salam, jazakallah sooo much for sitting down and taking the time to answer my ask!! And thank you for the book rec, I'll be buying that and having a read, it sounds really good :)
a lot of your answers make a lot of sense, ig my only thing about:
Inheritance would be the expectations that the man provides - which a lot of the time isn't true e.g. men just shirking their responsibilities. Also doesn't it kind of set up bioessentialism in the sense that as the man he must go out and work and therefore anturally the woman can go out to work but more often than not she usually has to stay home
also in terms of hijab (I'm a hijabi) I've always thought of it as being proud of showing my identity but then I think well in a certain way the restrictions on women are far greater e.g. covering up to their wrists and ankles and not showing hair as opposed to men - I know both must wear loose clothing but more often than not you'll see guys in loose shorts whereas a woman is covered top to toe. It makes me think that hijab is partly to do with sexuality because why can she only uncover around mehram whereas men have no such impositions on them if that makes sense??
and the concubine stuff I do get that it's contextual but it does make me think - certain things in the book don't really make sense applied today but isn't the book meant to be for all times? But people are so resistant to change
hi again :D u are very welcome! inshallah we both come out gaining new knowledge and perspective✨
i hope that in the first ask we established the disparity between interpretations (including biases in the exegesis/ eisegesis of some) and how it influences practice, highlighting the double standards of a system built on and maintained by the subjugation and exploitation of the percieved inferior sex etc and how culture has bled into faith, blurred the lines so much its let things like traditions (misogynistic for example) be excused and perpetuated under the guise of religion.
islam provides us a framework and i think its a so sad the fact is so little recognised as such? like yeah we have laws but we also have principles and things like ijtihad and qiyas that help us determine legality for example for when modern day issues have no direct counterpart to the time period the quran was revealed in etc. anyhows i digress
hm i see where ur coming from but a mans qawwamah (mainly financial responsibility and not the supreme authority its twisted into meaning) automatically means a woman cant work or support herself? like putting aside the incompetance (a wife can divorce her husband if her needs arent met btw its a marital right) where does it say anywhere that shes only fit to look pretty and procreate? unable to work and povide bc she is the dainty weak sex etc? nowhere. what couples decide to do is up to them like is aid in the last ask, but as a rule i genuinely think its more flexible than its made out to be. when society is constructed a certain way legislations will reflect it ig. i think the takeaway here is that difference isnt proof of inequality
on that point up until recently men and women both worked excruciatingly to provide for the household; my great grandmothers gave birth to both my grandfathers in the fields they worked in and literally got up back to work (literal fields lol my family is falahi) like the trad wife bs is in no way universal nor should it ever be made out to be the singular + correct way to live. remember how textiles was huge until it was deemed womans work and therefore unskilled/ less important labour and decreased in value etc the erosion of a womans role isnt new nor is it the fault of islam.
again lady khadija was a very wealthy business woman who supported herself as a widow. women can very much work and are not only quiet good at it but have been since the dawn of time. alongside above and below men too there really is no one size fits all, and islam provides the framework and in the case of the wife a safety net hence the mahr too. nothing inherently less about her. look at all the muslim women kicking ass in their fields. theres much to unlearn i think for all of us in regards to what islam does and doesnt say and what weve been told it does.
yay fellow hijabi <3!! the double standards are insane no one bats an eye if a guys awrah is exposed but will all but murder a woman if god forbid a sliver of skin (or even a lot of it women cant catch a fucking break) shows or some hair or whatever it is. the entitlement is crazy. anyhows i think u will have to sort ur feelings or figure what works for u; its not something i feel i can give the perfect illuminating answer to tbh?? if its anything at all tho ive noticed a lot of sisters having improved relationships with modesty and hijabs/ niqabs after consciously decentering men from the whole equation. modesty is between you and god it should never be about a man nor his arousal (gags) bc u are not a walking sex object and they have rules they should be abiding to but dont. watcha gonna do about it (dies in the corner)
forgive me if any of this feels like im deflecting or something so many things im at peace with are due to my experiences being pretty decent/ not having religious trauma (that i know of fjddjhj) so theres plenty im learning too and if i dont have answers ill be honest and say so. gotta practice humility✨
i dont????? remember talking about concubines????? what???? but yeah people are so resistant to not only change but like being pointed out that hey ur kinda doing it wrong/ could be doing it a better way and boy howdy no one likes to be told that lol. which is a shame when did this arrogance become so normal whya re you doubling down on it etc. anyhows like i said islam is a framework, things we dont have anymore (most famously are bondspeople (not to be confused with chattel slavery please and thank you) being mentioned in a few places in the quran) we have alternatives for (in this case they were given in the same verse iirc) but more than that the principles and core values that didnt change (another famous example was the ruling on blood transfusion and organ donation, not only allowed but encouraged and rewarded greatly for saving lives etc) so yeah my beloved nuance💝 she too is in this episode lol
inshallah ive done a good job of clearing up a few more things? moots and peeps insight welcome lemme know what ur perspective is :3
