as a peace offering to fix their relationship!”

Keagan was standing and panting by the time he was finished explaining his crazy theory.

All he got from us was awkward silence. He gloomily went back to his seat and picked on his lunch, muttering about missing his internet friends who appreciate his fan theories better.

Blair and Shizuke simultaneously laid their heads down on the table and continued their nap. Fiona shrugged and continued eating lunch. Sometimes, I envy how she can just roll with the craziness surrounding her two best friends.

“Well that was something,” I muttered to myself, still absorbing the whole theory.

The love square blew my mind.

It was something so complicated, so mind boggling… And yet I can’t look away.

It’s like one of those cheesy soap operas. It annoys me to death and I would want nothing more than to smash my head against a wall from the sheer absurdity of it all. Everyone involved in that mess is an idiot!

At the same time, it’s so fascinating. The possibilities, the people involved… I feel like I want to root for them. I want everyone involved to find their happiness. I want to watch it to the end. See what happens next. Where it goes.

Four people. Four ships.

It’s beautiful. It’s frustrating!

The worst part of it all is that my sister’s involved, and yet I find myself rooting for Ladybug the most. He loves Chat Noire! He deserves to be happy! He saved our lives! LadyNoire should be canon!

I am trash.

No, I am worse than trash.

It made me wish for a jar of brain bleach.

CURSE YOU KEAGAN GERALD AURELIO ASHWORTH FOR INTRODUCING ME TO SHIPPING!!!

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