Louise’s personal experience with Emotional Abuse
This week we have Louise sharing her personal experience with Emotional Abuse. Take care everyone <3
Hi guys. I’m Louise and I’m gonna tell you a bit about my experience with emotionally abusive parents.
The thing about emotional abuse is that sometimes you don’t even realise that that’s what happening to you. I know I didn’t until I was a little older and had access to the internet. I thought that my parents were mean, and I realised the way they treated me wasn’t normal, but I didn’t realise that I could’ve done something about it.
I think when I look back on my childhood the most prominent memories are of never being good enough. I always had to try and meet a standard that was impossible to meet. I honestly believe that even had I met every standard I was set that they wouldn’t have been good enough. It will always stick in my mind the day I got my SAT results in year 9, that’s when I knew that I was never going to get that praise and approval I so badly wanted. I got a level 8 in Maths (which –not to brag- but it’s a seriously good grade) but I just about scraped the level 8, so it was an 8C. My dad said ‘well it wasn’t an 8A was it.’ That’s the kind of thing I dealt with on a daily basis, it could be anything that was that day’s topic – there was always something I hadn’t done well enough.
When I didn’t meet these standards I was often picked apart. I would receive criticisms on my weight (my dad’s favourite was to tell me I’d been sat around on my fat a** all day, when in actual fact I’d been to school and then done cleaning and prepared the dinner), I would be called lazy, and any other insults he’d decide to throw my way that day. He would then tell me that if I didn’t like it I could leave. When he was doing this shouting and picking me apart he would wind himself up as he went and kind of gain momentum and egg himself on to be more and more angry. He would stand over me and shout, and threaten me physically. It would get to the point where I was terrified for them to get in from work because I knew something wouldn’t be right and I knew I would get screamed at for it.
Whenever we went out to restaurants or saw other family, they would find a way to put me down in front of the other people that were around. I once spoke up about this on holiday and asked why they did it, when other people’s parents brag about how great their children are… and I was told I was awful for implying that they were mean and that it was only a joke. I’ve since learned that it is very common for abusers to make victims feel as though they are making everything up. If you believe that you may be suffering from any type of abuse, I strongly urge you to talk to someone and let them know what is going on. Your feelings matter, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. <3
