Today I find myself missing Uganda more than ever. I miss the happy children and the unique culture. Then, I started to think about how blessed I am, and the things I take for granted daily. Even after my mission trip to Uganda, I still find myself standing in front of a fridge full of food saying, βUgh, we have nothing to eat!β When I remember that some of the Ugandans barely had enough food to survive. Or when I say, βWow, Iβm starving!!!β I remember the fights between the slum boys to make sure they got food (or tried to get more). Some days I even find myself saying, βMy life sucks, I hate my life, etc.β When the truth is, I am blessed beyond measure with a life that I do not deserve. It is days like today when I miss the things about Uganda that I love, I am also forced to think about Uganda's corrupted government , the extreme poverty, and the epidemic of STIs. I remember the gasoline cartons that the poorest of the poor stiff to relieve the intense hunger pains. I remember the babies I held at the Dr. Emma's Clinic, that were sick, or underweight, etc. I remember Rahima, and the way that the boys would shout things at her in Lugandan; and the way she tensed up when they did. It is days like today when I wish I could go back in time and smack myself for being so self-centered and ungrateful. I ask God why I (the chief of sinners) was given such a blessed life, with a roof over my head, a closet full of clothes, and a fridge filled with food. While the joyful and precious children I met in Uganda are malnourished, sick, and starving. While I know that the answer to that question I may never know this side of heaven, I know that EVERYTHING has a purpose. And while I cannot bring home all of the children I met in Uganda with me (no matter how much I would love to), I can use the means that I have to share the love that Jesus Christ has shown me with them. I can share the ultimate necessity of life with them: salvation. Because no matter how bad things get in life, as long as you are saved, your eternity in heaven will be infinitely greater. As a Christian, it is my (as well as the church's) responsibility to spread the love of Christ. It is also mine and the church's responsibility to use the blessings God has given us to help the suffering, like those in Uganda. It is days like these where my peripheral vision is interrupted by the epiphany that so many people never have, "I DON'T MATTER AS MUCH AS I THINK I DO (shocking, I know)." So, if anyone is reading this thinking that I'm self-righteous because I'm a Christian or because of I went to Uganda, etc. PLEASE know that I have sinned just as much as anyone else and the mistakes I've made, and the things I've done would shock you (aka you probably wouldn't want to touch me with a 100 ft pole). I'm just reflecting on my life (not feeling sorry for myself, or even for Uganda). It is days like today that I look back on my life (btw I just graduated High School) and into a new chapter, with pages that have yet to be written; with endless opportunities and possibilities. It is today that I take a step back and ask myself how I can bless not only the people I met in Uganda, but also everyone who is suffering? How will I use my future to benefit the future of others? The pages have yet to be written, but (as bold as it is) I want to use the blessings God has given me and my future to help those in need. God calls us to help the widows, orphans, needy, etc. And that is exactly what I am going to do. The biggest problem I have is figuring out how to do it.
