#mindfucks

A lot of my fetishes are pretty switchy but this is something I only like when topping. Some of my best dominant feelings come from putting someone in "no win" conditions- psychological predicament bondage. 

A partner reminded me of this earlier today when they mentioned a scene we did. They helplessly fell into trance anytime they were more than 3 feet from me. ("Psychic" leashes=super great.) I had them follow me, made them kneel, then commanded them to follow me again- while practically sprinting away. When, I woke them back up from their inevitable trance, I had them apologize profusely for "failing" to keep up, making sure they FELT really, really sorry in the moment. 

The apologizing was the best part- the mindfuck of having someone apologize and FEEL deeply apologetic in the moment about something they had no real control over. I wouldn't do this with everyone- it takes the right partner- but this play is great, especially mixed in randomly with giving difficult but do-able commands. 

The best versions of this- and I haven't done as many of these as I'd like- look like "forces" in stage magic. Forces are stage magic tricks where it seems like audience members have multiple options but in reality there's only one real choice.  (Good article here- https://discovermagazine.com/mind/use-the-force-how-magicians-can-control-your-decisions…) Setting up a good, subtle force in play is something I aspire to- I feel generally way too obvious about my no win conditions when I have them.

 Having the no-win be obvious is it's own fun too, though- as well as forcing an apology when someone knows you're being deeply unfair just because you can. Similar to this, I also love making someone beg for something-and then making them beg for the opposite thing over the course of the scene. The nuances of how this can feel are so varied- genuinely convincing someone they want the opposite thing over the course of a scene, having someone know they want the opposite thing but they're compelled to beg for what YOU want anyway because being obedient feels more important, giving someone the "passenger in their body" feeling of wanting to beg for one thing while their hypnotized mouth begs for the opposite, etc.  I'm not particularly sadistic as a dom but this kind of emotional play is DELICIOUS.

 Since I'm writing about this on my public blog, I do want to say this kind of kink can get into heavy gaslighting and abuse dynamics (apologizing about something you have no control over is  incredibly common in abusive relationships) so I'd encourage people to know themselves, know their partner, and be very thoughtful about safety/risk here w/this play. 

Last night I tried binging a manhwa (that is, Korean) entitled Red Fox. Well sad to say it wasn’t translated so I thought maybe I could figure out the story by just the illustrations.

I discovered this through pixiv, the author made drawings of who I think are the MCs, like they’re a couple, and I really found it beautiful.

Anyway when I started reading, not only was each chapter kinda long, it was a motherfvcking MINDFVCK. The only colors used in this manhwa are: red, red, red, black, some more red, sometimes white, red-orange, scarlet red, and red. MOTHER OF MERCY the art style changed drastically, and yup, I couldn’t guess the story because basically the titles of the chapters be like: Chapter 1, first story part 1. Not only that, but with every story it does not connect with the previous one, or maybe they’re trying 2 different timelines, but I can’t say that since sometimes, JUST SOMETIMES, scenarios from the previous story are shown, so maybe they’re connected BUT THEN it’s like the spirit of this girl is choking her present self whose hair is cut and is fvcking a guy different from the previous one to whom she’s initially married WTF

There’s also this painting of the spirit or whatever, but they showed an image of it in red which reminded me of jinchuuriki LMAO TF

Ahh I don’t even know anymore even the characters who I thought were the MCs aren’t even shown together that often, like, they literally are shown seldomly! I just wanted scenes with them together but I think even that is too much to ask LMAO

So I tried reading until 3AM but I couldn’t finish half of it so I’ll be trying again.

Heavy sigh

Edit:

0720202024-2500

I did it , I finally finsihed it. I’m traumatized LMAO but not as much as when I first read the first 70 episodes.

I’ll love you, even when you don’t remember my face.

OR,

what happens when you give me free reign