Insights From Middle Adulthood: A Conversation With Marisa Mabait

Middle adulthood is often described as a stage of transition—physically, emotionally, and socially. To understand this period better, I interviewed the mother of my partner, Mrs. Marisa Mabait, who is currently 46 years old. Her experiences offer a genuine look into the realities of life between the ages of 40 and 60, revealing not only the changes she has gone through, but also the wisdom she hopes to pass on to the younger generation.

Physical Changes and Health Awareness

For Marisa, aging became more noticeable as she entered her 40s. She shared, “Pag edad nako ug 40 kay nagtaba nako… before 40, my weight was 42 kg, but when I reached 40, it slowly became 54 kg and eventually 63 kg.”

Gaining weight was one of the biggest physical changes she observed. Despite this, she maintains her health in a simple but consistent way. She admitted she does not exercise regularly, saying, “Wala ko ga exercise. Nagakaon lang ko ug gulay pirme.” Eating vegetables daily has become her main strategy for staying healthy, showing that even small, steady habits can matter.

Shifting Priorities: Wants vs. Needs

As she matured, her view on wants and needs changed significantly. Her mindset now is practical and grounded: “Mga priority lang jud ang unahon, dili unahon ang dili kailangan.”

This reflects how middle adulthood often brings a stronger focus on necessities especially when family responsibilities grow. For Marisa, unnecessary luxuries take a back seat to what truly matters.

Pride in Accomplishments

When asked about what she is most proud of, Marisa did not mention wealth, achievements, or awards. Instead, she proudly said, “Gitagaan kog mga anak na buotan.”

For her, being blessed with good and respectful children is the greatest accomplishment of her life. It shows how success in middle adulthood is often measured through family and relationships rather than external achievements.

Balancing Work, Family, and Personal Life

Time management is Marisa’s biggest challenge, but also one of her greatest strengths. She explained, “Before ko mulakaw, magluto ko daan para sa akong mga anak, para naa silay makaon before ko muadto sa trabaho.”

Her daily routine reflects the typical reality of many middle-aged parents: balancing responsibilities at home while fulfilling duties at work. The need to multitask becomes essential during this stage of life.

Coping With Emotional Challenges

When facing emotional struggles or life transitions, Marisa turns to faith and communication. “Number one jud is mag pray. Si Lord man jud ang makatabang. Ug dapat naa kay istoryahan para ipagawas imong gibati.”

For her, prayer provides strength, and expressing emotions helps lighten the burden. This highlights the importance of emotional support and spirituality in maintaining well-being during middle adulthood.

Life Lessons Learned

Marisa’s biggest life lesson is simple yet powerful: “Kung kabalo ka na mali, dili na buhaton.”

She believes that recognizing what is wrong, and choosing not to do it—is essential to protecting oneself and others. It reflects a mature understanding of responsibility and consequences, developed through years of experience.

Advice for the Youth

Marisa hopes that young people today, especially her own children, understand the value of education. Her advice is heartfelt:

“Unahon gyud ang pagskwela… para na sa ila. Makakita sila’g trabaho na maayo, dili sila maglisod. Dili parehas sa amoang naagian ba, working student, walay support, sariling sikap.”

She wants the youth to work hard, study well, and choose a path that will give them a better future than what she experienced. Her message reflects the sacrifices and hopes of many parents in middle adulthood.

Conclusion

Through Marisa Mabait’s experiences, we see how middle adulthood shapes a person’s priorities, values, and understanding of life. Her journey shows that beyond the physical changes and responsibilities, this stage is filled with growth, wisdom, and deep reflections.

Seasons of Purpose: Growing Beyond Oneself

"Nurturing others, creating lasting impact, and embracing meaningful change."

Stage Seven: Generativity vs. Stagnation

Joel, a 40-year-old, clearly reflects Erikson’s stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. In this period of middle adulthood, individuals strive to contribute meaningfully to society and guide the next generation. As a pastor, he supports people in their spiritual and personal lives, offers guidance during difficult times, and actively mentors the youth to become responsible, confident individuals. He loves spending his free time going to different churches and meeting different people. His commitment to nurturing growth in others demonstrates a deep sense of care and purpose, showing that he is successfully navigating this stage by leaving a positive and lasting impact on those around him. 

At 40, he begins to notice gradual physical changes typical of middle adulthood. His stamina slightly decreased, and he experiences early signs of aging such as slower metabolism, minor bodyaches, and reduced recovery time, especially important because he also works as a vehicle technician, and a real estate agent, requiring physical effort and a weekly busy schedule. 

Cognitively, Joel is in a period of peak expertise. His years of experience in many fields allow him to solve problems efficiently, think practically, and make wise decisions. His ability to reason, plan, and multitask is strong. He also uses advanced social understanding and emotional intelligence when guiding church members and mentoring youth, showing mature and well-developed cognitive abilities.

Joel’s roles—as a pastor, a father, a husband, and a mentor—show that he is deeply engaged in meaningful relationships and community life. He derives fulfillment from guiding others spiritually, supporting his family, and contributing to the growth of younger people. This reflects generativity, the desire to nurture, lead, and leave a positive impact. His sense of identity is strengthened through service, relationships, and purpose.

I love women.

And when I say that, it goes far beyond appearances or the ideals society has painted for us. It’s about a woman’s energy, her mannerisms, her character—those qualities that shine through even in the darkest of times.

Just like Nanay Evelyn, a 63-year-old single mother of three fine men. She is the epitome of grace, strength, and resilience. When I first met her, I couldn’t believe her age. If I bet all my money, I’m sure no one could have guessed she’s 63. At first glance, she looked much younger than she actually is, still healthy like a teenager, and still chic as ever!

One of the reasons I love women is because of their stories—each one a testament to the strength and fascination of being a woman. When I interviewed Nanay Evelyn, she eagerly shared hers, never letting a dull moment pass during the hours we spent together. My heart broke when she told me she was cheated on by her ex-husband multiple times that ultimately led to a broken family. Left alone with her three sons, she took on the responsibility of raising them by herself.

Yet, despite everything, she rose above it all. Her strength didn’t waver. When I asked her about the physical changes she’s noticed over the years, she laughed and said, “Well, the wrinkles are there, and my knees aren’t as strong as they used to be, but I make sure to walk every morning and eat healthy. That keeps me feeling young.” Her glowing skin and energy spoke volumes about her commitment to self-care.

On cognitive milestones, she shared how her outlook on life has shifted. “I’ve learned to let go of the small things,” she told me. “At my age, I’ve realized that peace of mind is more valuable than anything else. I focus on what truly matters—my family, my health, and my faith.” Her wisdom felt like a warm reminder of life’s true priorities. And I couldn't help but to think of his ex-husband poor choices. Imagine letting a woman like Nanay Evelyn walk out of your life, poor choices man...

When we touched on socioemotional aspects, she beamed when talking about her greatest joys. “Seeing my sons grow into responsible men is my biggest achievement,” she said. But challenges still exist. “Sometimes, I feel lonely. My children have their own families now, and while I’m happy for them, the house can feel quiet.” Still, she cherishes the moments they come together and finds comfort in reconnecting with friends and neighbors.

The aging process becomes more evident in middle adulthood. The eyes lose their ability to move at different distances to points, known as presbyopia. With vision deficits, most people between the ages of 40 and 60 may require some form of corrective lenses. For certain eye problems, such as glaucoma, middle-aged people are also at higher risk than younger adults. Women experience a gradual decline in fertility as they approach the onset of menopause. This process involves hormonal changes and can last from six months to five years. Due to shifting hormone levels, menopausal women also experience a variety of other symptoms, such as depression, poor memory, lack of concentration, depressive mood, irritability, mood swings, and less interest in sexual activity.