#mjjfans

Music — Michael Jackson x black, female oc

To me he is magnificent, nobody else compared. To me he is the embodiment of purity and the innocence adults tried desperately to hide—however tragic it may seem to others. In my eyes he can do little to no wrong; we all make mistakes, don’t we?

These thoughts that linger in my mind always become most prominent late at night while I’m trying to go to sleep or working on a project for him. And I always end up writing them in my journal, just as I am today, for safe keeping, for hiding my feelings amongst these blue lines of secrets. Where I can fully admit to myself that I am, indeed, in love with Michael.

But, I certainly am not the first to come to this realization…and I certainly won’t be the last. And that truth hurts most of all.

I close my notebook with a long sigh and rest my head on my arms. Reading over my words caused a rough pang in my chest and I immediately wanted to stop writing. “Isn’t this too much?”

These feelings were too bothersome.

—

“Axelle, I need your help, do you think you can come over today?” His voice was sweet and coated in calming raindrops, causing a shiver to run up my spine. “Yeah, what d’you need help with?”

“Choreography…and maybe a song or two,” he hummed thoughtfully. I nod to myself. “I can do that, I’ll see you in a bit.”

A wave of disappointment overtakes me as I hang up the phone. I don’t know what I expected, or why I keep getting my hopes up every time I answer his calls. He’s completely oblivious and I’m turning into a wreck over something I have yet to tell him—more less show him. I groan, “Erugh—he’s so annoying.”

Sitting up from my comfortable position on my reading chair, I stretch and get ready for the longest drive I’ve ever taken, the drive to Neverland.

—

“Let’s add a few more steps to the beginning and I think it’ll be finished, yeah?” I breathe out hunched over and looking at Michael through the mirror.

He gives a tight nod as he gasps out his own raspy breaths. His umber eyes meet mine in the mirror and he smiles slightly. “Do you wanna stay for dinner?” I grin. “In other words, you want me to cook, huh?”

“I like your fried chicken,” Michael laughs guiltily, “Sue me.”

I finally came to a stand with a half-hearted chuckle and shake of my head. “Fine, but I’m staying the night.”

“That’s fine by me,” he shrugs, “I wouldn’t let you drive this late anyways.”

My heart skips a beat at that. He meant nothing by it; we’re just close friends, Axelle, remember that.

“It’s dangerous out there for women.” He only cemented that fact.

—

I inhale a deep breath, stretching my arms behind my back, as I balance myself on a fallen tree and glance up at the sky.

Due to Neverland being hundreds of acres long the sky was breathtakingly beautiful. The night was starless but the moon seemed to shine brighter than the sun because of that. It was large and white and brought a soothing to me that I couldn’t quite comprehend. I smile.

I couldn’t help but to be reminded of Michael.

It was rather late, though, I hadn’t bothered to check the time before I had waltzed out of the house, it was definitely some time past midnight.

It had been hard to sleep—clad in one of his collared shirts—and I had decided to get up and go for a walk to clear my head.

My feelings were still quite foreign to me, and some times felt like somebody else’s unrequited love, but once my heart starts spiraling and my brain pounding with emotion, I’m reminded of the fact that this love is mine. And no one else’s. And, yet, I’m still not the only one to come to that conclusion.

A fierce gust of wind whips past as if to agree with my thoughts. I sigh, “How bothersome.”

“What’s bothersome?”

I quickly turn around with wide eyes to be met with Michael’s tired expression. “What’re you doing out here Axelle?” He mumbles wearily. I rub at my neck awkwardly, “I, uh, couldn’t sleep.” He raises a brow at me—emphasizing his disbelief—hopping onto the log and standing next to me. “Axelle…you walked an hour away from the house, I drove here on one of my go carts,” he deadpanned.

“Huh?” I blink stupidly. “An hour!” Michael nods slowly. “I guess I must’ve been too deep in thought to notice.”

We stood there for a moment after that, basking in each other’s presence. And, just then, a few stars casted their glow from behind darkened clouds and shadowed canopies. “So…what were you thinking about?” He asked the question as if he knew the answer, and that tone gave me all the more reason to respond vaguely. “Uh, y’know, life.”

He glances at me, a disheartened look etched on his tan features, “That’s it? Just life? Nothing else?” I stare at him. “What else did you want me to say?”

He shakes his head. “Never mind, forget I said anything; let’s head back before you catch a cold.”

Slightly hesitant to leave the beauty of night I follow after Michael who trudged towards the go cart a few feet away. What was that all about? I ponder as I sit down next to him in the passenger seat. “Ready?” I nod, “Yeah…”

—

The wind was quite playful later on that morning, dark clouds dotting the azure blue sky here and there. And the scent of sweet rain loitered in the air. “It’s going to storm soon,” I murmur to myself.

I exhale a heavy breath and close my eyes, enjoying the cool breeze and greying weather.

“You’re up early.”

I smile at the words that sounded behind me. “We got back at four last night…I never went back to sleep. It was truly bothersome.”

Michael hands me a large cup filled to the brim with iced coffee (a bottle of orange juice preoccupied his left hand). “I couldn’t sleep either.”

I grinned against the cup’s edge. “By the way, how’d you find me last night?”

“I was out there to enjoy the night myself when I saw you,” he runs a hand through his curls with a short giggle, “You scared me half to death, y’know.”

I chuckle. “Sorry…I’m sure it was funny, though.” I sip at my coffee, crush gnawing in my chest. I am completely hopeless, aren’t I?

—

Michael sat a little ways away from me, a distant and concentrated gleam in his eye as he scribbled down on the paper in front of him. There were loads of papers covered with lyrics or musical notes scattered about the table. He hummed a small tune quietly to himself.

I hum along with him as I write my own set of notes.

After a while he slouches back against his seat, satisfaction etched on his features. “That sounded nice.” I nod, glancing up at him, “I wrote some of it down.”

“You already know I can’t read that.”

I grin, “Then, aren’t you glad I’m here to help?”

His smile is wide as he replies, “Of course I am! I’m extremely grateful for you, Axelle.”

My heart skips a beat again. “And I’m grateful for you, Michael.”

More than you know. And more than I dare to tell you.

—

Some times I find myself caught in a situation like this. Where he catches me looking at him intently and we now found ourselves staring at each other for minutes—eons—on end. I was always the one to look away. But, this time, for the very first time, he blinks the trance away and turns back towards the food on his plate.

It was evening time once again. Heavy rain pattered on the roof and danced on the window pane.

The two of us had been eating in silence for the last ten minutes. I was beginning to become anxious. Did he have something to say? Did he want me to leave? With how hard it was storming I doubt that a possibility. Then, what could it be? How bothersome.

“Do you, uh—“ I look up at him as he stammers out a question, “—do you wanna watch a movie after dinner?”

I raise an eyebrow at that. “You don’t wanna keep working? The song’s almost done.” Michael shakes his head, “No, I just wanna spend some time with you…that’s not work related.”

“Aww,” I grin, “Well, how could I say no to my dear friend? What movie did you have in mind? Peter Pan?” He smiles back. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. Let’s have some ice cream, too.”

—

“I like you.”

The confession was abrupt and rushed and almost made me drop my ice cream.

I turn away from the children flying across London on the tv as a loud crash of thunder roared across the sky outside. My eyes are wide as I stare at his awkward expression. “You what?”

His teeth nip at his bottom lip, averting his nervous gaze to the movie, and I could see him shiver as my stare continued. “Ummm…I like you.”

I blink. “Huh—well, this is rather easy. I thought I would be the one to confess in a few years at your wedding to some random lady that I’d glare at every time I saw her.”

“What…?” Michael sends me a weird look. I shake my head with a light chuckle. “Never mind. That doesn’t matter because I like you, too.”

His smile is large and bright and beautiful. “I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you say that.”

“I thought I hid my feelings quite well,” I huff. He shrugs, “You did, I actually had no idea how you felt but, I wanted to take a chance.” I smile back and lean in close. “I’m glad you did. I can finally do this now.” Before he could question what I meant my lips brush against his for the briefest of moments. But, it was enough to determine that his lips were, indeed, the softest and he does, in fact, taste the sweetest.

“Mmmm…I think I might get addicted to kissing you Michael.” Michael’s laugh is loud as he throws his head back in amusement. “That’s fine by me.”

“Good ‘cause I’m about to do it again.”

Thriller night~