Missing Out.
So.Â
Let’s wander and wonder for a bit.
Because, first and foremost, I haven’t done much of this for a bit.
Life happens and when it does, my main focus is to survive and I tend to drop everything else to the sidelines and just, try to make it through the days.
So we end up with a lot of missed time.
And that usually means I have missed out on things.
Like keeping up my relatively consistent streak of at least not falling behind by a day or so.
Like getting through the awkward phase of running a blog for a month with the barest hint that people actually read through my crappy ramblings.
Like getting the satisfaction of least knowing that I am screaming into the Void of Tumblr, even if the moron never seems to scream back.
I miss out.
And as someone who tends to overthink and often doubt, when I miss out on things - even the small ones that comes from doing a little thing like this - I get anxious.
And trust me, this tends to happen a lot.
Enough that, when it started for this round, I just, quit.
It was a weird feeling.
To be missing out and slowly realizing that it might not matter as much as I wanted it to, which resulted in that inky blackness that some, if not all, of us have at least seen in our lives.
And when you live with the inky blackness, missing out becomes a lot less stressful and a lot more dangerous.Â
But, a wander for another time.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here, even if I have been silent from screeching for a week or so.
Yes, I have missed out and yes, you have as well, and yes, I will probably be backtracking and uploading more than usual to catch up, but.
It’s probably okay.
Because we’ve only missed out on a week.
The rest of our lives are waiting, even if the doubt and the sense of failure and the desire to quit try to hang around for a month after.
I will deal and you will deal and maybe we can help each other deal with the things together.
Because let’s be honest here.
We all kind of are the friend like me.
