She was standing just outside of the doorway, clearly having just emerged from the little shelter. Kayra had made those tiny houses, patching them together out of whatever she could find, and Sylvie had always marveled at her ingenuity.
It was a shame she wasn’t here now. Taking a slow, steadying breath, Sylvie straightened up and walked towards the stranger.
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Martina idly poked at the embers, though the bonfire hardly needed it -- thanks to all the dead wood lying around the Enclave lately, finding fuel had been a cinch. Still, even the merrily flickering fire did nothing to lift her mood.
This place is going to be gone soon.
Not for lack of trying; she’d looked everywhere she could think of for answers, but even aided by Rico, who could see in the dark a hell of a lot better than she could, she’d found nothing of use, only signs of a slowly dying world that may soon have to be abandoned.
She sighed and was about to pick up a branch to prod at the ashes again when she noticed something moving towards her in the darkness. Startled, she sat up.
It’s so dark. He can feel the bite of frosty air on his face and the accompanying howl of a winter storm. There’s a figure, barely discernible, huddled within a scant shelter against the snow– the inside of a cave, it feels like. The person shivers and draws further away from the freezing wind.
But then…
The cold night gives away to something else. It’s strangely open here, completely unlike the confining air of the cave. While still dark, the air is calm and warm like a summer night, fragrant with dry grass.
And a point of yellow light, the only one to be seen so far, shines in the distance like a welcoming beacon.
~
It was unique in that it didn’t end horribly. They always did, the dreams were always harbingers of disaster. But this... this ended on an odd note of hope.
Not that it was anything clear. If anything, it was even more vague than most dreams of this sort. He always knew who it concerned. Not this time. Just cold and despair banished by what seemed to be the first rays of daylight and hopeful warmth.
Then again... maybe it wasn’t foresight. It was so hard to tell. It felt like a prediction but so many dreams like this hadn’t come to pass. It was frustrating. If he had to be an oracle, he wished he could at least be a reliable one.
Shivering a little, both from the aftermath of the dream and the slight chill in the room, Johann settles back into the pillows and blankets with a soft squeak. He huddles closer to his mate for warmth and comfort- things Kaz provided for him without even having to realize it.
(This is a joint between me and zehypocriticaloath. Enjoy!)
“Don’t be afraid.”
It was a downtime afternoon. Alexei was with Aldous, the two of them laying on their bed together. They’d been reading, and reading gave way to conversation, and the conversation had led to an admission- a fear of the Medic’s that his particular tastes would lead to abuse on his part one day.
This was something that Alexei found ridiculous, and he told Aldous so.
“You von't force me into anyting. If vere going to, vould have- have had plenty of opportunity.“
“Mmm... but zhe fact you’re willing to be whipped... it worries me. I never zhought of you enjoying anyzhing like zhat.”
“Actually...”
The Heavy blushes.
“...have... read on dese tings. Vanted to know more about vhat are liking. Is lots of talking. Care before, after. Noting happens vithout asking and tings are stopping if are vanting to stop. Now am knowing dis. Trusting you. Could... could try et, if vant to sometime.”
Aldous raises a brow, chuckling in spite of himself. He hadn’t expected Alexei to actually do research.
“Ja. This is all important, especially consent and aftercare.”
“Den is noting to be afraid of.”
Alexei chuckles as well, nuzzling his beloved. This was nice, this was good. Any time they could spend together, he cherished. And since they were together...
"...Doktor... can ask odd question?"
"Ja. Of course. What is it?" He kisses his cheek.
"...your moder. Vhat vas her name?"
Aldous looks at him, a little curious. This was certainly off topic- he wondered where Alexei was going with this. "Giselle..."
"Beautiful. Is perfect." The Heavy smiles. "Leetle hawkling, dat Dom gave to me. Still does not have name. Need to give vun soon, if vant to train her. ... Da, vill do perfectly. Giselle."
Aldous sputters for a moment, as if caught off guard. He just gapes at him in the end, eyes wide, expression surprised. "You---you vant to name her... after my mutt--mother?"
"I do. Know vas being very important to you. ... Is... okay? Dat I am doing dis?"
"....I'm..." The older man’s voice gets softer, choked up. "I'm so happy..."
Alexei smiles warmly, leaning his forehead against his Medic's. "...am glad dis is pleasing you."
"You're wonderful," is all he can croak out, emotionally. He reaches up to gently touch his cheek.
The Heavy leans into the touch, smiling softly. "You are." He turns his face a bit, enough to plant a kiss on his beloved's thumb.
"You make this old man so happy," he replies, his tone rather gentle and wistful. "Thank you for cultivating me."
"Dat is all I do." He kisses his lips softly. "Give soil and vater and sunlight. But growing... and vay are growing... dat is up to you. Cannot carry you all of vay, and vood not be healthy for me to. But can support you, love you, make sure are taking care of self."
He kisses back, lips lingering over his. "I regret being in denial... for so long. I wish I faced zhe facts and told you I loved you sooner. But I'm glad we're here now." He chuckles suddenly. "Zhe way I am growing is...good, Ja?"
"Is very good. Am so proud of you. Are growing vell. Vanting you to keep growing." His flesh hand moves in slow circles on the Medic's back. "...liebe..." The word sounds strange with a Russian accent. Exotic. "Have ever thought... of talking to somevun?"
He closed his eyes, soothed by Alexei's sudden attempt at German. It... sounded good. So good. He wanted to hear more. He was still struck by what he wanted to do, naming a noble hawk after his mother. Humbled by it, even.
"...talking to someone? I am talking to you now, aren't I?" He huffed, frowning slightly.
"Am meaning... professional?" Alexei smiles sheepishly. "Just... am not trying to be um... vhat is vord... pushy. Just vant you to being as healthy as possible."
Aldous stares at him before slowly holding him at arm's length. He watches for an expression change, and he's thinking. He's thinking long and hard.
"...for my schizophrenia?" He raised an eyebrow, still mulling it over. "Maybe it would be good. However... why do you bring this up?"
"Oh... vas just tinking."
Alexei's not going to say what brought the idea on. He hates hiding things this way, but it was worth keeping the secret if it meant his beloved wouldn't try to tear his brother apart. He wouldn't blame Aldous for being angry, but... he loved both twins so much. He couldn't let them fight if he could let it be avoided.
"Am vanting you, as said, to be happy. Healthy. And maybe if vas talking to person, vood help, vood maybe even let ease up on medicine. ... Is... girl, I tink, is hard to tell... dat am talking to sometimes. Vhen feel bad. Industry therapist, tink she said. Is leetle strange- vears robe and mask, has office in cabin in Sawmill voods- but is very good listener. Should seeing her, if are vanting."
You realize he's afraid of you
Aldous blinked slowly, a strange expression, briefly, flickering over his facial features. He listens to Alexei, only once glancing off to the side.
This is why he wants you to get help, Aldous. You scare him. You frighten him. You're a madman. You're unstable
"....a girl. It does not matter zhe gender." His attention focused back on Alexei, he curiously watched him. "Zhe medicine is zhe only thing keeping me from tearing apart zhe base, Alexei. I doubt talking to someone will reduce it."
You know it won't. You're doomed to be in an asylum, not knowing yourself, under heavy medication
"...but I will try."
"Is all am asking. Never know. Might helping, is vorth try, da?"
The Heavy's actions are quite contradictory to the nasty little voice's claims. He doesn't seem afraid at all, he doesn't pull away or flinch or seem the least bit ill at ease. In fact, he snuggles a little closer, pressing a gentle kiss on the Medic's lips.
No, Alexei is not afraid of Aldous. FOR him, perhaps, but he couldn't speak of that.
He's going to leave you. His love is fake. How many times have you been loved been loved by women, only for them to leave you? You're unloveable. You're a monster
Aldous didn't take note of the voice in his head, the one unlike his own. He's quieted by the kiss, and the way he's held close. He refuses to respond just yet, he just takes comfort in the contact.
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If she were to be honest, Nashita didn't think she was ready for interaction.
Alright, that was a lie. She knew that one wway to get out of the funk she was in was to stop being secluded and be with other people. And, if she wanted to be honest with herself, she wanted to be around others. Which was one of the main reasons the Vodun found herself taking up Elsbeth's offer for tea.
Normally, it would be her making and offering tea for others. So it was felt a bit odd for the roles to be reversed. So to make things a bit easier, she made sure Adwin was in a sleeping cycle before heading out.
Having packed some loose tea leaves to bring, she sighed once making it to her destination, knocking on the door.
On one hand he feels guilty for doing this. Something might happen, someone might need him. He needed to be easy to find, available. But on the other... nobody had yet.
Maybe he was overestimating the amount that he was needed.
In any case, it was only a walk. A walk to clear his head, somewhere away from the cold. The forests of Sawmill weren't yet touched by autumn, very few trees beginning to even show hints of red, orange, yellow.
Every last step felt heavier than the last. An ocean heaved in his chest. He was so strong, they said. Giant man, strong enough to crush leetle babies. Credit to team.
Why, then, couldn't he protect one little child from harm? Why? What was wrong with him, why was he so useless?
Nobody needs you. Nobody wants you. Just what you can do for them, and when you've outlived your usefulness they all go away. Nobody's asked for your help. You just foist it on people who don't need it.
Leaning against a tree, all alone in a dark, unfamiliar wood, the giant lets himself weep. Stops being strong just for a minute, and oh, the burden is so heavy.
He doesn't even notice the cabin in the nearby clearing.