#mirlu

Natsu was her teammate, one of her closest friends, but it was hard to deny that, sometimes, it felt as if they were connected in other ways. It was hard to deny. People made passing comments towards it and Happy had spent the better half of their time together being rather blunt about the assertion, and Lucy had never really put a stop to such ideas while Natsu seemed aloof to the idea at all.

He was to most things, honestly.

But their coupling felt equally as inevitable at times as it could feel imagined and ill-conceived at others. Improperly perceived, maybe, instead.

Though he stepped on and even ran straight through many boundaries that 'just a friend' should adhere to, Lucy wasn't comfortable stating that Natsu only did this with her. He'd spent his most important formative years with only a dragon for company and sometimes his manners and actions reflected this.

But…

If everyone else always saw it, commented on it, if she considered it, as many times as she considered it, then that had to mean something.

Didn't it?

Natsu was just a late bloomer.

Or had other focuses. The primal aspects of the man all fed into his magic and physical aggression, leaving behind the other natural inclinations.

Everything seemed to come to a head the night before, when Happy and Natsu crashed at her place after the they returned from a job together. They were all three exhausted and, while she did make some disparaging remarks over the idea of them staying at her apartment, it was hardly out of character for them and, deep down, she actually didn't mind near as much as she implied.

Being alone was nice and she craved that solitude at times, but after a job well done, the need for camaraderie was firing on all cylinders and it was nice, to not be left in silence upon returning home, but to have Natsu and Happy there to keep her company.

She showered off, first, while the boys ransacked the place (this was actually her least favorite part of them staying over) and by the time she'd returned, Happy was all tuckered out from his sleuthing. Curled up on the bed and snoring was the best place for the cat, Lucy figured, and she only nodded at the bathroom to Natsu.

"Want next?" she asked the man, but he seemed to intently be glancing over something as he sat on the floor, at her tiny table, and the angle made it difficult for her to immediately see what it was. "Uh, Natsu?"

"Eh?" Lifting his head, he only snickered at the woman as he remarked, "Ah, Luce, didn't take you for such a wino, huh?"

"What?" And she rushed to see what he'd gotten into. And, once finding him holding a bottle of some sort of alcohol, she only frowned some as she remarked, "Oh, that."

"Hiding drinks in your dresser," he tsked with a shake of his head. "Very sneaky."

"Yeah, you and Happy are way worse, you know," she returned as she leaned down to snatch the bottle from him. "Going through my dresser in the first place."

But he only shifted some, holding it away from her as he insisted, "Finders keepers."

"Natsu-"

"Is it special to you?" he asked and he jumped up then, to hold it out of reach. Still, there was a slight hesitance, as she glared into his eyes and he took a bit of a pause, a lot of reservation for the man, honestly. "It's not from your parents or anything, is it?"

"No." She deflated some, not grabbing at the bottle as she instead remarked, "I got it from a job, once."

"And hid it in your dresser?"

Blushing some, Lucy looked off as she remarked, "If you must know, it is kinda special. Or I thought it was. The guy I did the solo job for gave it to me, on top of the reward, and we had a...connection, I thought, and he was going to write me, he said, but never did, and I eventually just shoved the wine into the dresser and-"

The slayer laughed. It wasn't necessarily at the woman, but it certainly didn't make her feel any better. Still, bringing the bottle back down some, he only told her simply, "Let's drink it."

"Natsu-"

"C'mon, Luce; he's not gonna write you." He stated this as complete fact and, hearing it from someone else made her shoulders slump as she came to the same realization. "Better to drink and forget than hide in your dresser and remember."

He laughed again, snickered really, and Lucy only stood there, thinking. Natsu could be a bit of a jerk at times, maybe, but if she really told the man no, it would definitely be the end of it. He could be obnoxious, but the man was never cruel to her, never had been, and if she clearly wasn't interested in an idea, it would be shut down immediately.

Noting her hesitance, even, he smiled some as he held the bottle out to her then, ready to head off and clean up in the bathroom himself. Instead of grabbing it though, Lucy turned on her heel suddenly and walked over to her desk, rifling through its drawer as she called over her shoulder to the man, "I'll get the bottle opener."

Grinning, Natsu glanced over at Happy, watching the Exceed for a few moments before declaring, "Hap's out. Completely. So it's just you and me."

"Yeah." She swallowed some, over at her desk, in some uncertainty as some realizations dawned on her. "Just me and you."

Lucy offered to grab them glasses, but Natsu only shrugged some at the suggestion as he plopped back down on the floor, bottle opener in hand while he dug the cork out. As the woman joined him, on the floor, he insisted, "Let's just share the bottle, huh?"

"Uh, because that's gross and uncultured."

"It's just us," he reminded and it felt like he'd said it one too many times for it to be meaningless.

The wine was aged, a special label, and Lucy felt some things bubbling up inside of her, the more she drank from it. But not about the man before her; rather, the one who'd blown her off.

"What an idiot, anyways," she said as Natsu, after his own sips, could only nod. "Who just gives this to someone? Something like this? For nothing? What is that? What kind of game is that?"

"Probably a sucky one," Natsu muttered after another swig before passing the bottle to the woman. They were sitting before one another, both with crossed legs, their knees touching. "How do you even keep score?"

"That's not what I…" Lucy frowned at him, first, before down at the open bottle. "I just meant that… Why didn't he write me?"

This wasn't exactly a topic of discussion Natsu enjoyed or even would entertain, usually, but the alcohol, even in its early stages, made him more curious than he usually would be. Glancing her over, he asked "Did you want him to?"

"Obviously." Lucy took another swig before remarking, "I wouldn't be talking about it if I didn't."

"If it's that important to you-"

"I didn't say that, that it's important, I just mean that-"

"-why don't you go back there? Huh?"

"What? Natsu, no, are you-"

"Yeah!" He was very fired up by the idea and snatched the bottle back from her, taking another swig himself before saying, "Let's go back there and demand answers."

"You're an idiot."

"If I cared about finding something out," he told her simply, "I would."

"I don't...care that much."

"You care enough to waste this wine crying about it."

"You're an ass."

"I'd go with you." Natsu passed the bottle back to her. "Luce. If that's what's bothering you."

"What? No. Why would you go with me? Why would I even go?" She was beginning to regret the bottle, already, and only set it to the side as she questioned the slayer. "What would we even do there? Huh? Say, 'Hey, why did you never write me, a random person from a random town you clearly weren't interested in after all?'"

"If that's what you want to say, sure."

"Natsu…"

"What?"

Shaking her head a bit, Lucy said, "I'm just...venting. I'll never see him again and that's fine. I'm over it. I'd almost forgot about it, even, before you brought out the bottle. He was just some stupid rich guy who was just being way too overly friendly. Or maybe, even, I just read him wrong, probably. I spent a lot of time around his type, you know? Growing up? Sometimes they don't mean what they say and they just...flirt, you know? So… I was stupid to think it was something more and-"

"You're not stupid, Lucy." He grabbed the bottle again, glaring down at it now. "And if he made you feel stupid, then fuck him."

She made a face at the man, but he didn't seem to care. Softly, she said, "You don't get it. You're not a woman."

"So? I'm a man."

"Yeah and you'd probably do the same thing, if you were him."

"Would not."

"Oh? And you're just out there writing women left and right, keeping your promises?"

"I'd never tell a woman I'd write her." He said this flatly and she had to admit, he was probably correct. Still, he sounded rather serious for the conversation and his eyes were on hers as he merely insisted, "And I've never broken a promise to you, Luce. Have I?"

"N-No," she admitted, looking off. "But you're not… Have you ever even…"

She didn't know what she wanted to say in that moment, exactly, but Natsu didn't cover for her this time, talking over her or thinking up a new topic after a swig from the bottle. He only sat there, silent for once, giving her just enough rope to hang or save herself.

She wasn't sure which option her next question placed them.

"Have you ever even been into a person?" When he only stared, she stuttered some, correction, "A woman, I mean?"

They could talk about anything, the two of them, she'd always been sure of this, and yet they'd spent the literal years of their friendship skating around such topics and she wasn't even sure if she'd ever seen Natsu give a passing glance towards another woman, but she wanted to know now. If it had been ignorance on her part or his. A misunderstanding, willful of otherwise.

She didn't want to not know anymore, for certain, why it was that they hung so closely to one another, why they'd both been missing out on such big milestones in their peer group, and if there was a chance, if it was leading to them going over those things together, discovering more than just their magic with one another and if…

If it was all real.

Or just imagined.

Natsu hardly ever considered his words, the first thing that came to his mind usually just tumbled right out, especially when talking to such a close ally, but he was silent momentarily, in thought, before replying with a simple shake of his head and a verbal confirmation of, "Yeah."

Lucy looked hard now, to the bottle, and considered taking another swig from it, but she didn't feel as if she had time, that if she allowed herself a reprieve, if she didn't continue on with where she was headed, immediately, then she'd miss her chance, and it would never come around again.

Or at least not for another few years.

"Do you like me?" she whispered and it felt dumb, stupid, and she was cursing her own words, regardless of his receptiveness to them, because it just sounded so childish.

And they weren't children.

They hadn't been for some time.

There had to be a more sophisticated and mature way of asking what she wanted to know, but Lucy had no idea how to find it, words felt distant, and she felt like she couldn't breath, anyways, as she waited for his answer.

It really wasn't that long. No contemplation at all.

Again, he gave a nod and the word was the same, but it felt heavier, felt breathier than the previous one had, huskier, maybe, as he stared her dead in the eyes, in a way he never seemed to care for, as he assured the woman, "Yeah."

They'd had years to prepare for the moment and Lucy always imagined it kind of like this, but there were things she couldn't account for, didn't think she needed to, like the way that Natsu had filled out, even more, over the years, and they weren't stupid teenagers who would fall into things slowly or far too fast, but rather in their twenties now, with at least some composure and when he leaned forwards to kiss her she met him, didn't shy away from the moment, and it was…

The one thing she really didn't account for, at all, that ruined everything.

When she pressed a hand to his chest, it felt as toned as she'd always imagined, and she had thought of it before, able to admit it now, about caressing his tan flesh, but she had to push him away, the kiss breaking off rather abruptly, it felt, but immediately.

Natsu sat back some, and Lucy only looked off, blushing as he gazed at her.

Letting out a slow breath, Lucy said, "We should really-"

"I wanted to shower anyways," he assured her as he sprang up, too quickly for the alcohol in his system, honestly, and Lucy couldn't be sure, but she was pretty certain he looked equally as flushed. "You take the bed, huh? With Hap?"

"Natsu, wait, I…"

But she didn't know what she wanted to say, really, and it was fine as the man didn't seem to be stopping regardless and when Lucy rose, it was with the bottle in hand.

She didn't finish it, rather only taking one more sip in a vain attempt to clear her head, before going over to the bed with little thought. Lucy tried hard, at first, not to wake the sleeping Exceed as she climbed in but, once she actually was lying there, she found that she did need some of his comfort.

He was much nicer when he was asleep.

"Lucy," he whispered softly through a yawn when she tugged him towards her. "Wha're you doin'?"

"Nothing." She blinked back tears, not sure if they were from the alcohol or...something else. "I just… Go back to sleep, Happy."

He turned though, into her, and Lucy was asleep before Natsu returned from the bathroom.

They didn't talk about things the next morning. It would be difficult to, as Happy had gotten a full nights rest and was all ready for the day's new adventures. But Natsu, who'd spent the night on the floor, only told the cat that they should head home first, drop their packs there and freshen up some.

"Later, Luce," was really the only thing of substance he said to her, called over his shoulder as he tossed open her window and Happy came flying over, to grab him and flutter him down to the street.

She was too dazed by all that had gone on to really gripe at them much.

When she went to snag the wine bottle from where she'd left it on the table, she found it to be empty.

That morning, she set out herself, first to Levy's place, where she'd hoped to get some guidance, but after being turned away, knew she had to venture a trip to the hall if she wanted to speak with any of her other friends.

She figured Natsu, who seemed to want to get away from her that morning, would avoid the place anyways.

The guild was packed that day and the first person she spotted was Erza, barking out orders to some of the lesser members over their lack of motivation. She stopped this when she spotted her occasional teammate, calling out happily to the celestial mage in congratulations over a job well done.

"Get in early this morning?" Erza questioned. "Or late last night?"

"Last night," Lucy answered easily and Erza should be the one she went to.

Maybe.

They spent a lot of time together and though she wouldn't say that they were best friends by any stretch of the imagination, but she hardly knew another who was more in touch with her own sexuality and experiences.

Or at least exuded such energy.

Still, Erza was a bit too...literal for Lucy and her current troubles. Or any troubles. The woman had a way of getting straight to the point, treating every situation with a seriousness that wasn't necessarily advised.

But as she was speaking to the other woman, she noticed Cana over at her usual table, holding court as well as her barrel of wine. She was arguing somewhat with Macao over something, as Wakaba sat nearby, smoking and laughing as if this were the funniest interaction he'd ever seen.

Considering he saw it daily, Lucy felt like he'd probably had a few sips of his own drink, even so early, to warrant such a reaction.

She'd talk to Lucy about it. Of course she would. It was all she ever wanted to talk about, honestly. She'd always tried to set Lucy up with guys she knew, teasing a bit about Natsu, even, when the celestial mage backed out every single time. She'd gone through her own rut, recently, with the men in her life and hearing about Lucy's troubles might even cheer her up.

But…

Lucy just didn't think she'd want to hear the advice or comments the woman would have at the ready. Cana was a very dear friend to her, they spent a lot of time together, but she wasn't known with holding back her opinions or commentary. Even one-on-one the woman led most conversations and Lucy really just needed someone to get all her feelings out to, try and bridge some understand and…

And Lisanna was around, talking idly with Juvia about something, and between the two of them, she could find one to give her some advice, maybe. She didn't see herself as taking romantic advice from Juvia well, but Lisanna was her age and, in some weird way, did have a former connection to Natsu that might aid in the discussion.

It was that connection though, that made Lucy hesitant, and she didn't imagine the other woman would run back to him with any info, but the two of them were far closer than she was to the woman and it also would feel kind of...wrong, maybe, to flaunt in her face the relationship that Lisanna had been deprived of by virtue of death, perceived or otherwise.

"You okay, Lucy?"

Mira asked this as she walked passed, carrying a tray of beers to a table nearby. It wasn't until she spoke to her that Lucy realized Erza had gone back to yelling at some underlings while she was left just standing there, alone now, staring absently at nothing, it probably seemed like.

She was frowning at her, Mirajane was, with a tilt of her head as, after leaning over to offer the mugs of ale to the men at the table, she straightened, just to gaze at her friend.

And Lucy blushed, feeling stupid for not considering the barmaid first, before anyone else.

She'd been the first friend Lucy really made in the bar and she considered her far closer, in some ways. Even than Levy. They just had an easy connection between one another, she and Mirajane, and the other woman probably boasted that with most people, but for some reason, Lucy always felt like it was...special.

Between the two of them.

"Job take a lot out of you?" Mira kept up, a sympathetic gaze on her face while Lucy, slowly, let out a breath and a shake of the head.

"No," she admitted. "It's not that. It's… Are you working all day? Or do you think that...that maybe we might have time to talk later? Somewhere else? Alone? It's nothing serious, but-"

"Oh, I can get off right now!" And Mira only took a few steps backwards, to where Juvia and Lisanna were having their conversation, to shove the serving tray off on her youngest sibling.

"Mira-" Lisanna began to complain, but her older sister only shook her head.

"I had something come up," she explained simply. "Can you take over for me until I get back?"

'

"It's really not-" Lucy tried, but Lisanna was already standing, nodding even at her sister while Mirajane came to take the celestial mage by the arm and lead her away.

"It's really not that big of a deal," Mira assured her friend as, once they were off guild grounds, Mira let out a long sigh before sucking in an even bigger breath, the taste of fresh air no doubt welcome after being trapped in the hall the majority of the time. "Lisanna needs some extra jewels and I like to escape work sometimes."

"Yeah," Lucy agreed with a nod. "Sometimes."

"Did you want to go somewhere private?" Mira asked, releasing her arm then. "Or-"

"My apartment is nearby," the other woman suggested. "If that's not too far. It's kind of...personal, what I want to talk about and-"

"Of course!" Mira even bounced a bit, pleased at the idea, clearly. "Whatever you need."

It wasn't until they arrived that Lucy remembered that Natsu and Happy had taken it upon themselves to trash the place, the night before, and she'd fled it at first light, not unlike the pair, which meant it still was in a bit of disarray.

"Oh, Lucy," Mira remarked with a hand to her face as, at the sight of the room, the blonde took to rushing around, trying to shove objects and clothing back into their proper places. "I had no idea you were feeling this low."

"No! You don't understand." She was going to toss some things in the trash then, staring over at Mira. "Natsu and Happy were here, last night and they… I…"

She trailed off as, over at the trashcan, she saw it there, the bottle of wine. She'd tossed it, the one bit of cleaning she did before leaving, and seeing it now felt like a harsh reminder of what had occurred, really occurred, the night before and how now none of it could be taken back and by the next time she saw Natsu, she was going to have to have it figured out and it was never that hard before, with him, nothing was, because he didn't care, about anything really, it felt like sometimes, other than having a good time with his friends, but she'd pushed the envelop, she'd wanted to go further, and now she had her answer, about him and about herself somehow, and knowledge, of any magnitude, could never be unknown.

In heavy cases, not even forgotten.

"Lucy." Mirajane came over to take some of the things she was bearing herself down with, toss the trash and bending down to set the other things to the side, on the table. Looking her friend in the eyes, she said, "It's okay."

"But it's not." Shaking her head a bit, Lucy fell back then, onto the edge of her bed with a long breath out. "I… Natsu and I kissed last night."

"Really?" Mira had to sit down as well, but it was from the polar opposite of reasons. "Are you serious? Oh, how was it? Wonderful?"

"W-Well-"

"It was bad then?" Mira sighed. "That is a problem."

"No, it was… It was nice. He was nice, I mean, I guess." Lucy rubbed at her arm, unable to look at her friend. "But it wasn't what I thought. It was… I don't think I like Natsu. Like that."

"Oh." Mira glanced down at her. "A single kiss told you that?"

Lucy blushed again, still uncertain of exactly what she wanted to divulge to the woman. With certainty she wanted some advice on how to salvage her friendship with Natsu, even keep it whole, somehow, if she were able, but there was something else, just beneath the surface, that she still wasn't quite sure about herself.

Another thing that, if spoke aloud, Lucy wasn't so sure could be retracted.

"You've...dated friends before, right?" she thought to ask the other woman instead. "Or at least gone out with them? Kissed them?"

This got a bit of a giggle out of the older woman and, looking off, Mira nodded some, remarking, "Even other people in the guild."

'Really? Who?"

"I," Mira assured her, "don't kiss and tell."

"Mira-"

"No one special," she assured her. "Nothing like you and Natsu. I mean, gosh, I get it, Lucy. Really. To have something so built up, in your mind, with all the tension and subtlety, just for it to be lackluster… But I wouldn't count him out just because of that. Especially because I don't think Natsu has much...experience. You know? If you give him a chance-"

"It's not just that."

"Then what?"

"I don't think… I always kinda thought that, because we got along so well together, that it must mean that I was...attracted to Natsu. And I might've been, maybe, at one point, but…" Lucy shook her head some, looking off. "I want things to stay how they are. But… I don't think they can. And I don't want to hurt Natsu either. I just… I didn't feel what I thought I would, when I kissed him. Do you know what I mean?"

"None of the butterflies or hope? The fleeting ideas of something more and when you can do it again?" Mira wrapped her arms around herself, jumping to her feet as she twirled a bit, around the room, her black dress swaying along with her, beautifully. "The quiver and somersaults? Feeling their arms around you- Yours around them, too, and it's just-"

"Yeah." Lucy deflated even more, if it was possible. "It was none of that."

Coming to a stop, Mira tilted her head again and her gaze now was heavy enough that Lucy couldn't manage to dodge it any longer. Softly, Mira said, "Are you heartbroken?"

"I don't think so, no. Why should I be? The guy I thought I liked actually liked me back. Why should I be heartbroken? Just because it was a bad kiss? And I'm starting to think I don't have feelings for him? That's not heartbreak."

"No," Mira agreed. "It's not. But you do sound heartbroken."

Maybe she was. But it wasn't over Natsu, not really, and under the intense, blue hued gaze of her best friend, it wasn't enough to just sit there any longer, clenching and unclenching her fists, picking at the lint on her pants, lying.

To Mira.

About what the problem really was.

"I…" Lucy shook her head tightly before saying, "When I was a kid, my father was actually really happy, I think, to have a daughter. So he could...network, with some of the other men, when I was old enough. Sell me off, I guess, in an arranged marriage, to a business partner. And it was just something that I always kind of accepted would happen, eventually, once I was old enough. That I would be matched with one of the sons of my father's business associates and that would be it. Maybe it's even part of the reason I decided to run off, I dunno, but I just always knew I'd end up with a...guy."

She felt unburdened, Lucy did, and she didn't quite realize it fully until she explained it all out like that, in a matter of fact way of speaking.

"But I just don't...think that I'm going to. Anymore." Lucy sounded more confident, relaxing her fists as, for some reason, the knot that had always kept itself tangled in her stomach, any time this sort of discussion seemed to be looming, found itself unwinding. "Or at least I don't want to be. Natsu was...the closest I've ever felt to anyone, I thought. But especially a man. I really do care about him, very deeply, and I just thought, eventually, I could...force myself to just… But I can't. And I don't want to. If I can't even be attracted to the man I've loved the most over my life then… Maybe I can't be attracted to any of them."

Mirajane had allowed her to speak, in full, standing there at first with a bit of concern, but as her friend seemed to find her conclusion, the barmaid only bounced a bit, again, clapping her hands with the same amount of glee she'd had over the original reveal.

"Lucy," she said with a bit of a giggle as she rushed to go grab the woman by the hands, pulling her to her feet. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know that," she assured the other woman, allowing herself to be pulled along and, when Mirajane hugged her instead, Lucy returned it just as tightly. "But I've just never...accepted it, really, until… Maybe right now?"

"Am I the first person you've told this to?"

When Lucy nodded, Mira's grin seemed to grow and it was a nice enough moment, but it wasn't exactly all Lucy had wanted to get out. Taking a step back from the other woman, out of her grasp, she took in a breath before asking a question of her own.

"Mira, you've been with...not just guys, right?" Lucy asked her. "Women too?"

It was her turn to blush, the barmaid, turning away a bit. While she was known to be a bit of a flirt up at the bar at times, she hardly shared her exploits with those who weren't directly involved in them.

Still, Lucy was her best friend.

With an affirmative shake of her head, Mira offered, "I like guys. They're rough and...try. Very hard. To impress you. Sometimes you just really, really want to be wanted, in that way." Then, flippantly, she added, "Plus, it's easier to match their suit to my dress, also, for events and things. There are a few that mean a lot to me, but sometimes…"

"Sometimes?" Lucy prompted, softly, and Mira found that she had to go on.

"Women are different," she sighed and Lucy couldn't look away from her now. "We just are. We understand things better, between one another. You wouldn't understand it, really, even if I tried to explain it to you, but we just… There's a connection. It's...silly, to explain, if you've never experienced it, but-"

"It's not," Lucy assured her with a whisper and her cheeks had been red, for awhile now, enough so that the color had spread to the tips of her ears. "Mira. I just...wish that we talked about these things more. Together. You're my best friend and it's just been...hard. To not talk to you about…"

"Hey." And Mira's hand came up then, gently, to cup one of Lucy's cheeks and the celestial mage felt it then, maybe, what the woman spoke of before, as her chest ached and her stomach clinched as her breath caught. Softly, the other woman insisted to her, "We'll talk about it all. From now on. Okay?"

Lucy tried to nod, but instead, her head fell forwards and Mira turned hers, at the exact right moment and when their lips brushed against each others, the celestial mage's parted slightly,

and it all washed away.

Everything she'd feared and worried about the entire time. The heat pooling in her cheeks spread and when Mira pulled back, it was with one of her soft giggles, blue eyes alight as they searched the brown ones before her.

"I…" Lucy tried, but she'd spoken too much, that day, explained too much, and Mira only shook her head a bit.

"Do you remember," she questioned softly, "when you stayed at our house? Last winter? For the entire week? Because we were snowed in? You, me, and Lisanna would stay up every night watching movies on the lacrima or talking or… I wanted to tell you then, I really thought about it, that one night when Lisanna went to bed early and we were in the living room, talking about… I don't even remember. But I remember thinking that you were in love with Natsu and it would be almost like pressuring you, when we're snowed in like that, to say something, to ask, and-"

"I'd have never thought you actually liked me in that way, Mira." Lucy brought her own hand up, to grab onto the other woman's wrist, nuzzling into her hand. "You're so...special and pretty and beautiful and everybody wants you and-"

"Lucy." She dropped the woman's cheek so that she could, instead, grasp both her hands once more, tightly as she looked deeply into her eyes. "Do you think you're not?"

"Mira-"

"I'm serious."

"Just… You're not doing this to be nice to me, are you?" She searched the demon's face for such an implication. "I'm serious. Because… I've had a crush on you for so long and-"

"I like you a lot." Mira meant it. It was said so plainly and with no hesitation. "I just never thought you'd actually feel the same way. Do you? Or-"

"Absolutely." And Lucy felt all her apprehension fade. "I told myself, for so long, that I just felt like you were my friend, my closest one, and that I was confused. Between you and...and Natsu. I really do love him. But when we kissed, I just realized, I… It was so different. Than just now. Mirajane. And...and… This is just all so much, so fast. I-"

"It's okay." That time, when Mira reached for her, it was for a hug. Rather than returning it, Lucy turned her head slightly, resting it against the woman as she let out a soft breath. Gently, Mira ran a hand through the blonde's hair, muttering, "You're okay."

"I know." She sniffled some then, and she was coming back down to earth, maybe, reality, at least somewhat, as she questioned, "Mira?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you…think you wanna get dinner? Some night this week?"

She was blushing again, Lucy was, and finally, somehow, that realness of that question, lacking the passion of a sudden kiss, but rather the nerves of the inexperienced, brought some heat to the Takeover mage's own cheeks and when Lucy pulled back to stare at her, the woman could merely nod.

"I'd actually really like that," Mirajane agreed. "Yeah."

"Cool." Lucy let out a soft breath and they both laughed some, in unison, as Mira released her from her hug.

"Yeah," the other woman nodded. "Cool."

A beat passed, where they both grinned at one another, flustered at the idea of their date. Once it passed though, Lucy couldn't rightly help how her face fell some as she questioned, "Do you need to get back to the bar? And relieve your sister?"

"Nah." Glancing around the apartment, Mirajane said, "I'll help you clean up."

"You really don't-"

"I want to. Lucy." Mirajane reached out to run a hand over her arm as she said, "It won't be too much work. And then after-"

"After. Ah-ha." The idea was enough to give the blonde that were mentioned before butterflies and it was cute to Mira, the way Lucy set right back to work, cleaning up. "Yeah, we can...spend more time together. After. Ha."

It wouldn't be for another three days that Lucy saw Natsu. The man was absent from the bar, everyday she went up there, and while she didn't want to necessarily confront him, she also knew that she didn't want the weight of their precarious friendship looming on her shoulders. Especially not with her big first date with Mirajane that upcoming evening.

"You should talk to him," Mira told her simply up at the bar that day. The woman meant it too, she could tell, as even she seemed a bit sad for the guy. His loss was her gain, but it was a far more tangled web than could easily be imagined. She'd known Natsu since he was a boy, considered him one of her little brothers, almost, and she'd never want to see him truly hurt. "Really."

She had to.

The man would never confront what had happened on his own.

The path to he and Happy's downtrodden little home was overgrown and confusion, at times, but Lucy knew it well now and walked with confidence down the short little path. The boys didn't seem to be home, neither answering when she knocked on their front door or called out, and she might have given up, but then she could hear the two of them's voices carry, somewhere down by the nearby creek, and knew they must be fishing.

"-said we'd catch a fish by now."

"Yeah, well, little buddy, I'm trying my hardest, okay?" Natsu sounded rather frustrated with the Exceed, or perhaps just the moment. Maybe even something more. "I can't help it if the fish aren't biting. That's not my-"

"Lucy!" Happy jumped up suddenly from his spot beside the creek. The blonde was coming out of the forest then, to smile over at them, and Natsu glanced her way before staring intently back at the creek and his fishing pole. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

"I came to talk to you guys," she said simply with a smile as the Exceed fluttered right over. Natsu, however, did nothing of the sort. Still, she only eyed the feline as she said, "You hadn't been at the hall-"

"We've been resting up," Happy informed her. "That job took a lot out of Natsu, you know."

"Hap," the man finally grumbled. "You don't have to-"

"Yeah, well," Lucy kept up, still focused on the Exceed, "you know, I just thought it was strange that you weren't around because Carla and Wendy just got back in town from their solo job and I figured you'd wanna-"

"What?" Happy's wings seemed to malfunction for a moment as his brain melted. "They're back already? Did they get hurt? Or did they finish the job? I thought that it would take them way longer! If I knew-"

"She probably thinks you're ignoring her or-"

"Natsu, I have to go." Happy regained proper control of his aero magic and took off zooming then, calling over his shoulder, "Carla's home!"

"Happy!" Natsu jumped up. "What about-"

"Meet you at the hall," was the last thing either heard from the blue blur before he disappeared among the trees and then, just like that, it was only Natsu and Lucy left.

He stared after his feline for a moment while she only stared at him. When he noted this though and looked back to her, Lucy could only look away, and this was going to be harder than she thought.

In the few days since Mirajane and Lucy had first kissed, she'd sworn the woman to secrecy, at least until she'd spoken to the slayer. She owed it to him, she insisted to Mirajane, and the woman agreed of course.

Lucy was his best friend.

If there was anyone he should hear it from, it was her.

"Is," was the first word out of his mouth, "Carla actually back in town? Or did you just lie to him?"

"I'd never lie to him." Then Lucy sighed. "Well, maybe I would-"

"Luce-"

"She got home yesterday." Coming closer then, to the creek's edge, she said, "But no, that's not why I came all the way out here."

"Then what is it? Huh?" Natsu turned his gaze as well then, facing the water once more. It was running swiftly, this time of year, but both could place their reflections easily. "Did you already wanna go out on another job? Or-"

"Natsu," she whispered softly. "We have to talk about-"

"We don't have to do anything, Luce."

"But we do." Wrapping her arms around herself, she said, "I didn't push you away because I don't… I did it because I…"

"Lucy-"

"I thought I liked you too, Natsu. This whole time. Because I do." Swallowing, she insisted, "I love you-"

"Don't do this." He frowned over at her. "I'm not some chump, you know? I made a mistake and-"

"It wasn't a mistake."

"Then what was it then?"

"I…" Lucy sucked down another breath before saying, "It's not you, Natsu. I do love you. But not...attracted to men. I'm...into women. And it took me until that moment to be true with myself, about that fact. I'm sorry it hurt you, but...I'm glad that-"

"You're gay?"

"W-Well," she stammered as, before this moment, she'd yet to rightly put a label on herself. As he stared at her though, one eyebrow raised, she found herself nodding some as she said, "Yeah. I am."

"Oh." Natsu deflated some, looking back at the water before saying, "You couldda just told me."

"I was scared to."

"Scared of me?"

"Of myself, I think. Or...I don't know, Natsu." She shrugged some as she said, "I thought that, because I like you so much, that I could force myself to...like you, but I can't. I'm sorry. And I don't want us to stop being friends or for this all to be weird now or-"

"What are you sorry for?" And when he looked back at her, his expression was filled with its usual jolliness and he even smiled at her as she said, "Even I you didn't want to be with me, I'd never stop being friends with you. You're my best friend. I love you."

Lucy smiled as well, nodding as she said, "I love you too."

Snickering some, he crossed his arms over his chest as he looked once more out on the creek. "I thought you were mad at me. Happy told me you were crying, that night. I thought I'd done something wrong and that I should give you space or whatever."

"It was just...an emotional night for me," she said as, slowly, she took her place beside him. "That's all. I'm not mad at you."

"Good." Smiling down at her, the slayer remarked, "Then do you wanna go out on a job? It'll be hard to convince Hap to come, but maybe Carla and Wendy will wanna go with us too and-"

"A-Actually, Natsu, I kinda...have plans."

"Oh yeah?" He did frown then. "That bastard Gray got you going out on a job or something?"

"No, not a job." She kicked her feet. "I sorta have a...date tonight."

"Oh." He blinked before asking, "Someone I know?"

"Probably better than I do."

"What do you mean?"

Smiling at the thought, Lucy turned to walk off, remarking over her shoulder, "I'll tell you on the way to the guildhall."

That night, Natsu spent his time drinking and partying down in the game room with some of the other guys while Lucy found herself arriving at the Strauss household promptly at the agreed upon time. When she rose her hand to knock at the door, she wasn't quite ready to be greeted by Elfman, who was sobbing and pulled her in for a bone-crushing hug.

Lisanna was around as well, giggly and happy over the whole thing, but Lucy found it hard to focus on either of them once Mirajane strode into the room, having donned a dress she'd never seen before, the blue undertones in the mostly yellow attire catching the hues of the woman's eyes in a way that made Lucy blush a bit.

"Elfman, honestly, stop," Mira remarked with a slight frown at him, but he only dabbed at his eyes while Lisanna, still laughing, hugged her older sister goodbye before the celestial mage.

"Have our sister home before ten," she offered in parting as the pair set out for their evening on the town. At the glare of her older sister, she shrugged some and changed it to, "Or whenever. We won't judge. Much."

Outside, the sun was just beginning to fall from the sky and they had a decent walk into town. Mirajane giggled though, as she turned to wave at her siblings watching from the doorway before looking to her date.

"So," she remarked as she reached down to snatch the woman's hand, just the feeling of the other woman's palm making Lucy's heart race, "did you ever decide where you wanted to eat tonight?"

"I thought," the blonde whispered softly, shifting her hand so that she could interlock fingers with the other woman, causing Mirajane to giggle, "we could just...decide. Once we get downtown?"