#mimicofmodes

College can be tricky as an age indicator, since one can start college or graduate college at just about any adult age. My favorite face journey is when people think you’re too young to be in college and then they find out you already have a degree.

I am absolutely not thinking those things! <<<<<<<3 We are much the same creatures. (I know it doesn’t help much as I’m another female friend, but …)

Nah, it does help because every strike is a blow against the indifference of men! Is a reminder of what is really important. I think that’s probably a good thing and probably helpful. <3

thebarefootflapper replied to your post:

I got my hair cut today and I look really cute and...

Boy is this post relatable. I mean, except from the accomplished in other areas of life bit (which I’m just not - I’m not very smart and/or interesting in any way, shape or form), I feel exactly the same way. Internet dating is scary af, (especially when even that seems to be based on an initial physical attraction of sorts) but it just seems like the only way to meet anyone these days. I also wish I had a therapist but I’m so broke right now!

Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty accomplished! I am amazed by what you can do with make-up. I feel panicked and out of place just walking through the make-up sections of department stores and never actually try to learn more because I’m too ashamed of my ignorance to ask! And you always look amazing and have such knowledge about it. I don’t know if you’ll believe but I’m completely sincere!

Internet dating is ... yeah. Something else to examine with a therapist! I wonder if I should try again but I think I need someone to write my profile for me (because the ones I’ve got are clearly crap) and hold my hand through the process. Not someone who has a very different attitude to dating to me, however, and simply cannot appreciate my very real hang-ups over it. Because one of the worst things has been people trying to tell me how to do it and how it works in a way that might work for them but just makes me feel even worst because I am not like that. (Nothing wrong with people who are confident going on dates, even bad dates, and who can use it as many people clearly do use it - all power to them, but they’re not the right person to help me.)

I will try to pass on anything from my therapist that seems helpful; I know I’m in a fortunate position financially at the moment to be able to afford a therapist. Though tbh I haven’t been overly impressed so far. I mean, she’s nice and encouraging and I just go and spill all the stuff that’s on my mind but basically I just talk a lot and she asks a few prompts, some of which have provoked some interesting thoughts but others haven’t really. But I’ve only had a few sessions and perhaps it takes a bit of time. After all, it’s not like when I saw the school counsellor a few years back when my uncle died and I was deeply distressed and it was sort of obvious what the problem was and how I could be supported. This is much more “there’s stuff that’s holding me back in life and I want to try to resolve it but I’m not sure what or how and I’m not actively in a bad place mental health-wise but I know I’m not quite right either” and that’s trickier to tease out. Especially considering I’m so self-aware so in some ways I’ve already anticipated and answered her questions before she asks them. But knowing myself isn’t the same as being able to change and that’s what I really want! *sigh* I’ll get there!

Nice! What program do you use?

My mum yesterday on the phone: So you don’t have...

I wish I could help but I don’t really know the answers to these either. :(

I feel like I’m messing up every aspect of life...

I have not yet managed even 1667 words on my NaNo short story!

Just watched the first episode of The Casual...

I think non-sff shows without OTT darkness is a hard sell to Tumblr, tbh. But their loss!

Ayup. I agree. Though it has a lot of darkness, far more than any of the darkness in the shows we're both thinking of. The difference is that this is darkness that is only too relatable and real. It is clearly lacking in:

- aliens/metal monsters - white men with super powers - white men who might be into each other but this will never be proved - fan favourite lesbians (spoiler: one of them dies) - a spunky, hot heroine who is everyone's "bae" - a love triangle that will start shipping wars and ruin the fandom - a nostalgic, chocolate-box representation of England - Benzadril Cucumberpatch - a secret organisation working to fight the monsters - one person of colour - one American character there for no reason except to make its transition to the States more likely - no women apart from the bae and the lesbians - dragons

I should write it.

Benzadril Cucumberpatch plays Walter, a nerdy comic store owner whose life is changed forever when he discovers that dragons really exist as the plot of one of his comic books comes to life. With the help of his assistant Schmidt (Eddie Redmayne) and Schmidt's cooky sister, Elsa (Jennifer Lawrence) he goes on an epic quest to find the elusive author of the comic book and work out why the characters are coming to life. Along the way, they join forces with a secret organisation who has heard about books coming to life for years and exists to put them back within their pages. It is headed up by stereotypical Englishman Edgar (Colin Firth) with his devious, gay assistant Amanda (Michelle Dockery) who may or may not be working to undermine the whole organisation because she is in love with the Queen of Darkness from another comic book (Lana Parilla). Until she meets Walter which makes her instantly question her gayness. But not in an interesting way. And heaven forbid anyone uses the term bisexual. Edgar sends Walter, Schmidt and Elsa (who is also madly in love with Walter) to find the wise author who can explain everything (Idris Elba) to tell them how to defeat the Queen of Darkness and her minions but their quest is fraught with danger because Amanda is working against them. In the final climax of S01, Walter finds out about Amanda's betrayal but forgives her anyway which causes her to sacrifice herself for him. (But don't worry - she's probably not dead permanently.) At the moment when all seems lost, an emissary from the American office, Dwayne (Chris Hemsworth) arrives to save the day and pave the way for either S02 or an American spin-off. The Queen of Darkness is vanquished (for now), Walter and Schmidt share a touching, totally platonic moment and Elsa realises that maybe she can make Walter jealous by pretending to be into Dwayne for a bit. Edgar says something smart and they all go back to the office in Little Twee-on-the-Wold for tea and crumpets.