Stanley stood on the deck of the Stan O' war, watching, mesmerised, by the twinkling stars lighting up the night sky, casting a soft glow that reflected in the ocean below. A mixture of utter peace and disbelief leaving him strangely nostalgic, safe in the knowledge that his brother was just inside as he reminisced.

It was unlike anything he could have hoped for, all the years dedicated to getting Ford out, the desperate hope that he was even still alive. Now? Living the dream they'd shared since they were small, there was nowhere else Stan would rather be, even the cold chill rolling off the water, hands growing stiff and breath fogging in the night air, couldn't dampen his spirits as he let his mind wander.

"There you are Stanley, I was wondering where you'd gone off to." Ford's voice trailed from behind him, stepping out onto the deck as Stan turned to look at him with a acknowledging hum.

"I thought I told you to wrap up, it's freezing out here." Ford continued, shivering slightly as the chill caught him by surprise, raising a brow at the snort he received in reply.

"Ah, can it sixer, it ain't that cold. You're just used to wearing turtle necks in the summer." Stan poked, smiling as he made out the faint, playful scowl crossing Ford's face.

Before Ford could muster a retort, however, the shadow he cast moved as he went to stand next to Stan, illuminating his brother's face in the light of the cabin, a shocked gasp flying from Ford's mouth as he made out Stan's pale face.

"Moses, Lee, how long have you been out here?!" Ford pushed forwards, grabbing Stan's hands with a hiss as the icy digits met his own, concern growing by the second as he noticed the pale blue tinge to Stan's lips and then barest shivers wracking through his limbs.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Stan yelped, his usual resistance weakened by the wide startled look in Ford's eyes and the cold sinking deeper into his flesh by the minute, unnoticed until now, under the sudden burning of heat of Ford's hands.

"I-I'm sorry, I should have noticed how long you were out here, we need to get you inside right now. Are you feeling ok? Do you know where you are?" Ford barreled through, causing Stan's head to spin with the onslaught of questions as his twin dragged him into the boat.

"Woah, hold up Ford, I'm not having a memory lapse, I just got caught up watching the stars, you don't need to worry-"

"With all due respect, you're borderline hypothermic and you couldn't even tell! This could be a symptom of the memory gun, Fiddleford mentioned micro-lapses were a possibility and I didn't- Ugh, now is not the time, let's get you warmed up and then we'll talk. Ok?"

Stan huffed at Ford's words but relented, throwing a huffed "Fine!" over his shoulder as he watched his brother storm into their bedroom, bringing back blankets and a hot water bottle before Stan could raise any more protests, shrugging off his jacket with numb, aching digits.

"Look it ain't that serious" Stan began, once he was settled in, their portable heater standing guard at his feet whilst Ford came to sit beside him anxiously, noting the increasing tremble in Stan's sluggish arms with a mixture of unease and relief. "I just got caught up out there, I'm fine, honestly."

"You say that but- Stanley, please, I know you think I'm overreacting but you could've been out there for hours before you noticed, what would have happened if I hadn't come to check on you?" At Stan's unimpressed expression Ford slumped backwards, leaning into the plush cushions as he met Stan's eyes.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you, this could be a sign of a major incoming lapse, or- or something even worse. I already hurt you so much, the least I can do is make sure you-"

"What? Don't walk myself off into the arctic ocean because my brain conked out? Have a lapse and forget how to breath?"

"No! Stanley you know that's not what I meant. You could get sick! And I-" Ford protested, the haunted look receding from his gaze, replaced with one of indignation and horror.

Stan sighed, sitting up with a groan as his joints protested the movement whilst Ford fumbled over what he could say, nearly missing the sheepish smile shot his way.

"I know Ford, honest. I get you're worried, but I was just distracted." At Ford's disbelieving frown Stan nudged him, smirking as his brother huffed even as the tension drained from his shoulders.

"Look, I'm not saying you weren't right, maybe I was out there too long, but I'm not keeling over just yet. So stop blaming yourself when I've already forgiven you. Ok? I've survived more than a bit of radiation."

"I know," Ford muttered, smile faltering as he relaxed into Stan's shoulder. "I just wish I could have done something different, it feels like I keep making the same mistakes. Leaving you to fend for yourself, assuming you'll be ok... Even just now, that could have been something serious."

Stan felt more than heard the way Ford's breath stuttered, his big brain no doubt racing with countless scenarios in ways Stan could get hurt.

"Eh, even if it was, we'd handle it together. So don't go beating yourself up over what-ifs, you hear? Hell if I can survive 30 years without a kidney, a little cold shouldn't bother me."

As the words left his mouth, a throwaway line meant to cheer Ford up, the light air he'd been going for sank like a heavy weight in his stomach, reality dawning too late for Stan to take it back as Ford tensed beside him.

He'd never told Ford that... Fuck.

"What was that?" Ford asked, voice colder than the water surrounding them as he shifted to look Stan in the eye, watching the various emotions swimming past Stan's face, regret, fear, guilt quickly masked before he could dig deeper into Stan's mind.

"What was what?"

"Don't play dumb, Stanley, I know you know what you said. Do you- do you only have one kidney?"

The silence was all the admission Ford needed as he shot up, heart thundering with an unrelenting panic.

"You- I can't believe you Stanley- God, do you know how many complications that comes with? If you get sick or-or even food poisoning!" Ford's voice cracked as two hands flew to his scalp, grabbing at the grey strands and pulling as he struggled to find his breath.

“Woah, easy buddy, it’s alright, I got a spare for a reason.” Stan tried to appeal, watching the indignation rise, flushing his brother’s face, enough to break him from his spiraling thoughts to instead whorl around and face Stan.

“You- I- Stanley. This isn’t a joke, at our age, with your history- and now this? Moses, what was I thinking?! I should have gotten us both checked out before we even stepped onboard. Something as simple as food poisoning could seriously affect you renal system and I didn’t even think- Not to mention the possibility of hypothermia out here! Even if you avoided it this time, theres still a chance-”

“FORD!”

Stan’s voice cut through Ford’s rant quickly, plunging the two into a heated silence as Ford caught his breath, chest rapidly expanding as he struggled to find a rhythm with the crushing pressure weighing him down.

“You’re ok and I’m ok. We’re both here right now, and nothing is going to change that alright?” His voice softened as Stan crossed the room, laying a hand over Ford’s from where it was pulling at his turtleneck’s collar.

“We’re going to be ok. With your emergency kits and Fidd’s doohickeys, there’s nothing else we need to prepare for alright? Like I said, I’ve been living without it for 30 years, even if I do get a cold from this, it’ll knock me down for a few days sure, but I’ll get back up, I always have.”

In lieu of a response, Ford let out a low keening whine, hands instinctively curling around Stan until he could bury his face into his brother’s shoulder. Breathing in the faint scent of salt and sweet Pitt cola that clung to the fabric. Ford barely even felt the start of his tears as they pooled under his eyes, the warm, silent assurance from Stan rubbing the small of his back bleeding the fear away.

It took some time for Ford to calm the avalanche of fresh terrors plaguing his mind, running scenario after scenario until they all fell into a distant background noise, but eventually he managed to collect himself, straightening with a choked cough as Stan smiled at him encouragingly.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, why don’t we head to bed, huh?” Stan suggested, smile widening as Ford nodded, nudging the both of them onwards until they were stumbling through the bedroom door, not even bothering to take the ladder to his bunk as he slumped into Stan’s pulling him down alongside him.

“Yeah, yeah, you can stay, but not hogging the blankets” Stan said, the truth painfully obvious despite his complaints. The simple, easy motion reminiscent from their childhood, striking like a match in his chest, alighting his heart with a cozy warmth.

“I’m sorry” Ford said simply, as Stan tucked himself in beside him, feeling the dismissive puff leave Stan’s lips before he could continue his self flagellation.

“Shuddup and go to sleep six. You didn’t do anything.” Stan mumbled, muffled by the pillow shoved against his face.