#mheerwrites

Madara: I'll handle this

Tobirama: NO, you most certainly will NOT handle this! Last time you 'talked', the natives nearly boiled us alive and offered us to their GODS

I'LL negotiate

Kakashi Hatake

Lone wolf

A renowned pirate but has been off the radar for a very long time

No one, apart from a select few, know his whereabouts

Previously, the Captain of Temari's ship while she was his First mate

Has the reputation of a philanderer when he is, in fact, a virgin (No one knows, except for Temari - she's sworn to secrecy). He finds the situation very funny and exploits it.

Keeps the lower half of his face covered, unless he wants to use it for distraction.

Frequents the town pubs for intel but never gets drunk (Fears people will see him become a blushing mess)

Is attracted by anything that has two legs and a human brain.

Gaara

An Earl

An adoptive son; presumably found starved in the docks by the family's butler at the age of 3

Pretends to be an airhead but has the mind of a tactician

Peruses the family library as often as he can and has a keen interest in genealogy (go figure)

Finds his father's business dealings a little shady and tends to use his reputation of being 'slow' to get information from every nook and cranny

Has very little memory of his past but often dreams of teal eyes and a girl's laughter

TenTen

Brothel owner by day and weapons’ dealer by night

Works for Temari and runs her spy network in town, is always aware of Kakashi's whereabouts, much to his dismay

Hates Kiba's guts

Keeps multiple daggers strapped to her body; specializes in long-range shooting

Has a mean right hook

Single? She has nightly adventures with an anonymous man but keeps her private life, well, private - no one knows his identity

Was tasked with a mission by Temari when she joined the crew 10 years ago and is doggedly trying to find the missing links to wrap it up

Sasuke Uchiha

A sought after shipbuilder who does sculpture on the side as a hobby

Reminds people of a cat

Doesn't care who commissions the work. Gotta get that bread.

Was not amused when Kiba approached him with the idea of Temari wanting a figurine made at the bow of her ship with the likeness of a certain commander - He's tired

Has worked in multiple mansions for long periods of times and knows quite a lot about the going-ons of the elite

Cast intro 1 | Cast intro III

(Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Shikamaru)

People, I am bored and feel like I'm at my wit's end for the past few days so imma do this for no better reason than pure self-indulgence, feel free to add to this if you enjoyed it <3

Naruto Uzumaki

Not gonna lie, my boy gives me intense scribble vibes from his personality but I low-key also think he must've attempted at bettering his calligraphy skills to either impress Sakura at some point in the beginning or do it out of pure spite because of Sasuke's elegant script lol pulling this straight outta my arse tho because like, he copied all those Icha Icha manuscripts for DAYS so hey, it would've gone for the worse *shrugs*

Pirate AU - Cast

Temari

Captains her own ship; the kind of pirate who’s respected by her entire crew and beyond

Very few have managed to catch a glimpse of the deep red monstrosity she sails but those who have either join the crew or refuse to talk about the encounter

Loves the cat and mouse chase between her and Colonel Nara, who was sent to arrest her. They’ve only met once and the man managed to catch the fiesty pirate’s eye instantly

In one of her moods, she would venture into the city in disguise and teasingly climb the colonel’s wall and peek through his window, smirking and jesting at his expense until he would go red with confusion and embarrassment; at this point, her crew isn’t sure whether it’s easy for her to evade capture or that the Colonel’s finally enraptured by her

Shikamaru Nara

Hates his current job. Why must he scour the width of the ocean to find a theiving blonde who refuses to give him privacy at night and makes him question his wit and genius, one that is talked about across the seven seas?

Hardly smiles. You will most likely see him brooding or frowning in some corner of his ship.

He has seasickness. Enough said.

Has managed to catch Temari three times, all of which ended in a compromising situation where he ends up with a mysterious hickey (how does she get this close??) and a desperate need for a bucket of ice water.

An expert swordsman and navigator

The head cartographer of his state

Kiba Inuzuka

A crewman on Temari’s ship, responsible for the ship’s sails, the loot, and scouting

Served as a soldier in the King’s army but defected after watching his family get killed on false charges

Is in love with a baron’s daughter and tends to watch her from the city square or the pub door whenever she visits the center with her friends

high key wants to just grab her and take her with him, consequences be damned, he’s a flipping pirate after all

Pokes fun at the colonel whenever the two ships come close enough and trolls the other’s crew as much as he can

Cast intro 2

Where, for the longest time after his bond was made with Kakashi, pup Pakkun thought he's the one taking Kakashi on his missions and training the human pup himself

He would assess a situation at top speed after being summoned and start barking orders until Kidkashi would have to stop him in his tracks and make it seem like 'there are other options' that'll help the mission; Kakashi always went along and never said anything, always finding it amusing

A/N: This story is written for fun and games with a general plot in mind. It'll have fluff (sfw), it'll have spice (nsfw) and most importantly, the whole shebang is through Kiba's perspective. Weird, I know, but it's not going to be that bad I promise lol

Words: 590

~

It's times like these, where I'm in tricky situations like hanging upside down on one leg, off a precariously built wooden scaffolding, with a raging fat man foaming at the mouth, screaming to cut my balls off, when I truly question what I'm doing with my life. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the worst that has happened in my blessed 29 years in this beautiful lifetime, but some moments really make you wonder don't they...

Like, wasn't I just across the road in that Inn, flirting with that lovely barmaid? Or was that yesterday? The timing and details are irrelevant here.

"Oi! Say...can a man get a clap of thunder here before he's forced to go meet his maker?", might as well get a shot of booze in before heading back.

"No rum fo filfy pirates like yew, now shut ye trap! I'll be takin' mi bounty as soon as the redcoats arrive."

"PIRATE?! Who? Me?! I'll have you know sir, I'm an up-class citizen! I beg you, let me go, I have a small lad waiting for his father at home, he needs feeding sir!"

His face twitched into a grimace as the fat man pressed the blunt blade to his chest a little harder and tore through the fabric. Fucker, that's a new shirt.

"Besides, I took a nice long bath just this morning after I enjoyed the pleasurable company of your lovely wife, great lungs on that one, don’t you think?"

It did the trick. The man howled in anger and swung back his sword to go at him again, giving Kiba just enough time to pull himself up and avoid getting his neck botched. He quickly slipped out a dagger from his boot and cut through the pitiful knots, narrowly missing another swing of the sword. As the sinews gave away, he turned and winked at the raging barber underneath.

"As much as it pains me to cut this meeting short, I'll have to say my goodbyes mate, I have a ship to catch and some loot to take back!", he kicked off the structure and swung himself to the right, somersaulting in mid-air to land firmly on his feet; right next to the confiscated bag of coins.

Grabbing the bag, he made a sprint towards the docks, zigzagging his way through the crowd, sending winks to passing ladies and finally parkouring the last 10 feet to the ship till he hit the deck with a loud thud.

He swaggered his way to the Captain's chambers and dropped the bag on the desk.

"All of 30,000 sterlings from his personal vault and some added juicy insiders directly from the mouth of his wife's maidservant. You owe me new eardrums for that by the way, she was a screamer."

The captain raised an elegantly arched, blonde brow before redirecting her gaze to the coins.

"I see you managed to slip in some fun even on a quick, plundering night... not that I'm begrudging you that."

She stood up and slid out a map pressed under the sack of loot, carefully rolling it and slipping it silently inside one of the numerous drawers in her desk.

"So, how long till they sound the alarm?"

"Judging by his schedule, about five minutes."

She nodded, looking out the small window of her personal study; gesturing for him to follow her out. They made their way back to the deck and she smirked at her crew,

"Batten down the hatches lads! The mouse is coming out to play."

x

Naruto Uzumaki Head canons

Goes for a jog around Konoha early in the morning, everyday, and likes greeting the people out and about

Will declare his undying love for his wife whenever he sees her in public, even better if she blushes like old times

Likes to keep himself in shape despite the office job; has this father-son thing with Boruto where he’ll have the kid practice boxing on his abs for core training

Acts like a complete child around Shikamaru in the office and WILL throw a tantrum at least once a week; for no reason but to annoy the brunette of course

He has fangs. He knows how to use those fangs. Is better at using said fangs than Kakashi and Kiba are

Is a doting father; spends at least one Saturday sparring or hanging out with Boruto (when the kid isn’t on a mission), while Sundays are saved up for the lovely wife and his ‘little princess’

Visits the hospital sometimes to check on and catch up with Sakura

His words to his children: “You can do anything you want with your life and I’ll always be there for you; you just have to be willing to work hard enough to get it”

Will disappear for a whole day and spend time with Sasuke at least once a month; they like picking a vast, vacant area where they can go on full battle mode and sharpen their skills

Visits the Konoha orphanage as often as he can to spend time with the kids there and donates there the most

Words: 363

~

"Follow WHO??"

"Watch it, Commodore, we wouldn't want any reports of unseemingly behavior to reach the Duke would we?"

The fat man behind the desk puffed on his cigar as he glanced at the naval officer with bored eyes. It wasn't the first time someone refused to carry out an order during his office but this specific man...he was a special kind of soreness he hated to deal with, the kind that you couldn't get rid of until you acknowledged it and gave it a rest; ignoring never worked.

"That pirate bitch has been sighted again, your orders are to hunt her down and drag her in by her hair to the quarters. The Earl himself sanctioned it."

Shikamaru gritted his teeth to stop himself from making matters worse and chose to snatch the papers from the desk and head out instead.

He had been called in and pulled away from an important breakthrough in his research only to be given orders to catch a notorious theiving woman who refused to come and say a polite hello to the Earl of Noha; really though, why was this HIS problem? He was on a break!

Stomping onboard the Cernunnos, he started issuing orders to his men to ready the vessel for a chase.

"Remove the gangplank!

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEONE GET ME SOME CHAMOMILE OR A LICORICE ROOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SCRUB MY DINNER FROM LAST NIGHT OFF THE DECK."

-

"You seem excited", Kiba mused next to Temari, squinting at the naval vessel that was now gaining on them.

"Aren't you?", she retorted.

"It's been a while since we did something adventurous with the crew, no?"

Kiba looked at her with confusion written over his face which then turned into disdain.

"We're literally pirates, Temari..."

She rolled her eyes and gave the wheel a sharp turn, turning the ship at a sharp angle and changing course for the second time.

"I don't think that's wise but when have you ever seen reason", Kiba spat out the toothpick previously wedged between his teeth and told the crew to stand on guard, they were now waiting for the Cernunnos to come to them.

x

Cast intro I | Cast intro II