#mindfulreflections

When people say “You have so many responsibilities on your shoulders,”

sometimes we fail to realize what they’re really talking about.

But I figured it out a little today. Let me share.

“Responsibilities on your shoulders” doesn’t have a complex meaning—

but rather, a simple truth that’s hard to swallow.

See, from the day we are born until the day we die,

we believe ourselves to be responsible enough to handle small things.

It starts as a child, when we ask our mother to take responsibility for feeding us.

We are safe, in a bubble—happy and secure.

As we grow up, we begin to trust ourselves a little.

Our brains develop, and we start thinking we’re capable enough to handle a little struggle.

We begin picking up things, thinking we’re responsible enough to carry a bit of weight.

Turns out—we are.

We establish trust.

Slowly and steadily, we begin to trust ourselves more.

We start taking on bigger things—

sometimes just making tea for everyone,

sometimes helping someone solve a wifi issue.

We get trusted more—and we keep taking on more and more.

There are times we may fail, too.

That breaches our trust a lot.

We start thinking maybe we can’t handle struggle as well as we thought.

We lose confidence.

We lose ourselves.

Eventually, we may see a small win here or there—and the momentum continues.

The real problem comes when there’s a big breach in trust—

and we fail to show up for ourselves multiple times.

We get lazy. We get occupied.

We get emotional in our day-to-day and keep delaying responsibility.

That’s when we start going down.

The trajectory changes completely.

The “responsibility” I keep mentioning here isn’t just tasks—

it’s societal and moral responsibility:

the responsibility we feel for our parents,

our friends,

our loved ones,

and even through our careers.

The day we start declining badly,

we eventually lose our sense of self

and start believing that we’re not capable enough.

We struggle just to maintain our basics,

yet somehow, we still think we can handle more.

We keep taking more—

and eventually, we get burnt out.

The key to moving forward is actually quite simple, I think.

I kept trying to understand other things,

but nothing worked until I came to this conclusion:

We need to check off at least one area

where we think we can still excel.

or it could be taking care of our family more intentionally.

We need to go back to the basics and spend time there.

Usually, when you’re falling down,

it’s because your foundation has become weak.

It needs your support.

Therefore—

let’s support this.

Let’s start pushing ourselves for small responsibilities,

like just waking up early.

Let’s start there.

Maybe if we start at the basics,

we can become who we want to be.

I’ve often heard the phrase “Think before you speak.” And I’m sure we all have—usually after saying something unnecessary. But every time someone said it to me, it pissed me off. It felt like they were questioning my intelligence. I never stopped to wonder why they were saying it—I just reacted. And I still do sometimes. I think we get clouded by emotions so easily that we forget to think…

I watched the portrayal of Shazia Bano in Haq, and it changed something in me.

All my life, I conditioned myself to believe that life is good. My parents treat me equally. I receive opportunities regardless of my gender. In this day and age, I can stand next to a man and feel equal. And yet, it pains me deeply to see women suffering every single day.

The women who suffer out there are no different from me. They have the same body, the same nervous system, the same capacity for pain, and the same depth of feeling. No matter who gets what, we suffer, not only as individuals, but as a gender.

The colour of the pictures has changed, but the problem persists.

Some girls are still denied basic education. Some are forced into marriage far too young. Some are conditioned to believe that asking for even the most basic rights makes them a burden on their families. Women quietly learn how to adjust, and this cycle continues.

Even today, I see women adjusting everywhere. I have adjusted too.

I once believed that we are all writing our own destinies, that justice is something we can fight for if we want it badly enough. But for many women, justice, the most basic human right, is never within reach. We were not always this way. We had curiosity once. We wanted the same things our brothers did. We wanted a chance to experience life fully, just like everyone else.

For many women, that chance exists only as a dream written in a diary.

Some are so afraid of the idea of freedom that they cannot even dream of it.

We often say that life is unfair. But unfair for whom?

Unfair for the little girl who only wanted to read?

Or unfair for the woman who only wanted to be equal to her husband?

I used to believe that calling myself a feminist openly would close many doors for me. I feared being seen as a threat, especially by men. I wasn’t ready for that discomfort, so I kept my mind closed to these realities. But this was never about how I am perceived. The truth is much larger than that. It is about how women are treated across the world.

I yearn for every woman who is suffering.

Not every victory means every woman wins! 

Some women suffer their entire lives, and the cost of that suffering is devastating. It takes away their pride, their self-respect, and eventually, their reason to live.

And then, you are no longer living.

You exist only as a body fulfilling its duties,