politely requesting a breakdown of Arab wedding traditions for #research purposes if possible specifically Lebanese pls and thanq /nf :)
U REQUEST I DELIVER XD
first off there are a few things to keep in mind like regional differences, religous leanings and influence, cultural practices and traditions, and ofc the current state of things. enticing.
to set the scene well start with establishing that
weddings are huge here. literally the loudest most vibrant event u will ever go to lol or experience
culture and religion and traditions are all influencing factors and therefore differ greatly depending on when and where u are
it will be memorable for everyone involved lmao. its a very siginificant time in ur life to show up and be part of the community bc societies here are very family centric. *insert dom toretto meme*
this will undeniably be very me lol. i cant and dont speak for everyone, i have attended a grand total of like. 3 weddings lmao (very un-arab of me ik lol) hence im not the most knowledgable so pls pls pls if anyone would be kind as to share there own experiences or insight go right ahead!!!
this is going to be a long ass post lol pls bear with me im very scatterbrained and a yapper. sorry in advance
now that thats out of the way, mabrook to the couple lets get this party started. yes i wll be promptly seeing myself out lmao
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starting with jordan and the (muslim) traditions im familiar with, what u need to know is the distinction between religion and culture: in this case the cultural and community celebration that u associate with partying and dabkeh and the pearliest white dress is all AFTER the actual wedding contract ceremony XD buckle in buttercups lol
say im (re)marrying a moot of mine lol, (@sporadicallyanenthusiast hey bbg :3 care to practice for the big day with me hehe 😌🌺), the process starts with us meeting. and by us i mean our families lmao;
like i said societies here are family centric, and in accordance to islamic values (namely no intimacy between the couple till theyre wed and lawful to each other) so typically and regardless of how the couple end up together (which ill get back to) the families initiate the process and its kinda cute in that (this varies btw) theres several iterations of asking for the brides hand. allow me to explain lol
i meet my darling babs, our families get in touch, if a connection is established and both parties consent to continuing, the typical structure is as follows: tulbeh -> jaha -> khutbeh & katb kitab -> zaffeh & fardeh & waleema. translation and elaboration lol:
tulbeh from the word talab (asking, requesting) is the formal asking of a brides hand by the grooms family. so in this case my parents (and the entire village if u let them lol /j) would approach my beloveds parents/ family to be like hey can we make this work mayhaps. meeting greeting discussing etc ensues.
this is followed by whats called al fatiha, where the first chapter of the quran (al fatiha) is read to basically establish intentions. which i for some reason find funny lol. nothing has happened yet, were just here to verbally confirm were interested in pursuing this relationship further.
jaha is the tradition wherein the families meet again after the initial yes to dance dabkeh and eat yummy stuff to further solidify the union between families aw :> here (jordan) jaha is what the men of the family go to.
henna party!! now that i think of it ig u can say its the corresponding event of a jaha lol
btw im like half sure the jaha coincides with or comes right after the formal engagement where the couple are now husband and wife but i could be wrong. assuming that im right tho lol;
the marriage contract ceremony is called katb kitab (literally writing the book) and now legally and religously the couple are married. ie the husband can visit his wife anytime now (and she doesnt wear a hijab around him anymore or her father in law etc) but the moving in together happens after the wedding <- culture thing but they can consumate the marriage right after. bc theyre married. anyway
even tho theyre married now, the couple are called engaged till the big fancy wedding lol, called a zaffeh (verbal celebratory event?)
the engagement is called khutbeh. u also have to go to get civilly married last i checked. so u have muslim contract and also wedding certificate i think.
the fardeh is when the cars on the way to the venue honk their souls out and wake up everyone and fill the streets lol. the grooms car is decorrated with flowers and stuff and its really cute. always makes me smile
the waleema is the wedding feast! womens side typically have mezzes that in all fairness are a million times easier to eat in full glam than mansaf lol. tho i have sulked about it before XD
the wedding (ores عرس) is seperated btw so as to give everyone the space to enjoy themselves, but theres a part towards the end where the men of the brides family go to bid her farewell one last time (very emotional) before she leaves. forever. ooh im going to cry
so to recap. me and babs' families are the parties that approach each other on our behalves to both initiate and settle the details after. the period between the first yes and the ceremony is establishing the connection between the couple and ensuring their compatability etc, bc so far nothing has been signed no commitment has been made yet. assuming all goes well, mabrook, the contract is signed, the wedding date and details are decided at some point lol and up until then the preparations commence. now for the obligatory tangent:
in islam the husband is the breadwinner and guardian of the household and part of the wifes marital right is the mahr, or dowry. wont bore u further bc u can look it up lol, but the important thing is that dowries arent meant to be burdens!! this is sadly the reality that weddings can be extremely expensive and exploitative and that sucks and is reflective of the industry and corruption and capitalism etc and not the religious practices. bc its supposed to be not a burden and not showing off :(
the tldr is that its a sum of money for the bride in the case of divorce to provide her with financial security. this is all part of the talking stage before the signing, so everyone is aware and in agreement beforehand. and to reiterate its her legal right in islam, this isnt a culture thing
back to the wedding. the fardeh is the trip from the brides house to the venue and i think thats the third time asking for her hand (now ft giving her away lol) which as u can tell is a formal ritual based tradition that serves to strengthens ties between the two now connected families and maintains that bond between them. kinda cute lol ive never thought of it before.
ALSO THE HENNA NIGHT/ PARTY HOW COULD I FORGET XD my uncle got married in february so its the most recent one in my mind. anyway my aunt is palestinian so her henna night was a really beautiful blend of jordanian and palestinian tradition, it was very special and essentially a girls night full of dancing and having fun XD i think we had something of a dance off with the playlist being half palestinian songs and half jordanian lmao. palestinian thobes were the clear winner of the night lol everyone looked so radiant <3
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so thats all pre wedding (woof XD) what happens at the wedding? well from the womens side i can tell u a few things:
theres no such thing as upstaging the bride. the more ur dress and make up are visible from space the better lol
loud. so loud
lots of dancing and zaghareet (ululations) and more dancing
heels hurt omfg im not built for this
food <3
u might cry. its pretty emotional (the couples entrance can be pretty dramatic lmao but the farewell will def make u sob)
weddings are typically no kids allowed (for sheer number lol not for lack of love for kids and their shenanigans) the exception is the immediate family of the bride and groom. no guest kiddos tho
wedding invitations are really pretty have i mentioned that yet
CAKE!!!!! AND BIG SWORD!!!!! >:D!!!
more dancing lol. ur here to dance and celeberate the beginning of a new life (and the end of an old one now that i think of it :'))
im sure theres honeymoon and post wedding stuff but i dont know the first thing about either lol. did read something abt the couple like giving back to the family kinda by hosting and inviting family members over. its pretty interesting to know its like a tradition i never thought of it as anything outside of regular family visiting stuff. but it makes sense to congratulate the couple again on the marriage and visit the marital home (when ppl move in to a new place theres a visit thats specifally for congratulating the move lol). so theres that :)
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okay thats everything off the top of my head. of a muslim jordanian wedding. lebanon as u know has a very rich and diverse tapestry of faiths and customs so itll vary but i think weddings in the region have a similar vibe (esp in regards to family involvement). other than that idk much else forgib me, the most ive seen mentioned online was costs being split between bride and groom (brides family pays for engagement and grrom pays for wedding i think? but even then religion and even sect differed. so depends on what ur going for)
wkjeekw its late and my braincells are out of juice so fogive me if this is all over the place :') goodnight and good luck writing lol <3
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tell me everything you know about tbis NOW /nf /lh
(my friend needs it for her fanfic)
(tbis: traumatic brain injury and my main reference is this nih article)
AIGHT SO heres both an overview and what i assume ur fren wants to know for whump purposes lol:
WHAT IS TBI: brain injury caused by a mechanical force, be it blunt trauma or a penetrative object (like a bullet or bone fragments)
CAN TBI BE PSYCHOLOGICAL? NO!!! a traumatic brain injury can result of course in psychological damage or stress that leads to ptsd for example, but by definition tbi is a physical injury.
WHAT DOES TBI DO/ WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? fantastic question, well it depends on what part of the brain is affected;
quick anatomy lesson lmao: the brain as u know is divided into hemispheres (right and left). the brain as a whole is divided into lobes as well (in this case the blues greens yellows and reds). so far these categories are all structural/ directional; we havent yet gotten into what they do.
if i say temporal lobe (green stuff. i know its says occipital but trust me bro i know what im talking about. also u can look it up lol) thats where the temple is! hence the name, and it recieves auditory (hearing) information bc thats where the ear nerves enter :3
anyway u see those numbers? well each one is an area. and we had to learn each damn one lmao :') anyhows these areas are functional; they tell me what they do, therefore any damage to an area affects this brain function.
like in the case of stroke patients (a stroke is a blood clot, and if the body is unable to deal with it for whatever reason and it continues to block the blood flow to the brain, cells will begin to die of hunger, bc the blood carries the stuff it needs as well as takes out the wastes. anyway if an area dies its like a skill is being erased. ofc theres like a window of time where the damage is reversible, ill get into that later)
take area 22 for example, were still in the temporal lobe btw, it contains part of whats called wernickes area, and its in charge of language comprehension. damage to area 22 results in whats called wernickes aphasia (aka receptive aphasia) wherein the patient faces difficulty in comprehending, recieving, language. they can still speak of course, but their speech is referred to as word salad; theyre fluent but cant be understood.
tldr; where the individual recieves (?) the tbi and how expansive the damage is determines what brain function is impaired or lost.
ill leave reading the symptoms/ presentation of tbi for u :3
WHERE ARE THE BIG MEDICAL WORDS: im getting to it omg. injury is a very broad term that holds the capacity for a million categories and subcategories, but going with the article above with what i hope is the most relevant for u lol:
diffuse axonal injury: if u have ever seen a generic nerve it looks like a tree and the axon is the trunk and its job is to relay electrical impulses (fun fact look up saltatory conduction i beg u pls its so cool). injury to the axon fucks all of that up. its the most common kind of tbi and the damage itself as u can imagine interferes with communication withing the nervous tissue.
slight tangent but impulses/ messages can be chemical or electrical, so in the case of dai and axonal damage it can release said chemicals (neurotransmitters like acetylcholine) that makes everything worse :')
concussion: needs no introduction lol and ranges from mild to severe. the idea is that a crowbar to the noggin does diffuse damage.
haematoma: prefix haem- means blood and suffix -oma means tumor/ swelling. hence haematoma is a collection of blood outside the vessels it should be in. a cranial haematoma is just one inside the skull (and there are several types depending on where/ which layer its in. long story) which is dangerous bc it squishes the brain and that hurts like hell i can imagine but most importantly the increased pressure makes it harder for blood to move around which may result in seizures (abnormal brain electricity), comas, and possibly even death
contusion: basically a brain bruise. the difference between a concussion and a contusion? surface area and severity; contusions are more local/ precise and more severe bc the brain tissue is like actually bruised, whereas a concussion is more spread out. ig u can think of it like jam on toast; the more u spread it out lol the less sharp it tastes? idk if anyone can explain it better pls be my guest XD
rapid movement (like in a car accident) that leads the brain to do the dvd logo bounceâ„¢ within the skull (its floating btw in a fluid, part of its job is shock absorption. physics my dudes <3) btw is a whole thing bc if the brain bounces both the front and the back can be bruised (double whammy fr) but i wont bore u with more details fjdks
secondary stuff: can be a follow up to the og injury, more gradual, kinda like how u recover from an initial shock and then the pain hits u like a bag of wet mice (wait what).
im running out of brain juice forgib me so ill just list a few of the mentioned causes; infections, low blood pressure/ oxygen flow due to injury, hydrocephalus (fluid build up in le brain), seizures and more.
BRAIN STUFF: heres probably what every whump writer has looked up at least once lmao:
the brain peaces out when oxygen supply is cut off. depending on how long u can hold ur breath (athletes and smokers have very different lung capacities for example) theres an upper limit ur body can take. after that u pass out. (ofc the concentration of oxygen and timing blah blah are all factors that determine the trajectory of events but who wants to do the math lol)
a few minutes of oxygen deprivation later the cells start to die of starvation. the brain is a very oxygen hungry organ, but with the right treatment the individual can regain consciousness and recover brain activity and function. BUTT
theres a cut off point here as well, up until now the damage is reversible, however after i think the 4 (?) minute mark le cells start to die for good. there is no replacing what dies, bc nerves dont regenerate or divide (some do tho but not the ones here).
the damage a stroke does is essentially cutting off the oxygen supply in an organ or to the tissue. if it goes on too long regardless of where it is in the body some damage is permanent (gangrene for example is really advanced cell death due to a lack of blood flow (among other things) and an infarct/ stroke can cause it.
anyhows i mentioned wernickes area in the case of a stroke and how depending on how severe the damage is (how big the clot was and how long it took between the injury and the intervention) the potential complications but also the treatment plans/ options are determined.
IN CONCLUSION tis pretty case by case and im by no means an expert, im but a nerd who loves to procrastinate lmao but feel more than free to ask and send stuff and ill do my best to answer or at least point u in the right direction (hopefully lol) thank u and take care :>
