Hello there Sydney!

I am sorry to hearthat you feel hopeless and useless whilst talking to your friend about hisstruggles with OCD and anxiety. I hope I can help.

The thing I wouldsuggest is talking to him when he is well, so when he is not having an anxietyattack about what would help him when he is unwell. Maybe you could even writea “care plan”. On this care plan you could write what would help him, so copingstrategies, what you could talk about, whether that is something completelyunrelated to how he is at the time or give him space to talk about his anxietyand OCD. This should be completely his decision what goes in the care plan, butmaybe you could suggest some things.

For example in my careplan I have with a friend I speak about how I am with my friend and tell herwhat is upsetting me and then we will move on to talk about random things, likewhat we have done that day, what we are looking forward to etc.

Here are some examplesof what can go on his care plan;

Distractions. Listento music with him, go on a walk, watch a TV show, cook etc. This is great agreat way to distract him from what he is thinking or panicking about.

Mindfulness. Gothrough this exercise with him when he is feeling anxious. Choose a task to do,this can be anything from eating a snack to listening to a song, and tell himto use all five senses whilst completing the task. Remind him that if he findshis mind wandering, gently but firmly bring it back to the present task athand. Tell him that if he notices any negative thoughts to imagine them on acloud and watch them drift by in the sky, feeling the emotion but not acting onit.

Talk to him. Let himdirect the conversation, and let him talk about what he wants to talk aboutwhether that is how he is or completely random things to distract him. Come toa decision what would help the most before he has an anxiety attack.

Do breathingtechniques. Tell him to breathe in through his nose, counting to 3 and outthrough his mouth, counting to 5. Repeat this for 2-4 minutes or until he feelscalmer.

Tell him to visualisea happy place. Perhaps, whilst he is well, ask him to think of someplace thatmakes him happy, for example a beach or a library. Go into great detail aboutwhat would be in the happy place, what he can hear, what he can smell, what hecan see, what he can feel.

Rewards. When he hassuccessfully calmed down tell him to reward himself. This could be a new book,a meal out, a nice walk, a hot chocolate etc.

Remember that he is incharge of his care plan but you are there to support him as much as possible. Alsoremember that your experiences whilst he is distressed is valid. You may feelanxious too or upset and it is important that you look after yourself.

I hope this helped!

I wish him a speedyand safe recovery.

Love,

Hello there lovely!

I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling withanxiety.

I do not know the extent of your anxiety but it is totallypossible to live with it, and even recover from anxiety. There are many peoplewho are high-functioning and have to daily deal with their anxiety the bestthey can. They may be able to do this alone or they may have had to havetherapy to help them cope with anxiety.

If you feel like your anxiety is debilitating then I mustinsist that you talk to a local doctor about local therapy or even medication.Medication is normally short term as they are normally sedatives and themedication will likely be a PRN meaning you would only take it when you need it.For example if you were about to have a panic attack. However, therapy is alonger-term solution as you can explore where your anxiety is rooted and whatmakes you anxious and why. Therapy has really helped me in my life and I highlyrecommend it to people who have similar experiences to me, one of them beinganxiety.

If you want help with day-to-day anxiety here are some tipsthat have helped me in the past;

Ground yourself. Focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things youcan hear, 3 thing you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you cantaste.

Count slowly to ten. Repeat if necessary.

Take a time out. If you are panicking and you need somealone time then it is totally okay if you take some time away and do somethingyou enjoy. For example listening to music, reading a book, watching a film,knitting etc.

Talk to someone. If you can feel a panic attack coming thenI would highly recommend you talking to someone who can help you. Be thatface-to-face or on the phone both is good! This can be a family member, afriend or even a helpline. (Here is a list of helplines.)

Look at our page about anxiety and what can help (clickhere).

Once again I want to make abundantly clear that you can livewith anxiety. And anyway what is a normal life? There is no such thing. Livingwith anxiety is hard but entirely possible and with the right treatment you canrecover from it. There is hope and there is a light at the end of the tunnel!    

Keep strong!

I wish you a speedy and safe recovery!

Hello lovely!

I am so glad that myanswer helped you! I am so proud of you for going to tell your psychologistabout your thoughts, this is an amazing achievement!

Thank you for yourkind words, they have really made me smile.

If you ever need us weare all here for you.

We love you!

You got this!

Love,

Hello there lovely!

I am so proud that you have contacted us for help and advice,which is a brilliant first step.

Autism is a disorder that is on a spectrum which goes all theway from high-functioning Asperger’s to low-functioning autism. Here is a visualisationof the Autistic Spectrum.

I have high-functioning autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) and Iwas diagnosed when I was 15, which is quite late. The main difficulties I faced/faceis poor eye contact, repetitive actions, not recognising when someone is usingsarcasm and not understanding what different facial expressions meant. Youmight have completely different experiences, which is totally valid as thereare a lot of symptoms of ASD.

Here is a list of symptoms, some of these will not beappropriate but you can think back to when you were a child;

Spoken language

preferring to avoid using spoken language

speech that sounds very monotonous or flat

speaking in pre-learned phrases, rather thanputting together individual words to form new sentences

seeming to talk “at” people, rather thansharing a two-way conversation

Responding to others

taking people’s speech literally and being unableto understand sarcasm, metaphors or figures of speech

reacting unusually negatively when asked to dosomething by someone else

Interacting with others

not being aware of other people’s personal space,or being unusually intolerant of people entering their own personal space

little interest in interacting with other people,including children of a similar age, or having few close friends, despiteattempts to form friendships

not understanding how people normally interactsocially, such as greeting people or wishing them farewell

being unable to adapt the tone and content of theirspeech to different social situations – for example, speaking veryformally at a party and then speaking to total strangers in a familiar way

not enjoying situations and activities that mostchildren of their age enjoy

rarely using gestures or facial expressions whencommunicating

avoiding eye contact

Behaviour

repetitive movements, such as flapping their hands,rocking back and forth, or flicking their fingers

playing in a repetitive and unimaginative way,often preferring to play with objects rather than people

developing a highly specific interest in aparticular subject or activity

preferring to have a familiar routine and gettingvery upset if there are changes to their normal routine

having a strong like or dislike of certain foodsbased on the texture or colour of the food as much as the taste

unusual sensory interests – for example,children with ASD may sniff toys, objects or people inappropriately

If you have a few of these symptoms then I would suggest yougo and see your local doctor at the Surgery and tell him/her about all that youare experiencing and that you want help with it. They can then refer you to alocal team that specialises in autism to have you assessed and diagnosed ifneed be.

Everyone deserves help even if they only have one symptom andit is affecting their every-day life. If it is making certain things difficultin your life then I would 100% go and get help. You want the help and you arewilling to take their advice. That is the main thing.

Therapy isn’t normally used for ASD as it cannot be cured butcan be managed. What is more likely to be of benefit is learning day-to-dayskills on how to cope with social situations. They an be taught in a groupsetting or a one-to-one setting to begin with.

I hope this helped!

Good luck!

Love,

Hello there lovely!

So sorry we couldn’t get to this sooner. We have a waiting list of 4-6 weeksbut we are trying our best to cut that down. I am sorry to hear that you arehaving some bad mental illness experiences. That must be incrediblydistressing.

To get a psychiatric evaluation you normally have to be referredby your local doctor. To get this I would make an appointment at your localDoctor’s Surgery and tell them there how you have been feeling and the symptomsyou are experiencing and what help you want. I live in the UK so the onlyadvice I can give you is from here and how our system works. Normally when youneed to speak about your mental health with a GP you need to be over 18 unlessyour parent’s come too. Which is why you are probably asking about talking toyour parents about your difficulties.

I think a good first step to letting your parents know iswriting a letter. This way you will, probably, be less anxious, and you can geteverything you want to get out out. They will probably come and speak to youabout what you have written but you will not need to speak as much. Write inthe letter that you want help and you would love their support in getting help.

Alternatively you could speak to a school counsellor and tellthem your worries and your symptoms. You can ask them to speak to your parentsabout how you are feeling and what they can do to help. This way a lot of thepressure is off you and you do not need to explain too much to your parents. Idid this when I was 15 and it got me into Mental Health Services and took awaythe anxiety about talking to my mum about what I was experiencing.

Of course you could always talk to your parents face-to-face.I would suggest that you would have a plan of what you are going to say in whatorder. This way it will make it more clear to you what you are saying and toyour parents. Start by getting them to sit down with you and reassure them itis nothing to worry about you just need their help and support.

Look at this website about telling your parents that you are depressed (I don’t know what you are experiencing but this would fit most mental health problems. 

I think it is fantastic that you want to get help, that issuch a massive step to take and I am so proud of you for taking this step.

I hope that this has helped!

I wish you a speedy and safe recovery!

Love,