There was a time when I would be so restless when you treat me with silence after an awkward encounter. But I know now that it was just you being manipulative. Let me explain that. You’d do something that I don’t like and then suddenly you’re the one being silent and uncommunicative. I’d fall into the cycle of being guilty and would start reaching out to you a few hours later, asking if you are mad. I gave you the satisfaction of knowing that I will always be there reaching out to you when things are down. And so, your ego is boosted, and you suddenly feel that you’re in power. You suddenly have the right to blame me for what has happened. And I will cry blaming myself for being insensitive and lacking. But that is no longer the case. I’ve learned that men like you do not deserve the kind of love that I can give and that you need to learn a lesson, else the cycle will continue, and you will just keep breaking my heart over and over. I’ve learned to protect my peace, even if that means responding back in silence. Even if that means pretending, as if I do not care, because in reality, I do care very much. But when you are the reason of my peace being broken, I will no longer let my heart be overpowered by my mind. Even if my heart tells me to reach out and ask, I’m letting my mind tell my body to protect my peace for my own good. So no, even if I care, do not expect me to come begging for your attention. I’ve been doing that for years, now’s the time to stop. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. But it means that you have to start owning up your faults and exerting even the tiniest bit of an effort to save the relationship.
